Chapter 34

Chapter 34

After leaving the spacious area behind the mountain, Gu Lan's tears subsided. Even without a copper mirror, he knew that he couldn't return home just yet, or his mother would notice something was amiss.

Wiping away the traces of tears on his face, he carried the bamboo basket and walked towards the riverbank, his mood heavy.

He had no idea where the little gourd was thrown. He turned back to look, only to be overwhelmed by a sense of defeat. The gourd was given to him before the New Year; it had been so many days, so there was no chance of finding it now.

As he walked, he saw small stones and clumps of dirt on the ground. His gloominess led him to unconsciously kick these objects away with the tip of his shoe. A relatively smooth stone was kicked all the way to the riverbank before he stopped.

He squatted down and started digging with a hoe, uprooting grass roots and throwing them into the basket. In reality, he knew their connection wasn't deep. It was he who had been clingy, asking those outrageous questions.

If an unfamiliar person were to pester him, he wouldn't be happy either. With Pei Yan's notorious temperament, it was already good that he didn't fly off the handle.

Marriage was no trifling matter. It was understandable that Pei Yan was unwilling.

Gu Lan tried his best to console himself but still felt a tinge of sadness. That big, furry black dog was enormous, and when it lunged at him, he was genuinely terrified, envisioning the pain of its sharp teeth piercing his flesh. Thankfully, it hadn't actually bitten him.

Now that he had regained his composure, he realized that Pei Yan could have immediately called off the dog at that moment but didn't. Did he truly want the dog to bite him?

This realization brought him discomfort once more. Clutching the small hoe tightly, he remained motionless on his knees for a while. Eventually, he sniffled, his eyes reddened, and even the tip of his nose gained a slight pink tinge, looking pitifully vulnerable.

Unable to exert much strength in digging out the grass roots and fearing questions upon his return, Gu Lan labored with a listless attitude, swinging the small hoe half-heartedly as if on the verge of collapse.

Upon arriving back, apart from slightly reddened eyes, his expression returned to normal. When Bamboo Boy asked about his reddened eyes, he fabricated an excuse, claiming that while digging up the grass, some dirt had flown into his eyes, causing initial pain which he then exacerbated by rubbing them for a while. His lie seemed to convince Bamboo Boy.

In the small courtyard at the back of the mountain, Pei Yan stopped chopping wood after a large pile had accumulated. Leaning the axe against a log, he entered the main room to drink water.

Despite the pleasant weather, it was still not quite spring, and the coldness lingered. The tea would not stay warm for long and soon turned icy. Unbothered, he drank the chilled tea straight from the cup.

The eastern room stood with its door ajar, revealing sparse furnishings: a kang bed, a table, a chair, and a large wooden chest – the extent of its contents could be taken in at a glance.

On the table sat a small calabash tied with a red string, undisturbed for a long while.

With a stern expression, Pei Yan set down his teacup with a thud and went outside to stack firewood. Frustration burned within him; he felt as if he had been possessed, inexplicably hesitating and lowering his arm just as he was about to throw it away.

To discard it now would be tantamount to slapping oneself in the face. It was better to hollow out the gourd and use it as a vessel for holding wine or water, just as he had imagined when he kept it that day.

What if Gu Lan saw it? Every household has their own little gourds, all looking so similar; who could tell which one belongs to whom?

His jaw clenched, veins pulsing at his temples. It wouldn't matter if he recognized them; he wasn't a stranger to robbery. Who would dare question him for appropriating a small gourd?

Once the courtyard was tidied, Pei Yan straightened, brushing wood shavings off his clothes. After a bout of aimless pondering, he found some relief. His gaze fell once more into a calm stillness.

If Gu Lan hadn't been bothering him lately, he wouldn't have reacted this way. From now on, they were mere strangers. Why let their actions provoke him? It was more productive to focus on his work.

The mangy, long-haired dog lying in the corner, though fierce and mad, was perceptive. Sensing Pei Yan's unrest, it dared not make a sound, retreating quietly to the corner.

After Pei Yan finished his dinner, he tossed half a coarse bread roll towards the corner.

Watching the black dog snatch up the bun and return to its spot to eat, Pei Yan's expression remained unchanged, lost in thought about the past.

He first encountered the wild dog in the mountains. It had fled from a pack, baring its teeth at him with foaming saliva, either out of madness or desperation. Despite its small size then, it had dared to lunge at him, only to be kicked away.

When he descended the mountain, he noticed the dog had been following him. He ignored it, not even sparing a glance. If it dared to bite again, he'd put it down.

