Chapter 88 I Don’t Want Yours

Chapter 88: I Don’t Want Yours

A lavish spread of dishes, all of A Wu’s former favorites, was laid out before her, and she ate eagerly.

The Jingxi Emperor watched her, equally amused.

However, he dared not let her eat too much. The imperial physician had warned that her stomach was weak and might have trouble digesting rich food.

After the meal, the palace maids styled A Wu’s hair and dressed her.

The Jingxi Emperor’s gaze lingered on her face as she curiously examined the dazzling array of jewels and pearls, touching each one with wide-eyed curiosity.

Jingxi Emperor: “Do you like them?”

A Wu nodded: “Mm.”

She asked curiously: “Are these all yours?”

Jingxi Emperor: “They belong to you.”

A Wu turned to the bronze mirror and touched the string of pearls dangling by her temple again, clearly delighted.

Her eyes lit up as she sighed contentedly: “I had no idea I was this pretty!”

Hearing this, the Jingxi Emperor laughed softly.

The way she spoke was just like the her he remembered.

Smiling, he reached out and took her by the hand: “Come, I’ll take you to see the gardens outside.”

A Wu: “Outside? Are we going shopping?”

Jingxi Emperor: “We can’t just go out shopping, but in a few days, when I have time, I’ll take you to the villa. There’s water, grass, flowers, and all kinds of delicious food. You can do whatever you please.”

A Wu looked excited, but then, abruptly, she remembered something and demanded: “So when are you sending me home? I want to go home.”

The Jingxi Emperor’s smile faltered.

She would suddenly remember home at times, clamoring to return, and once the thought took hold, she’d throw a fit until he spent great effort coaxing her.

Now, he had no choice but to soothe her: “A Wu, you’re already my wife. A wife belongs with her husband—”

A Wu immediately protested: “No, I’m not!”

The Jingxi Emperor stopped and looked at her.

She tilted her head stubbornly: “I don’t remember, so it doesn’t count!”

Jingxi Emperor insisted: “But you are.”

A Wu: “You’re way too old for me. I don’t want someone old—I want someone young, I want—”

She trailed off, suddenly afraid to continue, for the man beside her was staring at her, his light brown eyes turned icy.

A Wu shrank back, suddenly nervous.

The Jingxi Emperor softened his tone, coaxing gently: “Go ahead, A Wu. Tell me—who do you want?”

After a hesitant pause, she finally blurted: “You promised me! You promised to bring me Ye Han! Where’s Ye Han?”

Jingxi Emperor: "I did promise you, but I never said I'd hand him over right now."

As he spoke, he looked at her curiously: "Does Ye Han mean that much to you?"

A Wu gave a nod: "Ye Han is A Wu's betrothed—we’re officially engaged. A Wu will marry him and perform the wedding bows."

Jingxi Emperor studied her shy expression: "You like him very much?"

A Wu: "Brother Ye Han treats A Wu the best."

Jingxi Emperor curled his lips into a faint smile: "Oh yeah? How? By feeding you fish?"

A Wu nodded: "And shrimp as well."

Jingxi Emperor: "So you’ve kissed him?"

A Wu looked bewildered for a moment before asking: "Kiss? Kiss where?"

Seeing her dazed expression, his heart churned with countless emotions.

He extended a slender, immaculate fingertip and lightly pressed it against her lips: "Right here. What else would I mean?"

A Wu, however, looked aggrieved and confused: "Why are you asking me this?"

The Emperor held her in a silent stare.

A Wu pushed his hand away: "Never!"

Jingxi Emperor: "Your precious Brother Ye Han’s never kissed you?"

A Wu furrowed her delicate brows, thought for a moment, and shook her head: "Nope!"

Jingxi Emperor frowned slightly as he studied A Wu.

He could tell this A Wu wasn’t lying—why would she?

So the old A Wu had lied through her teeth...

At this moment, A Wu bit her lip, her misty eyes brimming with grievance: "You’re lying. You can’t be my husband."

Jingxi Emperor: "Why?"

A Wu: "You’re mean to me!"

Jingxi Emperor: "How have I bullied you?"

A Wu: "Yes, you do!"

Then, she shot him a glance: "Why keep claiming you’re my husband? Brother Ye Han’s way better—you don’t even compare!"

Her voice, laced with childish stubbornness, taunted him.

Jingxi Emperor: "I’m that far beneath him?"

