Chapter 59 Offal is Watching

The Offal is Watching

The computer was as slow as always.

While waiting for the slow computer to start up, Lin Jianyuan sat at his workstation, idly playing with the white spinal LEGO on his desk.

"H-Hello," the Shy LEGO cautiously peeked out from between his fingers. "Umm, s-shall we start supplementing calcium now?"

Lin Jianyuan frowned: "Be quiet while I'm handling you."

Playing with a talking LEGO feels really weird!

The Shy LEGO: "Eep!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Start calcium supplementation."

The Shy LEGO shook nervously, not daring to speak.

It just diligently produced white granular particles.

Like the diffusion of snow-white spores under a microscope.

Honestly, it was quite beautiful.

At night, it would probably look even better under the light.

Lin Jianyuan casually snapped off a small piece from the large LEGO and put it into his pocket.

"Eep!" The large LEGO shook suddenly, and the small piece jerked.

The large and small LEGO pieces spoke in baritone and soprano voices respectively: "W-What are you doing?!"

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Why are there different vocal parts now?

Oh, I see.

This pile of bones was originally one whole entity. When united, its voice was deep and resonant, but after being broken into pieces, it became shrill.

Makes sense.

Lin Jianyuan said casually: "You look pretty cool when you supplement calcium. I'll take it back to show my wife."

The large and small LEGO pieces: "O-okay. V-very h-happy to s-serve you."

Lin Jianyuan: "That's a bit noisy. Pick one spokesperson from now on."

The LEGO pieces: "..."

Immediately, none dared to speak.

Pei Shuo, who had just sat down nearby: "...QAQ"

Bro Yuan! Bro Yuan, what's wrong with you!

Bro Yuan, why are you talking nonsense to yourself again!

The Shy LEGO acted like a mood light. Lin Jianyuan just turned it on, working while it did its calcium thing.

The super slow computer finally started up.

Lin Jianyuan entered his password and got to the desktop.

He found the file arrangement on the desktop really annoying.

After frowning and staring for a long time, he remembered.

Damn! Yu Xiuli had messed with his computer!

He had noticed this right after returning to work, but then the landlord called about rent issues, making him forget!

Swearing to himself, Lin Jianyuan clicked on one of the files, hoping to find if backups could be restored.

But upon double-clicking—

Bam!

A system pop-up appeared:

File is corrupted!

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Lin Jianyuan couldn't believe it and clicked on another file.

Bam!

File is corrupted!

Lin Jianyuan: "??????"

Lin Jianyuan immediately turned and asked Pei Shuo: "Did anyone else touch my computer yesterday?"

Pei Shuo: "Huh? No. I didn't touch it."

Lin Jianyuan: "I'm not talking about you, I mean others..."

Just then, that "other" person arrived.

Yu Xiuli walked into the company sweating heavily, looking angry alongside Jiang Chen.

The moment Lin Jianyuan saw Yu Xiuli, he got mad immediately.

Seeing his chance with Jiang Chen present, Lin Jianyuan directly approached and stopped them, demanding of Yu Xiuli: "Teacher Yu, what did you do to my computer that day? Several important files can't be opened now!"

Yu Xiuli replied without hesitation: "Why are you asking me if your computer is broken? Call a technician to fix it!"

"It's not the computer!" Lin Jianyuan immediately blew up. "The files are corrupted! They won't open! Do you understand human language? Tell me, what exactly did you do on my computer while I was hospitalized? The deadline is approaching, and now key files won't open! Are you going to pay the contract penalty?"

At the mention of penalty, both Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli's expressions changed immediately.

Jiang Chen looked suspiciously at the two.

Yu Xiuli, looking embarrassed, raised her voice: "Lin Jianyuan, what are you doing first thing in the morning! Blaming me without even understanding the situation! Have you gotten the facts straight before yelling at me?"

Lin Jianyuan held back his anger: "Who else touched my computer besides you?"

Yu Xiuli pointed at Pei Shuo: "Your assistant!"

Pei Shuo now understood what was going on and quickly stood up from his desk: "I didn't! It wasn't me! And besides, I’ve been helping Jiang Chen with his…"

Hearing his name brought into this, Jiang Chen immediately snapped: "Pei Shuo! This is about Lin Jianyuan’s issue here, why are you dragging me into this? Stop changing the subject and get to the point!"

Pei Shuo clenched his jaw: "Anyway, I didn’t touch Bro Yuan’s computer! If you don’t believe me, go check the security cameras!"

As soon as he said that, everyone knew Pei Shuo definitely hadn’t touched Lin Jianyuan’s computer.

