Chapter 79: Wasted a Mouth

Chapter 79: All Looks, No Substance

Li Zhangye paused briefly before answering, "Giving birth is agony for women. After you gave birth to Jin'er, I returned from official business and heard you tell your mother that you never wanted to bear children again. That was when I came up with the plan..."

Indeed, the arrangement of scheduled nights together had only begun nearly half a year after she gave birth to Jin'er.

Pei Yun vaguely remembered the incident the Crown Prince mentioned. Back then, her mother, Lady Zhou, had come to visit her. Having just endured her first childbirth—an ordeal that left her in immense pain—she had collapsed into her mother's arms and broke down sobbing, confessing that she no longer wished to bear children for the Crown Prince.

Her mother had immediately covered her mouth in alarm, warning her not to speak such nonsense lest others overheard.

But Pei Yun had been too distraught to care. Upset that the Crown Prince hadn’t even returned for the birth, she had muttered in her misery that it would be better if she couldn’t conceive at all.

Little did she know those words would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For nearly six years afterward, she never conceived again. She had assumed she was simply infertile—never suspecting that the Crown Prince had secretly instructed Imperial Physician Zheng to rig things.

If that were the case, then Chen'er’s arrival couldn’t have been an accident. Probably because she had failed to conceive again for so many years, the Empress Dowager pushed the Crown Prince to take a concubine. Forced into it, he must have allowed her to become pregnant once more.

In the period before she conceived Chen'er, the Crown Prince had indeed visited her more often—perhaps also instructing Imperial Physician Zheng to adjust their fertile days.

As for the child now in her womb...

In her previous life, she had conceived this child nearly three years after Chen'er’s death.

By then, her young nephew Pei Zhongxi had grown to about the same age Chen'er had been when he died. Pei Yun adored him. Whenever Jiang Lanqing brought him to the palace, she would insist on keeping him with her for a day or two, reluctant to let him go when the time came.

Perhaps the Crown Prince had noticed this. He once asked her if she wanted another child. At the time, she had put on a polite smile and replied, "Even if I were willing, it isn’t something I can decide."

Four months later, she had suddenly discovered she was pregnant.

So, in her previous life, the Crown Prince had allowed her to conceive that child to make her happy—which was why he had appeared overjoyed upon learning of her pregnancy.

But what he hadn’t known was that the child had indeed been her salvation, rekindling her hope in life. Yet, in the end, it had also become her death sentence—the very thing that killed her...

Pei Yun’s expression darkened. "Apart from this, does Your Highness have any other secrets you’ve kept from me?"

"There’s... one more thing," Li Zhangye hesitated before continuing. "Actually, the reason I couldn’t return when you were giving birth to Jin'er was because I had been severely injured while suppressing bandits. I was immobilized and had to recuperate for several days... That’s why... But I didn’t tell you the truth because I didn’t want you to worry..."

Pei Yun barked a bitter laugh.

He was afraid she’d worry—but not that she’d be heartbroken?

"Anything else?"

Seeing his wife gritted out the question through clenched teeth, Li Zhangye’s voice grew quieter. "That’s all for now..."

For now?

That surely meant there were more.

"And how does Your Highness intend to proceed from now on?" Pei Yun stared him down.

"I will always be truthful with you," Li Zhangye said firmly. Then, after a long pause, his brows furrowed with worry as he tentatively asked, "Have I... lost my chance?"

He was still hung up on that?

Pei Yun snorted. "Your Highness won’t be staying in the Linglang Palace tonight."

Li Zhangye’s expression stiffened. "Does that mean... in the future as well...?"

Seeing Pei Yun glare at him with her almond-shaped eyes, Li Zhangye refrained from saying more and simply muttered, "Rest early," before obediently leaving the hall. Before departing, he made sure to close the door behind him.

"Idiot," Pei Yun couldn’t help but mutter under her breath.

What’s the point of having a mouth if he can’t even say what he feels? Keeping it all bottled up inside—what good does that do?

Pei Yun silently vowed to herself that she would raise Jin'er and Chen'er properly, ensuring they wouldn’t turn out like their father—a tight-lipped man who bottled everything up.

