Chapter 037: Are You a Dog?

Chapter 037: Are You a Dog?

In the afternoon, the sky was gloomy, as dark as it usually is at eight or nine in the evening. Dark clouds gathered, and the wind kept blowing; it was likely to rain heavily soon.

"What are you doing here?"

Guo Pushu walked up to him and saw Chen Qingjuan's eyes light up for a moment, only to dim again.

"Waiting for you." He lowered his head and said very quietly.

Guo Pushu raised an eyebrow and asked with a smile, "What did you say? The wind is too strong; I didn't hear you clearly."

"Waiting for you!"

Chen Qingjuan took a deep breath, lifted his head, and stared at Guo Pushu. "I'm waiting for you. After arriving in the county this morning, I've been waiting here all along."

He had been standing for too long, and his feet were kind of numb, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He was afraid that if he walked away, Guo Pushu would come and he'd miss her.

Guo Pushu asked, "Is that so? What if you didn't find me?"

"I would keep waiting." Chen Qingjuan took out his letter of introduction from his pocket. "I told the village chief I wasn't feeling well and needed to come to the county for two days to see a doctor and stay in a guesthouse for one night. If I couldn't find you here, I'd go back to the village and keep waiting until you showed up."

"Since you knew you could wait in the village, why come to the county today and waste time waiting here?" Guo Pushu looked down at his letter of introduction and almost laughed out loud. So, he had learned to lie, though he was already good at it—saying one thing and meaning another was his specialty.

Chen Qingjuan was silent for a few seconds, then lowered his eyelids, his cheeks slightly red. "Because I wanted to see you as soon as possible. When you don't come back, waiting in the village kills me."

He actually wanted to ask who that guy beside her was, but he knew he had no right to ask.

If... if it really was the kind of relationship he feared, should he give up? Chen Qingjuan didn't know. But now that he'd finally waited for her, it meant they were meant to be.

"So you know what unbearable feels like." Guo Pushu let out a light scoff, her words loaded with meaning, making Chen Qingjuan's face turn pale. He lowered his head even further, feeling overwhelmed by shame.

His lips trembled as he was about to say "I'm sorry," when he saw Guo Pushu's hand reaching out to him. Chen Qingjuan looked up in surprise and saw the smile on her face. The disappointment and gloom in his heart started to lift.

She said, "Come on. Standing here like this, we're starting to attract a crowd."

"Okay." Chen Qingjuan's face turned red as he bashfully took her hand. She still wanted him around.

He had stood there for so long, enduring many glances. Passersby would look at him twice.

For Chen Qingjuan, who had always lived in a closed-off world, this was undoubtedly a huge challenge. He wasn't good at handling people staring at him, but he had persisted. Since he wanted to wait, he couldn't quit halfway.

Chen Qingjuan's fingers were beautiful. He kept glancing at their clasped hands. There were still many people on the street, and occasionally someone would look over, making him nervous. In a low voice, he said, "In front of so many people, this... this isn't right... We'll hold hands when we get home."

"Is that so? Then I'll let go." Guo Pushu tried to pull her hand away, but Chen Qingjuan only held it tighter. He pressed his lips together and didn't say anything more, a hint of pride in his expression.

Let them look. They were dating, weren't they? Couldn't they hold hands? Even if they stared, it wouldn't kill him.

Guo Pushu felt like laughing. He clearly wanted to hold hands, but he still liked to pretend.

Back then, things weren't that strict, as long as the behavior wasn't too outrageous. When dating, walking down the street hand in hand was normal. No one would say anything. People riding bicycles would even wrap their arms around the rider's waist.

Guo Pushu took him to the small courtyard she had just bought. She'd already paid, gotten the keys, and had the deed on her.

A neighbor next door was out. Seeing the bad weather and signs of rain, she had put her grandchildren down for a nap and was now tidying up things propped against the door. When she saw an unfamiliar man and woman open the door of the house next door, she couldn't help but glance at them a few times. "Are you new residents moving in?"

She knew this family. The wife was sick, and earlier they had hinted at selling the house. They had already moved back to their rural hometown because they couldn't afford treatment anymore. They'd even asked her if she knew any reliable buyers, but she didn't. Besides, not many would be daring enough to buy a courtyard. Most people couldn't come up with that much money all at once, and those with substantial savings didn't need to buy such a place.