A Wu: "Duh!"

Jingxi Emperor: "Name one way."

A flicker of confusion crossed his face: "Don’t I feed you enough fish or shrimp? Haven’t I stuffed you silly every time?"

A Wu: "I don't know either, but you're just not good. You're not worth one-tenth of Brother Ye Han! A hundred of you couldn't compare to one Brother Ye Han!"

The Jingxi Emperor drew a sharp breath.

He felt she was retaliating against him, stabbing his heart with a sharp knife—what a cruel little thing.

Yet he could only tolerate it, endure it, unable to even clarify or express his thoughts to her.

She had forgotten everything, and he couldn’t drag her into the abyss.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he thought silently and numbly—perhaps she was doing it on purpose, her innocent act concealing razor-sharp edges.

The A Wu he knew had vanished, hidden away, only to confront him with this face.

A Wu naturally noticed his odd behavior and scrutinized him: "What's wrong with you?"

Jingxi Emperor: "Concerned about me?"

A Wu bit her lip and said nothing.

"So you do care after all?" the Jingxi Emperor asked without much hope.

A Wu wasn’t sure if she was worried, but seeing him like that just now had made her a little sad.

He was like a tree in late autumn, its leaves nearly all fallen.

She lowered her head and fidgeted with her feet.

The Jingxi Emperor glanced over—her feet, in their white silk socks, stepped on the soft carpet. She liked to shuffle them around, delighting in the sensation.

This childlike behavior eased much of the pain in his heart.

He could never blame her—never could.

She had once been his beloved wife, but now she had regressed, lost her memories, like some sheltered young girl.

This time, he could dote on her as if she were his daughter.

She could have whatever she wanted, be as bratty as she liked—he wouldn’t get angry, would be even more indulgent than with a daughter.

So he walked over, took her hand, and guided her to sit on the low couch. Then he brought a fresh pair of soft socks and changed them for her.

By now, he had this routine down pat.

A Wu felt strangely guilty. She knew she had upset him, had said things that hurt him, yet he wasn’t angry—instead, he was changing her socks.

She wanted to tell herself not to provoke him next time, but some spiteful impulse urged her otherwise—twist the knife. She added silently, *she thought*, *do it, do it, twist the knife deeper*.

Only when he was miserable would she feel better.

She watched the man kneeling at her feet. He had hooded eyes with delicate folds, now lowered, paired with a high, narrow nose bridge.

Against her will, she admitted—he was handsome, regal, unlike anyone in her world.

Besides, he was so gentle now, changing her socks, holding her feet like treasured things.

Thinking this, her pulse fluttered strangely...

Still, she couldn’t help asking, "Just how ancient are you, anyway?"

But in her heart, she thought, if he's too old, that's no good.

The Jingxi Emperor had just changed one of her socks and was about to put on the other when he heard this. He looked up in surprise.

A Wu found this man too deep for her to figure out, and she couldn’t help but blurt, "You’re not actually over a decade older than me, are you?"

The Jingxi Emperor teased, "What would you say if I were?"

A Wu was bewildered. "Wait, I married you?"

The Jingxi Emperor gave a noncommittal "Mmm."

A Wu frowned, counting on her fingers. "You're already thirty? Getting married this late—you can't be a decent guy."

As she thought this, something clicked, and she eyed him suspiciously.

The Jingxi Emperor asked, "What is it?"

A Wu glared at him. "Don’t lie to me! You had another wife before, didn’t you?"

The Jingxi Emperor stiffened slightly.

"I divorced her, and she died," he admitted frankly.

A Wu gasped. "Died? Did you make her die from anger?"

The Jingxi Emperor hesitated. He wanted to say *You killed her*, but that would only frighten her.

Seeing his hesitation, A Wu snapped, "I already know. No need to hide it from me."

The Jingxi Emperor was slightly taken aback.

A Wu lifted her foot and deliberately pressed her toes lightly against his palm. "You *did* make her die! You’re so harsh—who’d dare be your wife? She must’ve suffered every day until she died of anger!"

The Jingxi Emperor looked up at her smug look and was left speechless.

He conceded, "Sure, let’s go with that."

Honestly, that’s pretty close.

Suddenly, A Wu remembered something else. "You seem so wealthy—you’ve got concubines too, don’t you?"

The Jingxi Emperor’s expression darkened. Was she sharp or just nosy?

Still, he said, "Yeah. A lot."

