Chapter 5:

Chapter 5

Marital intimacy was something Pei Yun could never speak of to outsiders. Only she knew how deeply she feared it. While other wives longed for their husbands to stay with them every night, she was different. On the nights designated for her and Li Zhangye to share a bed, she hoped he’d be too swamped with official duties and send Chang Lu to inform her to rest early.

For Pei Yun, the act of consummation felt like torture—long and painful. So when Chang Lu arrived with such news, she felt not the slightest disappointment but rather a sense of relief, as if she had narrowly escaped disaster.

The lively atmosphere in the palace had never concerned Pei Yun. In the past, she couldn’t interject, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and later, she simply stopped trying to speak at all.

After sitting for another half an hour, the guests began to take their leave one by one, but Pei Yun lingered behind.

Noble Consort Gao, sensing she had something to say, asked first, "Crown Princess, did you come to Yong'an Palace today for a particular reason?"

Pei Yun first thanked Noble Consort Gao for the first-month celebration gifts she had sent, then revealed her true purpose for the visit: she wanted to visit her family home tomorrow.

This was no major request, and Noble Consort Gao, understanding her homesickness, granted permission at once.

Pei Yun bowed in gratitude and left Yong'an Palace, her steps back to the Eastern Palace noticeably quicker.

Shu Yan and Shu Mo were no less excited than Pei Yun upon hearing the news. Their lady had finally set aside her reluctance and was willing to return home.

Back in Linlang Hall, Pei Yun began making preparations. Since this was a family visit, gifts were expected. She told Shu Mo to bring the inventory list of her private storeroom and skimmed through it, frowning slightly. "I recall there was a century-old ginseng in the storeroom. Where has it gone?"

Shu Mo looked surprised and reminded her, "Your Highness has forgotten—some time ago, the old madam fell ill and specifically sent someone to request that century-old ginseng, saying it was to replenish her vitality..."

Pei Yun’s lips tightened.

She remembered now. There had indeed been such an incident, but her grandmother had never been seriously ill. She’d brazenly sent someone to the Eastern Palace to ask for it, having heard that consuming high-quality ginseng could prolong life.

Since her grandmother had the audacity to ask, Pei Yun, if only to maintain her reputation for filial piety, had no choice but to comply.

Shu Mo seemed to read Pei Yun’s thoughts and, after a moment of contemplation, said, "If Your Highness needs century-old ginseng, this maid remembers that His Highness the Crown Prince may still have one—a gift from the late Empress."

What they called "the Crown Prince’s possession" was actually the Eastern Palace storeroom. Li Zhangye had no private storeroom of his own; as master of the Eastern Palace, its storeroom was his. All the jade treasures, famous artworks, and authentic relics were kept there.

Pei Yun had always drawn a clear line between the Eastern Palace storeroom and her private collection. Though she held the keys to the storeroom and often checked the inventory for discrepancies, aside from withdrawals for social obligations, she never used anything for herself.

She dared not, nor did she wish to.

But while ginseng could be purchased outside the palace, its potency and quality couldn’t compare to the palace’s.

Seeing Pei Yun hesitate, Shu Mo added after a pause, "Your Highness, before His Highness departed, he instructed this maid that if you required anything, I was to seek out Eunuch Sheng Xi, who would find a way. Since His Highness said as much, taking a single century-old ginseng would hardly be an issue. He certainly wouldn’t mind."

Sheng Xi was the apprentice of Chang Lu, the Crown Prince’s chief eunuch, and had served His Highness for over a decade. His cleverness had earned him considerable favor.

Before Pei Yun entered the Eastern Palace, Sheng Xi had managed the storeroom. After Li Zhangye handed its oversight to Pei Yun, she did not take full control—while she appeared to be in charge, the actual administration remained Sheng Xi’s responsibility.

Since the Crown Prince was willing to let her use his trusted subordinate, he naturally wouldn’t care about something as trivial as a single ginseng root.

This was what Shu Mo sought to convey.

After a moment’s consideration, Pei Yun lowered her eyes, tapped the inventory list in her hand, and gave a few instructions. Shu Mo blinked in surprise, then nodded and withdrew.

Half an hour later, Shu Mo returned with two sandalwood boxes in hand.

Pei Yun was seated by the window, embroidering a sachet, when she glanced up, puzzled. Shu Mo reported, "Your Highness, the ginseng has been retrieved. Eunuch Sheng Xi at first wouldn’t take the lingzhi mushroom, but after much coaxing from this maid, he gave in. However, he then retrieved another item from the storeroom, saying that since an exchange was being made, the lingzhi was worth as much as the century-old ginseng, and this addition was necessary. He also mentioned that this item would be perfect for the Third Young Lady to wear."

Hearing this, Pei Yun put down her embroidery and lifted the lid of the carved wooden box. Inside lay a pair of gold-wire ruby earrings.

