Chapter 57 Apoptosis

Chapter 57 Apoptosis

Lin Jianyuan was stunned.

He opened the contract and saw an astonishing figure in the compensation section!

"1, 2, 3, 4... 5..." Lin Jianyuan's fingers trembled as he counted.

He finally reached the last digit, "...6."

Six digits!

Six digits!!!

Lin Jianyuan thought he was seeing things and couldn't believe it.

He rubbed his eyes hard and counted again.

It wasn’t actually hard to count.

100,000.

Next to it was the amount written out in formal Chinese numerals:

拾万 (One Hundred Thousand).

100,000!!!

Wait, was this the monthly or annual salary??

Lin Jianyuan nervously checked the details again.

Monthly salary.

It was the monthly salary!

A monthly salary of 100,000!

And that didn’t even include performance bonuses!

Performance bonuses were extra money!

For some reason, Lin Jianyuan’s mind went blank, and he wondered if this was "buying my life money"??

How much work was involved??

Lin Jianyuan quickly flipped to the "Job Responsibilities" section.

He was immediately dumbfounded.

Minimum of four shifts per month.

As this position involves direct contact with heretics, the employee is at risk of exposure to contaminants, and will therefore receive an additional psychological hazard pay.

The psychological hazard pay wasn’t much.

10,000.

10,000 per shift.

Four shifts a month would be 40,000.

Adding it up, that’s 140,000.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Heh, he really was losing his grip.

He actually said a 10,000-per-shift subsidy was "not much."

Lin Jianyuan was overwhelmed. He grabbed his roommate and said, shakily, "Babe, come take a look... See if I have a fever. Or if I... what’s it called, is my sanity dropping?"

"?" His roommate didn’t understand what he was saying, but still extended a warm, soft intestine to touch his cheek and forehead.

Then he said, "No, you don’t. What’s wrong?"

"Then am I dreaming?" Lin Jianyuan muttered. "Or did I take too much antipsychotic medication and am hallucinating again... No, I’m not mentally ill, and I didn’t take any medicine today..."

His roommate seemed to understand something and said amusedly, "This is real."

"It’s too unreal... 140,000 a month!!!" Lin Jianyuan woke up from his trance and quickly grabbed his roommate’s contract to check.

His roommate’s contract was slightly different, mainly in the job responsibilities.

Lin Jianyuan belonged to the "Field Operations Team," while his roommate was part of the "Containment Department."

His roommate’s income was even more outrageous.

200,000 a month.

200,000!!!

My god, was he dreaming?

No, probably not.

Because he wouldn’t even dare to dream this big!!!

Lin Jianyuan gasped in shock.

He decisively dialed Shi Shaoning’s number.

"Hey." Shi Shaoning’s tone was as irritable as ever.

"Man, I need to ask you something." Lin Jianyuan swallowed nervously and cautiously asked, "Your bureau, really, uh, didn’t screw up my contract, did you?"

It was just way too unreal. He really couldn’t believe it.

Even with one less zero, he would still think this income was a lot.

After all, it only required four shifts a month!

With such a minimal workload, even 10,000 a month would be plenty!

But the contract had an entire zero more! A whole extra zero!!!

"Right." Shi Shaoning confirmed. "You get 100,000, Evil Domain gets 200,000. What, not enough for you?"

"No, no, no!" Lin Jianyuan stammered pathetically, "It’s not too little! It’s too much! So much that I can’t believe it!"

"Indeed it's a lot. The field team's income usually isn't this high." Shi Shaoning snorted coldly. "Who told you your wife is a heretic, and an S-class combat heretic at that?"

Who told him their Bureau's 100,000-strong force couldn't breach his wife's defenses?

Moreover, after being recruited, she can be utilized by the Bureau.

She has an insta-kill effect on all heretics below S-class.

Three million a year, just consider it buying a nuke (heretic-specific).

Not a loss.

In fact, it even feels like a great deal.

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Alright, alright, so he's also riding his wife's coattails.

But he was still curious and couldn't help asking, "May I ask..."

Shi Shaoning: "100,000."