In early June, Pei Yun personally sent Shu Yan off on her wedding day. Dressed in bright red bridal attire, Shu Yan knelt before her and bowed deeply twice before leaving the palace.

Parting with her longtime companion, Shu Mo was overwhelmed with sorrow, crying so hard she soaked two handkerchiefs with tears that refused to stop.

Watching the bridal sedan disappear into the distance, Pei Yun’s eyes welled up too. After all, no one would chatter in her ear anymore, sharing amusing tales from inside and outside the palace.

Yet everyone had their own journey—they couldn’t stay by her side forever. Pei Yun could only hope that Shu Yan would find the peaceful happiness she desired in the years to come.

With Shu Yan gone, one of her personal attendants was missing. When the Crown Prince asked if she wanted the palace staff to assign a new one, Pei Yun declined. Instead, after consulting Shu Mo, she selected a palace maid named Lian'er from the hall. In her past life, it had also been Lian'er who took over Shu Yan’s duties, serving by her side for several years.

By the end of July, the Duke of State Stabilization's residence held a 100-day celebration for the eldest son of the Pei family. Pei Yun attended as well, with the Crown Prince dispatching numerous guards to protect her.

Now four months pregnant, her baby bump was just starting to show, making it somewhat inconvenient when alighting from the carriage. Her mother, Lady Zhou, and others hurried over in a panic to support her, terrified she might trip or fall.

Among the guests, Pei Yun spotted Pei Qian. She hadn’t seen her in ages, having previously used her name to fish for information from Qiu Ci.

Given her pregnancy, she couldn’t hold her little nephew, so Pei Qian reached out to take Pei Zhongxi from Jiang Lanqing’s arms. Seeing how plump and adorable Pei Zhongxi had grown, Pei Yun’s eyes lit up—she was utterly smitten.

Noticing her reaction, Pei Yun bent slightly and asked, "I heard your mother-in-law has been hounding you—aren’t you anxious?"

Pei Qian smiled faintly and shook her head. "No, I’m not."

Pei Yun teased her, "What, are you putting Shao Duo to the test to see if he’ll abandon you if you remain childless for too long?"

At these words, Pei Qian’s expression shifted slightly, and she pressed her lips together, smiling faintly.

Pei Yun hadn’t expected to guess correctly. After a moment of thought, she said earnestly, "Qian'er, are you merely testing him, or have you actually fallen for him but fear getting hurt if you give your heart away?"

Pei Qian lowered her gaze, lost in thought, but when she looked up again, her smile deepened. "Elder Sister jokes too much. You know I’ve always been after his family’s status and prospects. If he weren’t the fourth son of the Marquis of Jian De’s household, I doubt I’d have spared him a second glance."

Her words left Pei Yun feeling somewhat unsettled.

Pei Qian seemed determined to convince herself that she was nothing more than a mercenary social climber—as if only by doing so could she protect herself from getting hurt.

Having been suppressed by her mother, Wang Shi, since childhood, with a weak father and brothers, the only support she had was the Duke of State Stabilization's household. Yet, technically, she was only a child of the second branch. Even now, married into a prestigious family, she lacked a sense of security, afraid she’d be thrown away one day.

But no one’s heart is made of stone. Shao Duo treated her well—it was impossible for her not to feel something. Yet she was too clear-headed, knowing emotions could wound, so she held back, unwilling and refusing to admit she had fallen.

"Why must you keep telling yourself that? Follow your heart—otherwise, isn’t it exhausting?"

Pei Qian seemed struck by these words, her eyes instantly moistening.

No one had ever spoken to her like this before.

At the Marquis of Jian De’s residence, she had to stay alert every day, dealing with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. Returning to the Duke of State Stabilization's household, she couldn’t voice her grievances to her father. Though her aunt and sisters-in-law were kind, there was still a barrier that prevented her from truly opening up.

She was tired—truly tired.

With a soft smile, she murmured, "Thank you, Elder Sister."

Pei Zhongxi was still young—a three-month-old baby in need of sleep. After being passed around among the guests, he grew drowsy and was lulled to sleep by Jiang Lanqing before being placed in the rocking cradle that Lady Zhou had finally managed to dig out.