All eyes, that said it all, turned toward Yu Xiuli.

Yu Xiuli’s face darkened.

She had been sweltering in the elevator earlier—what should have been a five-minute ride felt like fifty years in prison, leaving her with an aching back and a flare-up of her neck pain.

All she wanted was to hurry to her desk, sit down, brew some tea, and use her shoulder massager to relax.

Who would have thought Lin Jianyuan would keep pressing her like this!

Over a few stupid files!

So what if the files wouldn’t open?

Get IT to look at it! Why come to her?!

Seriously! These young people nowadays, all so careless and impatient!

What’s the big deal? Why all the shouting?!

Lin Jianyuan grabbed Yu Xiuli’s arm, insisting they go check the surveillance footage.

Yu Xiuli also lost her temper, shaking off his hand and with a shrill voice: "Lin Jianyuan, what are you doing, grabbing me like that? Is that necessary?! So what if I used your computer? I was just looking for some files! Jiang Chen knows about it! It was Jiang Chen who told me to look for them!"

As she spoke, she pointed at Jiang Chen.

Lin Jianyuan instantly shot a furious look at Jiang Chen.

"No, no, no—" Jiang Chen, feeling the heat of Lin Jianyuan’s anger, immediately flinched, waving his hands defensively: "That’s not true! I just… Yu Xiuli needed some data for a report, and I said I didn’t have it, but you might—though you were in the hospital… I thought she’d ask Pei Shuo for it! I never told Yu Xiuli to go mess with your computer!"

"Told."

That word made Yu Xiuli even more furious.

"Jiang Chen, what are you saying?!" Yu Xiuli’s shrill voice was sharp enough to pierce the ceiling, "Now you’re trying to shift blame! How come you, a branch manager, don’t have such important data? I haven’t even called you out on it yet! And now you—"

"So," Lin Jianyuan cut in coldly, "So you knew those files were important."

Yu Xiuli went quiet.

"Anyway, it wasn’t me," Yu Xiuli turned away, refusing to look at Lin Jianyuan, her tone turning snide, "It’s not like I’m the only one who used the computer. Lin Jianyuan, you came to work yesterday too, and only for half a day… no, less than half a day! You only worked two hours before taking off sick again! Who knows how the files got damaged? It’s not like I’m the only one who used your computer. There’s also…"

Before she could say "yourself," Lin Jianyuan was already enraged.

"You’re saying I did it myself?!" Lin Jianyuan lunged forward, grabbed her collar, and roared, "You think I corrupted my own files just to pin this on you?! I had a perfectly good morning, not doing any work, and decided to specifically come after you and pick a fight, is that it?!"

"Let—let go! Lin Jianyuan, are you crazy? Let go!" A flash of fear crossed Yu Xiuli’s face as she thrashed around against Lin Jianyuan.

Jiang Chen was also startled, recoiling.

Everyone rushed forward—some trying to calm them down, others pulling Lin Jianyuan back. Everyone was afraid he might do something irreversible in his rage.

Then Lin Jianyuan suddenly snapped out of it.

Damn! Why was he so angry?!

He was here to resign!

Why did he get so immersed the moment he came to work and ended up arguing with this nonsense again?!

Can’t blame him.

Mostly because Yu Xiuli was just so insufferable!

Yu Xiuli refused to admit she corrupted the files. With the DDL approaching, even if Lin Jianyuan wanted to resign, Yu Xiuli would definitely latch onto this!

She’d definitely force the penalty clause on him!

Actually, Lin Jianyuan’s status was different now.

He was with the Administration, with an annual salary of a million. He could easily afford the penalty fees.

But—why should he?!

Damn it, why should he?!

Forget resigning—even if he weren’t resigning, he wouldn’t take the fall for this!

He had just one thing to say!

It wasn’t his fault, damn it, why should he?!

Jiang Chen, seeing Lin Jianyuan still fuming after being pulled away, hurriedly said: "Calm down, both of you. Cool down! On such a hot day, why go at each other so heatedly? Isn’t it hot enough?! Break it up, everyone, just break it up. It’s fine! Everything’s fine, okay."

Jiang Chen might have been fine, but Yu Xiuli’s expression was still dark.

She shot Lin Jianyuan a vicious glare—her eyes like knives, as if she wanted to carve a piece of flesh out of him right then and there.

Jiang Chen spoke soothingly and finally managed to lead Yu Xiuli upstairs.

The two went up, and the office door closed behind them.

Who knows what they were whispering about in there.

Lin Jianyuan scoffed and was about to go back to his desk to get his resignation letter and shove it in Jiang Chen's face when everyone suddenly crowded around him.

