Chapter 80 Old Man! Get Up and Work Overtime!

Chapter 80: Hey, Old-Timer! Get Up and Work Overtime!

No wonder the mobile terminal refers to these frogs as "heretic derivatives" rather than heretics.

Because these frogs are merely the "physical manifestation" of exploited workers' resentment toward their unscrupulous superiors.

They are not an independent type of heretic. Therefore, they do not eat and are not aggressive.

They just wander around aimlessly.

*Plip plop. Ribbit ribbit.*

Come to think of it, ordinary people can't see heretics at all.

So, to ordinary people, these harmless "derivatives" might as well not exist?

...No.

Lin Jianyuan suddenly realized—no, it's the opposite.

It's not that the frogs are harmless to humans.

It's that the frogs are the embodiment of human negative emotions.

The accumulation of negative emotions is itself a form of harm.

Lin Jianyuan knows this all too well from personal experience.

He knows it so well he landed in a mental hospital.

......

After the lesson ended, Lin Jianyuan went home with his roommate.

Their newly rented apartment is a fully smart-equipped large flat.

The rent is 8k, with three bedrooms and one living room. There's a master bedroom, a children's room, and a study. For Lin Jianyuan and his roommate, the children's room is actually a bit superfluous.

But it doesn’t matter; they can just leave it empty.

The previous tenants were a young couple with a child.

The young landlords clearly had a great taste for life, as every part of the apartment was thoughtfully designed.

You could feel the landlords' passion for life.

And their love for this home.

Lin Jianyuan was immediately drawn to this apartment.

Although it has three bedrooms and one living room, it’s a large flat. The total area is 220 square meters, so every section is incredibly spacious.

Each bedroom even comes with its own walk-in closet.

When Lin Jianyuan first viewed the apartment, he joked that the distance from the innermost walk-in closet to the entrance was so far you could ride a bike-share bike there.

"Ah. I'm tired."

As soon as Lin Jianyuan entered the apartment, he collapsed onto the sofa.

Going on a field assignment and then attending class—it’s just too exhausting.

During physical training, it was fine; it was just physical exhaustion.

But now, not only is his body tired, his brain is tired too.

*Gurgle.*

His stomach growled.

"Wifey~" Lin Jianyuan took his roommate's small duodenum, swaying it playfully as he whined, "Wifey~ I'm hungry~ Can you make me some noodles~"

"Huh?" His roommate lowered its "head" in confusion and looked at its "lower part."

The cecum, ileum, and colon wriggled slowly.

Lin Jianyuan was startled: "Ah, no no no, I didn’t mean *that* 'lower part'!"

Roommate: "Then which 'lower part' did you mean?"

Lin Jianyuan was both amused and exasperated: "Not 'that part,' I meant 'noo-dles'! Forget it, I’ll make them myself—"

"Oh, oh." His roommate finally understood and laughed, pressing him down. "Got it. I’ll do it. You’re so tired today; just lie down and rest."

His roommate didn’t seem to catch the unintentional dirty joke he’d just made.

Lin Jianyuan thought—my wifey is so innocent!

It’s true that not being human means not having so many convoluted thoughts...

Uh, no.

It’s true that not being human means not having so many impure thoughts. Yeah.

Unlike him. His head is full of dirty thoughts, hahaha.

Lin Jianyuan found it amusing but also felt a little restless.

He watched his roommate walk into the kitchen to cook noodles for him and suddenly felt like following, hugging his roommate from behind.

But—no.

As soon as Lin Jianyuan took a step forward, he caught a whiff of his own sweat.

After all, he’d been on field duty today.

He still stank; he couldn’t go hug his sweet-smelling wifey!

Lin Jianyuan said decisively, "Wifey! I’m going to take a shower first!"

Roommate: "Okay. You can eat right after."

Lin Jianyuan: "~"

With a smile on his lips, Lin Jianyuan took his clothes and went into the bathroom to shower.

The hot water poured down noisily, with strong water pressure. The bathroom was also very spacious, with the shower and bathtub separated.

When they had time, he could invite his roommate to shower together.

Lin Jianyuan stood naked in the spacious, transparent shower, steam fogging up the glass.