The lingzhi mushroom Pei Yun had sent had been a gift from her older brother, Pei Xuan, who had specially arranged for it to be delivered from Wunan to help with her pregnancy. She’d never liked such remedies and thus never used it. The lingzhi was worth as much as the century-old ginseng, but Sheng Xi had thrown in an extra pair of earrings—a smooth diplomatic gesture.

She did not refuse, lest she make things difficult for Sheng Xi and leave him in an awkward position. Closing the lid of the box, she said calmly, "Since he has said so, take it back tomorrow."

In the future, if anything else entered the estate’s treasury, she could quietly compensate with something else.

Meanwhile, Shu Yan moved quickly, preparing all the items needed for Pei Yun's return home the next day within an hour. There wasn’t much to prepare, as she wouldn’t be staying overnight and would return before evening.

That night, perhaps due to excitement, Pei Yun slept poorly. Combined with Jin Er waking frequently, she likely slept no more than two hours in total.

Yet, despite this, she remained remarkably alert. Before dawn, she was already up, holding Jin Er, freshly fed and burped by the wet nurse, pacing back and forth until he fell asleep and was handed back to the nurse. Only then did she dress and prepare for the day.

Mid-afternoon, she stepped into a small sedan chair, heading toward the palace gates.

After days of gloomy weather, today was unexpectedly clear. As the sedan passed through the palace gates, Pei Yun couldn’t resist lifting the curtain to look outside. The moment the sedan emerged from the long, dim tunnel of the gate, sunlight pierced the gray clouds, spilling through the window onto the back of her hand and half her face.

She squinted slightly, her expression briefly distant.

In her past life, Pei Yun had left the palace several times a year for various reasons, so she wasn’t overwhelmed with joy at escaping this gilded cage—after all, it was only temporary, not true liberation.

But this time was different.

The sedan stopped outside the palace gates, and Shu Yan and Shu Mo helped Pei Yun alight before stepping into the carriage bound for the estate.

Seated inside, Pei Yun listened to the turning wheels, her heart hammered as if it might burst. She clutched the hand warmer on her lap nervously, praying the journey would hurry.

Yet, after what felt like an eternity, the carriage gradually slowed as a driver’s “Whoa!” sounded outside. Her heart seemed to skip a beat.

"Your Highness, we’re here."

It took a moment for Shu Mo’s voice to reach her before she snapped back to awareness. The carriage curtain had already been lifted. Biting her lip, she finally dared to peek outside.

But one glance was all it took—her vision blurred.

Above the grand vermilion gates hung a black plaque inscribed with gilded characters: "Residence of the Duke of State Stabilization." Two majestic stone lions stood guard on either side. Outside the wide-open gates, a crowd of servants stood in orderly rows. At the forefront, a middle-aged woman immediately bowed deeply the moment the carriage curtain moved.

"This humble servant greets Her Highness the Crown Princess."

But before the woman could fully kneel, a pair of hands urgently lifted her. The next moment, a voice quavered, "Mother."

The woman stiffened slightly, looking up in surprise.

Pei Yun’s eyes brimmed red as she studied the woman before her—around forty years old, with gentle features. Though signs of age were visible, echoes of her youthful beauty lingered.

Seeing her mother again—the one she’d yearned for in dreams and whispered to in moments of vulnerability in her past life—Pei Yun fought back tears, gripping her mother’s cold hands. "It’s freezing out here. I told them to let you wait inside. Why did you come out to greet me?"

Hearing the tender reproach laced with deep concern, Lady Zhou froze for a heartbeat. Staring intently, she confirmed—this was indeed her eldest daughter.

But the child she remembered had grown increasingly aloof and distant since entering the Eastern Palace seven years ago. Even speaking to her mother lacked the warmth of before. At times, her regal bearing as Crown Princess made her seem near a stranger, leaving Lady Zhou hesitant to share heartfelt words.

Seeing her like this now, Lady Zhou was almost overwhelmed. The last time her daughter had left after a visit home, they had parted on bitter terms. She had expected this return to be similarly strained.

Gulping down the ache in her throat, Lady Zhou squeezed her daughter’s hands tightly. "It’s no trouble. Besides, how could I stay put?"

Then, studying her carefully, she asked with concern, "Are you feeling better now?"

Lady Zhou naturally knew about Pei Yun’s difficult childbirth and postpartum hemorrhage. She had been frantic with worry, desperate to visit the palace. But after their falling out, her daughter had refused to see her, leaving her barred outside the palace gates, helpless and desperate for news. All she could do was kneel night after night in the cold ancestral hall of the Duke’s residence, praying for her daughter’s safety.

"Don’t worry, Mother. I’m much better." Pei Yun nodded, gazing earnestly at her mother’s worried expression. With every glance, her past folly stung sharper. How could she have ever doubted that such a loving mother didn’t care for her?

