Chapter 39: He Seems Like a Tool to Be Discarded After Use

Chapter 39: He Seems Like a Tool to Be Discarded After Use

By the end of May, Pei Yun brought Shu Yan and Shu Mo to Noble Consort Shu’s Yilan Hall.

Since the Empress Dowager’s return to the palace, Noble Consort Shu had been bedridden for nearly half a month. Pei Yun wasn’t especially close to her, but because Noble Consort Shu, like Noble Consort Gao, had always treated her kindly since her entry into the palace, she decided to pay a visit.

More importantly, Pei Yun knew that Noble Consort Shu’s days were numbered. In her past life, just the following year—the autumn of the 25th year of Emperor Qingzhen’s reign—Noble Consort Shu had passed away due to illness.

Noble Consort Shu seemed surprised by her visit. When Pei Yun entered the inner chamber, she saw Noble Consort Shu being helped to sit up, leaning against the pillows at the head of the bed, her complexion a little pale.

“Why has the Crown Princess come so unexpectedly?” Noble Consort Shu gestured for the palace maid beside her to serve tea.

Pei Yun sat on the round stool by the bed. “I heard Your Ladyship has been ill for a long time and came especially to see you.”

As she spoke, she glanced at Shu Mo, who stepped forward and presented what she was holding.

“You didn’t need to bring anything just for a visit.”

Pei Yun instructed Shu Mo to hand the items to Noble Consort Shu’s maid and smiled. “These are only some medicinal herbs for recuperation. I’m not sure if Your Ladyship will find them useful.”

“You’re most kind.”

Noble Consort Shu studied Pei Yun carefully, noting her rosy cheeks and jet-black hair, her eyes showing a hint of envy. “I see that since giving birth to the Third Imperial Grandson, the Crown Princess’s complexion has only grown more radiant. It seems the Crown Prince dotes on you. A few days ago, Noble Consort Gao also visited me and mentioned how, during the banquet in the imperial garden, the Crown Prince specially requested a jade bracelet for you. Such marital harmony is a rare blessing. Sadly, I’ve never had such fortune in this lifetime…”

Pei Yun understood what Noble Consort Shu meant. The women of the harem were all the same, revolving around Emperor Qingzhen alone, yet his heart and favor never rested on any one of them.

It was often said that emperors were without affection, and these words were embodied perfectly in Emperor Qingzhen. Apart from the late empress, who had borne him two children before his ascension, any concubine who had given birth to his heirs was rarely favored again. They seemed to exist solely to continue the imperial bloodline, and once their purpose was fulfilled, their value was gone.

Unsure how to comfort her, Pei Yun changed the subject. “Your Ladyship still has the Fifth Prince. He is obedient, filial, and exceptionally bright. To have a child like him is surely a blessing in itself…”

In her past life, after Noble Consort Shu’s death, the Fifth Prince had pleaded with Emperor Qingzhen to bury his mother in Rujun, fulfilling her final wish.

Rujun was Noble Consort Shu’s hometown, but according to ancestral customs, imperial consorts were to be interred in the imperial mausoleum—there had never been an exception. The Fifth Prince knelt outside the imperial study all night before Emperor Qingzhen finally relented.

To observe mourning for his mother, the Fifth Prince even escorted Noble Consort Shu’s coffin back to Rujun and remained there. Touched by his filial piety, Emperor Qingzhen issued an edict enfeoffing him as Prince Xuan and granted Rujun as his fief. Until Pei Yun’s death in her past life, the Fifth Prince had never returned from Rujun.

At the mention of the Fifth Prince, Noble Consort Shu’s expression softened slightly. “Xiao Wu* is indeed a good child. He sent word a few days ago, saying he should be returning to the capital soon.”

*(Xiao Wu: Nickname for the Fifth Prince.)

Noble Consort Shu’s illness was not due to illness but overwhelming grief—her full sister had passed away suddenly.

Her sister had been the wife of the current head of the Meng family, Meng Yi, the youngest Grand Secretary of the Inner Court. This Lady Meng had recently returned to her husband’s hometown, Yaozhou, to care for her mother-in-law, but within days, she fell gravely ill and passed away.

The news came so abruptly that Noble Consort Shu fainted upon hearing it.

As the two spoke, a voice cried, “Mother!” from outside.

Pei Yun turned to see the Fifth Prince and Li Shutang hurrying into the chamber.

*Third Sister-in-law?*

Both looked surprised to find her seated inside.

Li Shutang was close in age to the Fifth Prince, just a year younger. Hearing that the Fifth Prince would travel to Yaozhou on Noble Consort Shu’s behalf to attend Lady Meng’s funeral, Li Shutang, worried about her brother and eager to leave the capital, had insisted on accompanying him. Thus, neither had been in the capital for some time.

