Chapter 196

Chapter 196

◎The flowers that withered this year will bloom again next year◎

Gu Mingxi walked aimlessly down the street, the two thin sheets of paper in her hand feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds. She couldn’t believe what Ji Nanxing had said, didn’t want to believe it, but her intuition told her it was all true.

She found a less crowded fast food joint to sit down and once again went over the two sheets of paper. She also searched for the name Guo Xun. There were still some posts related to him.

Every paragraph in those posts was so graphic and suffocating that Gu Mingxi’s hands trembled as she read them.

She had experienced enough bullying recently, but compared to Guo Xun, her experiences were nothing. What’s more, if Ji Nanxing was telling the truth, then the person who caused all this, who led to Guo Xun's death, was her dearest brother.

Gu Mingxi tightly gripped her phone and finally sent a WeChat message to her brother. (WeChat is a popular Chinese messaging app.)

Gu Mingyu hadn’t been doing well recently either. He thought the investigation would be over soon. He had never accepted bribes, so even if he was reported, he wasn’t worried. He had done nothing wrong, so he wasn’t worried about the investigation.

But days went by with no progress. Plus, with the change in leadership above them, everyone was busy currying favor with higher-ups. His case was naturally put on hold. But once something is put on hold, it’s hard to say if there will still be a position for him when others think of him again.

In such a cutthroat society, where even postgraduates might end up waiting tables, it's really one position per spot. If he delays any longer, he might really lose this job.

So Gu Mingyu had been reaching out to his connections in the company these past few days, asking about the investigation results. Unfortunately, the results weren’t good. The investigation progress wasn’t made public, and many people had been called in for questioning, causing a lot of anxiety. Everyone was too busy with their own problems to care about him, who was suspended.

When his sister contacted him, Gu Mingyu was outside looking at job postings. Jobs are easy to find if you're not picky. At his age of around thirty, in his prime, he could still find a job to make ends meet. But high-paying gigs, especially those in his field, were out of the question.

His current monthly salary started at thirty thousand, with bonuses, quarterly performance bonuses, and an annual bonus of over a hundred thousand. A quick estimate showed he made fifty to sixty grand a month.

His cost of living had already risen to match his income. His sister had just started high school, and there would be tutoring fees, university tuition, living expenses, all of which were high costs. Plus, his mother was getting older, and they needed to set aside some money for medical expenses. Just the various insurances they paid for the whole family added up to over ten thousand a month.

If he lost this high-paying gig and had to settle for a few grand a month, he wouldn’t even be able to pay off his mortgage and car loans, let alone anything else.

But Gu Mingyu kept these concerns to himself and didn't share them with his family. In front of his sister, he had to put on a brave face, acting like he could handle anything.

Walking into the fast food joint and spotting Gu Mingxi sitting there, he didn’t ask why she wasn’t in school but instead asked if she had ordered anything: "What do you want to eat? I'll order for you."

Gu Mingxi shook her head: "I'm not hungry. Have you eaten, brother?"

Gu Mingyu: "I've eaten. Why aren't you in evening study session? Did someone bully you?"

Gu Mingxi shook her head again, looking at this brother who had always supported her. She hesitated, wanting to ask but too afraid. She was afraid that if she asked, their lives would never be the same again.

Finally, the words she had gathered the courage to say came out as a question about work: "Brother, how's your work going? Don't sweat it. If it doesn't work out, you can always find something else."

Gu Mingyu ruffled his sister’s hair: "Don't sweat it. Be honest with me, is something up at school?"

Gu Mingxi shook her head: "Really, nothing's wrong. It's just that not many people are playing with me recently, but it's okay. It'll get better soon."

Hearing this, Gu Mingyu felt a bit heartbroken but couldn't do anything. He couldn't force people to play with his sister, so he said: "If it comes to it, we can transfer schools. Where are your old friends studying? I'll see what it takes to transfer there."

Gu Mingxi smiled: "No need to transfer. Yulan, how many people dream of getting in but can't? Brother, you graduated from Yulan too. Are you still in touch with your high school classmates?"

Gu Mingyu shook his head: "After graduation, everyone went their separate ways. Not just high school, I don't keep in touch with many university classmates either. Friends are a phase, one period one friend. Friends during student days are classmates, and after work, friends are colleagues. Not many friendships last forever, so don't sweat it. It'll blow over eventually."

Gu Mingxi nodded and sat for a while longer. Seeing it was getting late, Gu Mingyu picked up her backpack: "Let's go home."

Gu Mingxi picked up her phone and followed Gu Mingyu. When they reached the door, she closed her eyes and grabbed his clothes.

Gu Mingyu turned around: "What's wrong?"

Gu Mingxi opened her eyes and looked at him: "Brother, have you ever done anything wrong to someone?"

Staring into those eyes that seemed to see right through him, Gu Mingyu instinctively felt a pang of panic but maintained a calm facade: "Why are you asking that? Did you do something to hurt someone?"

Noticing the brief, unnatural expression that flashed across his face, Gu Mingxi slowly let go of his clothes, her heart sinking bit by bit.

