Chapter 93: Prioritize Your Own Feelings

Chapter 93: Put Your Feelings First

After finishing the cleaning, Xu Moxing saw Happy Little Horse's message and didn't mind.

They had been online friends for years, exchanged photos, and video chatted, but had never met in person.

"Didn't you say you didn't want to meet up? Said it would easily ruin the platonic friendship?"

"I just want to travel and save on hotel costs, and I can also meet an online friend I've known for nine years. How awesome is that?"

"I'm okay with it. Come on over."

Xu Moxing agreed readily. After all, the sofa in his rental apartment could be flattened into a bed. He'd take the couch and let Happy Little Horse have the bed.

Since confirming the meet-up, they started talking way more often.

They talked about travel tips and daily life.

"Ah, I've been single for a year now. I wonder if I'll ever meet someone."

"Being single is just fine."

Xu Moxing answered absently, continuing to plan the trip schedule.

"Here, check it out. Let's hit up these restaurants, okay?"

"Sure!"

Happy Little Horse jumped at it and continued on the topic of being single. "Being single is fine, but I still want a relationship. Mainly because I have physical needs."

"..."

Xu Moxing didn't respond, just sent a speechless emoji.

"Want to game with SpongeBob and Stinky Punk tonight if they're free?"

"Yeah, sure."

It was around nine by the time everyone was ready, and they played for an hour.

"I'm going to shower and sleep. I'm getting too old for this; I won't have energy for work tomorrow."

Stinky Punk called the game, and the others followed suit.

"Okay, okay. Bye, everyone."

Xu Moxing logged out of the game and went to shower and sleep.

The next day, Xu Jianqing called.

Xu Moxing was having lunch. He glanced at the caller ID, hesitated for a moment, then answered.

"Hello?"

"Are you coming home for Qingming Festival (Tomb Sweeping Day)?"

Xu Jianqing's voice came through, crisp and direct, just like before.

"No."

"Not coming again? You didn't come last year either."

Xu Jianqing paused. "Are you going on a trip with Brother Su?"

Xu Moxing put down his chopsticks. "We broke up. Don't mention him anymore."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. When Xu Jianqing spoke again, her voice had changed—not as casual as before, with a hint of hesitation. "You... remember?"

"Yeah."

Another few seconds of silence. Xu Jianqing cleared her throat.

"Well, I need to explain something to you. Back then, Su Lichen told me you had lost your memory and asked me not to accidentally reveal it. We really did hide it from you on purpose, mainly because we were afraid of upsetting you.

After you and Su Lichen broke up, you not only deleted Su Lichen but also became distant with me. I was scared that telling you the truth would upset you and make you refuse help from everyone."

Xu Moxing listened without saying a word.

"You know how much of a hermit you were back then, right? You didn't contact anyone, didn't come home, didn't even make a phone call. I don't know what I did wrong. It's not my fault you and Su Lichen broke up, but you suddenly became cold toward me for no reason."

Xu Jianqing, as usual, started lecturing him like always.

Hearing these words, Xu Moxing felt anger rising, but he knew losing his temper was useless—his sister could talk circles around him.

"Is there anything else?"

"What?"

"If not, I'm hanging up."

"Xu Moxing, what do you mean? I'm talking to you, and this is your tone?"

Xu Moxing couldn't be bothered to argue further, in a breezy tone. "Alright, alright. If there's nothing else, I'll hang up. Bye."

"You used to be different." Xu Jianqing's voice grew anxious. "How have you become so..."

She didn't finish.

Xu Moxing acted like he didn't hear and hung up directly.

After all, Xu Jianqing wouldn't say anything nice. If it made him uncomfortable, he didn't need to be curious.

Xu Jianqing sent a WeChat message.

"How have you become like this? Cold and distant. With a personality like this, how do you think you'll make it in your career?"

Xu Moxing laughed bitterly.

"Xu Jianqing, stop putting me down and looking down on me. I know you're good at making money. Compared to you, I have less of that worldly success. You think you're helping me. You think you've got it all figured out. You think you're doing the right thing. But have you ever considered how I feel when I hear those words from you?"

Xu Jianqing was stunned, not understanding why her brother was talking like this. She was speechless. "So I'm wrong for pointing out your mistakes?"

Xu Moxing rarely used her full name; he always called her "Qing Mei."

"Everyone is different. I don't think I'm as terrible as you say. I used to think you were right, that I had many flaws. But now I believe you have no right to belittle me like that. You're not perfect either—you take others' efforts for granted without a second thought. What gives you the right to judge me?

That kind of tearing down doesn't help me improve my flaws. It only drains me mentally and creates anxiety.

Haven't you noticed that the way you treat me is the same as how Mom treats us? Constantly putting down the people closest to you, calling it correction but dripping with contempt. Criticizing me without offering any real solutions—that's not correcting; it's putting you down."

Every word was belittling and disdainful, with an underlying tone of "it's for your own good."

In the past, Xu Moxing also felt uncomfortable hearing those words, but he always told himself that Xu Jianqing meant well, hoping he would become better.

But now he thinks that's not the case. She keeps saying it over and over, yet she never proposed any solutions or taught him what to do—she only points out his various problems. Is this really for his own good?

Maybe she believes her intentions are good, but even if her starting point is good, doesn't Xu Moxing have the right to say that hearing it makes him uncomfortable?

Xu Moxing now chooses to prioritize his own feelings, instead of enduring the discomfort like he used to, just because he thought others had good intentions.

If Xu Moxing finds it unpleasant, then Xu Jianqing's goodwill is not real goodwill—it's self-righteous false goodwill.

Xu Jianqing was silent for a long time, but Xu Moxing stopped paying attention to her; it was time for his nap.

He couldn't let these things affect his sleep. Napping was very important to him. At work, maybe because the environment was noisy, he actually slept better during his nap than he did at night.

After being scolded by her brother, Xu Jianqing started to reflect on herself, but she also felt wronged. "I just think... you should be better."

When Xu Moxing woke up and saw that message, he wasn't angry.

"You think I should be better, so you keep telling me I'm not good enough every day? Do you think that will make me better? Or do you just feel better after saying it?"

Xu Jianqing didn't reply further.

Xu Moxing couldn't care less whether she got angry. If Xu Jianqing continued to treat him like this in the future, then they could only be siblings who only contact each other during holidays.