Chapter 81 Have You Finished Reading the Thesis?

Chapter 81: Finished Reading the Paper Yet?

Bzzt—

The mobile terminal’s insistent beeping jolted the Director from his mindless amusement, scrolling through short videos.

What’s going on?!

Has something happened again?!

The Director quickly snatched up his mobile terminal. It was an approval request submitted through the high-priority expedited channel for Senior Professional Titles.

The title: "Application for the Urgent Development of Toilet Water Shampoo."

The Director: "?"

A giant question mark hung over the Director’s head. Before he could even process what this meant, the internal comms buzzed again.

"Hey, Director, sorry to bother you. Are you asleep?"

It was Lin Jianyuan.

His tone was unusually polite.

The Director replied, "Not yet. What’s up?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Well, it’s about that new type of heretic we discovered today. Even though it doesn’t cause much mental pollution, it’s still not ideal to have it making people go bald. So, I came up with an idea."

The Director: "Oh, oh, that toilet water... Sobering Potion shampoo, right?"

After all, the Director hadn’t reached his position solely by playing dumb and showering his subordinates with exaggerated praise.

He immediately grasped Lin Jianyuan’s meaning.

"Got it. I’ll approve it in a bit." The Director was genuinely impressed.

He glanced at the time: midnight!

Well, well, well.

Bringing Lin Jianyuan on board was truly a blessing for their Bureau!

Who else would stay up late, burning the midnight oil for the sake of everyone’s hair?!

Who else?!

The Director hung up and was about to watch a few more short videos.

He had only been scrolling for a minute.

Beep beep—

The terminal rang again.

Lin Jianyuan: "Boss, please approve it as soon as possible! [Folded hands][Folded hands] Much appreciated! [Flower][Flower]"

The Director: "..."

Was it really necessary to rush it like this?

Of course, he couldn’t say that.

Well-versed in the art of managing subordinates, the Director patiently reassured him: "It's being reviewed—just a sec!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Okay! [Flower][Flower]"

After finishing the short video he was watching, the Director reluctantly switched to the mobile terminal’s approval interface.

He clicked on the attachment.

The system froze for a moment.

The Director: "?"

After a brief freeze, the system loaded a dense, illustrated, 128-page document titled "Application for the Urgent Development of Toilet Water Shampoo."

The Director: "........................"

Hold on.

128 pages???

Are you writing a doctoral thesis here?!

Well, well, well.

The Director’s competitive drive kicked in.

He simply had to see what was written in these 128 pages!

The Director sat up, his expression serious as he opened it.

Two minutes later, the Director: "?"

Ten minutes later, the Director: "???"

Uh-oh.

This was aimed at him.

These 128 pages were indeed a doctoral thesis!!!

From the cover page to the declaration, abstract, keywords, table of contents, introduction, theoretical foundation and literature review, research design and data, etc., etc.—it had everything!

Even the formatting was impeccable!!!

The Director’s first thought was: Is Lin Jianyuan joking?

His second thought was: No way! You’re serious?!

Just from a quick skim, the Director could tell Lin Jianyuan wasn’t spouting nonsense.

He had actually written an abstract, an introduction, a literature review, and had even carefully designed the entire research and development process!!

The Director: Huh? What? Huh?

What is this madman Lin Jianyuan trying to do to him?!

The Director paused, hesitant.

Why only one second? Because in the very next moment, the workaholic nightmare sent another urgent follow-up.

Lin Jianyuan: "Boss, any feedback or suggestions for improvement? [grin][grin]"

The Director: "..."

Though he hadn’t even finished reading the abstract yet, he couldn’t say that.

Because he knew Lin Jianyuan’s personality all too well.

Lin Jianyuan, just like Shi Shaoning, was the type to complain like crazy but still get the job done.

But he wasn’t exactly like Shi Shaoning!

Because Shi Shaoning was a single idealist.

While Lin Jianyuan had a ride-or-die wife who’s kinda unhinged and could single-handedly wreck the whole Containment Dept if provoked!!!

