Chapter 60 No Regrets

Chapter 60: No Regrets

"Don't mess with that."

Shen Shiyan blocked Shen Ci's hand that was reaching out to touch a chameleon.

"It's kinda cute, bro." Shen Ci looked at the chameleon's bulging eyes and the spikes on its back. "The teacher said it's non-toxic."

Shen Shiyan stared at the little creature, expressionless. "It's got bacteria."

Shen Ci settled for snapping a photo with his phone, forgetting to turn off the flash. With a "click," the critter on the low branch scurried off, gone in a flash.

"At least I got a picture." Shen Ci held up his phone. "Bro, look."

It was already day three of summer camp. Yesterday, they mostly checked out different plants. Shen Ci really liked these milky white flowers on a tree, five petals with bright yellow centers. He picked up a fallen flower from under the tree and asked Lin Yuan about it, only to find out this simple, pretty flower had a super tacky name—frangipani.

And the white sap in its stems and leaves is poisonous.

Chen Bufan slung an arm around his shoulders and cracked up.

Shen Ci gave up on taking one back as a souvenir. He looked at the flower in his hand, still fresh, and said he wanted to rename it.

"Egg Yolk Dipped in Snow." Shen Ci walked along, staring at it, not coming up with anything great, but still thought it sounded way better than frangipani.

Chen Bufan walked next to him and started laughing again. "Still stuck on eggs, huh?"

Shen Ci pinched the thick petals and laughed along, then asked Shen Shiyan, who'd been quietly watching the show on his right: "Bro, what do you think? What should I name it?"

Shen Shiyan totally didn't get this whole naming-flowers thing—basically renaming them. He glanced at the flower in Shen Ci's hand again while keeping an eye on the trail, and said in a low voice, "Moon-Stained Golden Stamen."

"Whoa." Chen Bufan and Shen Ci both gasped in admiration, then both stuttered in their heads.

Your dad/your brother's something else.

My d-ddy/my brother's something else.

Chen Bufan also couldn't quite figure out the weird vibe between Shen Ci and Shen Shiyan. Yesterday it was "d-ddy," today it's "brother." It didn't feel like a name change, more like they were flirting on some mission.

But he didn't dare say it.

"Yeah, nice." Shen Shiyan snapped out of it. "Nice shot."

Shen Ci used "brother" and "bro" interchangeably, one word apart, worlds apart.

Shen Ci dragged him over to see a jumping spider Lin Yuan found.

"Jumping spiders have these big eyes that other spiders are jealous of. They don't make webs; they hunt by jumping."

A girl gasped, "Something that tiny can jump to hunt?"

Shen Ci usually didn't join their chats; he just watched quietly and took pics. He thought the jumping spider was cute too—fuzzy, with shiny black eyes.

When he reached out to grab Shen Shiyan, he grabbed air. He turned back and saw Shen Shiyan standing stiff, two steps away.

"Bro, aren't you gonna look? Why're you so far?" Shen Ci walked over. "That jumping spider's so chubby."

Shen Shiyan shook his head. "Nah, you go look."

For the past two days, he'd patiently tagged along with Shen Ci to check everything out, so Shen Ci now felt something was up.

"Come on, take a look. It's small, with fuzz on it." Shen Ci sincerely invited him.

Shen Shiyan felt a shiver coming on, a very uncomfortable physiological reaction. He raised his hand, and goosebumps had already appeared.

"I'm not looking." He refused bluntly. "And stop describing it."

Shen Ci suddenly understood. He leaned in with a sly smile. "Bro, are you afraid of spiders?"

Shen Shiyan's goosebumps hadn't gone away, and his body stiffened even more at the words. "No, I'm not."

"Then come look with me." Shen Ci tugged at his quick-dry shirt with two fingers.

"I'm not looking."

Shen Ci felt he had discovered a huge secret. His d-ddy had always seemed all-powerful, but he was defeated by a cute little spider. No wonder the insect repellent powder outside their tent was always sprinkled thicker than others'.

