Chapter 58 Died of Grievance

Chapter 58: Wronged to Death

In the evening, A Wu went through her personal items, checking her possessions, when she inadvertently came across the honeyed pills from the past—the ones Fu Tai had given her, which she had never used.

Now, holding the reed-paper wrapping, she suddenly recalled all her intimate moments with the Jingxi Emperor.

That day, she had deliberately provoked the Crown Prince, but he had indeed left her craving more.

The older man had good stamina and considerable skill. Even at his most intense, he maintained his composed bearing—his solemn, reserved expression clashing starkly with the fervor of his movements. For some reason, this only made her want him more desperately.

The rare moments when he lost control and emotions leaked through were things she savored, lingering in her memory endlessly.

Perhaps in this regard, she had a bit of a wicked inclination. When Lu Yunjian begged her, pressured her, or when the Crown Prince looked at her with puppy-dog eyes, she found it dull.

But him—just like that—was just right!

...Still, thinking about it was pointless. She would have nothing in the future—neither the important nor the mundane, neither the restrained nor the unrestrained.

She let out a soft sigh, realizing that she, too, would join the ranks of the palace women left to their empty chambers. Though it wasn’t a big deal, she couldn’t shake a little despondency.

She ought to plan ahead. Perhaps it was time to make use of this—it might prove useful.

So she bathed first, and afterward, she began applying scented balms, coating her entire body to keep her skin soft and silky.

Then she took out one of the honeyed pills, rinsed it with clean water, and carefully inserted it.

Once it was in place, she lay quietly on her back, waiting for the pill to dissolve gradually inside. A tingling, swelling sensation spread, suffusing her entire body—neither wholly pleasant nor entirely uncomfortable.

Restlessly, she tugged at the thin crimson gauze wrapped around her, pulling it open, but this only deepened her emptiness, as if something vital were missing. Her mind wandered hazily through countless faces before finally settling on the austere, commanding face of the Jingxi Emperor.

The moment that face appeared, her desire burned hotter.

So she imagined the Jingxi Emperor in her mind, digging her nails into the brocade bedding, biting her lip, and unconsciously arching her slender waist, letting her body rub against the soft silk to ease the tension.

At some point, she must have made a sound, startling the palace maid, who came in to check on her. Struggling to keep her voice steady, she murmured, "It's nothing... just a dream. You may leave."

The maid, hearing the husky tenderness in her tone, flushed and hurriedly retreated.

A long while later, when the sensations finally faded, she sat up and let out a satisfied sigh.

In the depths of the palace, who knew what the future held? That man would probably never bed her again.

So... life without a man was just fine!

************

If there was one thing troubling A Wu these days, it was running into Consort Kang.

As the "only consort to bear a child" in the harem, Consort Kang considered herself more accomplished than even the Empress. She had always disdained her sister consorts, and due to past grievances, she harbored deep resentment—especially toward A Wu. Now that A Wu had lost favor, she seized every opportunity to mock and belittle her.

But A Wu paid little mind to the occasional taunts. She just needed to toughen up.

Who could have guessed that on this particular day, after attending a lecture, A Wu was about to return when rain began to fall—not just rain, but a mix of rain and snow, with icy needles stabbing down as the wind howled.

Yi Lan peeked outside and immediately recoiled. "It's freezing out there! And it's raining!"

A Wu glanced around. None of the usual attendants were present today. "Let's wait a bit. Maybe it’ll stop soon."

So the mistress and maid stood waiting. Soon, people began passing by—among them, Consort Kang.

Consort Kang rode in a palanquin, its exterior lacquered red and carved with phoenixes, adorned with colorful brocade. Inside, a padded daybed offered every comfort.

She deliberately signaled for the palanquin to halt, lifted the red curtain, and said with a smile, "Oh, who is this? If it isn’t Noble Lady Ning!"

A Wu stepped forward to pay her respects.

Consort Kang smiled and said, "In this freezing weather, Your Ladyship stands here. Don’t catch your death out here; you should return early."

As she spoke, she glanced outside. "This rain won’t stop anytime soon."

A Wu ignored her. After all, they didn’t meet every day, so she simply lowered her head and pretended not to understand.

Seeing her like this, Consort Kang found it rather dull and chuckled. "You’ll learn soon enough how things work here. Did you think your pretty face would make you untouchable?"