To his surprise, the wild dog had taken a liking to him, sleeping by the gate that night. The next day, it lingered at a distance as he left, attempting to wag its tail but showing signs of fear. Its eyes squinted in a fawning manner, ears folding back, believing it was ingratiating itself, yet appearing grotesque and unappealing.

Back then, the dog was emaciated, its fur dirtier and more matted than now. Scars and bloodstains marked its body from previous attacks. So repulsive was its appearance that villagers would chase it away upon sight. Eventually, it learned to keep its distance from the village.

Pei Yan turned and entered the house, no longer sparing the stray dog a glance. He himself had forgotten when he had allowed it inside.

It seemed to have been because of its guardianship. One late night, when he was already deeply asleep, the stray dog began barking fiercely at the entrance. Startled awake, he chased after it and discovered a figure fleeing into the darkness – an attempted thief in the dead of night.

From that day on, whenever he thought of it, he would toss the dog half a rough bread bun, or sometimes, if he had hunted birds in the mountains, he'd give it the leftover bones.

The stray dog was very measured, rarely approaching him. It would stay in the courtyard, and Pei Yan never paid it much attention – it was just a matter of providing some food. Besides, he disliked being followed constantly.

He kept his own quarters clean and his clothes laundered. As for the dirty and ugly stray dog, he didn't spare it a second thought. He didn't interact with it much anyway, so it was impossible for him to become attached.

*

Gu Lan's spirits were down for a month. Even though he tried to hide it, his occasional melancholy was noticeable, his brows furrowed with worry. Anyone who saw him could tell he was troubled. Miao Qiulian noticed this and tactfully asked if he was overly concerned about his upcoming marriage.

This excuse was better than the truth, so Gu Lan nodded along. After his mother comforted him, promising to find him a good match, he became even more gloomy.

Even now, he still felt a certain fear towards outsiders. They all appeared kind on the surface, but what lay beneath?

However, Pei Yan wasn't easy to deal with either. The day he heard about the loss of Little Gourd, he was genuinely upset.

Regardless of how he usually behaved, he wouldn't dare be so bold as to seek out a man and ask to be married. It was the first time in his life that he had thrown caution to the wind, caring not about his reputation.

He understood that others were not obligated to accept every attempt at favor, and he knew the logic behind it. Yet, he still found himself entangled in this dilemma until late February. As wild grass began to sprout, a hint of vibrant green timidly emerged from the ground, swiftly spreading across the hillsides, cloaking them in a rich emerald hue, gradually restoring some vitality.

With the arrival of warmer days, the wild grass seemed to thrive with an unexplained vigor. In just a couple of days, it blanketed everywhere, and after enduring the winter's scarcity of vegetables, the village women and men spent their days foraging for wild greens in the fields, hills, and riverbanks.

The wheat, too, responded to the spring's rejuvenation, transitioning from a dull green to a lively shade. The wild grass infiltrated the fields, making weeding an urgent task; otherwise, it would overtake the young wheat plants, compromising the harvest.

Early in the morning, under the dewy spring mist, Gu Tieshan and Miao Qiulian ventured into the fields, followed by Gu Lan and his siblings. Their trouser legs dampened by the dew, their cloth shoes stained with mud, they all longed for the weather to heat up so they could switch to sandals.

As the sun grew stronger, the labor became more arduous, prompting many in the fields to shed their outer garments.

When it was time to prepare lunch, Gu Lan, without being prompted, slung his bamboo basket over his back and bid his parents farewell before hastening home. Over the past month, he had visibly lost weight, and his complexion appeared somewhat listless; the joy in his eyes was no longer as abundant as before.

On his way, he encountered several fellow villagers returning to cook. He happened to meet Aunt Liu Guihua from next door, and they walked together. Before reaching the village, they crossed paths with Pei Yan, who also carried a basket full of grass. Due to his height, the overflowing basket revealed the wild greens protruding from its top.

Gu Lan didn't exhibit the same nervousness he once had when encountering Pei Yan; instead, a sense of resignation seemed to emanate from him.

Liu Guihua glanced at Pei Yan but, having nothing to say to him, remained silent.

Gu Lan shot a glance at Pei Yan, and he dared not speak a word, remaining equally silent.

Pei Yan's indifferent gaze swept over the two of them. With his long strides, he quickly left the others behind in just a few steps.

He seemed surprisingly composed, treating Gu Lan with the air of a stranger, which left Gu Lan's mouth agape, overwhelmed by a mixture of complicated emotions.

So it was indeed his own humiliation alone.