He was her older brother, the one who had held the family together after their father died. When she was younger, Gu Mingxi had been afraid too—afraid of losing her support, afraid that her brother would see her and their mother as burdens, and even more afraid that her brother would struggle too much to keep the family afloat. That's why she observed, pondered, and often analyzed her brother's emotions.

After so much observation and thought, it wasn't hard for her to spot the guilt he couldn't hide.

Gu Mingxi took a deep breath: "Brother, is the person you hurt... Guo Xun?"

Gu Mingyu's face completely changed. His facial muscles twitched uncontrollably, and for a moment, he seemed to lose control of his facial expressions. He tried to smile but couldn't, his face stiff, his eyes brimming with panic: "How do you know Guo Xun?"

Gu Mingxi looked at him tearfully: "So it's true, isn't it? You reported him for being gay just to get that recommendation spot? Why? You could've gotten into a good university on your own. Why did you need that recommendation spot so badly? Brother, that was someone's life!"

Gu Mingyu grabbed Gu Mingxi's shoulders and stared at her: "Who told you that? I didn't report him! His death isn't on me!"

Gu Mingxi was no longer at an age where she couldn't distinguish right from wrong or blindly believe what others said. Her brother's face had already given her the answer: "Then why do you look so guilty? Why did your face change the second I mentioned Guo Xun?"

Gu Mingyu's face darkened: "Who told you that? You'd believe strangers over your own brother?"

Gu Mingxi didn't argue further. She just looked at him and asked: "Do you know how it feels to be bullied?"

Gu Mingyu didn't want to discuss something that had happened over a decade ago. He raised his voice, warningly: "Gu Mingxi!"

Gu Mingxi: "I know. It feels like everyone's eyes are slicing into you like knives. Things you never did are talked about like they actually happened. Everyone whispers about you behind your back, spreading vicious rumors. You can't just ignore it by not listening or looking. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I wake up from the same nightmare every night, reliving it over and over. In the dream, I'm naked on a crowded street, and everyone's staring at me. Brother, do you know how scary that feels? It's so scary that just thinking about school fills me with fear. Even when people are just chatting, I can't help but wonder if they're talking about me."

Gu Mingxi cried: "I'm not okay. I just didn't dare say anything. I was afraid of causing you trouble, of adding to your stress. I was afraid of worrying Mom, of making her anxious. I have a family that loves me, and yet I'm in so much pain. Guo Xun had nothing back then. He only had a same-sex lover, and even that was taken away from him. How desperate must he have been to jump off a building? Brother, why? Why did it have to be you? Why you?"

Gu Mingyu had been so preoccupied with his own work issues that he had no idea his sister had been suffering so much. His heart ached, but he didn't know what to do. He wanted to wipe away her tears.

But before his hand could touch Gu Mingxi's face, she pushed him away: "Do you believe in karma?"

Gu Mingyu pressed his lips together tightly.

Gu Mingxi, her eyes red, said: "In middle school, I was very popular. My classmates and teachers all liked me. During group activities, everyone wanted to be around me. Even when my grades weren't great, you and Mom never pressured me. You even spent so much money hiring a teacher to teach me how to paint. But everything changed when I got to high school. Everything changed. Brother, do you think this is karma? What you did to Guo Xun is now coming back to me."

Gu Mingyu's face changed again: "Don't talk nonsense! Gu Mingxi, I don't know where you heard this, but it's not true!"

Gu Mingxi nodded at him and smiled: "Really? Brother, if you're lying, then all the karma will come back to me tenfold. Say it again. Say that Guo Xun's death has nothing to do with you. If you say it, I'll believe you."

Gu Mingyu opened his mouth, but his throat felt like it was being squeezed shut. He had lied to the world, to himself, and he had almost convinced himself that it had nothing to do with him. But that letter of complaint—he had placed it in the principal's office.

When those photos were scattered across the school, when those rumors spread like wildfire, when Guo Xun's father came to the school and nearly beat Guo Xun to death, he had stood coldly in the hallway, watching.

He hadn't created the photos or the rumors, but it was easy to incite a group of bored teenagers, especially at an age when they were curious about everything. He had merely mentioned that Guo Xun had left the Gifted Youth Class to return to high school, and soon everyone knew why Guo Xun had dropped out.

He had merely commented that Guo Xun was as pretty as a girl and that he and Yu Sixing seemed to be flirting like they were in a relationship. Soon after, those intimate photos were leaked.

Why? Was it just for the recommendation spot? Of course not. There was also a bit of jealousy.

He had always been at the top of his class, never falling below third place. But after Guo Xun arrived, he was no longer first. Guo Xun took all the competition spots, and even the recommendation spot—the school's first choice was Guo Xun.

He didn't care much about the recommendation spot, but something that should have been his was taken by someone else.

Gu Mingxi lowered her eyes and stopped looking at her brother. She turned and slowly walked away.

She didn't want to go home, but she didn't know where else to go. She wandered aimlessly through the streets, her mind in chaos. How could her wonderful brother be like this? No one could answer her, and no one could tell her what to do next.