With a scoff, she let the curtain fall, signaling the palanquin to move on.

Just then, a palace maid nearby spoke up, "Your Ladyship, look over there!"

A Wu blinked in surprise and turned to see someone holding a narrow-brimmed green gauze umbrella walking toward them.

From the figure and attire, A Wu recognized it was Fu Tai and immediately waited there.

Consort Kang’s palanquin, noticing this, also came to a halt.

By the time Fu Tai approached, Consort Kang had already lifted the curtain and greeted him warmly, "Eunuch Fu, what brings you out in this weather?"

A Wu’s eyes widened in surprise. After all, Consort Kang was an imperial consort, a proper concubine of the emperor and the mother of Princess De Ning. Yet she spoke to Fu Tai with such familiarity?

She even faintly sensed that Consort Kang had deliberately waited for Fu Tai—was she actually sucking up to him?

Fu Tai merely exchanged a brief greeting with Consort Kang before walking over to A Wu. He quickly shielded her from the rain with his umbrella and then clicked his tongue in concern. "Your Ladyship, what’s the matter? It’s raining—you mustn’t catch a chill."

A Wu shifted guiltily. "I didn’t bring an umbrella."

In truth, she didn’t have one. Langhua Palace had no umbrellas, and she wasn’t sure why.

Fu Tai understood immediately. "Your Ladyship may not know, but umbrellas aren’t permitted in the palace—they’re not to be used casually. That’s why none of the palace ladies carry them. You’ll want to keep a broad-rimmed rain hat and a Hangzhou silk raincoat for such occasions."

A Wu’s eyes widened in understanding. "Ah, I see..."

The palace was nothing but rules, and unless one had experienced them, it was easy to be unaware. Asking others didn’t always help, as they might not recall everything at once. Since entering the palace, she had never encountered rain and thus hadn’t known.

Fu Tai then took out a white cloth pouch, retrieving a brand-new raincoat embroidered with a python and dragon design, and handed it to A Wu along with a delicate bamboo-framed silk rain hat in the Goryeo style.

He smiled and said, "Your Ladyship, please use these. Be careful not to let the wind blow on you and make you ill."

A Wu’s throat tightened with gratitude, and she thanked him profusely.

Meanwhile, Consort Kang watched from the side, her smile turning stiff. "Eunuch Fu certainly has his hands full!"

Only then did Fu Tai turn to Consort Kang with a smile. "Earlier, when this servant arrived, I saw Your Ladyship speaking with Noble Lady Ning. Should Noble Lady Ning have given any offense..."

Consort Kang’s smile froze, and she frowned, staring at Fu Tai.

Fu Tai remained respectfully bent at the waist, smiling, yet despite his humble posture, he radiated quiet authority that commanded fear.

A Wu realized with a start—Consort Kang was afraid of Fu Tai.

The other consorts were too.

Ever since Fu Tai had stood there, any passing servants all dropped into quick bows. Paragraph break

A Wu was astonished, and in her astonishment, she recalled what Consort Hui had mentioned earlier—that Fu Tai had once been the Seal-holding Eunuch, held real power, and only stepped down due to declining health. Now, he only attended the emperor.

Just then, the wind picked up and rain lashed down. Fu Tai chuckled and said, "Consort Kang, the weather is chilly. Your Ladyship should return to your palace early to avoid catching a cold."

Consort Kang flushed slightly but nodded nonetheless. "Eunuch Fu, please."

Soon, Consort Kang’s sedan chair set off, rumbling over the rain-slicked stones as it departed.

After this encounter, A Wu finally understood—she had truly been foolhardy as a calf facing a tiger. Even Consort Kang feared Fu Tai, yet she had brushed him off.

—Consort Hui had warned her before, and though she had noticed, she hadn’t taken it to heart.

Now, having been neglected by the emperor, she realized Fu Tai’s significance.

Not daring to act presumptuously, she lowered her eyes and said quietly, "Eunuch Fu, the weather is so cold, yet you’ve troubled yourself to bring me an umbrella. I fear you might catch a chill."

Fu Tai studied the caution in A Wu’s expression. "Noble Lady Ning, you may simply call this old servant Fu Tai. When you address me as 'Eunuch Fu,' my heart trembles—I can’t help but worry you’re scheming something to make trouble for me."