A Wu inhaled sharply. "A lot? How many?"

"Their rooms are still around, but I don’t sleep with them anymore. I also have a son and a daughter."

A Wu was stunned, her eyes widening. "You—"

The Jingxi Emperor studied her. "You care, don’t you?"

A Wu fumed. "Of course I care—"

Hand on her chest, she insisted loudly, "I’d die before marrying you! Never! A Wu only wants a clean, respectable man! And he must be young—eighteen’s already old!"

"A Wu refuses to be a second wife—absolutely not!"

"A Wu won't marry any man who already has children!"

The Jingxi Emperor tried to soothe her: "A Wu—"

But A Wu cut him off sharply, "You're no good at all. You're nothing compared to my Ye Han brother. How could I ever agree to marry you?"

************

In recent days, the emperor had grown busier with state affairs, yet he still longed to have A Wu by his side. So he brought her to the imperial study, letting her stay nearby as he worked.

The Empress had died, and there was a stir in the court. However, the ironclad evidence against the Zhen'an Marquis's household left no room for argument; once the case files were presented, no one dared speak out.

The entire harem kept silent, all walking on eggshells to protect themselves. Despite such a major event, both the front court and the palace remained strangely quiet.

Still, the Donghai pirates needed dealing with, and many other matters of state required attention.

As the Jingxi Emperor went through memorials, A Wu lounged listlessly beside the imperial desk, gazing at the nearby palace lanterns. She picked up the vermilion brush and started doodling carelessly. Soon, she had ruined a clean sheet of white paper. The Seal Eunuch watching nearby was beside himself with anxiety.

After all, Great Hui had never allowed such liberties before—but the emperor had made an exception, bringing this Imperial Noble Consort here to sit beside him.

And now—goodness gracious! That was the emperor’s own vermilion brush, something no ordinary person should ever touch!

Yet the Jingxi Emperor didn’t bat an eye. He simply wiped her hands gently with a cloth and said, "Mind you don't get ink on yourself."

A Wu nodded softly, humming in agreement, then kept doodling enthusiastically until the whole page was covered.

The emperor glanced over. The splotches somewhat looked like a map.

Noticing his gaze, A Wu pointed at a large ink stain and said, "Sea."

He looked into her eyes. "The East Sea? Your home, A Wu?"

She nodded, her expression distant and dreamy, her eyes brimming with homesickness.

She whispered, "Father is there… and elder brother… They'll come back…"

The emperor murmured, "Yes, they will."

A Wu continued, "Father and brother will come back for me and Mother. They’ll bring jewels and jade, rolls upon rolls of fine silks… Our family will become rich! A Wu can have anything she wants, buy whatever she likes…"

Jingxi observed her from the corner of his eye.

This was fifteen-year-old A Wu, gazing toward the distant sea, waiting eagerly for her family’s return.

This was also A Wu—an unspoiled canvas, unmarked by future hardships.

Yet in her girlishly innocent look, he searched for traces of the woman he knew.

Just then, A Wu suddenly lifted her eyes and saw the wistfulness in his.

Curious, she asked, "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

The emperor schooled his features and smiled. "I just remembered something I'd like to show you."

A Wu blinked. "What is it?"

At his gesture, eunuchs stepped forward carrying a red-lacquered box. When it was opened, A Wu let out delighted little gasps.

Inside lay exquisite golden headpieces gleaming radiantly, their beauty enhanced further by the precious gemstones embedded within. Take the earrings, for instance—they were delicate pavilions crafted from gold filigree, light and intricate, utterly captivating. There were also jeweled crowns and hairpins adorned with shimmering gems that took her breath away.

A Wu toyed with the items, amazed: "So beautiful!"

Jingxi Emperor noticed her eyes shining with delight and smiled faintly: "Would you like to try one on?"

A Wu was surprised: "What?"

Jingxi Emperor said, "Please choose one."

As he spoke, he selected an amber-inlaid gold hairpin: "How about this one? Would you like to try it?"

A Wu hesitated, studying him carefully.

Jingxi Emperor sensed her hesitation: "Does this not please you? Would you prefer another?"

But A Wu shook her head: "I cannot accept it."

Jingxi Emperor was taken aback, yet still regarded her gently: "You don’t like it?"

A Wu pushed the red-lacquered box back toward him, though reluctantly, then stole a glance at him: "I don’t want yours."

Jingxi Emperor asked softly: "Why?"