Pei Yun had initially looked down upon this cradle, but now seeing Pei Zhongxi sleeping soundly within it, she couldn’t help but covet it. She even made a deal with her sister-in-law Jiang Lanqing, saying that once the child in her womb was born, she would borrow the cradle to soak up some of its luck.

The Crown Prince was tied up with urgent matters and couldn’t come, but he was deeply concerned about her health. The night before, he kept reminding her to return to the palace as early as possible.

Shu Mo took these words to heart. Seeing the sky gradually darken, as if rain was imminent, she repeatedly whispered in Pei Yun’s ear, urging her to return to the palace.

Lian Er helped her into the carriage. After about as long as it takes an incense stick to burn, rain suddenly pattered loudly on the carriage roof—the rain came down hard and fast.

Pei Yun lifted the carriage curtain and glanced outside, only to catch sight of a familiar face beneath a large tree.

It was Zhao Shi, the remarried wife of Liu Sanlang. It seemed she was taking shelter from the rain.

However, the tree couldn’t fully block the rain, and the maid behind her was anxiously using her hands to shield her. Yet Zhao Shi appeared indifferent, staring blankly at the gloomy sky, lost in thought.

Pei Yun had initially intended to ignore her, but after some thought, she called for the carriage to stop and instructed Lian Er to bring an umbrella to Zhao Shi.

When she lifted the curtain again, she saw Zhao Shi’s surprised expression upon receiving the umbrella. Zhao Shi then turned toward the carriage and curtsied respectfully.

Pei Yun nodded slightly in return before slowly lowering the curtain.

What happened afterward could be dealt with later. Besides, how Zhao Shi treated Liu Sanlang was none of her concern. She had done this solely to build good karma for her unborn child.

Two weeks later, Zhao Shi returned the umbrella through a messenger, along with a lotus-patterned silk pouch embroidered with Shu embroidery as a token of gratitude for the umbrella.

Pei Yun recalled that in her previous life, Zhao Shi had also gifted her such a pouch for some reason.

Zhao Shi hailed from Shu, and though her maternal family was a prominent clan in Bashu, it still paled in comparison to the capital’s Liu family. People had wondered why the Liu family chose Zhao Shi as Liu Sanlang’s second wife.

Shu Mo presented the pouch to her. Pei Yun glanced at it—Zhao Shi’s craftsmanship was exquisite, the embroidery stunning. She grew even more perplexed. How could someone so grateful possibly...

Pei Yun had never been fond of wearing pouches, and after the incident with Noble Consort Shu, she dared not even touch it. She instructed Shu Mo to simply store it away somewhere.

Compared to her previous life, Pei Yun’s pregnancy in this life was exceptionally peaceful and serene.

By mid-August, Princess Consort Cheng had given birth. Noble Consort Gao and the Empress Dowager had initially worried that Cheng Siyuan, frail as she seemed, might struggle during labor. Yet, to their surprise, after her labor began, she downed two big bowls of ginseng congee and smoothly delivered a lucky pair—a boy and a girl.

Though the daughter was born first, Prince Cheng insisted that the younger son be the elder brother, declaring that the fifth imperial grandson would protect the second imperial granddaughter in the future.

Cheng Siyuan, holding her clearly heartier daughter, couldn’t help but laugh, saying it was unclear who would protect whom in the future.

These details were filled in by Li Shutang. Li Shutang’s coming-of-age ceremony was approaching in September, but Pei Yun, due to her condition, couldn’t attend. Feeling regretful, Li Shutang often visited Pei Yun instead.

Though unable to attend, Pei Yun specially prepared a gift for her—a gold filigree hairpin adorned with rubies, featuring hollow-carved twin phoenixes and peonies.

Unlike the rushed affair of her previous life, this time, Noble Consort Gao personally arranged Li Shutang’s hair during the ceremony, while the Empress Dowager bestowed the ceremonial hairpiece upon her.

The next morning, Li Shutang arrived at Linglang Palace wearing light makeup and a beautiful red dress, the hairpin Pei Yun gave her adorning her hair. Whether it was due to the ceremony or not, Pei Yun felt as though Li Shutang had shed her childishness overnight, every move she made now radiating princess-like poise.