His tone nearly made A Wu laugh, though she managed to hold it back.

Biting her lip, she said, "I didn’t know better before. Eunuch Fu is much older than I and serves by the emperor’s side. I ought to show you respect."

Besides, Eunuch Fu had been so kind to her. That night when she had been terrified, it was he who had stayed by her side.

Remembering that made her eyes sting.

Fu Tai sighed softly. "My lady, there’s no need for you to respect me. When you next see His Majesty, just give a little ground, speak a few gentle words. We servants will feel at ease then, and won’t have to walk on eggshells."

Fu Tai felt he was born to serve, yet he fussed like a matchmaker.

A Wu hadn’t expected such words from him. Her eyes reddened, and she muttered, hurt, "It’s the emperor who ignores me, not the other way around!"

Hearing this, Fu Tai turned his head slightly, glancing into the distance.

Following his gaze, A Wu spotted an imperial dragon carriage.

It was unmistakably the Jingxi Emperor’s—adorned with a gilded dragon head, its beaded panels gleaming wetly in the rain, clearly a lavish and priceless display—yet such extravagance was wasted hanging outside!

She hadn’t expected to encounter the Jingxi Emperor so abruptly after not seeing him for over ten days.

She hesitated—should she approach to pay her respects, or pretend she hadn’t noticed?

But... through the rain, she could clearly see the carriage’s curtains drawn shut. Evidently, the person inside hadn’t even glanced her way.

Her heart ached with a bitter ache.

Truthfully, she didn’t care that he ignored her, leaving her in the cold. She could live without his favor—others managed just fine without the emperor’s affection, didn’t they?

But now, knowing she was here, he refused to even look at her. The thought filled her with a bitter ache.

And yet, he had sent Fu Tai to bring her a raincoat...

A Wu’s heart turned icy. She bowed slightly to Fu Tai and murmured, "Eunuch Fu, I shall return now. Any later, and dinner will be cold."

Fu Tai hurriedly replied, "Of course, of course, my lady. Do return quickly and take care not to catch cold. This servant is to blame for delaying you. Have something hot to drink when you get back."

He then instructed two palace maids to look after her carefully.

A Wu thanked Fu Tai once more before taking her leave.

With the raincoat and rain hat, she was somewhat more comfortable. She made her way hurriedly back to Langhua Palace with her two maids, checking the time and thinking to get their meal in time. However, when the maids went, they’d already missed their chance.

They only managed to get fried millet cakes with dates, sorghum porridge, and some fruit-filled pastries.

A Wu couldn’t help but feel annoyed: "Are they trying to starve me? Not even letting me eat properly?"

The maids naturally tried to console her, saying she should put up with it for now since they were late. A Wu had no choice but to eat the date cakes, which actually tasted decent, though they were a bit cold. She managed to eat them with some hot tea.

Even after eating, she didn’t feel much better—just enough to keep hunger at bay. After a quick wash and some more hot tea, she prepared to rest.

Yet, she still felt a weight in her chest. Lying there, she thought about how, even in the imperial palace, she couldn’t even eat properly, and sadness welled up inside her. The wind howled and rain lashed down outside, making her want to cry even more.

**********

After giving A Wu the raincoat and hat, Fu Tai returned to inform the Jingxi Emperor.

Once finished, he ventured to say, "Noble Lady Ning looked so pitiful, her eyes welled up with tears, glancing at Your Majesty with such grievance. Surely she must be longing for Your Majesty."

The Jingxi Emperor’s expression was cool. "Her? Longing for me?"

Fu Tai quickly replied, "Of course she is! This lowly one observed Noble Lady Ning has grown thinner—her chin is even pointier now. Surely it’s from pining for Your Majesty!"

The Jingxi Emperor frowned, recalling carefully. "Thinner? From afar, she seemed fuller in the face than before."

Fu Tai said, "Your Majesty only saw her from a distance. If you looked closer, you’d see how frail Noble Lady Ning is… How could anyone not pity her?"

The Jingxi Emperor sneered. "Serves her right."

Fu Tai sighed. "Your Majesty!"

The Jingxi Emperor turned his head, peering through the glass-paned window at the rain and snow outside. He caught sight of that slender figure, her deep blue raincoat whipping about in the wind.

His eyes darkened as he said thickly, "She’s never been deprived of anything. Why is she so thinly clad?"

