Chapter 67 Shen Ci Wins

Chapter 67: Shen Ci Wins

Back in Canghai City, Shen Ci was still running a low fever and kept wearing long pants in his room. It wasn’t until the night they returned to Yuncheng that Shen Shiyan saw Shen Ci’s knees—bruised worse than when he fell learning to skateboard, patches of purple and blue from where he’d knelt, unable to support himself during the two days Shen Shiyan was missing.

Now Shen Ci was lying on the bed, his legs dangling off the side. Shen Shiyan stood by his legs, where a patch of purple-red the size of a kid’s fist had appeared on the back of his thigh beneath the long sleep pants, the one near the left already turning black.

“Did one guy do this to him?” Shen Shiyan sat on the edge of the bed, holding back the urge to gently press his hand on it.

“No.” Shen Ci rolled over. He hadn’t seen the bruise on his leg until he came back to change into his school uniform; the rest of his body barely had any marks.

Shen Shiyan hummed and asked, “Do you still remember who did it?”

Shen Ci shook his head, sat up, and casually pulled his pant leg down, looking indifferent, saying seriously, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t really hurt anymore.”

Shen Shiyan scooted back, leaning against the soft headboard, and looked into Shen Ci’s eyes. He remembered the first time he’d suspected Shen Ci might be faking it—it was also over a fight, and those same peach-blossom eyes, far from the calm they held now, had been full of murderous rage, like he wanted to devour Shen Rong alive. And that time, it was because of the dumplings Shen Shiyan had given him.

He held grudges the most, but now he’d become magnanimous, saying “it doesn’t matter.”

“Go back to bed.” Shen Shiyan looked down. He didn’t know when it had started—maybe earlier than he realized—but Shen Ci had cracked his whole heart open and planted a seed inside. Over time, it took root and sprouted, its branches and leaves tearing through flesh and blood, intertwining with his veins. It seemed like whenever Shen Ci was unhappy or wronged, part of it withered, dragging Shen Shiyan’s whole being into pain.

“I never taught you to swallow your pride either.” Shen Shiyan turned off the lamp. “There’s some bruise ointment in the medicine cabinet. Put it on yourself.”

Shen Ci stayed seated, staring at the now-dark lamp. He thought the lampshade was probably still warm, just like Shen Shiyan.

“I don’t want to be a pushover either.” Shen Ci said, his voice rising with a youthful stubbornness. “What about you!? I look all impressive on the surface, but when have you ever not taken the punishment for my recklessness?”

“At worst, I’d kneel in the ancestral hall.” Shen Shiyan didn’t expect Shen Ci to react so fiercely.

“And what about this time!?” Shen Ci’s eyes moved from the lampshade to Shen Shiyan’s face, like he was venting or accusing him. “And what do you mean, ‘at worst, kneel in the ancestral hall’? I just don’t want you to kneel! I don’t want you to take the fall for me!”

“I’m not the one who’s wronged.” Shen Shiyan was bathed in soft moonlight. “So I kneel, big deal.”

I’m more worried about you feeling wronged.

“So I kneel, big deal...” Shen Ci repeated, standing up and looking down at Shen Shiyan, his voice even louder. “Then what if they hurt you again!? What if I never see you again!?”

Shen Shiyan looked up at him—a rare angle, since most of the time Shen Shiyan was the one looking down.

Click, the lamp came back on. Shen Shiyan sighed, a hint of helplessness in his eyes. “Saying that makes me feel pretty damn useless.”

Shen Ci froze, looking confused. “Why?”

“Afraid I can’t keep you safe.” Shen Shiyan still held his gaze. “I don’t have any say in the Shen family right now.”

As long as Shen Wenzhou was around, he and Shen Ci would be living under someone else’s roof. But he still did his best to give Shen Ci the best he could, until the entire Shen family was under his control.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about stepping away from the Shen family’s conflicts altogether, but once you’ve waded into this murky water, there’s no clean way out. Would Shen Wenzhou and Shen Siyu ever let him go? Besides, he could survive anywhere, but what about Shen Ci? Would he have to make Shen Ci endure hardship all over again during his best years?

