Chapter 72: Do You Take Me for Someone You Can Call at Will?

Chapter 72: Treating Me Like I'm at Your Beck and Call

Xu Moxing didn’t answer the video call right away. He first checked what Su Lichen had just sent, then hit the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Mo, have you had your New Year’s Eve dinner?”

The background on Su Lichen’s side was bright, and the glimpses of home decor flashing by clearly belonged to a different income bracket than Xu Moxing’s household.

Xu Moxing’s home was shabby; his room was actually a storage room. It didn’t even have a door initially, and he paid to have one put in only after graduating and starting work.

As a child, he shared a room with his sister. Later, when his sister started growing up and he got older, his parents wanted to move Xu Jianqing into his room. But because he cared about his sister, he gave up their shared room to her and moved into this storage room himself.

He figured being a boy meant he could handle a worse room.

Sometimes, he didn't expect his sister to always remember his kindness, but when he thought about how Xu Jianqing treated him, it made his heart grow cold.

He didn’t need her to repay a favor, but at least she shouldn’t kick him when he was down.

Xu Moxing looked at the guy on screen. “Yeah, just finished eating. You?”

Xu Moxing’s feelings toward Su Lichen were complicated now. Sometimes he was grateful that this experience had led him to truly awaken and change, but he wasn’t grateful to Su Lichen—he was grateful to himself for waking up in time.

Strictly speaking, Su Lichen was the one who had caused him pain. It was already good that he didn’t hate him.

“I already ate.”

There was a brief pause between them. Su Lichen could clearly sense that something was off.

In the past, Xu Moxing always had plenty to talk about with him. Su Lichen rarely had to initiate topics when he was with Xu Moxing.

After a moment, Su Lichen asked, “How's home?”

“Okay. Same old, same old.”

“Your parents... did they say anything?”

“They did. Same old stuff.”

Su Lichen was stumped, briefly at a loss for words.

Xu Moxing saw Su Lichen’s expression and wondered why Su Lichen had suddenly gone silent. Was he still waiting for him to pour it all out like before?

“You can tell me, you know,” Su Lichen said.

Xu Moxing didn’t respond. He did want to talk—he had a strong need to express himself and share, and he also enjoyed comforting others.

He didn’t think he was the kind of person who only dumped emotional garbage on others, as Su Lichen had complained about to his friends. He also liked listening to other people’s troubles and offering emotional support.

But clearly, whether it was emotions or sharing, it had to be directed at the right person. And the truth was, most people in this world were struggling to get by—they didn’t want to listen, understand, or care, which was understandable.

But to try to play the good guy and fail at it, and then blame him for being too negative—that was pretty annoying.

“Nothing worth saying.”

Su Lichen fell silent again. After a while, he said, “Then go to bed early.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year.”

He hung up and went back to binging a show on his phone.

He was also confused. Why did Su Lichen want him to open up when he was in a good mood, but then resent him for being too negative when he was in a bad mood? What’s his deal?

On one hand he wanted to look good; on the other he bitched about everything.

If he didn’t want to listen, why not just say it outright?

Too concerned with saving face, or not wanting to be the bad guy, so he kept his mouth shut. When he finally blew up, he played the victim, blaming others for dumping too much negativity on him.

Why not just turn him down?

Xu Moxing didn’t know about others, but he wasn’t the type to force things on others. If you don’t like it, just cut ties; if you don’t like it, just break up. Just say it.

In the end, Su Lichen wanted to be the good guy, but he didn’t want to listen or bear Xu Moxing’s emotions, nor did he refuse—or know how to refuse properly—assuming that adults should just understand a bunch of unspoken rules he believed in.

It ended up being Xu Moxing’s fault, because he had unloaded his negativity on Su Lichen.

In matters of emotion, as long as you don't enable it, others can't take advantage of you.

After ending the video, Xu Moxing happily scrolled on his phone. Su Lichen, on the other hand, furrowed his brow deeply after hanging up.

An awful thought crossed his mind—had Mo gotten his memory back? Otherwise, it didn’t make sense; how could he suddenly be like this?

But if he had already regained his memory, why didn’t he just come out and say it?

Given Xu Moxing’s previous personality, even if he was angry, he might hold it in at first, but he would eventually be unable to hold back and talk it out with Su Lichen.

So now he couldn't even be bothered to talk anymore?

Did he think it was useless to communicate his thoughts directly with Su Lichen, so he no longer wanted to communicate?

Su Lichen began to feel afraid. Back when Xu Moxing had lost his memory, he thought they were having a great time together. He assumed that even if Xu Moxing regained his memory, the time they’d spent together might make him forgive Su Lichen, but...

He had been too arrogant. He had underestimated how deep the earlier hurt had cut Xu Moxing.

Xu Moxing had no idea that Su Lichen had guessed he might have regained his memory. He spent a boring Spring Festival at his parents’ house.

Dealing with his parents, there was always some drama going on every day. Even though he told himself not to care, sometimes a thought crossed his mind: I could have easily spent the Spring Festival alone and comfortably. Why am I here watching this same miserable drama play out again and again?

Xu Moxing decided to skip coming back next year.

On the fourth day of the New Year, Xu Jianqing bailed early.

Xu Jianqing and Xu Moxing went to college in different cities. After graduating, they stayed in those cities to work.

Xu Moxing didn't apply to a university in his hometown, deliberately choosing one farther away instead, though still within the province.

Xu Jianqing was even more ruthless—she directly applied to the capital, much farther from home.

Before leaving, Xu Jianqing stood at the doorway for a moment and looked back at him.

"When are you heading back?"

"The sixth day of the lunar New Year."

In fact, Xu Moxing didn't have to go back to work until the ninth, but he didn't want to stay in this suffocating home until just before work started.

Xu Jianqing nodded and left.

Other kids who worked away from home and came back for the New Year always wanted to stay until the last moment, but the two of them both wanted to leave early.

Su Lichen hadn't video-called him these past few days, but he did send him messages.

Anyway, Xu Moxing would just reply to whatever Su Lichen asked, without initiating any topics—basically acting like someone with low emotional intelligence who kills the conversation.

"Mo, I ate this today. I'll take you to try it next time. It's pretty good."

Su Lichen sent a photo of his meal to Xu Moxing.

"No thanks, looks expensive. I can't bear to spend that much."

"I'll treat you."

"Better not."

...

"What did you eat today? Was it good? You once told me there's lots of food back home too, but it's too far to bring me any. You always eat it when you go home for New Year and take photos for me. Did you get to eat any this year?"

"Didn't eat it."

Actually, he did eat it and took photos, but he just didn't share them with Su Lichen.

They exchanged a few messages on WeChat every day, and Su Lichen didn't dare to break through that paper-thin barrier.

On the fifth day of the lunar New Year, Jiang Xingzhou invited Su Lichen out to hang out. They hadn't seen each other since Xu Moxing's birthday.

Both were busy with work and their own lives.

"Bro, long time no see. How have you been?"

"It's a long story. Mo Xing seems to have gotten his memory back. I'm stuck in an awkward position, feeling awful."

Jiang Xingzhou looked awkward. He was also partly responsible for their breakup.