Chapter 57 Why Can’t I Decide

Chapter 57: Why Can’t I Have the Final Say

“Shen Ci.” Shen Shiyan called him in a low voice, reaching out to wipe away his tears. “Why are you crying?”

His tone was calm, and he called Shen Ci twice more before he responded, softly calling him “Daddy.”

“My stomach hurts.” Shen Ci curled up, clutching his stomach, and added, “I also had a nightmare.”

Shen Ci felt he had been well cared for; he rarely dreamed these past two years, let alone had nightmares, and even his stomachaches had become less frequent.

Shen Shiyan turned on the bedside lamp, fetched stomach medicine and a not-too-large thermos from his bag, unscrewed it, and handed it over. “It’s not hot. Take the medicine first.”

Shen Ci obediently swallowed the pills.

Shen Shiyan placed the cup on the nightstand between the beds and turned off the light. After a moment’s hesitation, he walked to the other side of the bed, lifted Shen Ci’s blanket, and lay down.

Though the bed was big enough, they had to squeeze together to avoid falling off. Shen Ci was held from behind, a warm hand rubbing his stomach, and a faint sigh came from above his head.

In this position, they were pressed tightly together, almost seamlessly. The last time Shen Shiyan had held him like this was when Shen Ci had talked about the Shen family theory.

It was his fault—he should have added notes to the food delivery order.

“What nightmare did you have?” Shen Shiyan asked while rubbing, trying to distract him. Outside, thunder rumbled, and a second wave of rain began to patter down, quickly turning into a heavy downpour.

Shen Ci felt the warmth on his back, and his stomach eased a bit. He shook his head. “I can’t remember clearly. It felt like something was chasing me.”

“Mm.” The syllable was faint, almost a hum. “It’s nothing now. Go to sleep.”

Shen Ci’s stomach pain gradually dissolved into Shen Shiyan’s body heat. He didn’t know how long passed, but the hand on his stomach was still moving gently. He couldn’t fall asleep.

He wanted to roll over and hug Shen Shiyan, but as soon as he moved, the person behind him held him in place. “Hm?”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore… I want to hug you.” Shen Ci reached out a hand and brushed through his hair.

“I’m going back to my room.” Shen Shiyan acted like a signal jammer, completely ignoring Shen Ci’s last words. He withdrew his hand, and the next second, the blanket was lifted.

Shen Ci quickly flipped over and hugged Shen Shiyan’s waist, his chin resting above his hip bone. “Don’t go, Daddy.”

Shen Shiyan stiffened. The teenager’s whining sounded awkward to him. He pried at Shen Ci’s hand. “Sleep by yourself.”

Right on cue, a loud thunderclap sounded outside, making Shen Ci shudder. He took the opportunity to hold on tighter, whispering, “I’m scared.”

A long, silent standoff.

A second sigh followed.

Shen Shiyan lay back down again.

Shen Ci held him close, burying his face in the space between Shen Shiyan’s shoulder and the pillow, breathing in Shen Shiyan’s scent.

“What are you scared of?” Shen Shiyan knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight and suppressed the urge to sigh a third time.

“The thunder, I think.” Shen Ci nuzzled against him. “And the nightmare.”

“Both.”

“If you’re scared of both, why go to the rainforest?” Shen Shiyan closed his eyes, listening to the rain outside.

“You can’t give up a great trip just because you’re scared. I’ve already missed so many chances to see new things in the past. It’s such a shame.” Shen Ci answered seriously.

Shen Shiyan knew he was talking about his days of wandering. His Adam’s apple bobbed, but he said nothing, only letting out a faint “mm” after a long while.

Shen Ci’s mind wandered. When Shen Shiyan didn’t speak for a while, he didn’t ask either, just let his mind drift to other things—from secretly holding hands on the bus to Song Xianghan’s words: “Whether your waist is good isn’t up to you.”

With that thought, his hand slid down from Shen Shiyan’s ribs to his waist, pressing it gently, only for Shen Shiyan to grab his wrist.

