Chapter 9: We Are All Accomplices

Chapter 9: We Are All Accomplices

Xu Jianqing came over on a weekend, and Su Lichen was home too.

Xu Moxing had just taken his medicine, it hadn't kicked in yet, so he wasn't sleepy. He was sitting in his wheelchair chatting with Su Lichen when the doorbell rang.

Su Lichen went to open the door, and Xu Moxing heard a crisp female voice from the entrance—"Where's my brother?"

Xu Moxing heard the voice and looked toward the door. A woman in a business suit walked in, her high heels clicking on the floor.

She was carrying a fruit basket and a bag in her hands. Her gaze swept across the living room first, then settled on him.

Xu Jianqing was his younger sister, but she had the demeanor of an older sister. Xu Moxing mumbled a greeting, "Hey, Qing-mei."

Xu Jianqing set the things down on the coffee table, stood in front of him, and looked him over.

She looked him over from head to toe, finally stopping to stare at his leg in the cast for a few seconds.

"How'd you get so skinny?"

The last time Xu Jianqing saw Xu Moxing was over six months ago.

Back then, Su Lichen had told Xu Jianqing that they had broken up, hoping she would keep an eye on Xu Moxing's situation.

When Xu Jianqing met Xu Moxing, she worried about her brother but couldn't fully get what was going on in his head, and they ended up having a fight.

After that, Xu Moxing didn't want to see her anymore. Xu Jianqing was busy with work, so she only occasionally sent him messages.

Now, after she asked, Xu Moxing didn't know what to say and looked to Su Lichen for help.

Su Lichen closed the door, walked over, and said, "Sit down. Why are you standing?"

Xu Jianqing ignored him and kept staring at Xu Moxing: "Your head? You really don't remember a thing?"

"Uh... I don't remember most things."

"Do you remember me?"

Xu Moxing nodded, "I remember everything before I was twenty-two. I have no memory of anything after that. Of course I remember you're my sister."

Xu Jianqing's expression softened a little, but only a little.

She sat down next to him and pointed at the bag on the table: "These are for you. Iron supplements and calcium tablets."

"Thanks."

Xu Moxing thanked her quietly.

"Looks like I need to buy you some supplements too. I'll mail them to you in a couple of days. Make sure to check for the package."

Xu Jianqing leaned back, her gaze shifting to Su Lichen, and this time her tone changed, "What are you standing there for? Sit down."

Su Lichen sat down across from her.

Three people, forming a triangle.

The living room was silent for a few seconds.

Xu Jianqing spoke first: "What did the doctor say?"

Su Lichen said, "Retrograde amnesia from a concussion. Hard to say how much he'll recover. For now, just rest."

"And his leg?"

"Fracture. He should be able to get out of bed in around three months."

Xu Jianqing nodded and didn't ask further.

Xu Moxing sat in the middle, looking left and right, feeling the vibe was a bit off. He wanted to say something to lighten the mood, but the medicine was kicking in, and his mind was getting fuzzy.

Su Lichen glanced at him: "Tired?"

"A little."

"Go get some sleep."

Xu Moxing looked at Xu Jianqing.

Xu Jianqing waved him off: "Go sleep. We'll talk when you wake up."

Xu Moxing nodded, and Su Lichen came over to push his wheelchair into the bedroom.

He said softly, "No need, I can get in and out of bed myself now."

But Su Lichen didn't let go. He pushed the wheelchair into the bedroom and left the door slightly ajar.

Xu Jianqing was the only one left in the living room.

She sat on the sofa, her eyes fixed on the supplements on the coffee table, and the faint politeness on her face slowly vanished.

When Su Lichen came out, what he saw was her expressionless face.

He sat back down in his original spot.

Without looking at him, Xu Jianqing stared at the coffee table and asked, "How much weight did he lose?"

Su Lichen hesitated: "When he was discharged, he weighed 121 pounds."