Shen Shiyan didn’t want to explain this to Shen Ci. Some pressures were better kept to himself.

“Last time was just my negligence. It won’t happen again.” Shen Shiyan added.

Shen Ci was stunned by Shen Shiyan’s overly calm demeanor. Somewhat angrily, he asked, “Then why were you negligent last time?”

“...”

Shen Shiyan was momentarily speechless.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d been so flustered by Shen Ci’s unconscious provocations that he’d chosen to go out and negotiate with Shen Siyu just to calm down.

“I can promise you.” Shen Shiyan changed the subject. “I won’t get into trouble, and I won’t let you lose sight of me.”

Shen Ci felt a bit reassured.

“You have to promise me too.” He coaxed Shen Ci like a child. “Tell me right away if you’re wronged, and don’t let others bully you just because you’re afraid of causing trouble.”

Shen Shiyan rarely spoke to him like this.

“Not even if it’s me.” Shen Shiyan added.

Shen Ci’s anger had mostly subsided. Hearing this, he blinked after a long pause. “You wouldn’t bully me.”

Shen Shiyan let out a quiet laugh, tinged with a barely perceptible bitterness and restraint.

“Mm.” Shen Shiyan pinched the blanket with his left hand. “Hard to say.”

His voice was so soft that Shen Ci didn’t catch it. Before he could ask again, Shen Shiyan urged him to go back to sleep.

“I don’t want to go back.” Shen Ci gave up trying to figure out what Shen Shiyan had said and resumed his nightly routine from the past few days.

Shen Shiyan turned off the lamp again, intending to settle this matter once and for all.

“You’re fifteen, Shen Ci. I’m an adult male. Sleeping together isn’t appropriate, understand?”

“Oh...” Shen Ci nodded, then scooted closer to him. “But I think it’s fine.”

He hadn’t taken in a single word. Shen Shiyan didn’t know what he was “oh-ing” about. Every time like this, Shen Ci’s innocent eyes always softened his heart, but that wasn’t a good thing for either of them.

His eyes drifted downward slightly, avoiding Shen Ci’s expression. Sometimes he really wished he could be crueler, so he wouldn’t be trapped in this emotional vortex—one with almost no possibility or future—sinking deeper and deeper.

“In Canghai City, the sleeping bags were already set up. I had no choice.” Shen Shiyan said quietly. “Now there are plenty of rooms. No need to choose anymore.”

He used what he thought was a gentle but firm rejection, but to Shen Ci’s ears, the words were painful and heartbreaking.

“I don’t want to cling to you either.” Shen Ci pouted. “But lately I’ve been...”

He hesitated, thinking it was too sentimental, but pressed on. “...anxious. I get anxious if I can’t see you, I get scared. I can’t sleep alone at night. Ever since we came back from Canghai City, I haven’t slept well.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, close enough to touch Shen Shiyan’s knee.

Without any self-consciousness about his actions, Shen Ci leaned directly onto Shen Shiyan’s lap and called out softly, “Daddy.”

He hadn’t called him that since coming back today. This was the first time.

Shen Shiyan took a deep breath, a trace of irritation flickering in his brow.

Shen Ci had won.

“You toss and turn in your sleep. Go back to your room first.” Shen Shiyan gently patted the top of Shen Ci’s head. “Tomorrow, I’ll buy a new bed and put it over there.”

Shen Ci looked up, following where Shen Shiyan’s finger pointed.

His room was sparse, feeling empty and cold. The balcony area had plenty of space—more than enough for a bed.

“Really?”

Shen Shiyan nodded.

“Goodnight, Daddy!” Afraid he might change his mind, Shen Ci quickly got up from the bed and hurried back to his room.

The weight on his leg vanished instantly. Shen Shiyan shook his head.