The Director immediately replied: "Hang on. I’m going through it carefully and need a bit more time. [fist-bump][fist-bump]"

The further he read, the more he broke out in a cold sweat.

Because he realized—

This thesis—no, this "Proposal for the Emergency Development of Toilet Water Shampoo"—was genuinely solid!

Extremely thorough! So detailed!

And super practical!

After all, Lin Jianyuan had devoted a full 50 pages just to the argument of "how to maintain the efficacy of the Sobering Potion while preserving the toilet water scent and ensuring absolute harmlessness to the human body," proposing several potential solutions!

...It was clear he really, really loved toilet water.

The Director: "..."

Now he’s sweating bullets.

Lin Jianyuan on the surface: Boss, any feedback or suggestions for improvement? [fist-bump][fist-bump]

The real Lin Jianyuan: You useless—! It’s been five minutes and you still haven’t finished reading it? Hurry up and learn! [Angry emoji][Angry emoji][Angry emoji]

Understood.

Lin Jianyuan wasn’t just a living menace.

He was a high-strung thesis advisor who’d drag him out of bed in the middle of the night to review literature!!!

But he had no choice but to read it…

Lin Jianyuan had worked his ass off to write it, and the task had been sneakily assigned to him by the Director himself earlier in the day. If the Director didn’t review it immediately and provide feedback, Lin Jianyuan would lose it—and once Lin Jianyuan lost it, his wife would definitely lose it too…

But this thesis was a full 128 pages long!

And it was a proper scientific paper!

I can’t take this anymore.

After all these years as Director, he was having a long-dormant office burnout meltdown.

I can’t deal with this anymore!!!

This sucks!!!

I can’t go on like this!!!

Meanwhile.

In Lin Jianyuan’s luxe apartment.

Inside the bedroom, the central climate control system maintained the perfect temperature.

The bedsheets, duvet cover, and pillows were all ordered from that ultra-luxury hotel.

Even the duvet had been secretly taken out to sun-dry by his wife during the day when she sneaked back home.

Now the entire bed gave off a warm, sun-dried smell, like fresh laundry.

"Ahh..." Lin Jianyuan hugged his wife, snuggling happily against the large bed. "This is the best! Baby, you’re the best! I love you so much!"

His wife: "When did you meet that PhD candidate?"

"Huh? PhD candidate?" Lin Jianyuan recalled the phone call from three hours ago and explained, "Oh, that was a guy from the research department I met by chance during our last visit to Internal Affairs. The time Shi Shaoning took us—you were there too."

He was a struggling PhD candidate—well, almost-doctor—who’d been repeatedly held back from finishing by a shitty advisor because he was too competent.

He still hadn’t graduated to this day.

Being maliciously delayed was agony. He’d done nothing wrong, yet he’d lost out on several dream offers because of it.

Besides, what kind of BS reason was "too competent" to delay someone’s graduation?

He’d tried reasoning with his advisor and reporting the issue to the university.

But the advisor only manipulated him and subtly pressured him behind the scenes.

The stark contrast between his love for research and the harshness of reality was overwhelming.

He couldn’t see a future anymore, his mental state cracked, and because of some heretic’s influence, he nearly took his own life.

Fortunately, the Authority rescued him.

Standard procedure would have been to erase his memory and return him to the lab, but after some counseling, the struggling almost-doctor had a revelation.

He calmly stated:

"You’re right, I should value my life."

"I shouldn’t jump off a building alone. I should drag that bastard down with me—a two-for-one deal."

The field ops guy handling the case was so alarmed he immediately reported to his boss.

And that superior was Shi Shaoning.

After hearing the story, Shi Shaoning was furious, cursing up a storm, wishing he could reach through the mobile terminal and punch the crap out of that advisor.

But venting felt good, but dealing with unethical advisors wasn’t the Bureau’s problem.

Or rather, once the heretic was handled, the rest was out of their hands.

But Shi Shaoning really wanted to intervene in this matter.

Idealists simply can't stand seeing other idealists suffer.

Lin Jianyuan, who happened to be nearby, casually chimed in, "After all, he pursued a Ph.D. to do research. Didn’t you just say the research department is short-staffed? Why not check his field and see if you can offer him a job. What if his expertise matches?"