She had entered the palace as a mere five- or six-year-old girl—now, she had grown up.

Pei Yun felt a pang of melancholy. Would she someday watch her daughter grow up and marry?

The thought amused her. She chuckled at the thought. She hadn’t even given birth yet, and already she was thinking so far ahead.

By the end of September, Zhao Yi Meng was confirmed to be pregnant.

For the first time in sixteen years, Emperor Qingzhen’s concubines had another pregnancy.

Overjoyed, Emperor Qingzhen immediately elevated Zhao Yi Meng to Imperial Concubine Meng and gave rewards to all the palace staff in her quarters.

However, that very night, the Crown Prince was ordered to kneel as punishment outside the imperial study for a full hour after offending Emperor Qingzhen.

Pei Yun had been wondering why the Crown Prince hadn't come for dinner yet when Sheng Xi hurried in to report the matter.

Li Jin and Li Chen were still seated in the hall. Li Jin, nearly ten years old and bright for his age, understood that his father had angered the Emperor. He looked at his mother with nervous uncertainty.

Pei Yun steadied herself, knowing it wasn't too serious—had Sheng Xi not reported it, she might've even forgotten this incident from her past life.

"It's nothing. You two go ahead and eat. I'll wait for your father."

Li Jin hesitated but glanced at his clueless younger brother and nodded. When the dishes were served, he ate little, mostly watching Chen'er eat. After the meal, he took Chen'er to the side hall, not wanting to bother his parents further.

Pei Yun sat in the outer hall at first but eventually grew too restless and went out to the corridor.

Shu Mo quickly fetched a cloak for her, urging, "Your Highness, you are with child. You should eat something to keep your strength up."

Pei Yun glanced toward the moon gate and nodded. She had little appetite, still full from her afternoon snacks—otherwise, she wouldn’t have waited this long. But the baby needed to be fed.

Before she could turn back, footsteps sounded outside. Raising her eyes, she met the Crown Prince’s gaze as he entered.

Though winter had not yet arrived, the night wind carried a chill. Seeing Pei Yun standing outside, Li Zhangye frowned and strode forward.

"Why are you standing here? Go inside quickly—don’t catch cold."

He hurriedly guided her in with an arm around her, but Pei Yun subtly observed him. Despite kneeling outside the study for so long, he showed no sign of distress, only a hint of tiredness in his expression.

After seating Pei Yun on the daybed, he sat down himself. Lian'er brought a basin of hot water, and the Crown Prince wetted a towel to wipe his face and hands before asking, "Have you eaten?"

Pei Yun shook her head. "I didn't feel hungry, so I thought to wait for Your Highness."

"Why wait? You’re carrying a child—you must eat even if you're not hungry, or you'll wear yourself out."

He glanced at Shu Mo, who understood. The earlier dishes had gone cold, so she had them reheated and added a bowl of hot soup to the table.

As the Crown Prince served her a bowl of lotus root and pork rib soup, urging her to drink more, Pei Yun felt something was off.

For him to be punished with kneeling, it must've been serious. Yet he behaved as if nothing had happened.

It was precisely because of this that she never got worried—always assuming it truly was nothing major. In her past life, she hadn’t even known why he was punished.

Not wanting to ruin his meal, she kept quiet. Only after the servants cleared the table did she finally ask, "Why did Your Highness provoke His Majesty and end up kneeling for so long?"

At her words, Li Zhangye lowered his gaze, his expression dimming.

"With Imperial Concubine Meng’s pregnancy, His Majesty was so delighted that he gifted her… my mother’s keepsake."

Pei Yun was surprised. She had imagined countless possibilities but never expected it to involve the late Empress.

During Empress Xiaoren’s lifetime, she and the Crown Prince had been distant—hardly speaking when in the same room. Throughout her mourning period, he had not shed a single tear.

Yet he had dared to defy Emperor Qingzhen over her keepsake.

"Was it something valuable?" Pei Yun asked.

"No. Just an ordinary peachwood hairpin."

A slight, bitter smile crossed his lips as if recalling something.

"But it was one His Majesty carved for her with his own hands… before he became emperor."