Chapter 4: Did We Have a Terrible Fight?

Chapter 4: Did We Have a Really Bad Fight?

Xu Moxing only found out when he was discharged that Su Lichen hadn’t taken the high-speed rail—he had driven all the way to Yangcheng.

Xu Moxing was carried to the car and lifted inside, and asked curiously, “Do I have a driver’s license too?”

“You never took the test.”

Back in college, Xu Moxing couldn’t afford to get a license. After graduation, he figured maintaining a car was too expensive, so he relied on buses and the subway, or took taxis when necessary. He never bothered to get a license.

Su Lichen had gotten his license right after high school graduation, and he’d only bought this car two or three years ago.

Along the way, Xu Moxing kept staring curiously at the scenery outside.

They passed places they’d been before, and Xu Moxing sighed.

“Wow, in five years, Shencheng has gotten so much more prosperous. I don’t remember any of these buildings.”

Su Lichen, wearing glasses and driving, replied, “A lot can change in five years for a person, let alone a place.”

When they reached the apartment building, Su Lichen went to the trunk to get the wheelchair. Xu Moxing’s mind was already wandering again.

“I just got into a car accident, but I don’t have any psychological trauma from riding in a car. I don’t feel freaked out at all.”

“Don’t say stuff like that—you’ll jinx it.”

Su Lichen shot him a glance. This guy’s mind really runs wild.

“Oh, okay.”

Su Lichen bent down, picked Xu Moxing up, and placed him in the wheelchair.

Just as Su Lichen was about to straighten up, Xu Moxing leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Su Lichen paused for a moment, said nothing, then gave Xu Moxing’s hand a squeeze and pushed him toward home.

“I feel like I’m a lot thinner than I was five years ago. You’re about the same—still pretty buff.”

“Yeah.”

Xu Moxing’s words reminded Su Lichen of the Xu Moxing before they broke up. Back then he wasn’t this skinny; in fact, because he didn’t like to exercise much and loved eating, he had a little bit of a gut.

Su Lichen never imagined that nine months after the breakup, Xu Moxing would be so thin you could see his ribs.

While Xu Moxing was in the hospital, Su Lichen bathed him every day. The first time he saw it, he wanted to demand how Xu Moxing could let himself go like that.

But he knew it wasn’t his place—he had no right to say anything. Besides, Xu Moxing had lost his memory.

“Did you abuse me or what? How did I get so thin?”

“I didn’t want to abuse you, but you abused yourself. I might’ve become your accomplice without realizing it.”

Xu Moxing assumed that because he didn’t eat on time and Su Lichen didn’t monitor his health, Su Lichen had become an accomplice.

“It’s not your fault. I’ve got my own mouth. Maybe I just didn’t want to eat. Probably just too much work stress.”

Xu Moxing was kinda relieved he’d lost his job. With that kind of work pressure, with only memories from his internship, what could he even do?

Su Lichen looked at Xu Moxing, who looked totally innocent, and felt conflicted.

He recalled their happy years together. It was only the last six months of them torturing each other that drained all their love…

Su Lichen quickly dismissed that thought. The love hadn’t been drained away; they just got out of sync. That love had turned into mutual hurt, and they had no choice but to end it.

When they got home, everything felt unfamiliar to Xu Moxing.

Su Lichen had already asked someone to arrange Xu Moxing’s luggage, so it looked like they’d never broken up.

As soon as Xu Moxing walked in, his chest felt tight and he could barely breathe. Wasn’t the humid weather over?

Su Lichen noticed he seemed uncomfortable and felt uneasy. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just a sudden shortness of breath, like I can’t get enough air. Strange—I didn’t injure my heart in the accident.”

“Don’t say that. Maybe the room needs airing. I’ll open the windows.”

It had been humid for days, so Su Lichen had kept the windows and doors shut tight.

“Okay, go ahead.”

Su Lichen opened the windows and doors for ventilation, then sat back down beside Xu Moxing. “How do you feel?”

Xu Moxing still felt bad. He could tell it wasn’t physical—it was in his head. He just shook his head, not wanting his boyfriend to worry.

“I’m fine. It’s much better now that the air is circulating.”

Su Lichen went to cook Xu Moxing a patient meal, while Xu Moxing wanted to explore the apartment. He had no memory of this place.

Since this was the place he and A Li lived together, it was okay to look around, right?

Xu Moxing pushed his wheelchair, curiously examining the room.

The living room was very clean. No clothes or jackets were casually thrown on the sofa. That didn’t match the Su Lichen from his memory.

In the two years they dated in college, Xu Moxing often visited his dorm.

Su Lichen wasn’t the meticulous type—just ordinarily neat. He washed clothes every day in summer, but in winter he often piled them up and only washed them every few days.

If they didn’t smell, sometimes he’d just wear them again without washing. That kind of ordinary cleanliness.

Xu Moxing was the same. They matched well in that regard: not too sloppy, not neat freaks—just a very ordinary couple.

He wheeled over to the desk.

On the desk were a few books, all related to Su Lichen’s major.

Xu Moxing couldn’t understand them. They’d never been in the same major, and their careers after graduation were probably different too.

There was also a notebook. He flipped it open—it was a work journal, densely written. He recognized Su Lichen’s handwriting.

Next to it was a drawer, slightly ajar.

He casually pulled it open—and inside was a photo frame.

The frame was face-down, the back facing up.

Xu Moxing took it out and turned it over.

It was a photo.

Two people. One was Su Lichen, the other was himself, a younger version of himself. Back then his face was a bit fuller. Now he was too thin, not as good-looking as before.

As the two stood together, he smiled so wide his eyes turned into slits, making a peace sign.

Su Lichen was also smiling, their other hands interlocked, fingers raised, must have been squeezing his hand again.

Xu Moxing found himself unconsciously smiling and stared at the photo for a long time.

But why was it facedown in the drawer?

Why wasn't it on display?

Su Lichen came out with congee, glanced at him, and said, "You must be hungry. Eat, then take your medicine after."

Xu Moxing put the photo frame back and pushed the drawer shut. "Okay."

The two sat at the coffee table eating.

After a few bites, Xu Moxing suddenly said, "I just saw a photo."

Su Lichen's chopsticks paused for a moment.

"In the drawer," Xu Moxing said, "a picture of us together."

Su Lichen didn't speak.

"Why isn't it on display?"

Su Lichen was silent for a few seconds, then said, "I put it away when we had our fight."

"Oh," Xu Moxing said.

Xu Moxing lowered his head and continued eating.

After a few more bites, he looked up again. "Did we have a really bad fight?"

Su Lichen looked at him.

In those eyes, something flickered—so fast, too fast to see clearly.

"Yeah, it was bad. You were angry, and I was angry too, so I put the photo away face down."

Xu Moxing realized A Li was lying.

When Su Lichen lied, his eyes would look downward, he wouldn't meet Xu Moxing's gaze, and after lying, he would unconsciously purse his lips.

Su Lichen, of course, also knew that Xu Moxing knew what he looked like when he lied, but if he deliberately tried to suppress these nervous habits, he might give away even bigger tells, so he simply didn't bother hiding them.

Xu Moxing's memories went back five years, to a time when they hadn't even lived together yet; Xu Moxing might not know him so well.

Xu Moxing wondered why A Li would lie to him. Maybe their fight had been so bad it made A Li uneasy?

After the meal, Su Lichen got him his medicine.

Xu Moxing set this doubt aside for now.