And as it turned out, it really did match.

The guy was in biopharmaceutical research. He had initially pursued a Ph.D. because he loved doing research, but later realized he had chosen the wrong advisor.

The advisor just wanted an obedient workhorse. What right does a workhorse have to talk about passion? Graduation, a job, and putting food on the table come first.

But the unethical advisor turned out to be even more unscrupulous than he had imagined.

Just because he was too capable, the advisor forcibly kept him for five years.

The advisor went out of his way to keep him under control, cutting off every opportunity for him to spread his wings.

He also subjected him to daily psychological manipulation and subtle threats, making him believe that even if he left this advisor, he would still face targeting.

Forget about having a future in the field; even getting his diploma and degree seemed like a distant possibility.

Just like that, a passionate young researcher was tormented into a madman ready to drag his advisor down with him in a suicide jump.

The moment Lin Jianyuan made the suggestion, the Ph.D. candidate was immediately on board.

The guy didn’t jump off a building. Instead, he punched the advisor twice, threw his gloves in the advisor’s face, and declared, "I quit!"

Then he smoothly joined the research department.

Not only did the Bureau help him obtain the diploma and degree that were rightfully his, but he also took all of his research achievements with him.

He even reported the bastard for academic misconduct.

So satisfying!

As it turned out, research workhorses who have been trampled by unethical advisors are truly formidable when it comes to doing research.

The guy hadn’t even finished his onboarding training at the research department when, on the third day, he asked his supervisor:

"The training is too basic. During my downtime, I wrote a research proposal. Where should I submit it?"

What astonishing research passion!

The entire research department was instantly swept up in a whirlwind of energy.

Everyone was deeply impressed.

They were so impressed they tearfully pushed themselves to work harder, feeling the pressure from the formidable new generation.

Excellent! So spirited!

"That guy’s name is Luo Xuan," Lin Jianyuan said with a laugh. "He’s really impressive. I just mentioned it to him, and unexpectedly, he cranked out a paper in three hours. He’s truly amazing."

So efficient!!!

Of course, this doctoral thesis wasn’t something he fabricated from scratch in just three hours.

After all, the topic related to toilet water... ah, no, Sobering Potion, was already part of his research.

He happened to have a ton of ready-made data and materials on hand.

"Oh," the roommate said. "You even remembered his name."

"Because it’s quite unique—DNA double helix. It just sounds like he’s in this field..." Sensing something off in his roommate’s tone, Lin Jianyuan said, half-amused and half-exasperated, "Wait, baby, are you jealous?"

"It’s the first time you’ve praised someone else for being amazing," the roommate mumbled.

"How could that be?" Lin Jianyuan said in surprise. "I praise you way more often! Just today, I said you make instant noodles incredibly well!"

"But I’m not human," the roommate said, pursing his lips.

Yet his little tail began to sway again.

Lin Jianyuan quickly picked up on the cue, pounced on his partner, hugged him, and snuggled him, cooing, "You’re jealous~ Baby gets jealous too~"

He expected the roommate to deny it, but instead, the roommate nodded and said seriously, "Mhm. Jealous."

Lin Jianyuan was taken aback.

The roommate: "I’m jealous of humans. Jealous of the bedsheets. Jealous of the air conditioner. I want to eat you up. Carry you with me wherever I go. Then I won’t have to be jealous anymore."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

The roommate became a little worried and touched his face. "What’s wrong? Did I scare you? I was just saying it—I wouldn’t really eat you!"

"No, I’m not scared. Baby. I was just thinking of *The Little Prince*," Lin Jianyuan suddenly started laughing. "I was wondering, if I were in your stomach, would we turn into a hat?"

The roommate paused for a moment.

Then, realizing, he started laughing too.

The two of them squirmed and wriggled around on the comfortable, smooth bedsheets.

Imitating the book’s description: "A boa constrictor swallows its prey whole, without chewing, and then it can’t move, spending six months sleeping while it digests."

They laughed until they were a tangled heap.