"Yeah." Guo Pushu nodded with a faint smile. "We just bought it today and are moving in. My family is too big for us to all live together, and since we just got married, we decided to move out. It's a bit expensive, but we gritted our teeth and managed. Otherwise, such a small house can't fit the whole family; it's inconvenient."

This explanation came easily, and it sounded perfectly plausible. She didn't say whether it was bought or rented, just mentioning the price, but implying they could afford it.

And when she said "just married," Chen Qingjuan's face turned even redder. He stayed shy and silent, not refuting.

He understood. Some things they could argue about in private, but in public, he wouldn't contradict Guo Pushu and embarrass her.

"That's true. It's better for young couples to live on their own." The neighbor aunt nodded in agreement. She was speaking from experience and understood the desire for privacy after marriage.

As for whether it was bought or rented, she wouldn't pry. They were neighbors now, and with time, she'd understand. Besides, whether they rented or bought, these two seemed capable. There was no need to be a busybody and annoy them. If she got along with them, they could be good contacts in the future.

What's more, living so close, if they started a conflict and bumped into someone unreasonable, who knew if they'd get hurt at night? Getting along with people was the way to survive.

Guo Pushu asked, "What should I call you, Auntie?"

When she came to see the house in the morning, the neighbor wasn't home, the door was shut. Now, the neighbor aunt seemed warm and straightforward. Even if she encountered a troublemaker, she wouldn't be afraid, but it would be too noisy.

"Just call me Aunt He. My husband works at the slaughterhouse. All my kids are married, so I stay home and take care of the grandchildren." Aunt He said with a smile, revealing quite a bit. Mentioning the slaughterhouse outright was a way to gauge Guo Pushu's reaction.

"Your husband still works at the slaughterhouse? That's impressive." Guo Pushu first praised, then added, "We work at the transport depot. It's a tough job."

"Transport depot? That's a golden iron rice bowl. But which job isn't hard? As long as there's work, that's what matters." Aunt He, upon hearing that, had a good idea of who they were. Her smile became even warmer and brighter as she approached. "You've just arrived and haven't settled in yet. I have some cured pork at home. I'll cut some for you to try. I dare say my skill is top-notch—homemade and delicious."

The transport depot had access to fresh goods. If something wasn't sold here, it might be available elsewhere. If she built a good relationship, she could privately ask them to bring things back.

Besides, having lived more than half her life, she knew all the ins and outs. As long as they could travel, there would be no shortage of good things.

"Thank you for the kind offer, Auntie. We're just cleaning up today and seeing what furniture we need. We won't cook here for a few days." Guo Pushu declined.

"That's fine. When you start cooking, I'll bring some over. Otherwise, there's no place to store it, and it'll attract mice." Aunt He nodded.

They chatted briefly, each learning something about the other.

Back in their own space, Chen Qingjuan looked at Guo Pushu with admiration. She was truly amazing.

"You came all this way to find me. What do you want to say?" Guo Pushu led him inside, letting down the cloth curtain, shielding them from any prying eyes.

At this point, Chen Qingjuan hesitated again.

But he knew that if he didn't seize this opportunity, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"What I said that day wasn't my true intention." Chen Qingjuan looked at her and explained. "I don't hate you, and I never wanted you to stay away from me. I just... didn't dare to accept it, didn't dare to believe that you could really like me and want to date me. I admit I'm a coward."

"I didn't dare to show this, but I hurt you with sharp words. That was my fault. I'm sorry." Chen Qingjuan thought, when he truly spoke these words out loud, it wasn't actually hard. On the contrary, after saying them, he felt much lighter, as if a shackle had been lifted.

"And now you're not afraid all of a sudden?" Guo Pushu was somewhat satisfied to hear him speak the truth.

Chen Qingjuan said firmly, "I want to give myself a chance—a chance to step forward."

He paused, then thought of the scene he had witnessed earlier. His voice dropped with disappointment. "But it seems I'm too late. Another man has already taken his place by your side."

This was a bitter fruit he had grown himself, and he had to swallow it alone. Still, he was unwilling. This was his first time wanting to touch a different world.

Or... maybe he should go back, take Guo Pushu with him, return to the Chen family, lock the door, and let just the two of them stay home forever, never apart.

Within the high walls and big courtyard, it would be their world. They wouldn't go out, wouldn't see anyone else, and that would be safe.

Guo Pushu chuckled lightly. "He and I are just friends. There's no dating relationship like you think."

She had known Ni Cheng for so long. If there had been feelings, they would have gotten together long ago. Why would they wait until now? They weren't each other's type.