If she had never experienced what it felt like to be bullied, perhaps her feelings wouldn't be so intense. She might have even found excuses to defend her brother. After all, when it came to choosing between a close brother and a stranger, everyone knew which side to take.

Having personally experienced it, she knew that terrible feeling and couldn't accept a brother who had done such things.

Early the next morning, Gu Mingxi came out of her room with her schoolbag, not even glancing at the people eating breakfast. "I'm going to school," she said.

Mother Gu quickly picked up two buns and a bottle of milk to catch up with her daughter, but Gu Mingyu reached out and took them. "I'll give them to her," he said.

When he caught up with her at the elevator, Gu Mingyu handed her the breakfast. "I'll handle your transfer," he said.

Gu Mingxi's gaze fell on the milk bottle. "After all these years," she asked, "have you ever regretted it?"

Gu Mingyu frowned. "Can we just drop this?"

Gu Mingxi smiled at Gu Mingyu. "I'm not transferring. Some things are just for me to endure."

Gu Mingxi never knew she could be so quiet. The exclusion by everyone used to torment her every second, but now she felt good. It wasn’t self-punishment—just a peaceful quiet where no one bothered her.

After the morning exercises, some people rushed back to the classroom, while others headed to the convenience store in groups.

Chen Shiyi didn’t stay with his class. Instead, he cheerfully ran over to Ji Nanxing. "Nanxing! Quick, I brought you some snacks. Hurry and stash them in your pocket before that crazy girl snatches them again."

As Chen Shiyi stuffed things into Ji Nanxing’s pocket, Ji Nanxing couldn’t even see what was being shoved in. "You carried all this during exercises? Aren’t you afraid it’ll fall out?"

Chen Shiyi scoffed. "How could they fall out? Just go through the motions during exercises—who actually takes them seriously? These are all snacks I found tasty, scavenged from live streams. Try them and tell me which you like best. I’ll bring more on sports day."

Xiao Ye pushed Chen Shiyi aside. "What are you doing? Get back to your own class instead of running around here."

Chen Shiyi clicked his tongue in annoyance and leaned closer to Ji Nanxing. "Does this guy not eat enough? He’s so protective of his food."

Ji Nanxing smiled without a word, his gaze lingering on the nearby flower bed.

Chen Shiyi followed his gaze. "Out of season. All the flowers have withered, and the weather’s getting cold again."

Only a few petals clung to the branches, ready to fall at the slightest touch. The once vibrant roses—bright red and soft pink—had shed their petals, leaving the flower bed looking bare and desolate.

Ji Nanxing said, "Out of season. They withered this year, but they’ll bloom again next spring."

Chen Shiyi tugged him toward the classroom. "Try all the snacks and let me know which ones you like! I’ll sneak over to hang out with you on sports day."

As they reached the staircase, Jiang Tangtang shouted from the classroom door, "Chen Shiyi, hurry up! They’re handing out the test papers!"

Chen Shiyi called back, "Coming, coming. Why so eager to collect your failing grades?"

With that, he waved at Ji Nanxing and dashed back to his classroom.

Worried the stuff in Ji Nanxing’s pocket was too heavy, Xiao Ye held up the pocket of his jacket and flipped through it. "What’s all this junk? No eating sketchy snacks."

Ji Nanxing took off his jacket. "It’s crazy he carried all that during exercises."

Xiao Ye had just grabbed the jacket Ji Nanxing took off when he heard that annoying voice again.

"Ji Nanxing." Without turning around, Xiao Ye recognized the voice and rolled his eyes.

The chemistry teacher, who had come to find Ji Nanxing, glanced at Xiao Ye. "What’s going on? Got a problem with Mr. Yu?"

Xiao Ye shot back, "Yeah, big issues."

Ji Nanxing turned to Yu Sixing, who said, "I’m not here for the Heaven's Eye Charm. A Xun mentioned you burn incense and charm paper for him every week. What do you need? I’ll buy it from you."

Ji Nanxing nodded: "I'll send you the price list and the instructions for offering incense later."

Yu Sixing: "Thank you."

Ji Nanxing acknowledged with a hum and was about to enter the classroom when Yu Sixing spoke up again: "I mean, thanks for burning incense and talismans for A Xun all this time, and thank you for stopping me from making a bigger mistake."

Ji Nanxing then looked at him seriously: "Have you figured it out?"

Yu Sixing: "Not really, but I remember how A Xun died. I don't want to become the kind of person A Xun despised the most, but I still won't let Gu Mingyu off."

Ji Nanxing: "That's your call. Now that you're back, I won't be handling the incense and talismans for Guo Xun anymore. I'll give you a web store address where you can buy things that lingering ghosts can actually consume. You can buy them online from now on."

After saying this, Ji Nanxing pulled Xiao Ye into the classroom.

Yu Sixing chuckled. He's still a soft-hearted young man, handing over the duty of burning incense and talismans for Guo Xun to him, giving him something to be cautious about in the future. If he were to act recklessly, Guo Xun would truly become a wandering ghost with no one to make offerings.

But this is also good. Having something to care about and being cautious can sometimes be more fulfilling than having no worries at all. Although they are separated by life and death, he knows that Guo Xun is there, and that's enough.