The powerful stream of water hit his bare back, like a massage.

In a good mood, he enjoyed the hot shower, looking forward to the late-night snack his wife was making for him.

But then it hit him.

—His roommate also fed off negative emotions.

But they were so happy now!

He probably didn’t have many negative emotions left on him for his roommate to eat.

So what was his roommate eating?

Eating at the containment department buffet every day?

Although having his wife suck on his head for a "big bite" was a very weird experience.

But if his roommate really wasn’t eating him and was instead eating at the buffet outside, he actually felt… kind of…

Pissed.

Pissed!

Lin Jianyuan instantly was no longer in the mood to enjoy the hot shower.

He just wanted to hurry out and bury his head in the pink offal to nuzzle against it.

He threw his head back, eyes closed, and placed his entire head under the rushing water.

His hands scrubbed quickly, speeding up the rinsing out of the shampoo.

But after rinsing once, he absentmindedly felt his head and realized—

Wait. Why was his hair still so greasy?

Was it the heat?

Come to think of it, he'd just washed his hair yesterday.

How'd it get so greasy after just one day.

Did he not wash it right yesterday???

Scowling, Lin Jianyuan went to squeeze more shampoo. This time, he made sure to scrub his roots thoroughly, ensuring every part of his scalp was cleaned.

His wife was all soft and sweet-smelling—how could he have an oily scalp!!!

Lin Jianyuan scrubbed and massaged like his life depended on it.

After carefully massaging for a good ten minutes, he finally tilted his head back again, closed his eyes, and rinsed off the foam.

Ahh, that felt better.

The water shut off.

Lin Jianyuan reached for a towel, lowering his head to dry his hair as he prepared to step out, but his gaze accidentally spotted a huge dark clump near the drain.

A huge—dark—clump?!

Holy shit!

That was!

Hair!!!

That was his hair!!!

How did he lose SO much hair!!

His hair, ahhhhh!!!!

Not even bothering with underwear, Lin Jianyuan rushed out of the bathroom in panic.

"Wife! Wife, wife, wife!!!"

Lin Jianyuan dashed into the kitchen, yelling in a panic, "I lost so much hair!! Hair!!!"

Roommate: "?"

The roommate turned around in surprise, only to see Lin Jianyuan’s face a picture of pure panic and despair.

The next second, however, as if remembering something, he suddenly tilted his head and stuck out his neck.

"Wait, I'm totally freaking out right now! Panic counts as a negative emotion, right? So eat up!"

Lin Jianyuan’s expression started to light up,

"Although it's not as much as when I was at the company… waste not, want not! Have a little taste! Wife!"

Xie Yu just stared.

Xie Yu looked at Lin Jianyuan’s Adam's apple bobbing slightly, still wet.

He had to laugh.

His human was so damn cute.

He would freak out and scream over losing hair.

But after freaking out and screaming, he rushed over to offer his Adam’s apple to be eaten.

Even—getting excited about being eaten?

How could a human be happy about being eaten?

So ridiculous.

So adorable.

Xie Yu set the spatula down, smiling as he pulled Lin Jianyuan into a hug. Hugging his human.

*Mwah~*

He placed a soft kiss on his Adam’s apple.

That delicious little lollipop he'd been missing made Xie Yu savor it slowly.

There really wasn't much—just some food.

By the time Lin Jianyuan realized he was edible again, his negative emotions had already vanished.

Replaced once more by that sweet thing.

Sweet, fragrant, and warm.

Something that made him want to smile as soon as he tasted it.

And when Xie Yu finally released his human, thoroughly satisfied,

he noticed the human’s face was flushed bright red.

“What’s wrong?” Xie Yu asked, a little worried, reaching out with his duodenum to gently touch the human’s cheek. “Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”

He couldn’t keep the Regret Mark activated all the time, so his human was bound to catch a cold now and then.

How annoying!

“I… you… no.”

His human seemed too flustered to speak. So he decided not to.

He turned away, covered himself down there, and made a run for it.

Xie Yu: “?”

Only then did he realize his human wasn’t wearing any clothes or pants.

Not even the water droplets on his back and butt had been dried off.

