Chapter 13 Why Can’t People Work Every Day?

Chapter 13 Why Can’t People Go to Work Every Day

"What's going on?" Lin Jianyuan finally put down his chopsticks, looking toward the stage in surprise.

Roommate: "You finally..."

Lin Jianyuan: "Didn't the bride already make her entrance? Why is the wedding march playing again? This is a major incident, right? The wedding company is going to be sued into oblivion."

Roommate: "..."

The roommate let out a "pfft" and chuckled.

"You're right," the roommate said with a leisurely smile. "They're totally screwed."

"There are just too many bubbles!"

Lin Jianyuan waved away one soap bubble after another drifting toward him, frowning unhappily. "It's dreamlike, but it's so unhygienic, and it's a major safety risk. If soap bubbles pop on the floor and someone steps on them, it's easy to slip. Be careful when you get up."

Lin Jianyuan had only brought his roommate along for the free food—he didn’t want to be responsible for someone ending up in the hospital with a broken bone.

"..." The roommate said nothing, only continuing to laugh.

All around, the sounds of kissing filled the air. Some were locked in passionate embraces, others cuddled up discussing what to name their future children, and some even stood up right then and there, hand in hand, ready to head to the marriage registration office.

"Let's go too!"

"And us!"

"Together, together!"

An entire table cleared out instantly!

Leaving behind a table full of barely touched steamed lobster, scallion-infused sea cucumber, braised abalone, Dongpo pork knuckle, roasted suckling pig, roasted squab, cordyceps flower stewed old hen, salted egg yolk stir-fried swimming crab...

Lin Jianyuan fell into thought.

He had sensed something was off from the very beginning.

Obviously. He might have a psychiatric condition, but he wasn’t blind. All these people around him suddenly acting lovestruck, plus these pink soap bubbles floating everywhere—it was all clearly suspicious!

But the question was, which parts were hallucinations? Which parts were real?

If this were at the company, Lin Jianyuan would’ve already shattered these illusions.

He couldn’t stand people acting crazy.

But this was someone else’s wedding, after all. Lin Jianyuan didn’t want to cause a scene.

But then, what did these people’s lovestruck behavior have to do with him?

Perhaps in reality, they were just inspired by the romantic atmosphere of the wedding and suddenly wanted to pursue love and get married?

After all, with so many pink bubbles, it was so romantic.

But these bubbles were really obstructive!

Soap bubbles rained down, and not a single dish on the table was spared.

Every plate had several bubbles piled on it. How was anyone supposed to eat like this!

Lin Jianyuan finally lost it: "I can't take it anymore!"

Roommate: "Hmm?"

Lin Jianyuan darted into action, swiftly popping the bubbles in his rice bowl and glass with his fingers.

Then he leaned over and popped the ones in his roommate’s dishes.

Then he turned and popped the bubbles around the couple next to them, who were passionately French kissing.

The soap bubbles burst one after another, emitting crisp "pop" sounds.

But even that wasn’t enough for Lin Jianyuan.

He reached over and popped every single bubble on the dining table.

Pop, pop, pop!

"Sorry, sorry..." Lin Jianyuan apologized as he kept popping.

He knew he was having an episode!

He knew these bubbles couldn’t possibly be as many as they appeared! How could there really be this many bubbles? No matter how negligent the wedding staff were, they wouldn’t let this many bubbles fall into the food!

Just like how, no matter how romantic a wedding was, it was impossible for a hundred guests to collectively catch lovesickness! Absolutely impossible!

Hallucinations! It had to be hallucinations!

But why were these hallucinations so irritating this time?!

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t stand these soap bubbles anymore! His head was throbbing! And that cloyingly sweet smell overpowering him! It was practically suffocating him! He could barely breathe!

Pop!

Pop, pop, pop, pop!

Popping the bubbles was pretty stress-relieving. Lin Jianyuan’s mental stress melted away instantly!

After finishing the bubbles on the table, he started popping the ones in the air and on the floor. After clearing his own table, he moved on to the abandoned table next to him.

—Those guests definitely hadn’t actually all gone to the marriage registration office! It was all in his head, a distortion of his perception of reality!

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." Lin Jianyuan kept apologizing frantically as he popped.

And the people whose bubbles were popped stood stunned, and after seeing clearly who they were tightly embracing, they screamed and recoiled in shock.

Lin Jianyuan didn't concern himself with the guests anymore, because he had finally found the culprit behind the bubbles!

A—giant spider?!

Amid the messy dining table, an enormous spider was continuously spewing bubbles from its mouth.

Its body was about the size of a basketball, with long legs almost as thick as an adult’s forearm.

Bubbles bubbled forth from its mouth. The pink bubbles swelled, slowly wafting everywhere, filling the entire banquet hall.

Lin Jianyuan stood transfixed in front of the spider, a little bewildered.

"How many legs do spiders have?" Lin Jianyuan asked.

His roommate appeared beside him unnoticed: "Eight legs."

Lin Jianyuan: "How many legs does a crab have?"

Roommate: "Ten legs."

Lin Jianyuan pointed at the dining table: "Then this thing gurgling bubbles..."

Roommate answered instantly: "It's a crab missing two legs."

*Clang!*

A stroke of insight!

That's what he thought! How could there be a large spider in the banquet hall!

There could only be—a giant crab!

And judging by its size, it's no ordinary crab!

—It's a King Crab!!

Lin Jianyuan: "Since everyone left this table anyway, why don't we..."

Roommate: "Take it home to eat?"

Lin Jianyuan tilted his head and "exchanged a glance" with his roommate.

The corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl upward.

