Chapter 34: Change

Chapter 34: Changes

After that night, Xu Moxing sensed a change in Su Lichen compared to the past few months since his memory loss.

It wasn't an earth-shattering change, just little things tucked into everyday life—the way he looked at Xu Moxing had shifted. There was still affection before, but it was held back; now it was out in the open.

His tone changed. Before, Xu Moxing always got the sense he was about to say something then stopped himself. Now that hardly ever happened.

Xu Moxing could tell. Basically, Su Lichen seemed... less wound up.

He used to be more reserved, hardly ever getting intimate. Even for a kiss, Xu Moxing had to subtly hint he wanted affection before Su Lichen would make a move.

But now he was constantly holding Xu Moxing's hand, kissing his cheek, forehead, the back of his hand, making out with him, and touching him all the time.

When he came home from work today, after dinner, he started getting handsy with Xu Moxing again.

Xu Moxing had zero resistance to Su Lichen. He let him do whatever he wanted, and as long as it wasn't too extreme, he just went along with it.

"Ah..." Xu Moxing couldn't help letting out a sound.

"Mo, you're so sensitive. I love it."

Su Lichen pinned his lover down on the sofa and held him close.

"..." Xu Moxing stayed quiet, thinking: "It's not like this is news to you. It's just how my body is, I can't control it."

Suddenly a question occurred to him. "A Li."

"Hmm?"

"Would you ever talk about me with your buddies... um... about my weirdly sensitive body?"

Su Lichen lifted his head and looked at him seriously. "Am I insane? Why would I ever talk to my friends about private stuff with my partner?"

Xu Moxing pouted. "But I see guys do that all the time. Back in college, my three roommates would rate the girls in our class, and once they had girlfriends, they'd talk about how far they'd gotten..."

"I would never. I only talk about this with you. This kind of thing is just between us."

"Good. Otherwise if I ever found out Xingzhou knew something that personal about me, I'd lose it."

"I know. I won't." Su Lichen kissed him.

Xu Moxing finally relaxed. Wrapped in his lover's arms, his mind started going over his job search.

He'd been job hunting for about a week, hadn't found anything good, and was still looking.

At first he was pretty confident.

With a college degree and technically a year of work experience (since he remembered his first year after graduating), and he wasn't asking for much salary-wise, so finding a job should've been a piece of cake.

But after sending out his résumé, most of the time he heard nothing back.

He managed to land a few interviews, but they all sucked.

On the job search apps, the chats went well and he made sure to be upfront about his situation, but once he went in person, they changed their story.

It wasn't like they did a total one-eighty, but a few of them were smiling with hidden daggers, nitpicking while putting on a friendly face.

With no money coming in and no job, Xu Moxing was starting to get anxious.

"What's wrong? You're not talking."

"Job hunting isn't going well. I'm a bit anxious."

Su Lichen was silent for a moment.

In the past, he wouldn't have pressed. He'd just say, "You'll find something, no need to stress."

But this time was different. Su Lichen thought about it and asked, "How many places did you interview? Out of all of them, which one do you want the most?"

Xu Moxing had interviewed at four companies and told Su Lichen the name of the one he wanted most.

"Is it the one on Aimoluo Road?"

"Yeah."

"I think a friend of a friend works there. I'll ask around."

Su Lichen took out his phone to ask around. Xu Moxing was still worried. "Isn't that kinda weird? I'd feel bad putting someone out."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about. I'll just say I'm asking for a friend. I won't bring you into it. Just think of it as hearing some inside info. No pressure."

Su Lichen knew Xu Moxing too well. For a lot of things, Xu Moxing would rather take the long way around than even consider asking someone for help.

This was a leftover from his upbringing. He was afraid to ask for help—he even forced himself not to.

Growing up, he'd developed a deep-rooted belief that equated asking for help with being weak.

Often, this "can't bring himself to ask" had a reason behind it.

Maybe in his experience, asking for help had led to bad outcomes: being ignored, being used as a bargaining chip later, being too controlled.

Those experiences taught him one thing: it's safest to keep your mouth shut.

He felt that his needs were a burden on others, that he was wearing them out.

This feeling of being undeserving made him reject himself before he even asked.

In reality, Xu Moxing wasn't truly independent; he was trapped in a cage of "I don't dare to rely on anyone."

True independence isn't about being a one-man army. It's about knowing you can handle things solo, but also having the guts, when you're exhausted, to quietly say, "Can you give me a hand?"

He also didn't want other people knowing his personal business. He felt that people he wasn't close to didn't need to know a single thing about him.

So he was really sensitive and protective about that kind of stuff.

In the past, Su Lichen had seen this and, under the name of "respect," sometimes thought Xu Moxing was overreacting or even being irrational, but he never interfered.

But now he felt he could offer a little guidance. At least help him relax a bit, learn not to stress so much about things that honestly didn't matter in the grand scheme of his life.

The choice was still Xu Moxing's. He could still decide not to change.

Su Lichen typed, asking a few more questions to learn about his partner's interview situation.

"How many rounds of interviews have you had?"

"Two rounds," Xu Moxing said. "I had the second round yesterday. They told me to wait to hear back, but there's been no news so far."

"Hmm... Don't worry, let me just ask. He might need to consult his colleagues too."

Xu Moxing hugged Su Lichen and sighed again: "What did I do to deserve such a wonderful partner?"

After a while, Su Lichen put down his phone.

"He said that position has been filled. They decided yesterday afternoon."

Xu Moxing was silent for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay."

Su Lichen looked at him, suddenly reached out, and ruffled his hair.

"Don't rush. This is just the beginning."

Xu Moxing buried his face in Su Lichen's chest. Su Lichen hesitated for a moment, then tentatively said: "Can I take a look at your resume?"

Xu Moxing got up, turned on the computer, and showed Su Lichen his resume.

Su Lichen read through it, pointed at one spot and said: "This part is too vague. You should be more specific here."

He flipped through the rest, examining it carefully, and pointed out several issues.

"Revise it before sending out. You don't have to be so literal. Those companies list all those fancy requirements in their job postings, but once you're in, it's nothing special. They're not top-tier companies anyway. Don't be afraid. They're just a circus. You're just as good."

Su Lichen reassured him: "If this one doesn't work out, move on to the next. I'll always have faith in you."

"Besides, do you think you're that lucky? Being able to escape the fate of being a wage slave at such a young age?"

"Hahahahaha."

Xu Moxing was successfully amused by him. Ordinary reassurances never really made Xu Moxing feel comforted, but once he framed it as bad luck, he immediately felt comforted.

Seeing Xu Moxing happy, Su Lichen felt a sense of accomplishment.

"You still have to work and earn a living, so don't rush. Take your time looking and filtering. You're not picky about jobs – high or low – so stay grounded, and you'll find something."

Xu Moxing looked at him, and a strange feeling suddenly surged in his heart.

It wasn't gratitude—it was the realization that he could also be like this. The 27-year-old Su Lichen had grown a lot.

In college, Su Lichen was often very composed and calm.

Often, he wouldn't give any advice, only saying, "You decide. I respect your choice."

So respectful that sometimes Xu Moxing felt he was a bit cold, as if he never got involved in others' business.

Seems like he had changed a bit over the years, too.

The Su Lichen now made him feel... very safe.

From then on, Xu Moxing no longer felt anxious about finding a job. He took his time searching.