"Lin Jianyuan, don’t be impulsive!"

"Really, don’t act rashly. Whatever you do, don’t get physical! She’s not worth it! Listen to me—once it turns physical, the situation changes, and they’ll have a reason to fire you!"

"Exactly! Wouldn’t that be playing right into their hands? Lin Jianyuan, really, everyone knows it’s not your fault—it must be Yu Xiuli. But you… ah, which files exactly are having issues? Do you have backups?"

"Right, hurry and look for backups! When’s the DDL? Let’s all help him out!"

Lin Jianyuan looked up at his colleagues, their faces full of earnest concern.

Suddenly, he felt a wave of genuine warmth.

"I found it!"

Pei Shuo suddenly exclaimed, overjoyed. He turned his screen around, his puppy-dog eyes sparkling, and said,

"Hey, man! Can you check this quickly? Is this cloud backup usable? This seems to be version 3! How far did you get with the edits? Hey, why not just show me the client comm records—I’ll handle the rest of the edits! First, cool off, have some tea—I’ll order you bubble tea!"

...If he really left.

Lin Jianyuan looked at Pei Shuo, Qin Shi, Su Zhiwei... at this group of colleagues who were so concerned about him, and couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of melancholy.

If he really left, he’d truly miss them.

Lin Jianyuan heaved a long sigh.

The files were completely corrupted, beyond repair.

This was bound to be a disaster.

Given Yu Xiuli’s personality, she would absolutely deny any responsibility.

If he didn’t sort it out, some poor sap taking over would have to deal with it.

Ah, whatever. For the sake of these good colleagues, he’d wrap up the handover properly!

Even if it felt a bit embarrassing.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but mock himself, a slight smirk curling his lips.

How come, even after reaching the peak of his life, he still ended up feeling so pathetic~

To make up for those damaged files, he’d have to work overtime tonight.

Lin Jianyuan took a deep breath and focused on his work.

After a busy morning, just before lunch, Lin Jianyuan called his partner.

"Sweetheart, I’ll be home late tonight." Not wanting his partner to know how embarrassed he was—too embarrassing—he put on a cheerful tone. "Things piled up after being hospitalized for a few days. Pretty swamped, haha. Have dinner without me, no need to wait."

"Oh?"

His partner’s surprised voice came through the phone.

Then, the voice shifted from the phone to reality: "But if you’re not coming home, what will I eat?"

Lin Jianyuan looked up in disbelief and saw his partner standing at the office door.

A steaming lunchbox dangled from the duodenum, swaying slightly.

His partner’s entire digestive system stood before him, pink and lively.

The partner said, "Didn’t we agree on three meals a day?"

Lin Jianyuan hadn’t expected his partner to come.

The fact that his partner had specially gone out of his way to bring lunch made Lin Jianyuan’s lips curl into a smile, his heart swelling with happiness.

The next second, he remembered something and quickly scanned the room.

Then he realized—no one reacted.

No one reacted at all, as though a set of pink offal hadn’t just appeared out of thin air in the office.

Only then did Lin Jianyuan remember, oh right, they couldn’t see his sweetheart.

Too bad they couldn’t see how dazzlingly handsome his sweetheart looked...

Wait.

Lin Jianyuan suddenly grew puzzled. He picked up the squeeze toy and angel eyeball: "Speaking of which, why can’t they see you, but they can see these things?"

Pei Shuo flinched but tried hard to act like he hadn’t noticed.

Qin Shi and Su Zhiwei flinched too.

Everyone in the office flinched.

But they all tried their best to pretend they hadn’t heard.

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Understood.

They must think he’s having another episode.

Great.

His image as mentally ill was now deeply ingrained.

The partner walked over and "looked" at the row of small toys laid out on the desk.

"Because they’ve been digested by me," the partner said gently.

The small toys: "..."

Shivering.

Since no one could see or hear the partner, Lin Jianyuan felt free to talk openly.

Lin Jianyuan: "How exactly does that digestion work?"

Partner: "Dunk them in the digestive juice."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Dunk.

Great! Very descriptive!

The small toys shook even harder.

Lin Jianyuan looked again at the lunchbox on his partner’s duodenum: "What about this lunchbox?"

Partner: "Hm?"

Lin Jianyuan: "This lunchbox should be real, right? But since they can’t see you, from their perspective, a lunchbox must have just appeared out of thin air and floated over..."

Pei Shuo: "..."

Qin Shi & Su Zhiwei: "..."

Everyone eavesdropping on Lin Jianyuan’s monologue: "........................"

