Chapter 15: The Bottom Line Must Not Be Broken

Chapter 15: The Bottom Line Can't Be Crossed

Xu Moxing's sexual intimacy has to be based on feelings, not just physical desire.

Su Lichen still had feelings for Xu Moxing, but it wasn't something he could decide on his own; he couldn't bring himself to act in a way that showed complete disrespect to a former lover.

"What's up? Why are you silent? Haven't we been together for seven years? I remember when we first got together, we also..."

Su Lichen turned around, raising an eyebrow at Xu Moxing, who was cracking dirty jokes while cooking.

"Mo, are you sure you want to talk about this now? Or should we head to the bedroom first?"

Su Lichen knew Xu Moxing too well; after he acted like he was ready to go all night, Xu Moxing didn't dare say anything out of line.

"I was wrong. I'll shut up."

Xu Moxing finally stopped for a moment.

Xu Moxing placed the trimmed vegetables on the counter: "What next? What else needs to be done?"

Su Lichen took a look: "Okay, I'll stir-fry it."

Xu Moxing didn't go anywhere; he stayed right there, watching Su turn on the stove and pour in the oil, then started talking about what he'd been studying before.

"I was just reading. I only know what I learned in college; I don't remember the certifications I got later. In case my memory never comes back and I still need to make money, I need to relearn everything."

Su Lichen checked the oil temperature by holding his hand over the pan: "That's good. It'll help you pass the time at home and keep you from getting bored."

"Yeah, and it'll help with finding a job later."

"I remember you weren't a great cook. Did you learn after we moved in together?"

Su Lichen hadn't known how to cook in college; in the second year of their relationship, they had learned about each other's family situations.

Su Lichen's parents were busy at work, but they didn't totally ignore their kid. Unlike Xu Moxing's family, theirs was one that both respected and loved their child.

But they couldn't cook every day; however, they could afford to hire a helper, which meant Su Lichen never had to learn to cook.

Su Lichen learned to cook after moving in with Xu Moxing, learning from him.

"After we moved in together, I learned from you. Then I got better and better, and they say 'teaching the apprentice starves the master' – I left you, my master, in the dust."

"Pfft, what's the big deal? It's not like it's a job where doing well would steal my job."

Xu Moxing rolled his eyes at Su's back, then checked out his body.

Today, Su Lichen was wearing pretty tight clothes, showing off his nice back muscles—broad shoulders and a narrow waist, looking really manly.

Xu Moxing's mind started to wander again: "How did you get such a great body? Did you sign up for a gym?"

"No, just the occasional outdoor run. The rest is natural good looks."

Xu Moxing was annoyed by Su Lichen's cocky attitude.

"You're so shameless!"

"Hahaha."

They chatted casually and soon finished cooking the dishes.

"Eat more; you're too skinny. You need to put on some meat to build a body like mine."

Xu Moxing was totally speechless at this guy's shameless comments.

"If you'd stop being so full of yourself, I'd have a better appetite."

"Hahaha."

After eating, Su Lichen put the dishes in the dishwasher and came out to find Xu Moxing still at the table, staring out the window.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked.

Xu Moxing turned to look at him: "Can I really?"

"Yeah, there's a park nearby with flat paths." Su Lichen walked over. "I'll push you."

Xu Moxing nodded: "Sure. It'll be a good chance to see how accessible Shenzhen is and try out the city's wheelchair-friendly spots."

"And soak up some sun. You need more sunlight to absorb calcium."

In April, Shenzhen's weather and temperature were all over the map.

One day it feels like fall, the next like summer. With the seasons changing, it was easy to catch a cold, so Su Lichen was especially careful.

Su Lichen fetched Xu Moxing's thin jacket, helped him put it on, and covered his legs with a blanket.

"There's a breeze outside. Take it off when the sun gets warm later."

"Okay!"

Su Lichen pushed him out the door, into the elevator, and down to the ground floor.

The sun outside was pleasant, warming his body as it shone down. The greenery in the neighborhood was well-maintained.

Xu Moxing squinted, letting the sunlight bathe his face.

"It's been a long time since I've been out," he said.