This statement immediately dispelled the dark thoughts in Chen Qingjuan's heart, and he revealed a smile. Really nice, he didn't have to shut himself in; he could still walk out.

"Then... then what are we now?" Chen Qingjuan asked with some anticipation.

Guo Pushu smiled, "What do you think?"

She threw the question back at him, and he fell silent again. He hadn't been happy for even a few seconds before his mood turned low, quick as flipping a switch.

This is also why some guys can only be admired from afar, not up close; only after contact do you know their true personality.

"I'm not good enough for you."

"My personality is bad, rigid and conservative, and I overthink everything and I'm too sensitive."

"Moreover... I never went to school. You went to high school, but I haven't even finished elementary school."

Chen Qingjuan lowered his head. He only had good looks, but aside from that, everything was terrible.

Guo Pushu didn't care about the first two. After getting to know him, she had long known that this person appeared very cool and aloof, but was actually sensitive and fragile inside.

She was only a little surprised that he had never attended school. Guo Pushu didn't understand: "No way! Your handwriting is beautiful, your literary talent is excellent, and your temperament is cultured. Your knowledge shines through; this can't be faked. How could you not have studied?"

Chen Qingjuan opened his mouth to speak, but didn't know how to start; it was quite difficult to say.

"I was homeschooled. My grandfather taught me at home. He wouldn't let me go to school, wouldn't let me come into contact with new knowledge that he considered misleading, against tradition, thinking it would affect me."

Chen Qingjuan knew he was different from normal people and from the new era. His voice trailed off: "Since childhood, I studied the Four Books and Five Classics, poetry and prose, wrote national policy essays, and learned astronomy and such. As long as it was part of the Confucian Six Arts, he would make me learn them. I started at age three; I memorized texts at dawn and practiced calligraphy at dusk, and for over ten years I could not slack off."

Guo Pushu was stunned. No wonder, when she first saw Chen Qingjuan, she had said that he seemed cloaked in an old Confucian robe, like a relic of the feudal era. He was born in the late 1950s and was already a person of the new era, but his soul had been pulled back to the past.

The robe on him was the one his grandfather never took off in his lifetime, and now it had been put on him. By the timeline, his grandfather was probably from the last generation of scholars who, after the imperial examination was abolished, studied hard for ten years hoping to pass but never got to take it. Under the transition of old and new, everything was changing, and the old guard couldn't accept it.

There was nothing wrong with Chen Qingjuan's grandfather making him learn various kinds of knowledge—many people couldn't learn such things. But he should not have kept Chen Qingjuan in closed upbringing, putting it in his head that the only way was to pass the imperial exams and become an official, and that the present was "heresy," forcing him not to contact the new society and new knowledge.

Over time, Chen Qingjuan himself developed contradiction and self-doubt. Forced to walk in two worlds, he'd eventually go crazy.

"I'm a fossil. If anyone found out, they'd want to beat me to death." Chen Qingjuan became timid again as he spoke. He had never dared to say it before, and he knew he wasn't good enough.

He lowered his head, but his back remained straight. Loss and grief still overwhelmed him: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you and said all this nonsense in front of you. I'll leave now."

"Stop right there. Who said you could leave? What do you think this is, a hotel?"

As soon as Guo Pushu spoke, Chen Qingjuan immediately stopped, not daring to take another step.

"Turn around."

Chen Qingjuan obediently did so. His eyes were red and had tears, which, combined with his angelic face, made him seem like he had fallen from grace, downright pathetic and adorable.

"Why are you crying?" Guo Pushu softened her voice.

Chen Qingjuan blinked his eyelashes, causing a crystal tear to hang on them. He was a little aggrieved: "I'm not crying. Grandpa never let me cry."

From a very young age, he had to memorize texts and hold a brush. If he did poorly, he was hit. Even if he felt miserable, Chen Qingjuan only dared to cry into his pillow at night.

"Are you listening to your grandpa or to me?" Guo Pushu rolled her eyes. What was he, some old feudal lord?

Such a good-looking person, even more handsome when smiling, yet he was raised like this, with a sensitive and contradictory fragile personality. He came from a rich family, but was kept locked up at home, not allowed to go to school—that's just plain stubborn.

Chen Qingjuan developed an inexplicable will to survive: "I'll listen to you."

"Anyway, my grandpa died a few years ago, old and bitter." He died resentful, thinking about the imperial examination until his last breath, wearing the robe he wore his whole life.