Everyone was struggling to resist the urge to look back.

But their twitching eyes betrayed their true feelings.

Lin Jianyuan had to lower his voice, reaching out to pull his *wife* closer, whispering near his throat, "So this... can they actually see it or not?"

"They can't," the roommate chuckled softly.

For some reason, his voice was both gentle and magnetic. The roommate said, "This lunchbox has been altered by me. Just like how I’ve altered myself, otherwise I’d be detected by the Bureau as soon as I step out. Then—*woo-woo*—all the detectors in the entire Bureau would explode."

Lin Jianyuan was charmed by this.

He couldn’t help but laugh, "Are the Bureau’s detectors fire trucks? Why would they go *woo-woo*?"

The roommate insisted, "They just go *woo-woo*. I’ll take you to hear it next time."

Lin Jianyuan was about to say "Sure, sure," when he suddenly remembered he had already signed a contract with the Bureau—he was now part of it too.

Better not casually damage public property, then.

He continued probing further, "So how exactly is it processed? Can all Heretics hide themselves like you? Like, alter themselves and become invisible? Wouldn’t that make them really hard to catch?"

"Want to see?" The roommate seemed to perk up, propping his chin in hand with a curved smile. "But you might not be able to handle it."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

The last time he heard that phrase was... the last time.

Lin Jianyuan shivered, recalling the thrill of being "eaten" by his roommate.

He quickly shook his head, "No, no need. Uh, no demonstration needed. Just describe it."

"It’s simple—just evenly apply the digestive juice," the roommate said. "Then it can cause mental pollution to humans. You can make them see it if you want, or not see it if you don’t."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Such terrifying words spoken in such a gentle tone.

Lin Jianyuan suddenly grew concerned for his colleagues and asked, "Is this mental pollution reversible?"

The roommate replied, "It wears off once they’re out of sight. The pollutant dosage is very small and won’t leave a Mark. Otherwise, the Bureau would have already captured and contained me."

Lin Jianyuan said with relief, "Good, good. As expected of my wife, so clever."

He wanted to pat the roommate’s head but wasn’t sure which part counted as his head.

So he ended up patting what he assumed was the roommate’s head.

The roommate opened the lunchbox he brought and said with a smile, "You eat first, then I’ll eat you."

Though factual, it sounded eerie.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but laugh again, saying "Okay, okay" as he picked up his chopsticks.

"What a pity," Lin Jianyuan said. "Such delicious food, but they can’t see or smell it. Otherwise, they’d have rushed over to grab some already."

The roommate: "Yeah."

At that moment, everyone struggling to resist the urge to turn around: "QAQ!!!"

Lin Jianyuan is eating air!

Lin Jianyuan is really eating air!

Not only is Lin Jianyuan eating air, but he’s also using air chopsticks to pick up air!

Ahhh, is this what they call going all out with the episode?!

This is just too tragic!

Can eating air even fill you up??

Pei Shuo couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, with tears in his eyes, he stood up and choked out, "I—I’m going to eat."

Others also rose one after another: "We—we’re going to eat too..."

Lin Jianyuan, happily devouring the meal brought by his roommate, mumbled without looking up, "Mmm, go ahead. (munch munch munch)"

Everyone: "..."

QAQ Wow!!!

Soon, only Lin Jianyuan and his *wife* were left in the office.

Only then did Lin Jianyuan fully relax.

The roommate leaned in, placing a large mass of offal on his lap.

Warm, soft, and heavy—it felt reassuring to hold.

The roommate’s intestines also coiled around him in loops, his lips gently nuzzling his throat: "Full now?"

Lin Jianyuan broke out in goosebumps from the touch, his throat tingling intensely.

Is it because we’re in the office? Why does it feel especially thrilling today...

Wait, no! There are security cameras in the office!

Oh, it’s fine.

The cameras can’t capture my wife.

At most, they’ll just see me having some kind of episode alone.

But still...

So, so thrilling!

Blushing furiously, Lin Jianyuan nodded: "Yeah."

"Then it’s my turn to eat you," the roommate chuckled softly, extending a snake-like tongue to lick his Adam’s apple.

Lin Jianyuan instantly felt an electric current shoot from his tailbone straight to the crown of his head, unable to suppress a soft "Mmm-hmm."

The roommate paused.

He asked curiously, "What was that sound?"

"N-nothing," Lin Jianyuan replied, his face burning red, heart racing, utterly embarrassed.

Help! How could I make a sound like that just now?!

It's not the first time being licked! It's not the first time being eaten!

Why am I suddenly so... so sensitive...

Ah, I get it. It's because of the camera!

