Chapter 111 Stay by My Side

Chapter 111: Stay by My Side

"Ouch."

Just as he managed to shove the struggling man into the passenger seat, Shen Shiyan's shoulder was bitten hard.

"Don't be mad. Give your brother a chance to explain." Shen Shiyan let him sink his teeth in. "Be good, or you'll bump something and get hurt."

He soothed him gently while fastening the seatbelt.

The seat looked like it had been adjusted beforehand, leaning far back.

Shen Shiyan had no intention of getting out of the passenger side; he swung his long legs over the center console and closed the passenger door from inside.

He was too tall, squeezed into the cramped space up front.

"Shen Shiyan." Shen Ci let go, glaring at the man inches away. "Don't act all innocent now that you've gotten what you wanted."

The latter acted as if he didn't see Shen Ci's glare, clumsily crawled back to the driver's seat from the center console, and got kicked by Shen Ci.

The car shot off swiftly, racing through the rainy night.

Shen Ci spotted a boutonniere pinned to Shen Shiyan's clothes and sneered, "You're marrying someone else. No need to pretend to care about me. I don't need it."

The car was just under the speed limit. Shen Shiyan freed one hand to remove the boutonniere and handed it to Shen Ci, saying softly, "I'm not getting married. I'm the best man."

The word on it was hidden by a flower. Only when he looked closely could he barely make out "best man."

Shen Ci rolled down the window, and rain slanted in heavily.

The next second, he snatched the boutonniere and chucked it out the window.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at Yunjing Mansion.

"I'll carry you upstairs." Shen Shiyan watched Shen Ci unbuckle his seatbelt, but didn't dare unlock the doors.

Shen Ci's eyes half-closed. "I'm not going to race you three klicks in the rain."

Though uneasy, Shen Shiyan unlocked and got out first, holding the umbrella over the passenger door.

Shen Ci was half a step ahead, tilting the umbrella forward to block the wind and rain.

They were silent the whole way.

The furniture was the same, and so was the door code. Inside, everything was the same as when Shen Ci left years ago.

Shen Ci heard a soft click as the door closed behind him.

"Why'd you bring me back..." The last words were cut off as a hand pressed against his waist, pulling him back until his back met Shen Shiyan's chest, still cool from the rain.

"Shen Ci." Shen Shiyan buried his face in Shen Ci's neck. "I missed you so much."

In his memory, Shen Shiyan was never the type to say such things. Shen Ci's body stiffened, but he quickly came to his senses and pried open the arms around his waist.

Shen Shiyan was only holding him lightly, so he broke free easily.

"Meow." Tuanzi stretched as he came out of the master bedroom, tail held high. He didn't seem afraid of Shen Ci, rubbing affectionately against his calf.

So he still kept a cat.

Shen Ci thought to himself, bending down to pick up Tuanzi and walking over to the sofa to sit down.

"Why miss me? Didn't you say you didn't want me anymore?" Shen Ci stroked Tuanzi, his tone cold and disdainful, though the words were aimed at Shen Shiyan.

Shen Shiyan said nothing, started taking off his clothes.

Shen Ci's gaze never left the purring cat.

Shen Shiyan approached, crouching before him and taking his wrist.

"I never stopped wanting you. I had no choice back then." Shen Shiyan's thumb gently rubbed the warm skin, guiding Shen Ci's hand to his shoulder. From the front, he could still see the faint bruise from Shen Ci's bite in the car. "When you were on top, you couldn't see it. This gunshot wound just healed not long ago."

Using shady tactics to trick him back, Shen Shiyan treasured this chance to explain. He held back nothing, choosing to lay it all out, even if it only earned him a little pity.

Shen Shiyan let go of Shen Ci and turned all the way around. There was also a knife wound on his side, a faint scar about five or six centimeters long.

"Mom's already gone. I can't bring her back." Shen Shiyan felt Shen Ci's hand land on his back, gently tracing the scars.

"You're the only one I have left to protect." His tone was sincere as he explained to Shen Ci. "I said those awful things that day, and it was my fault. But if I had to do it again, I'd still say them."

Shen Ci's hand paused. Tuanzi had jumped off his lap at some point, leaving a few white hairs on his black pants.

"I was scared. If you had any connection to me at all, even if you'd gone to Ethers, Shen Siyu or Shen Rong might still come after you. So that day, in front of Shen Siyu, I had no other choice."

Shen Ci's nose started to sting.

Shen Shiyan reached up to cup Shen Ci's cheek, looking at his reddened eyes. "Shen Ci, I can't stand thinking about you having these gunshot and knife wounds. How much would that hurt? I can't stand you getting hurt because of me again."

His thumb gently pressed at the corner of Shen Ci's eye. "I'd lose my mind."

His other hand reached down to gently hold Shen Ci's ankle. His touch was so gentle, as if Shen Ci were truly fragile porcelain.

"Shen Sicheng said you sprained your ankle back then. Does it still hurt?"

The words Shen Shiyan had choked back four years ago were finally spoken to Shen Ci.

"It stopped hurting long ago." Shen Ci's voice was choked with tears, a drop falling.

"Don't cry." Shen Shiyan dried his tears. "Come back to me, okay? If you're still angry, you can curse me, bite me, hit me—anything."

His eyes were red too. "Just don't leave me again."

Shen Ci's nose was painfully stinging.

Truth be told, after leaving those years, Shen Ci had thought about it. But what hurt was how ruthless he was, and even more, having to leave Shen Shiyan. After depending on someone for seven or eight years, suddenly being abandoned felt like dying.

So he was too proud to contact Shen Shiyan, never paid attention to news about him.

But Shen Ci had truly considered Shen Shiyan's well-being. Even when he decided never to return to China, he still worried that Shen Shiyan might suffer trauma from what happened with Zhong Yurong. For that slim possibility, he only applied for psychology as his major.

Shen Ci had loved Shen Shiyan for many years. Otherwise, when he heard the news of his impending marriage, he wouldn't have been so distraught that he couldn't sleep for three days straight, eventually finding an excuse to come back, even dragging Fang Yuexun into his plan.

He admitted he was selfish. Even though it might ruin Shen Shiyan, he got Song Qiuchi to ask Dr. Liang to arrange a few hours alone with Shen Shiyan. Of course, he told Dr. Liang it was just to talk, to resolve the knots of these years.

Dr. Liang answered to Song Xianghan. He didn't suspect a thing, even thinking it might help Shen Shiyan's condition.

Shen Ci still loved him. He couldn't let go of years of feelings and hidden love with the four years of separation.

He grieved for the time they'd lost, but he also ached for the dark path Shen Shiyan had walked by himself during those four years. Actually, he had stopped being angry long ago. He was just afraid that Shen Shiyan truly didn't want him anymore.

Shen Ci bit his lower lip, then took Shen Shiyan's hand off his face and held his fingertips.

"I hate you so much it's killing me." Shen Ci said with a sob, pushing Shen Shiyan not too hard with his other hand. "I... I begged you so much back then, how could you be so cruel..."

"Be good." Shen Shiyan returned his grip, dropping gracefully to his knees. "How about I beg you now?"

"Don't you dare kneel! Who told you to kneel!" Shen Ci's heart sank, and he quickly reached out with his other hand to pull Shen Shiyan's arm, but instead intertwined their fingers.

Shen Shiyan's eyes brimmed with love as he pulled Shen Ci's hand close and kissed it. "I've knelt in the ancestral hall so many times, it's time I kneel before the real master."

Feeling the warm breath on the back of his hand, Shen Ci heard Shen Shiyan's low voice in the intimate, ambiguous atmosphere: "Stay by my side. Please."