Otherwise, Chen Qingjuan would not have come down to the countryside and appeared here.

Actually, he didn't have to go to the countryside. He only came to repay a favor to an uncle who helped his family out during an inspection back then, so he went in his place.

Now he was glad he made that choice. If he hadn't chosen to come, he might have stayed in the Chen family forever, until he rotted away and became fertilizer for the Chen family's garden.

For once, Guo Pushu was speechless. Alright, since the old man was dead, she'd drop it.

"If you'll listen to me, come sit here." Guo Pushu gestured to the chair.

Chen Qingjuan did as told. Even sitting, he had perfect posture. He looked up at Guo Pushu, his eyes very beautiful.

In the dim light, he shone like a jewel.

"I'll ask you one last time: do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Guo Pushu lifted his chin and asked, leaning in.

"I'm a fossil; I might not keep up with you and won't bring much novelty." Chen Qingjuan's heartbeat quickened considerably. He almost blurted out a yes, but his awkwardness kicked in, and he always wanted a certain answer.

Guo Pushu said sweetly: "Fossils are very valuable. I've dug one up now, and it doubles my net worth."

Chen Qingjuan knew women's promises were worthless, but they still made him happy.

"Right now, it's worthless, just trash."

He wanted to smile, but he lacked confidence and was insecure.

"Whether something's valuable depends on who's holding it and where it is." Guo Pushu was very patient. "This fossil of yours? To me, it's priceless. A treasure. There's no need for self-doubt."

"Understand? If I ever hear you put yourself down again, don't bother coming back." Guo Pushu laid down the law.

Her tone was serious. Chen Qingjuan didn't dare get sensitive then and nodded: "I understand."

Inside, he still doubted himself, hesitated, and wavered, but now he wanted to believe her.

"You really..." Guo Pushu saw it and was truly amazed. She'd fallen for someone so sensitive; she had to use actions to snap him out of it.

Chen Qingjuan had no sense of security. No matter what she said, he'd be touched for a second, then start overthinking.

"Chen Qingjuan, want to do what couples do?" Guo Pushu cupped his face, bent down, and leaned in.

They were face to face, inches apart.

Chen Qingjuan's heart raced, his mouth dry. He stared at her and nodded.

"Then I'll kiss you."

Guo Pushu teased him, and Chen Qingjuan's composure shattered, his face flushed, his eyes shy and hopeful.

The next second, her face was right there, and their lips met, soft.

Chen Qingjuan forgot to breathe, his eyes flew wide open, his fingers digging into the armrest.

He was clumsy, didn't know what to do, and just followed her lead. She parted his lips and led him in a dance.

Before he knew it, he was the one taking control.

Chen Qingjuan's hand rested on Guo Pushu's waist, and she sat on his lap, holding each other for a long time, not letting go.

Outside, it was pouring, rain cascading from the eaves with a loud roar; the cool air dispelled the stifling heat.

But inside the small inner hall, the heat inside just kept climbing.

Their ears were filled with the sound of water—whether it was the rain outside or their play—messing with their heads.

Yet it gave him a sense of peace, and he wished it could last forever.

Chen Qingjuan thought, he had finally climbed over the wall, gone outside, and basked in the sunlight.

He greedily wanted to possess her completely.

What to do? If he took her home and locked her away, she'd definitely be furious, but he really, really wanted to do that... so no one else would see her.

"Tsk, are you a dog? You bit my lip and made it bleed."

After a long, lingering moment, they pulled apart. Guo Pushu touched the corner of her mouth; even without a mirror, she could imagine what it looked like.

Chen Qingjuan, on the other hand, looked like a cat that had successfully stolen a treat, smiling happily.

His face took on a more human quality, tinged with worldly desires.

"Shushu, let's do it again." Chen Qingjuan had come to love the feeling of physical intimacy, as if they were made for each other. For the first time, he expressed his thoughts strongly and directly, without being coy.

Guo Pushu looked at him in surprise.

This guy, did he just unlock some kind of hidden trait?

"Fine, you take the lead."

But it didn't feel bad, so Guo Pushu didn't refuse.

Chen Qingjuan was undoubtedly a fast learner.

He had already mastered the technique and could even apply it broadly. Every time he would ask, "Shushu, are you comfortable?" and upon receiving an affirmative answer, he'd put in extra effort to please her.

On the cloudy afternoon after the rain, this "game" allowed them to whisper sweet nothings and kill time.