Fu Tai said, "Indeed, so thinly clad, and standing in the rain for so long just now..."

The Jingxi Emperor said coldly, "What did you say to her earlier? Knowing it’s cold, why did you keep talking? If she falls ill now, whose fault is it?"

Fu Tai: "What?"

He felt so wronged, so innocent. He had only wanted the Jingxi Emperor, who was likely watching from the carriage, to take a few more glances at Noble Lady Ning!

This stalemate couldn’t go on forever. Maybe if His Majesty saw her enough, his heart would soften, and they’d reconcile.

Who knew the Jingxi Emperor would instead blame him?

Being a servant was truly a no-win situation!

The Jingxi Emperor said indifferently, "What did she say?"

Knowing the Emperor wanted to hear, Fu Tai deliberately replied, "Not much. Just that she was heartsick, thinking of Your Majesty day and night. She also said Your Majesty ignores her, and she doesn’t know what to do. Noble Lady Ning is still young—she doesn’t understand the intricacies of the palace, nor how to seek favor. She only knows how to brood in misery, crying every night."

The Jingxi Emperor cut in sharply, "Enough."

Fu Tai flinched.

The Jingxi Emperor said, "What, do you pity her? Should I send you to Langhua Palace to guard her door? You can go tomorrow!"

Fu Tai immediately dropped to his knees, weeping. "Your Majesty, please spare your imperial well-being! Fu Tai dares not speak anymore!"

The wound from the Crown Prince’s attack had been concealed, carefully nursed until it had just begun to heal these past few days. He couldn’t risk another setback now!

The Jingxi Emperor uttered two heavy words: "Move out!"

Fu Tai: "Yes..."

The imperial dragon carriage arrived at the Empress Dowager’s Palace of Eternal Longevity, where the Jingxi Emperor kept her company in conversation.

Regarding the recent conflict between father and son, the Empress Dowager naturally had some complaints, though most were directed at the Crown Prince. She felt that while her son the Emperor might have acted recklessly, it was just over a woman—how could the Crown Prince go so far as to defy his father? Such defiance!

Now that her son had come to visit, she couldn’t resist giving a few reminders.

As the Jingxi Emperor sipped his tea, he casually remarked, "Has Noble Lady Ning been coming to pay her respects to you recently, Mother?"

Empress Dowager: "She has, coming with Consort Hui. She pays her respects and slips away, just ticking the box here."

The Jingxi Emperor merely responded with an "Oh."

The Empress Dowager studied her son. "What’s the matter? Missing her?"

The Jingxi Emperor turned his face away, his expression indifferent. "Not really."

The Empress Dowager chuckled. "Honestly, how old are you? Still sulking like this? If you were seventeen or eighteen, I wouldn’t say anything, but you’re not a child anymore. That delicate little lady, tender as a spring willow—you bent over backwards to bring her into the palace, only to leave her neglected. What’s the meaning of this?"

The Jingxi Emperor’s lips thinned slightly. "Mother, I shall take my leave now."

Empress Dowager: "Seize the day—"

The Jingxi Emperor: "Must you say more, Mother?"

Empress Dowager: "..."

He’s grown, yet still throws a tantrum over a few words!

After leaving the Palace of Eternal Longevity, the Jingxi Emperor returned to Fengtian Hall, purposely rerouting the carriage past Langhua Hall (Hall of Blossoming Splendor), where A Wu resided.

Though Fu Tai dared not bring it up again, he naturally understood his master’s thoughts and deliberately slowed the carriage.

In the dreary wind and rain, the palace lanterns outside each hall appeared hazy. The Jingxi Emperor strained to see over the high walls of Langhua Hall but could discern nothing inside, only faint flickers of light.

Lowering his gaze, the Jingxi Emperor murmured, "Go and ask if Noble Lady Ning has turned in for the night."

Fu Tai, receiving the order, hurried to inquire personally.

The Jingxi Emperor said sternly, "Don’t let her know I’m asking. Make up some excuse."

Fu Tai: "..."

He paused, caught between a laugh and a sigh. It seemed that in matters of love, regardless of temperament, age, or status, all men and women became a bit more foolish.

Even a proud emperor had to swallow his pride.

Chirpily, he replied, "Understood."

But naturally, he immediately gave away the Jingxi Emperor’s secret.

...