A Wu lowered her head, pondered for a moment, then murmured: "Mother said when Father and Brother return, they’ll buy me anything I want..."

After saying this, she hung her head shyly: "I don’t want things from others."

For a moment, Jingxi Emperor’s mind went blank.

Yet he gently persisted: "Zelang isn’t an outsider—he’s your husband—"

As he spoke, he saw A Wu shake her head earnestly, her clear eyes fixed on him: "But I know you’re not."

Jingxi Emperor felt a pang in his heart: "Why am I not?"

A Wu: "I don’t know, but I know you’re not."

Jingxi Emperor firmly took her wrist, meeting her gaze: "Why not?"

A Wu thought for a moment before replying: "You’re not my father’s son-in-law, so you’re not my husband. Only those who’ve bowed to heaven, earth, and parents are A Wu’s husband!"

Jingxi Emperor’s breath hitched.

After a long pause, he set the red-lacquered box aside with deliberate calm, soothing her: "Fine, don’t take it then."

Thus A Wu returned to sketching her drawing, while Jingxi Emperor sat there, picking up a memorial to read. Though he recognized every word, their meaning eluded him.

Then, abruptly, a sharp pang of sorrow tore through his chest—so sudden and fierce it nearly shattered him.

The memorials before him blurred. His vision scattered, seeing nothing clearly.

A Wu noticed Jingxi Emperor’s pallid face, devoid of color, a sheen of cold sweat on his forehead, and became alarmed.

Her eyes filled with worry: "You... what’s wrong?"

Jingxi Emperor gazed at this innocent, naive A Wu—she was worried about him.

But this worry was merely her innate kindness, the kind she’d show even to a stranger.

She knew nothing of what came later. She didn’t understand the weight of her words.

The completely open A Wu, with her straightforward and innocent words, had unwittingly revealed the unspoken complexities between him and her in the past.

Faced with an A Wu so unfamiliar that she was actually showing him sympathy, what could he say?

So he raised his hand and gently touched her hair. "Never mind. I just remembered something small."

A Wu: "What?"

Jingxi Emperor: "In a place called Nanqiongzi, a man took the woman he loved foraging for wild mushrooms."

A Wu, curious: "And then?"

Jingxi Emperor recalled the scene—she had asked him if he had any children at home. He answered that his daughter was spoiled rotten, too stubborn by half.

What had she said again?

She had said, "It must be because you spoil her too much."

At the time, he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice the subtle emotions hidden in her words, so much so that now, looking back, everything was a blur.

In that moment, though they were together, they were like two strangers, each lost in their own thoughts.

As he was lost in thought, A Wu beside him gave him a confused look. "Why'd you stop?"

Jingxi Emperor continued, "...While picking mushrooms together, she suddenly became unhappy, even angry—like a cat with its tail stepped on. The man noticed, but didn’t say anything."

At the time, he simply didn’t care enough—because of that indifference, he overlooked it, even thinking her flattery was pretty awkward.

A Wu: "Why didn’t he ask?"

Jingxi Emperor: "No idea."

A Wu, however, said, "It must be because he didn’t care. If he did, how could he not ask?"

Jingxi Emperor paused and said, "You're right. Back then, he didn't care, so he ignored it."

And so, many things got lost in his indifference.

Until one day, life took a sharp turn and hit him hard.

A Wu asked again: "Then what?"

Jingxi Emperor: "That's it."

A Wu: "What?"

Jingxi Emperor: "So the man started hurting."

A Wu was surprised. She gave him a look and delivered a straight-up verdict: "Hurting? Then he had it coming."

Jingxi Emperor: "Yeah, he did."

A Wu went back to her drawing, quickly becoming absorbed in it and no longer thinking about the man who had only himself to blame.

Jingxi Emperor’s gaze slowly turned toward the window.

Memories of the past—those he might have cared about and those he hadn’t—all came flooding back.

In Nanqiongzi, he showered her with gold and silver, assuming this young woman was money-hungry—indeed, he’d always looked down on her.

He brazenly claimed to offer her a parent’s love, yet in truth, his intentions were sinister, laughably so.

Every “gift” demanded repayment.

He was older than she, never formally married her, nor even performed the traditional bows to heaven and earth.

He called her father *your honorable father*, his tone dripping with condescension.

She knew it all too well—but had no choice.

And so, after all his scheming, from another woman’s lips came the verdict: “Serves him right.”