The two of them stepped forward in sync, reaching out to grab the large, claw-waving creature in the center of the table.

"Blub-blub-blub-blub—"

The King Crab suddenly spurted a huge cloud of pink bubbles!

Caught off guard, Lin Jianyuan was sprayed right in the face.

Sticky, sickly-sweet pink bubbles flooded his windpipe, making him cough uncontrollably as he frantically wiped his face.

As his vision gradually cleared from blurriness, a smiling middle-aged Aunt appeared before Lin Jianyuan.

The Aunt, her hands adorned with gold and gemstone rings, gently patted his shoulder.

"Xiao Lin, you don't need to work hard anymore. Auntie has a little money—from now on, you can just follow me!"

Lin Jianyuan: "!!!"

"Fallen for me?" Xie Yu looked at Lin Jianyuan with great interest.

Lin Jianyuan's cheeks were flushed, his breathing rapid, his eyes wide and fixed unblinkingly on him.

Infatuation was written all over his face.

Xie Yu smiled back at him, his gaze flickering toward the corner before returning: "The [Desire Spider] is getting away now, you know."

Without blinking, Lin Jianyuan snapped off one of the Desire Spider's legs with a crack: "Here, here, you eat."

"Thanks." Though unsure why it was "here, here," Xie Yu went along with it.

*Crunch crunch*—he chewed the spider leg with great relish.

Desire Spider: "..."

"Here, here, you have such strong teeth. You chew so well." Lin Jianyuan smiled sincerely in praise, snapping off another leg with a crack.

"Right? I think so too," Xie Yu replied smugly, a smile playing on his lips as he continued chewing.

Desire Spider: ".................."

One feeding, the other chewing—before long, they had completely finished off the Desire Spider.

"All gone." Lin Jianyuan looked at his empty hands.

Xie Yu looked at his hands, covered in jagged cuts.

The Desire Spider's legs were spiny, and Lin Jianyuan had been pricked until his hands were bloody, though he hadn't noticed.

*Pop.*

Pink bubbles dissipated one after another, and a tentacle-like intestine coiled around Lin Jianyuan's hand.

Xie Yu lowered his head, extended his tongue, and licked the bleeding wounds in his palm.

The wounds healed instantly.

"Hiss!" Lin Jianyuan's eyes widened in shock as he yanked his hand back. "Why is there a dog here!"

Xie Yu: "......................"

That night. 9:00 PM.

"Report, Captain Shi! All civilians have been evacuated! We are currently decontaminating and cleansing related memories!"

"Report, Captain Shi! On-site environmental contamination level is 143. Residual matter is pheromone bubbles—all contained!"

"Report, Captain Shi! Preliminary assessment identifies the target as Class C anomaly [Desire Spider], but we have yet to locate the main body of the Desire Spider!"

"Report, Captain Shi!..."

Listening to the series of reports, the masked man in the center of the banquet hall waved his hand impatiently.

"Got it, got it! It's the same as last time, huh? Only residual contamination but no main body found."

Just like last time—the Time Thief Incident.

Class A anomaly [Time Thief].

Last time, they had clearly captured Time Thief's Mark, but when they followed the residual contamination trail, they found nothing.

Midway, Time Thief's Mark had even dramatically weakened, with contamination levels dropping too low to detect.

There are only two possibilities for this.

One, Time Thief used some method to conceal the contaminant Mark.

Two, it was devoured by a more powerful anomaly.

Since Time Thief's contaminant Mark was never detected again after that, the Bureau has temporarily suspended the pursuit of Time Thief.

Who would’ve thought the same thing would happen again today.

At 6:18 PM, the Mark of the Class-C anomaly [Desire Spider] triggered an alarm.

The field team was immediately dispatched, but before they could even arrive at the scene, the Desire Spider’s Mark also weakened significantly.

Using a high-precision detector, faint traces of the Mark could still be detected, indicating that the Desire Spider was not dead.

However, the Mark was being strongly suppressed, making it impossible to locate its actual position.

Working overtime twice in a row and coming up empty—ridiculous.

"Captain Shi, what should we do next?"

The team in black combat gear gathered around.

"What else can we do?" The masked man with sharp eyebrows and starry eyes waved his hand irritably, extremely displeased. "Go home and sleep, of course! Clock out!"

Night.

In the bedroom, Lin Jianyuan was fast asleep.

The stress toy thief was placed on the bedside table, next to his charging phone, ready to grant Lin Jianyuan an extra five minutes of sleep the moment the alarm went off.

A rustling noise.

The flesh-red shadow arrived as expected.

Used to that creature's nightly ambushes, the squeeze toy was no longer surprised.

Even so, when it saw the digestive system open its mouth and suck on Lin Jianyuan's head like a lollipop, it couldn't help but turn away and twitch its antennae.

"Pervert!" the squeeze toy cursed silently.

But this time, the digestive system, while sucking on Lin Jianyuan's head, did not show its usual happy feeding expression.

"Hmm?" It seemed puzzled. Unsure, it sucked again.

"?" The stress toy thief backed away, goosebumps rising.

What is this perverted anomaly up to now?

The digestive system pulled Lin Jianyuan's head out of its mouth, held his face, and examined it left and right in confusion.

"Could it be because he didn't go to work today?" the digestive system murmured.

Squeeze toy: "?"

As if unwilling to give up, the digestive system leaned in again and licked Lin Jianyuan's Adam's apple.

Then, disappointed, it laid Lin Jianyuan down.

"Why can't humans work every day?" the digestive system said regretfully.

Squeeze toy: "!"

What a stupid thing to say!