To Pei Yan, it was probably just getting rid of a nuisance. The more he thought about it, the more disheartened he became, appearing as if he had lost his soul.

Unaware of their history, Liu Guihua assumed Gu Lan was afraid of Pei Yan. She softly reassured him, "Oh, he's just got a fiery and peculiar temper. There's no need to be too scared. We haven't provoked him, and that's just how he is, but deep down, he's not a bad person."

Gu Lan mustered up some energy and replied, "I understand, Aunt Liu. It's just that I'm reminded of something else."

Knowing of Gu Lan's tumultuous romantic life, Liu Guihua refrained from commenting further, simply smiling and encouraging him to stay optimistic, as the saying goes, everything will work out eventually.

Gu Lan listened attentively, nodding along to her words. It would be impolite to ignore someone's well-intentioned advice.

Upon entering the house, he washed his hands while lost in thought. He couldn't pinpoint the source of his frustration, which led him to let out an anguished cry in the yard. Perhaps his sorrow and anger were too intense, as it triggered Er'hei, who barked loudly in the backyard. Hastily covering his mouth, Gu Lan feared that their neighbors might hear.

Inside him simmered a rage, reckless and confined, too reckless to be shared with others. Resigned, he strode into his room and threw himself onto the kang bed, face down. Eventually, he clamped his teeth on the corner of the quilt and rolled about the bed in disarray, vents of frustration bursting forth in a chaotic mess.

After the outburst, a sense of openness spread within me, replacing the former pent-up discomfort.

Having arranged the bedding, Gu Lan sat before the copper mirror to retie his hair. After rising with renewed vigor and determination, he gritted his teeth and rolled up his sleeves.

Considering Pei Yan had previously let his dog bite him, he was willing to let that incident slide and not hold it against him. However, with his birthday on the twenty-third of March approaching, and knowing that his mother would start seeking marriage prospects for him in April, he couldn't afford to remain disheartened. He needed to make another attempt; worse comes to worst, he would endure a few more embarrassments.

In the kitchen, he was chopping vegetables with such force that the rhythmic thuds echoed loudly, so much so that even the neighboring house could hear it, assuming he was mincing meat.

Though her intentions were noble, finding an opportune moment to confront Pei Yan proved challenging. Agricultural duties could not be neglected, and venturing out to forage for wild vegetables risked encounters with other villagers. Typically, she only ventured out accompanied by Brother Zhu, making the task all the more difficult.

It wasn't until early March when Qian Yi and his father, Old Second Qian, passed away that she saw a glimmer of opportunity.

In the village, it was customary for everyone to lend a hand when an elder passed, with physically demanding tasks like digging graves and carrying coffins left to the men. The women and children would then take on the farm work, while some married women and their husbands offered assistance at the grieving family's home.

Qian Yi's eldest sister was Cao Xiaoqiao, fortunately, she was just an elder sister. Though she meddled in the second branch's affairs, it was Qian Yi's wife and their mother who held the authority. No one heeded her, dismissing her words as mere nonsense.

Frustrated, Cao Xiaoqiao lashed out at the mourning hall, even drawing rebuke from the village head for her disruptive behavior. Eventually, her son Qian Feng had to physically drag her back home.

These events were all recounted to Gu Lan by his mother upon her return. As an unmarried young man, he was still considered a child and thus didn't have to assist; he stayed home to help with cooking, his mind already scheming to find Pei Yan.

These past few days, Pei Yan must have been occupied in the fields. Gu Lan could only wait until evening when Pei Yan returned home to cook, hoping to catch him then.

At noon, Gu Tieshan took a shovel and joined Zhou Ping to dig graves up the mountain. Miao Qiulian went to the Qian family, while Gu Lan Yu and Gu Lan Zhu weeded the fields. Thus, Gu Lan was left alone at home.

The courtyard gate stood wide open. Gu Lan was about to feed the livestock in the back when he passed through the front to close the gate. Unexpectedly, Pei Yan appeared from behind the village, and the two of them crossed paths.

Pei Yan still carried his bamboo basket, likely having finished his meal and heading to the fields to pull weeds.

All the strong, able-bodied men in the village were assisting with the grave digging and fortifying the tomb. Gu Lan was momentarily taken aback, remembering that for any village event, be it joyous or mournful, no one ever summoned Pei Yan. He always went about his business alone.

In this village, where every household had elders, if one didn't lend a hand when another's elder passed away, it was understood that when their own elders died, no one would come to their aid, and they would become the subject of ridicule.

Upon seeing those cold, weary eyes, Gu Lan realized that Pei Yan simply didn't care.