It must be because of the camera!

The roommate nuzzled his lips against Lin Jianyuan's Adam's apple, and feeling no resistance, continued to feed.

Thump-thump-thump...

Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but want to pull away.

But the roommate's movements were so gentle.

Tender and lingering, devoid of any desire.

—Only an appetite.

Thinking of this, Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but laugh.

His vocal cords trembled with a low murmur. The roommate kissing his Adam's apple also felt that subtle vibration.

So he stopped again and asked with amusement, "What's so funny?"

Lin Jianyuan suppressed a laugh. "Don't mind me, just keep eating."

Roommate: "Your laughing is really messing with my focus."

Lin Jianyuan: "How? I haven't moved. I'm so ticklish from you licking me that I'm holding still."

Roommate: "Because you're laughing!"

Lin Jianyuan: "So?"

Roommate: "When you laugh, I want to laugh too. How am I supposed to eat then!"

Lin Jianyuan could no longer hold back. He burst out laughing, hugging the roommate tightly and pressing all of him into his arms.

"You're just too adorable!!!" Lin Jianyuan held a full armful of him, rubbing him like a washing machine.

"Quit messing around!" The roommate suddenly bit him, sucking on his Adam's apple and murmuring, "I'm starving... mmm..."

Gulp.

Gulp.

It was the sound of the roommate taking small gulps.

Thump-thump-thump...

Lin Jianyuan could hear his own heart beating in sync.

How strange.

Lin Jianyuan closed his eyes and tilted his head back slightly. His face flushed as he thought:

Can licking the Adam's apple really sap one's energy?

So weird... so dizzy...

The roommate might actually be a cat.

Another piece of evidence that the roommate is a cat.

Because while lying in Lin Jianyuan's arms and sucking on his Adam's apple, he also kneaded like a cat.

Of course, his thin chest couldn't produce milk, but it sent color flushing upward like a pump filled with red pigment.

Lin Jianyuan, kneaded until he flushed and was flustered, wanted to push him away.

But then he thought, since his wife went to the trouble of cooking and bringing it over, he couldn't let her leave hungry.

What else could he do?

Of course, he had to satiate his wife's hunger himself... So dizzy... Being drained...

Lin Jianyuan fell asleep.

His whole body relaxed like a soft wad of cotton.

Xie Yu lay on top of Lin Jianyuan, devouring him.

Only after eating his fill did he realize Lin Jianyuan had fallen asleep.

Xie Yu finally let go, smacking his lips as he savored the aftertaste.

Human. His human.

His human had been eaten to the point of exhaustion.

The Adam's apple was like a little lollipop, very easy to lick and suck.

A gentle lick would make the human unbearably ticklish, muscles tensing slightly.

A strong suck would elicit a low, hurried groan from the human's throat, vocal cords vibrating.

Delicious.

Indescribably delicious.

Xie Yu had never eaten this before, so he couldn't quite explain it.

But now his human was becoming more and more delicious...

Something that had never been part of his diet was turning into his staple food.

Sweet, fragrant. Warm, soft, and endless.

So delicious.

Xie Yu licked his lips contentedly.

He felt the urge to have another taste.

But his human was already asleep.

The human’s eyes were closed as he leaned back in the black office chair, breathing in steady, quiet rhythms.

His human was exhausted.

His throat glistened, wet and slick, still glistening with his saliva.

As if marked by him.

Xie Yu admired contentedly his human, thinking how utterly adorable he looked with his Adam’s apple glistening with saliva.

So adorable.

He wanted another taste.

He wanted to kiss him again.

Chu~

Xie Yu propped himself up and planted a kiss on his human’s lips.

Another kiss.

And another.

His human was so sleepy. He seemed so tired.

So no matter how many times he kissed him, he didn’t wake up.

Just like before, when he had to sneak through the door crack every day to steal a taste of his human.

Back then, no matter how much he ate, the human never woke up.

Why won't he wake up again today?

Why is he so tired again today?

Crack.

The kissing stopped.

Squeeze toy: "."

Small stone: "."

Maw of the Abyss: "Why does this feel familiar…"

Angel eyeball: "Quiet. He’s savoring it."

Maw of the Abyss: "???"

This time, it was a black crystal.

Xie Yu "stared" at the crystal he had extracted from deep in the throat.

Not numerous, but large.

Very, very large.

It was blocking the throat.

It was infuriating.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Xie Yu chewed it expressionlessly.

Then, he turned to the pile of small toys on the desk.

"What is Yu Xiuli?"

Somehow, Lin Jianyuan had managed to doze off.