He teased Shen Shiyan for a bit but stopped before going too far. When he went back, the jumping spider was gone, replaced by a larger golden orb-weaver. He took a photo and sent it to Song Qiuchi like before.

This time, the reply wasn't the usual objective comment or an exclamation about how pretty something was.

"Song Qiuchi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GO AWAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Song Qiuchi: Retract! Retract! Retract!"

"Song Qiuchi: Demons and monsters, begone.JPG"

Shen Ci: "?"

He long-pressed the message to retract it, but the signal suddenly went bad, and the loading circle on the screen spun for ages.

By the time it recovered, it was too late to take it back.

"Shen Ci: Just now there was no signal, hehe."

"Song Qiuchi: I hate you."

He put away his phone and followed the group forward. Shen Shiyan was half an arm's length away, so he moved closer.

"Bro." Shen Ci adjusted his steps to match Shen Shiyan's, left leg first, then right. "Do you regret coming to the rainforest with me?"

Shen Shiyan looked down at their synchronized steps, remembering when Shen Ci was shorter and had to trot to keep up. Now he could match his stride.

"Regret what?" Shen Shiyan looked up at the path.

Shen Ci said seriously, "Those insects are common in tropical rainforests, right? You see them almost everywhere."

A monkey swung past on a vine to the right of the group. Shen Ci followed it with his eyes, eyes wide, and let out a simple, heartfelt exclamation: "So cool."

Shen Shiyan twitched the corner of his mouth, thinking he should keep Shen Sicheng away from Shen Ci. Another two years, and Shen Ci's "so cool" would turn into "so fucking cool."

Only after the monkey had swung away did Shen Ci turn back, eyes shining.

"No regrets." Shen Shiyan answered the question from nearly ten minutes ago.

Shen Ci didn't find it strange and naturally picked up the thread. "Then do you feel unhappy?"

"No." Shen Shiyan answered truthfully.

Shen Ci observed Shen Shiyan's expression for a moment, and only after confirming he wasn't being insincere did he nod contentedly. "That's good."

Shen Shiyan had been by Shen Ci's side ever since he was eleven years old. If he missed out on these seven amazing days with Shen Ci just because he was scared, that would truly be something he'd regret.

In fact, he'd started to notice something off about his feelings last year. Every now and then, he'd try to hold back, but it was useless. Even when he acted cold, Shen Ci would still cling to him—sometimes acting spoiled, sometimes pretending to be sick, and sometimes deliberately making small mistakes that forced Shen Shiyan to discipline him.

The worst was when Shen Ci actually thought he'd messed up. Late at night, he'd lie on top of Shen Shiyan, almost soaking the blanket with tears, asking if Shen Shiyan found him annoying and didn't want him anymore.

Shen Shiyan felt helpless. After that, he never gave Shen Ci the cold shoulder for days on end without reason.

In Shen Shiyan's eyes, Shen Ci was way too late in figuring out his feelings, having no concept of emotions beyond familial affection. As a result, he often did things that were way out of line with Shen Shiyan, yet Shen Ci himself never realized it.

The forest was still muggy and hot. Shen Shiyan wiped the sweat off the side of his neck with a tissue and then took another photo of Shen Ci nearby, standing on tiptoe with his hand raised to reach a leaf on a tree.

The background was lush and green. With his back to Shen Shiyan, Shen Ci's head was tilted up, his hair naturally falling, standing out vividly against the layers of deep and light green.

It was that hidden album again. Looking at the label at the top that read "Shen Ci (92)," Shen Shiyan's usually calm expression momentarily cracked.

"Brother!" Shen Ci finally plucked a leaf and waved at Shen Shiyan from under the tree. His pale arm waved as light streamed through the gaps, his smile brighter than the sun itself. "I got it!"

Shen Shiyan felt he should openly capture such a scene and save it to his album, but because of the shift in his emotions, the memory card could only hold Shen Ci's back.

Taking a deep breath, Shen Shiyan nodded at Shen Ci.

Look, in this tropical rainforest, there was someone this beautiful smiling at him.

How could he ever regret it?