He had rushed out in such a frantic, soaking wet state,

just to offer his throat to be eaten.

So, so adorable.

Xie Yu: “Burp~”

Even though he’d only taken a small bite of the lollipop,

he let out a big,

big, pink burp.

……

Lin Jianyuan dried off and changed back into his pajamas.

Oh no—earlier, he’d been so focused on bringing a snack to his wife that he hadn’t even put on underwear.

Who knows how many risqué thoughts popped into his head when his soft, sweet-smelling roommate pressed close to nibble on his throat!

And as everyone knew, his roommate had no restraint when devouring him!

All that licking and sucking!

Even making wet, sticky noises!

Lin Jianyuan had been full of desire at that moment!

But no!

Because he couldn’t forget! His hair!!!

The huge clump of hair that had fallen out in the shower drain!!!

Right now really wasn’t the best time for intimate activities…

Better save it for next time!

Next time for sure!!!

……After changing into his pajamas, Lin Jianyuan slowly calmed down.

The instant noodles his roommate had made for him were ready.

Two eggs dropped into a bowl of X-brand ramen. A classic combo.

Spicy, fragrant broth clinging to chewy, springy noodles. The orange-red egg yolks were perfectly half-runny, just how Lin Jianyuan liked them.

The egg whites had been stirred into soft, fluffy curds floating atop the bouncy ramen.

He plunged his chopsticks in, twirling up a bundle of noodles.

Coated in broth-soaked egg curds, accidentally pierced runny yolk, and a handful of fresh scallions his roommate had sprinkled on just before serving.

So good!

Lin Jianyuan cradled the bowl, devouring the noodles eagerly, wishing he could drink every last drop of broth and lick the bowl clean several times over.

“Wife.” Lin Jianyuan slurped up noodles, the spicy, savory heat filling his nostrils, making him sniffle occasionally between bites. “Wife, how do you even make instant noodles taste this good?” he said, gratefully.

His roommate walked over, smiling as he pinched Lin Jianyuan’s cheek. “How can you be so happy about instant noodles? They’re just instant noodles.”

Lin Jianyuan: “~”

Roommate: “~”

I can’t take it.

I want to hug my wife and cover her with kisses!

But I can’t put down this bowl!

If I hold the bowl, I can’t kiss you!

If I kiss you, I can’t eat the noodles you made me while they’re still hot!

Good heavens!

Why must life present such tough choices!

A full stomach really does make you smarter.

Lin Jianyuan quickly replayed the horror story from earlier—black sesame seeds must have invaded his scalp while he was showering, making his scalp oily and causing that huge clump of hair to fall out.

Absolutely unforgivable!!!

But with my roommate around, shouldn't the black sesame have vanished?

Why... oh.

Lin Jianyuan calmly glanced around.

Mystery solved.

The apartment is just too big.

A 200-square-meter open-floor apartment! You're an accomplice too!

So when he rushed out of the bathroom in a hurry to find his roommate, all he had left in his hand was the fallen hair, not the black sesame.

The black sesame vanished as soon as it got close to his roommate.

In that case...

Lin Jianyuan stroked his chin and estimated by pacing the distance from their bathroom to the kitchen.

Combined with the apartment's layout, he estimated that the range within which his roommate could naturally annihilate the black sesame was about a 10-meter radius.

His roommate instantly understood. "I'll go clear the building," he said.

Lin Jianyuan laughed. "No need, clearing the building is too tiring. Besides, purging heretics is the job of our Field Operations Department. You’re from the Containment Department—don’t go taking over our work~"

His roommate’s lips curved into a smile. "Aiya."

"What’s with the 'aiya, aiya'~" Lin Jianyuan leaned in again to poke his throat, his gallbladder, and his smooth, healthy-looking liver. "How many times do I have to say it? Don’t—be all coy anytime, anywhere—"

A length of intestine stretched over, gently hooking around Lin Jianyuan’s neck.

His roommate pulled him closer, lightly brushed his lips, and asked, "So what do you plan to do?"

Lin Jianyuan grinned slyly.

He picked up his mobile terminal.

"I’ve decided to make the Director, that old coot, get up and work overtime."