Su Lichen pushed from behind, saying nothing.

"Did we pick this neighborhood together?"

"Yeah, we looked at many places together and took a long time before settling here."

"Hehe, so we both had a hand in it. No wonder I'm so satisfied."

A warm smile spread across Su Lichen's face. He lowered his head, his gaze especially tender as he glanced at the top of Xu Moxing's head.

This guy was looking around curiously. Come to think of it, Xu Moxing hadn't been down since his injury.

Su Lichen thought to himself, "Looks like I should take Mo out to soak up the sun more on weekends."

After leaving the community gate, Su Lichen pushed him slowly along the sidewalk. The wheelchair made a soft whirring sound on the concrete path.

"The accessibility paths aren't bad, but some spots still lack ramps."

Where there was no ramp, Su Lichen simply lifted Xu Moxing, wheelchair and all, onto the curb.

"Indeed, it's only because I'm this strong that I can get you around without any trouble."

"No wonder you rarely see disabled people on the streets—it's partly because there are fewer of them, but also because many things make it hard for them to go out.

Unlike healthy people, who can just go out whenever they want, disabled people might have to think about a lot of things first. After thinking it over, many find it becomes a hassle and simply stay indoors."

Xu Moxing is really empathetic; at this moment, he was getting emotional again.

"Yeah, so we should appreciate our own health. Our health is something some people have always wished for but will never have."

Xu Moxing nodded. "I need to exercise and take proper care of my legs. When you're healthy, you don't realize how valuable it is. Only after losing it do you realize nothing else is as important as health."

They chatted along the way, and Su Lichen carried him twice more before they reached the park.

There were plenty of people in the park—families camping on the lawn, kids running around, and elderly people sitting on benches soaking up the sun.

"Looks like even after getting married, weekends aren't really free."

On weekdays, you work; on weekends, you still have to spend time and energy on the kids.

"It's okay, we're gay, so we don't have to worry about that."

"True."

Neither Xu Moxing nor Su Lichen liked children much, and neither wanted to have kids to carry on the family name.

Su Lichen pushed the wheelchair to the edge of the lake and stopped.

The lake was calm, with a few ducks swimming in the water, leaving ripples behind.

Xu Moxing watched the ducks and suddenly said, "Have we been here before?"

Su Lichen sat down on a bench by the lake, enjoying the sun. "We have, yeah."

He looked at the lake, sunlight reflecting off the water, a little dazzling.

Xu Moxing recalled that there were no photos recording his life in his phone album, so he said hopefully.

"I hope the future me hasn't lost my love for life because of work. Losing it for a short time is fine, but I can't afford to lose my passion for life."

These words made Su Lichen go quiet for a moment.

Xu Moxing didn't wait for Su Lichen's reply. He was simply expressing his expectations for his future self.

The two sat quietly, soaking up the sun.

Xu Moxing felt drowsy from the warmth. He was already drowsy from the pills, and the warmth made him even more drowsy, but he didn't want to sleep.

Xu Moxing glanced around.

"A Li," Xu Moxing suddenly called Su Lichen.

"Hmm?"

"There's an ice cream stand over there." Xu Moxing pointed a little ways off. "I want one."

That would be perfect—an ice cream to wake me up!

Su Lichen looked where he pointed and sure enough, there was a small shop.

"With your leg like this, can you have ice cream?"

"Just one," Xu Moxing looked up at him. "Please?"

That look was like a child asking for candy.

Su Lichen looked at him and suddenly realized he hadn't seen that look in a long time.

Not the kind of unfamiliarity from his memory loss—it was from much earlier, back when they first started dating. Xu Moxing would occasionally look up at him like that, with bright eyes, asking, "Okay?"

And then it stopped.

At some point, that look just disappeared.

"Wait here," he said simply.

He walked over, stood in line, bought two cones, and came back.

Xu Moxing took one, licked it, and narrowed his eyes. "Delicious."

Su Lichen sat down on the bench beside him and ate his.

The sun was nice, and there was a breeze over the lake, cool but not cold.

The two sat there—one in a wheelchair, one on a bench—eating ice cream and watching the ducks on the lake.