When he woke up, he was still in the office but felt refreshed and clear-minded.

He was puzzled until he looked down—oh wow.

His wife was also dozing in his arms.

No wonder he felt so refreshed after waking up!

Turns out my wife was sleeping in my arms!

Lin Jianyuan: "~~~"

Who’s about to be overjoyed again!

Too bad his adorable pink offal was invisible to others, so no one could share this "waking up to see my cute wife" happiness with him.

Really pity you ordinary folks who can’t see heretics~

As the lunch break ended, everyone gradually returned to work.

Lin Jianyuan gently patted his wife’s liver and whispered, "Baby, time to wake up. I need to go back to earning my miserable wages."

"Mmm… sleepy…"

His wife was too sleepy to wake up.

Clearly, the wife had also had a very satisfying meal at noon.

Lin Jianyuan felt a sense of satisfaction—"Ah, today I made my wife very satisfied too! I’m amazing!"

But this damn job still had to be done.

But the wife hasn’t woken up yet!

What to do?

Well, what else could he do.

Of course, he’d place his sleepy wife on his lap like a cat and hold her while working~

Woo-hoo~ Wife!

How is my wife even here keeping me company at work!

This job is way too awesome!

Lin Jianyuan secretly reveled in it for just a second.

The next second: Grinning → Not grinning.

Because he had to continue restoring that mysteriously corrupted file.

Thinking about it, he was still fuming.

Lin Jianyuan cursed under his breath as he opened the file, but a lightbulb went off in his head.

Wait—

I'm not crazy!

So these little toys lined up on my desk are all anomalies with various superpowers!

No wonder they say success brings happiness and money fuels creativity.

Right now, he was both joyful and full of ideas!

With just a glance at the Pokémon-like figures lined up on his desk, Lin Jianyuan immediately had a plan.

I choose you! Go! Flutter-Eye!

Angel eyeball: "?"

Hello?

Does anyone still remember my real name is "Shadow Devourer"?

Flutter-Eye had one good thing about it.

Not only was it a big eyeball, but it also came with three pairs of wings that could flutter.

So, upon receiving Lin Jianyuan's instruction, it immediately fluttered its three pairs of wings and obediently went off to work.

A moment later, Flutter-Eye fluttered back.

Lin Jianyuan: "Did you find it?"

Angel eyeball: "I dug up the memory. But I don’t know what you want. Look for yourself."

Lin Jianyuan: "Huh?"

Squeeze toy: "Huh? Are you kidding me? You’re actually making our boss Lin look for it himself? You’re so ungrateful! Give you an inch and you—"

Splat!

Lin Jianyuan slapped the squeeze toy flat.

Then he picked it up, squeezing it for stress relief, and said, "That’s not what I meant by 'Huh?'. I was 'Huh?'-ing about 'dig up'."

All the little toys: "Huh???"

Lin Jianyuan: "What do you mean by 'dig up' the memory? Does that mean you can only Ctrl+X and not Ctrl+C?"

Angel eyeball: "Huh?"

The flattened Squeeze toy squeezed out from under Lin Jianyuan’s palm and grumbled a translation: "He means, can you only cut and not copy? You don’t even know such a basic shortcut, you’re totally usele—"

Splat!

Lin Jianyuan pried the flattened Squeeze toy off the desk, held it up close, and eyed it suspiciously: "What’s up with you today? Why are you so full of nonsense?"

Squeeze toy: "QAQ! I... I..."

Pebble suddenly: "It’s trying hard to impress you because it wants to be your Grand Chamberlain."

Angel eyeball decisively: "It’s trying hard to impress you because it wants to be your Grand Chamberlain."

Maw of the Abyss was still watching the show, so Angel eyeball smacked it in the face with a wing.

Maw of the Abyss: "?"

Maw of the Abyss hesitantly: "It... is trying hard to impress you, because, because it wants to be your Grand Chamberlain?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Oh..."

Squeeze toy suddenly had a meltdown, its two tentacles drooping as it covered its face: "How could you all do this! You..."

Lin Jianyuan: "Then go ahead and be it."

All: "Huh?!!!"

Squeeze toy: "Huh?!!!!!!"

Lin Jianyuan casually: "Anyway, Squeezy was one of the first to come, and it has helped me a lot. I can’t manage work or life without it. What’s a Grand Chamberlain? Like the head eunuch? Sure, if you want to be it, go ahead. Do you want anything else?"

All: "???"

Why is Lin Jianyuan so nice today?

Squeeze toy: "???QAQ???!!!"

Why has Lin Jianyuan turned into a male bodhisattva today?!