The Fifth Prince sat by Noble Consort Shu’s side, first inquiring about her health before saying, “Uncle has already taken care of Aunt’s funeral arrangements. Though I couldn’t be of much help, I made sure to properly bid Aunt farewell on your behalf.”

Noble Consort Shu nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. “Good… You’ve done well, and so has Tang Er…” Mother and son had much to catch up on after so long apart. Sensing this, Pei Yun tactfully rose to take her leave and left Yilan Hall with Li Shutang.

Walking along the lengthy palace corridor, Pei Yun couldn't help but ask, "Speaking of which, Tang'er, this must be your first time leaving the capital and traveling so far, right?"

"Yes." Li Shutang linked arms with Pei Yun, eager to share her experiences. "Sister Pei, once I left the capital, I realized how much I've been like a frog at the bottom of a well all these years. Great Zhao is so much bigger, with so many beautiful sights..."

As she spoke, Li Shutang's eyes sparkled like stars, the scenery flashing through her mind seemingly reflected in her radiant gaze. The current Li Shutang was bright and cheerful, like unfurling flower petals or sunlight breaking through clouds.

No longer just someone's shadow.

"But Sister Pei, the Meng family is truly strange..." Halfway through, Li Shutang abruptly changed the subject.

"What happened?"

Li Shutang frowned slightly. "Minister Meng's wife passed away, yet he didn't seem upset at all—not a single tear at the funeral. Moreover, his eldest son didn't even attend his own mother's funeral, claiming he was too ill to come."

Pei Yun wasn't particularly surprised, though she didn't know much about the Meng family either. She replied, "As a Grand Secretary of the Neige, Minister Meng couldn't exactly break down crying before his colleagues and elders at the funeral—it would be undignified. Perhaps beneath his composed exterior, he's grieving deeply. As for the eldest son, he might have collapsed from sorrow over his mother's sudden passing, just like in Consort Shu's case..."

Li Shutang found this reasoning plausible and, lacking any alternative explanation, nodded slowly.

Pei Yun invited Li Shutang to visit her quarters, but Li Shutang declined. Having been away from the capital for so long, she was eager to see Consort Yue and wished to return early, promising to visit another time when she was free.

Pei Yun then returned to Linglong Hall.

No sooner had she sat down and taken a sip of tea than she noticed Shu Mo standing before her, looking hesitant.

Having served her for over a decade, Pei Yun could easily read her thoughts. She cut straight to the point: "If you have something to say, speak now. It's just the two of us here."

Shu Mo pressed her lips together, then grew even more cautious. She stepped out to close the doors to the outer hall before returning to whisper, "Milady, earlier you instructed me to give money to the family of the drowned servant. I went, but while there, I encountered someone..."

Pei Yun put her cup down. "Who?"

"At first, I only found the person familiar but couldn't place them. It wasn't until just now that I realized..." Shu Mo paused. "It was Xiao Tao, one of Consort Shu's maids."

Pei Yun's face fell, her gaze fixed intently on Shu Mo. "Are you certain?"

"I believe so." Shu Mo recalled, "Xiao Tao was wearing a butterfly sachet at her waist. I got a good look—it was identical to the one she wore the last time I saw her."

Butterfly...

Pei Yun's eyes widened slightly.

Bits of memories came rushing back from the depths of her mind. She remembered how, in her past life, after Rong Jieer was left simple-minded by the incident, she would often murmur, "Butterfly, butterfly..."

Those little things she'd ignored now aligned perfectly across two lifetimes.

A cold dread crept up from Pei Yun's feet, spreading through her entire body.

In both lifetimes, Consort Shu had been absent from the imperial garden banquet due to illness. Was it possible that the incident involving Rong Jieer in the past life and the servant's death in this one were both connected to Consort Shu?

That Consort Shu who always seemed so sweet... could she really...?

Pei Yun suddenly grabbed Shu Mo's arm and asked urgently, "Did that maid Xiao Tao notice you?"

Shu Mo was startled. After a moment, she slowly shook her head. "I don't believe so. I was careful—I waited long after she left before emerging. When we crossed paths later, she showed no reaction."

Before Pei Yun could breathe easy, another thought struck her. "What did you say to the eunuch's family when you gave them the money?"

Shu Mo recounted, "I simply told them that I knew the servant well and was saddened by his sudden death. I offered the money to help buy a nice coffin so he could be buried properly."

Pei Yun gave a slight nod.