“Daddy.” Shen Ci could feel that the grip wasn’t tight. He shook his hand loose from Shen Shiyan’s grip and put it back on his waist. “Why can’t I decide whether your waist is good?”

“…”

“If you’re not going to sleep, let go,” Shen Shiyan’s voice turned a little harsh. “I’m going back to sleep.”

Shen Ci quickly shook his head no.

The room fell silent, leaving only the rain outside, fierce and unrelenting, as if it wanted to wash away the whole city of Bincheng.

When they set off on the second leg of the journey at seven o’clock, morning light hit the wet ground. The clouds had cleared, and the sky was completely clear.

Shen Ci stretched before boarding the bus and, once seated, said regretfully, “We left too early. I wanted to enjoy it a bit longer.”

“Enjoy what?” The bus started moving, and Shen Shiyan took out two plushies from the compartment and placed them on Shen Ci’s lap.

“The smell after the rain.” Shen Ci fiddled with the pendants, lining them up on the narrow shelf. “It’s like… after a heavy storm like this, it feels like you’ve sprayed a breath freshener in your lungs.”

Shen Shiyan had always found Shen Ci’s understanding of nature interesting and simple. For instance, when they went out to sea, Shen Ci had thrown up until his face was pale. That night, as Shen Shiyan sat by his bed, Shen Ci smiled, showing his white teeth, and said he felt like he was in a blue washing machine filled with saltwater.

When he had a cold in winter, he insisted on wrapping himself in a blanket by the floor-to-ceiling window to watch the snow, secretly opening the window to catch some with his hand. Shen Shiyan would frown and drag him back, and Shen Ci would smile again, saying he loved snow because it was cold but fragrant, falling finely on his head, its crisp scent much like Shen Shiyan himself.

A hint of a smile appeared in his eyes. Shen Shiyan was about to speak when the bus passed a small temple, seemingly a place where war had once stationed troops. The guide cheerfully started singing a revolutionary song.

Though it was inappropriate, everyone on the bus laughed because the guide was completely off-key, with the beginning and end of each note twisting chaotically, and his loud voice made the singing sound like he was casting a spell.

Shen Ci leaned against Shen Shiyan, laughing, and even remembered to cover the two plushies’ ears.

The latter part of the journey was clearly more cheerful. They even played old games like “pass the parcel,” and Shen Ci narrowly avoided a public embarrassment, sighing in relief when the “flower” was thrown to the back row.

They arrived at the destination just after three o’clock. After retrieving and distributing equipment from the lower deck of the bus, the homeroom teacher stood at the entrance giving instructions.

“Although this forest area has been designated for government development, construction hasn’t started yet, so we are among the last to see this tropical rainforest in its most primitive, natural state. Summer weather is changeable. During the tour, be careful of mosquitoes, insects, and venomous snakes. Report any situations promptly—we have professional doctors with us. When setting up tents at night, everyone must follow Teacher Lin’s lessons on outdoor survival skills. Remember, no solo actions.”

He gave very detailed instructions, flanked by a doctor, a guide, and a hired wilderness explorer named Lin Yuan.

Even at the edge, Shen Ci could already feel the humid, hot wind carrying a thick, woody scent hitting his face. Looking up, he saw several giant ancient trees soaring into the sky, mixed with various others, their branches intertwined.

As the group advanced deeper, the dense leaves and vines above connected, letting only a few rays of sunlight through the gaps. Beneath their feet were layers of fallen leaves and humus, soft and slippery, each step accompanied by a faint, muffled sound.

Constant chatter, exclamations, and the clicks of cameras reached Shen Ci’s ears.

“Classmates, look—this is wild banana. Its leaves are huge, and the fruit is edible but not tasty…” The guide held a small megaphone, pointing to a tree laden with greenish-blue banana fruits.

A few trees were shorter, and Shen Ci reached out to touch the thick, fan-like leaves. The texture was strange—soft and slightly cool to the touch.

“Touch it, Daddy.” Shen Ci nudged Shen Shiyan beside him.

Before he could reach out, the guide added, “But be careful—leeches and some snakes often hide in banana groves. Stay alert when observing.”

Shen Ci pulled his hand back.