In her previous life, she had been distracted by worldly concerns, obsessed with the wrong things, which led to constant conflict with her family. She even missed the chance to see her mother one last time, only learning some truths from her younger sister after her mother's passing.

By then, it was already too late for regrets.

"Mother, let's go inside."

With that, she took Lady Zhou's arm and made their way slowly into the estate with her.

Lady Zhou was momentarily stunned by her daughter's sudden gesture, but soon a delighted smile spread across her lips, impossible to conceal.

"Where is Yan Yan?" Pei Yun asked casually as they walked toward the parlor.

Yan Yan was the pet name of her younger sister, Pei Wei, the third young lady of the Pei family.

Lady Zhou's eyes flickered slightly. "Oh, she said the estate felt too confining, so she went to stay at the country house in the outskirts for a while. Since your return was sudden and you’ll be going back to the palace soon, I didn’t notify her to come back."

Pei Yun noticed her mother's nervousness but didn’t expose it. Having lived through this once, she knew the truth wasn’t as stated, yet she simply smiled and gave a soft "Mm" in response.

Once seated in the parlor, Pei Yun took a sip of tea before suddenly turning to Lady Zhou with a frown. "Mother, you look rather pale. Are you feeling unwell?"

Lady Zhou's smile stiffened slightly before she forced a lighthearted tone. "Ah, you noticed. It’s nothing serious—a touch of fever recently, but I’m almost recovered."

Pei Yun pressed her lips together, knowing full well but playing along. She then glanced at Shu Mo, who understood and respectfully produced a lacquered box.

Placing the box before Lady Zhou and opening it, Pei Yun said softly, "This is ginseng I brought from the palace. It’s excellent for your constitution. Have it prepared properly these next few days—it should help you recover faster."

Though Lady Zhou’s maiden family was only a minor gentry family from southern Wu with limited knowledge, years in the capital had refined her judgment. She could tell at a glance that the ginseng was of great value and hurriedly declined. "Such a precious thing would be wasted on me. It’s better to offer it to your grandmother for her nourishment."

At the mention of Madam Pei, the light in Pei Yun’s smile dimmed.

Just then, hurried footsteps approached.

Soon, Shu Mo’s voice sounded from outside. "Your Ladyship, Nanny Li from the dowager's apartments has arrived."

Pei Yun’s gaze turned cold, but she didn’t summon the woman inside, only letting her icy voice drift out. "What is it?"

The old servant replied from behind the felt curtain, "Your Ladyship, the dowager heard of your return and sent this servant to remind you not to forget to visit the Hall of Devoted Piety."

Pei Yun almost scoffed in disbelief.

Not only had her grandmother not come to greet her, but she was now summoning her instead—the sheer audacity.

Hearing this, Lady Zhou showed visible distress. "Oh dear, I was so overjoyed that I overlooked this. If you don’t wish to see your grandmother... I’ll go speak to her."

Pei Yun gently pressed down on Lady Zhou’s arm as she began to stand. "Stay here, Mother. I’ll go myself."

"But..." Lady Zhou hesitated.

Pei Yun knew what she feared. "Don’t worry, Mother. Grandmother won’t blame you..."

She paused, gazing deeply at Lady Zhou before adding firmly, "From now on, I will protect you."

Lady Zhou felt an odd pang in her chest at Pei Yun’s grave, meaningful words. Her daughter's gaze held something unfamiliar that she couldn’t quite place, so she simply nodded with a smile, taking her at her word.

Pei Yun stood to take her leave, saying she would return after visiting her grandmother to have lunch together.

Lady Zhou agreed, though still uneasy, and held her hand to urge, "Speak properly with your grandmother. Don’t... let tensions rise."

"Of course," Pei Yun replied with a smile.

Yet as she donned the fox-fur cloak and stepped out of the pavilion, her smile vanished entirely. Her gaze turned as piercingly cold as the biting wind that met her, and with a slight lift of her chin, each step she took was steady and resolute.

She would protect her mother—this was no empty promise.

In her past life, she had been unaware of how her mother had endured relentless bullying at the hands of her grandmother, nor had she known that her mother had developed chronic rheumatism, enduring constant pain. It was this affliction that worsened upon hearing the news of her elder brother’s death in battle three years later, leading her mother to succumb to grief.

But this time, screw that wretched grandmother. If the old woman dared to throw her weight around as the elder and harm her own kin, then Pei Yun would show no mercy.

In the past, she had been courteous, excusing her grandmother from formal greetings and obeisances. Yet the woman had taken this kindness as weakness, growing bolder, trying to walk all over her. Accustomed to domineering over her back in Cangzhou, the grandmother saw no reason to restrain herself even now that Pei Yun was the Crown Princess.

The scheming and cutthroat instincts Pei Yun had honed in her previous life—they were meant precisely for such a person!