Upon returning, he reported respectfully, "Your Majesty, Noble Lady Ning has gone to bed."

The Jingxi Emperor: "Back to Fengtian Hall."

Fu Tai, however, said, "But I heard that Noble Lady Ning went to bed hungry..."

Jingxi Emperor: "Hungry?"

Fu Tai sighed: "It's said that because of the rain, she couldn't return in time and missed the meal hour. She only ate some cold leftovers. Someone as pampered as Noble Lady Ning couldn’t bear it—she forced down a few bites before collapsing into bed in tears..."

The Jingxi Emperor listened, knowing full well that Fu Tai was exaggerating, but it was likely true that she hadn’t had a proper dinner.

He then ordered, "Tell the imperial kitchen to prepare a few hot dishes—whatever's quick, but it must be freshly made—and deliver them to Langhua Hall while still warm."

Fu Tai: "Yes!"

The imperial kitchen operated on strict schedules; once meal hours passed, the stoves were banked, and they rarely reopened. Only an imperial decree could make them prepare hot dishes now.

Fu Tai naturally dared not delay and immediately sent subordinates to carry out the order.

The Jingxi Emperor leaned back in his seat, eyes half-closed, recalling the scene of the Crown Prince holding her—how delicate and lovely she was, nestled in the prince’s arms. The young pair seemed so well-matched, while he became the tyrant who tore them apart.

He also remembered her tear-filled eyes, the unmistakable worry in her gaze when she looked at the Crown Prince—completely unconcealed.

His heart turned cold, and he rasped, "Prepare my carriage."

Fu Tai suppressed a sigh but still replied, "At once, Your Majesty."

Just then, he saw the gates of Langhua Hall open—a maid stepped out with a silk lantern, followed by—

He hurriedly said, "Your Majesty, Noble Lady Ning!"

Hearing this, the Jingxi Emperor abruptly looked up.

Indeed, it was her. Her hair was carelessly pinned up with a white jade carved hairpin, and she wore only a crimson short jacket and pomegranate-hued skirt. The wind pressed the thin fabric against her slender frame, making her appear even more fragile, like mist curling off mountain peaks.

She clearly knew he was there. Her rain-dampened gaze found his through the rain and mist—a glance both fleeting and fog-softened, soft and elusive.

That look struck like flint—suddenly, all the tangled emotions of bitterness, sweetness, and pain exploded within the Jingxi Emperor.

He surged to his feet and stepped down from the carriage.

But A Wu made to slip back inside.

The Jingxi Emperor leaped down nimbly, his imperial boots splashed on the wet stone slabs as he strode to the palace gates.

Just as the doors were about to close, he wedged his arm against them.

A Wu startled, lifting wide eyes to him.

Amid the rain and mist, her rain-wet eyes held both naivete and invitation.

The Emperor's chest tightened. He reached out, pulling her into his arms.

A Wu, equal parts wounded and defiant, struggled: "Release me this instant!"

She'd meant to tease him, yes, but after succeeding, she still wanted to maintain some dignity. That was all!

The Jingxi Emperor tightened his grip, his voice low: "None of that."

As if she'd do anything but!

A Wu pushed him away: "Let go! I don’t want Your Majesty to hold me anymore. You don’t even want me—let go, let go!"

She was genuinely furious, struggling with all her might, but to the Jingxi Emperor, it only made her all the more irresistible.

He swept her up into his arms without hesitation: "Not out here. We’ll make a scene."

Caught off guard by the sudden lift, A Wu resisted, thrashing in his arms, but the Jingxi Emperor clamped his arms around her waist like iron bands.

Unable to break free, she twisted helplessly: "Go away! Don’t come here anymore!"

The Jingxi Emperor felt her soft, boneless body squirming restlessly in his embrace, and fire rushed through his veins.

Carrying her, he strode into the bedchamber. His abrupt appearance startled the palace eunuchs and maids, who hurried to part curtains and open doors.

Without slowing, the Jingxi Emperor stepped past the screen and laid her down on the brocaded bed.

His strong fingers gripped her slender waist as he leaned close to her ear and murmured, "Had enough?"

A Wu was suddenly enveloped by the familiar, imperial scent of ambergris.

This was the past, a memory—what she’d thought gone forever, now abruptly returned.

She froze for a moment, then let out a sudden, wailing cry.