Lin Jianyuan calmly squeezed the angel eyeball and instructed it to play back Yu Xiuli’s memory.

Finally, the mystery was solved.

The file on his computer was messed up by Yu Xiuli!

But that wasn’t the main point.

The main point was, Yu Xiuli had a backup on her USB drive!

Damn! She had a backup and didn’t say anything!

She just watched me struggle all morning!

She must have done it on purpose!!!

The thought of this made Lin Jianyuan furious.

But then he remembered that he and his wife were about to make three million a year, and he calmed down again.

Woo-hoo! His wife’s income is even twice his!

My wife is incredible!

So, you see.

Nothing cures sorrow like striking it rich~

Lin Jianyuan quickly planned out the next part of his script.

Three minutes later, Lin Jianyuan walked into Jiang Chen’s office, threw his hands up, and declared that the files couldn’t be recovered, the deadline couldn’t be met, and the only option was to pay for damages.

Jiang Chen: “What should we do then?”

Lin Jianyuan: “Pay up, of course.”

Jiang Chen: “You make it sound so simple.”

Lin Jianyuan: “Of course it’s simple. I’m not the one paying. I was in the hospital those days. You’re not going to pin the blame on a mentally ill person, are you? I can barely afford my medication—how could I possibly afford to pay compensation?”

Jiang Chen: “…”

Lin Jianyuan’s words were dripping with sarcasm and subtle threats, and Jiang Chen understood immediately.

He immediately waved Lin Jianyuan away.

Then, grimly, he called Yu Xiuli into his office.

Two minutes later, Yu Xiuli was shouting and making a scene in Jiang Chen’s office.

Another two minutes later, Yu Xiuli was sobbing loudly in Jiang Chen’s office.

Lin Jianyuan sat at his workstation, petting his "wife" (a plush toy) while he waited.

Not long after, Jiang Chen came down with a USB drive.

The drive had Yu Xiuli’s name on it. Jiang Chen said, “Lin Jianyuan, quickly check if there’s anything usable on this. See if there’s still time.”

Behind him, Yu Xiuli ran out crying, tears and snot streaming down her face.

Before leaving, she didn’t forget to shoot Lin Jianyuan a fierce glare.

“Oh dear,” Lin Jianyuan stood up and said in a faux-innocent tone, “What’s wrong with Yu Xiuli? Why is she crying?”

Just as Jiang Chen was about to speak, Lin Jianyuan added sarcastically, “I haven’t even cried over the files she ruined, so what’s she crying about~ I don’t get it~”

Jiang Chen: “…”

The coworkers pretending to work but secretly enjoying the drama: “Pfft!”

Lin Jianyuan, after a trip to the mental hospital, his skills in passive-aggressiveness have skyrocketed!

—Do mental hospitals even teach that?

Noted. I’ll go to a mental hospital for training next time too.

Jiang Chen had no way to deal with this tea-sipping, white lotus Yuan.

To be honest, he was also a little disgusted.

But there was nothing he could do, so he just urged, “Hurry up and get it done.”

Then he slunk back to his office.

As soon as Jiang Chen left, everyone crowded around, laughing and asking Lin Jianyuan what had really happened.

Surviving work relies on office drama.

Lin Jianyuan modestly explained the steps he had just taken.

But suddenly, his hand felt empty.

“Huh?” Lin Jianyuan looked surprised at his suddenly upright roommate.

The roommate "stared" in the direction of the office exit and asked, “Is that ‘Yu Xiuli’?”

Lin Jianyuan: “Yes. Why?”

The roommate smirked.

Leaned in and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

Then said gently, “I’m going out for a walk~”

Lin Jianyuan was utterly charmed.

Unconsciously, he pitched his voice higher: “Okay~”

Everyone: “…”

Lin Jianyuan, what’s wrong with you!

Why are you suddenly talking to thin air and having another episode ahh!

In the restroom.

Yu Xiuli locked herself in a stall, secretly wiping away tears.

What’s wrong with Jiang Chen! How could he take Lin Jianyuan’s side!

And even talk about holding her responsible and making her pay compensation?

What did she do wrong to deserve having to pay?!

Who knows what nonsense Lin Jianyuan said to Jiang Chen… Wait, I heard Lin Jianyuan is gay, so maybe Jiang Chen is too…

Could they be in that kind of relationship?!

Disgusting! So disgusting!

No wonder I always thought Jiang Chen was weird. He always said he hated Lin Jianyuan to death, but in reality, he was secretly protecting him.

How many times has it been? Every time I suggested getting rid of Lin Jianyuan, Jiang Chen stopped me and said to let it go.