"I weigh 121 pounds too, and my brother is 11 centimeters taller than me."

Su Lichen said nothing.

Xu Jianqing turned her head to look at him. This time, her look was different—not the casual sizing up from before, but something that bored straight into his eyes.

"Su Lichen, let me ask you, how did the car accident happen?"

"He was hit by a car."

"I know he was hit by a car."

Xu Jianqing's voice wasn't loud, but every word cut through. "I'm asking, what was he doing back then? Why was he at that intersection? What time? Where was he going? Do you know?"

Su Lichen hesitated.

He didn't know.

After the breakup, he hadn't bothered to ask about Xu Moxing's whereabouts.

All he knew was that Xu Moxing had moved away, that he'd quit his job, moved to Yangcheng, rented a place, and found a new job...

Everything came from bits of news picked up from mutual friends—but he never brought it up himself.

Xu Jianqing watched his silence, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly, not sure if it was a smile or what.

"You don't know."

Su Lichen said, "Mm."

Xu Jianqing didn't press further. She turned back to look at the coffee table.

"You know, when he broke up with you, he didn't tell me."

Su Lichen looked up at her.

"I figured it out myself," Xu Jianqing said. "He wasn't himself during that time. I thought it was work again. Later I asked him, and that's when he told me."

She paused.

"He said, 'We broke up.' Just those two words. I asked him why, he wouldn't say. I asked if something had happened on your end, he wouldn't say either. I asked how he was, and he said, 'I'm fine.'"

She turned to look at Su Lichen again.

"Do you know what he meant by that 'I'm fine'?"

Su Lichen said nothing.

"That guy talks so much, can't keep anything to himself, always wants to confide in those close to him, and after breaking up with you, all he said was 'I'm fine.'"

Xu Jianqing's voice was still calm, but every word was like a nail, driving into Su Lichen's heart one by one.

"You must know him better than I do, since he used to consider you his closest person. As long as he thought someone was on his side, he'd pour out all his scars and weaknesses without holding back.

Always sincere, with no idea how to protect himself, thinking that showing his weaknesses was what true sincerity meant. People hurt him, but he still naively thought he was right to be that way.

I don't know how he got through those months, but I know he lost that much weight."

She paused.

"Back then, you texted me, saying he'd been in a car accident and lost his memory. For his health, you told me not to slip up and not to visit for now, in case it upset him. After I hung up, I sat there thinking for a while."

"Thinking about what?"

Su Lichen's heart ached at what she said.

"If he did it on purpose."

"Did what on purpose?"

"Maybe he could have avoided the accident, but did he deliberately not avoid it?"

She said it matter-of-factly, but it cut deep.

Su Lichen's throat tightened.

Xu Jianqing waited a few seconds. When he didn't speak, she continued.

"I know you didn't do it on purpose," she said, her voice lowering a bit. "My brother, he has his own problems. If he hadn't cornered himself, he wouldn't have ended up like this.

Being sincere isn't wrong, but not everyone deserves your sincerity, and not everyone wants to receive that kind of sincerity.

Sometimes extreme sincerity can be hurtful to others too. I know it's been hard on you too."

She paused.

"But before he locked himself in, you were the one who let him in."

The living room was silent for a long time.

Su Lichen sat there, motionless, saying nothing.

Xu Jianqing said nothing more.

After a long while, she stood up, walked to the balcony, turned her back to him, and calmed down.

"Sorry, from where I stand, all I can do is blame you. The truth is, as his sister, I didn't do a good job either.

I know he's sensitive and prone to overthinking, yet I still kept saying things to provoke him. I both love and get frustrated with this brother of mine. I'm complicit in this too."

Xu Jianqing took out a cigarette. "Mind if I smoke?"

Su Lichen first checked that the bedroom door was closed, then got up and also walked to the balcony, and slid the balcony door shut.

"Yeah, go ahead. Give me one."

The two of them smoked on the balcony while Xu Moxing was sleeping.