Unlike Shu Yan’s bubbly personality, Shu Mo was level-headed and meticulous in her work. Fortunately, this time, she had sent Shu Mo to carry out the task.

She let out a slight sigh of relief and said solemnly, "Shu Mo, take this secret to the grave. Not even Shu Yan can know—let it rot completely in your stomach, do you understand?"

Though unsure why her lady reacted so fearfully upon hearing this, Shu Mo had always known the importance of discretion and never asked unnecessary questions. She nodded firmly, "You have my word, my lady."

Though there seemed to be no risk of exposure, ever since learning that Consort Shu was connected to the incident involving Rong Jieer in her past life, Pei Yun had grown increasingly unsettled.

Even at night, she began having frequent nightmares. She dreamed of standing on the edge of a well, only to be pushed in. The water flooded her mouth and nose, the same suffocating dread she’d felt dying in her past life.

She thrashed, desperate for air, but a pair of hands pressed her head down, pushing her deeper until she went limp, slowly losing strength. Pei Yun would wake up screaming, her nightclothes soaked through with sweat.

After two or three days of this, Pei Yun realized how much fear still gripped her. In her past life, she had ended her own life so decisively, yet in this life, she had too much to lose—her children, her family—and she simply didn’t want to die.

She also suddenly realized that in her past life, confined within the narrow world of the Eastern Palace, it was as if her eyes and ears had been blocked. She had always faced layers of mist, but now, in this life, the wind had torn a gap in that mist. Only then did she understand that the world around her was teeming with secrets—and threats.

All things she had been unaware of in her past life.

And her reckless actions had almost gotten Shu Mo killed—and might endanger her own life as well.

For the first time since her rebirth, Pei Yun truly felt fear.

For several days, she was listless, even blanking on the Crown Prince’s scheduled visit. Fortunately, that evening, the Crown Prince had urgent matters and sent Sheng Xi to call it off, instructing her to rest early.

She did retire early, and the next day, she picked at her dinner before going to bed, though once lying down, she found herself unable to sleep.

Around the hour of Hai, half-asleep, she felt something brush against her forehead. With great effort, she opened her eyes to see the Crown Prince looming over her, brow furrowed.

"Your Highness," she murmured softly, sitting up.

The Crown Prince withdrew his hand from her forehead, his voice laced with concern, "You’re pale. Are you unwell?"

Pei Yun couldn’t tell him the truth, so she merely shook her head. "I’m so thrilled about my elder brother’s upcoming wedding that I’ve lost sleep these past few nights."

Then, as if remembering something, she realized tonight was also the night they were supposed to be together. Her lips pursed slightly as she asked, "Shall I prepare a bath, Your Highness?"

Hearing this, the Crown Prince’s gaze darkened. "I’ve already bathed before coming here."

The two of them stared at each other in silence, tension crackling between them.

The Crown Prince suddenly said, "All of you, leave."

The servants scurried out, closing the doors behind them with practiced ease.

The moment the doors shut, Pei Yun’s fingers flew to the Crown Prince’s belt.

But as soon as her hand touched it, a large hand stopped her. She heard the Crown Prince ask in confusion, "What’s gotten into you?"

Why? Because she suddenly wanted him.

But since he seemed unwilling, she wouldn’t push the matter. Just as Pei Yun was about to withdraw her hand, the man suddenly grasped it firmly.

She looked up to see his eyes smoldering with barely restrained hunger.

"This isn't something for you to handle."

The deep blue bed curtains swayed without a breeze, as garments were continuously tossed beyond the bed—until a crimson undergarment embroidered with peonies fluttered onto the broad cobalt-blue outer robe of a man, and only then did the drapes finally still.

Yet within the curtains, there was no silence.

Low, heavy gasps intertwined with uninhibited cries, especially the latter, which lacked the restraint of the past, now unrestrained and bold, achingly sensual.

The creaking bed barely stopped creaking the entire time.

After the passionate release, Pei Yun seemed utterly spent, limp as a rag in the Crown Prince’s arms.

Perhaps it was the firm, scorching heat of his body pressed against hers, but Pei Yun, who had been plagued by worry these past few days, finally found a sliver of security. Coupled with the reckless abandon just moments ago, a deep exhaustion washed over her, as if all her troubles had been cast aside. She allowed her eyes to close and sank into deep slumber.

When Li Zhangye heard the steady, even breaths of the woman in his arms, he froze briefly.

Pei Yun was different today—never before had she been so fervent and bold, almost as if she were using this to let loose.

Li Zhangye gently stroked Pei Yun’s satin-like dark hair, watching as she slept soundly without a care, then suddenly frowned.

He couldn’t help but feel...

that today, he had been just some tool she’d used and tossed aside.