Thinking about it now… There’s definitely something fishy going on!

And isn’t Jiang Chen already married?

Is Lin Jianyuan actually the other man?!

Disgusting!

So disgusting!

"Why don't these gay men just drop dead!"

No!

I can’t let this disgusting relationship continue!

Yu Xiuli’s sobs gradually subsided. She sniffled a few times, wiping her nose, and pulled out her phone from her pocket.

She had to report this to the headquarters…

However.

As soon as she took out the phone, something flickered faintly across the locked black screen.

Yu Xiuli: "?"

She thought it was a bit odd but didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just her tears blurring her vision.

Ugh, crying this hard must have messed up my makeup!

Yu Xiuli quickly opened the front camera to check her appearance.

She was fine until she looked.

Once she did—

"Ahhhhh—!"

She screamed and threw the phone away!

What was that? What was in the phone?!

A clump—a clump of pink, pink offal?!

Yu Xiuli swallowed audibly, her entire body stiffening.

The phone rolled out of the stall. Just as she was about to go get it, she suddenly realized something.

Whatever the front camera captured…

Didn’t that mean it was behind her?!

Yu Xiuli’s scalp instantly prickled with fear.

Her neck stiff, she turned her head slowly.

"Ahhhhhhhhh—!"

An even more blood-curdling scream erupted from the stall.

Bang!

Without even bothering to pull her skirt up, she stumbled out of the bathroom in panic.

Her heart was racing wildly. As she passed the sink mirror, she glimpsed out of the corner of her eye.

Her heartbeat instantly skyrocketed to 280 bpm!

—There was only one pink offal in the stall.

But in the mirror, there were ten!

Ten!!!

Ten pink, freestanding clumps of offal, silently floating mid-air.

As if staring at her with eyes that weren't there.

Yu Xiuli ran screaming the whole way.

Eerily, the usually bustling office building was now completely silent.

Only her screams and the sound of her panicked footsteps echoed through the hallway.

No!

There’s something wrong with this building!

She’s seen a ghost!

She must have seen a ghost!!!

Yu Xiuli sobbed hysterically, rushing to the elevator as fast as she could, desperate to escape.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened.

Inside stood a clump of pink offal.

Yu Xiuli screamed and spun around and ran!

She shoved open the emergency exit door. With a creak, it creaked open.

Behind the door stood another clump of pink offal.

Yu Xiuli: "Ahhhhh!!!"

Scared out of her mind, she wanted to call for help but remembered she'd left her phone in the bathroom!

That bathroom with 11 pink offal!!!

There were 11 in the bathroom, but only 1 here.

Weeping, Yu Xiuli fled down the emergency staircase, where only one pink offal was standing.

As she ran, she noticed something else was wrong.

Because the exit on the next floor also had a pink offal.

And the next one had another pink offal.

And the next, and the next after that…

It was on every floor!

Every staircase exit on every floor had a pink offal standing there!

And each one was positioned right in front of the exit, perfectly blocking it!

She couldn't even retreat from the emergency exit halfway through!

Yu Xiuli: "Aah!"

The pink offal wasn't the most terrifying part—after all, Yu Xiuli often saw such fresh pink offal when shopping at the market.

What was truly horrifying was that this pile of offal stood there suspended in midair, just like a human anatomy atlas.

It was as if a person stripped of skin and muscle was silently watching her, watching her...

Yu Xiuli felt her vision kept blurring and darkening.

Finally, she couldn't bear the intense shock and fainted.

When Yu Xiuli woke up, she hoped with all her heart she was already in a hospital.

She wished for a calm, professional doctor standing before her, telling her that she had hallucinated due to the stress from arguing with someone at work. That this was a work-related injury and the two people who had provoked her should apologize and compensate her.

But no such luck.

The moment Yu Xiuli opened her eyes.

She saw yet another massive pile of pink offal.

One lump, two lumps, three lumps...

Over a hundred lumps of pink offal, overlapping like a texture glitch, packed the entire stairwell.

The pink offal actually did nothing.

It didn’t even touch her.

Nor did it project any mental corruption.

Over a hundred lumps of pink offal simply pressed silently around her.

Like a slaughterhouse nightmare.

"Aaaaaaaaaaah—"

Yu Xiuli finally couldn’t take the horror and fainted once more.

Then woke up again to find herself surrounded by over two hundred lumps of pink offal.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah————"

This time, there were over three hundred lumps.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!————————"

This time, over four hundred.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!————————"

Over five hundred.

Yu Xiuli: "......"

Yu Xiuli had a complete mental breakdown.