Lin Jianyuan: "Huh?"

Shi Shaoning: "Same as you, 100,000 salary, plus extra for assignments. I have a Senior Professional Title. You're getting a special duty allowance because of your... because of Evil Domain, so it's also 100,000."

Lin Jianyuan: "Oh, oh."

Shi Shaoning: "Don't feel guilty about this money. You're the primary point of responsibility for Evil Domain. If an S-level heretic goes out of control, the losses would far exceed this. You have to keep her in check."

Lin Jianyuan paused.

Said: "Understood."

Shi Shaoning said lightly, "Anything else?"

Lin Jianyuan: "No."

Shi Shaoning: "Hanging up."

Shi Shaoning hung up.

Lin Jianyuan looked at the two contracts on the table, each offering over a million in annual salary, and still felt it was unreal.

Wait, not two millions.

One was over a million, the other over two million!

Him and his wife! Combined over three million!!!

No, how did it become over three million? Huh?

How so sudden??

This sense of unreality was even stronger than when he found out he wasn't mentally ill!

Stronger than his wife really being a pink offal!

After all, that's!

Over three million!!!

"What did he say?" His roommate leaned over, his warm, soft throat nuzzling against him. "What did he say to turn you into a fool?"

Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but smile.

Reached out and squeezed his roommate's gallbladder.

Really, this was too amusing.

He actually felt that his pink-offal roommate was warmer and more real than the two contracts on the table.

It made him unsure whether he was mentally ill or not.

Lin Jianyuan told his roommate what Shi Shaoning said.

He expected his roommate to coo something like "I'll always listen to you" or "As long as you're here, I won't cause trouble."

Unexpectedly, his roommate said: "He gets 100,000? Then why did he only give me a 1000 kickback?"

"Huh?!" Lin Jianyuan was shocked. "What kickback? What 1000?"

Roommate: "Because I caught two Class A's on the roadside before and asked Shi Shaoning for a kickback. I asked for 80%, and they ended up sending 1600. So the original price for one Class A must be 1000."

Lin Jianyuan: "???"

Lin Jianyuan felt his brain couldn't process this. He raised his hand and said, "Wait. Let me sort this out."

Kickback? His wife actually asked the Bureau for a kickback?!

What kind of world is this where heretics engage in underhanded schemes?!

How does a top-tier threat catch low-level targets on the roadside and then sell them back to the Bureau for a kickback?!

Wait, 1600.

His wife risked taking a kickback from the Bureau, could it be because—

"Phone?" Lin Jianyuan suddenly asked.

"Mm." His roommate nodded. "I was saving for a phone that time. The phone was 1559, so 1600 left 41. That's why I came up short paying you back after going to the supermarket that time."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Lin Jianyuan looked at the digestive system in front of him.

His heart suddenly clenched.

Oh god!

Oh god...

Lin Jianyuan's heart suddenly softened unbearably. He couldn't help but reach out and hug his roommate, whispering softly, "Wife..."

"Hmm? What's wrong again?" His roommate smiled, leaning in again to kiss him on the lips, saying, "You're all over the place emotionally lately. Why?"

God.

He doesn't understand.

He doesn't even understand why I'm touched...

He really is a silly heretic who doesn't understand human emotions...

Lin Jianyuan's heart had melted into a puddle of warm water.

He couldn't help but hold his partner tighter, nuzzling against her throat with the tip of his nose.

His partner seemed very ticklish, laughing as she wriggled and squirmed, trying to dodge in his arms.

"What are you doing? That tickles."

"I love you."

"I know."

"I adore you. I adore you to death, my dear."

"Ah..."

"What's with the 'ah'?"

"You made me hungry."

"?"

"I want to eat you again."

Lin Jianyuan's lower abdomen tightened, but having been clued in about how things work, he now knew that his partner's so-called "eating" wasn't the same as the "eating" among gay men.

So he leaned in without hesitation, their lips brushing as he said, "Go ahead and eat."

"Such small nibbles like this are too little," his partner said, sounding unexpectedly coy. "I want to take a bigger bite. But you might not be able to handle it."

Whoosh!

Blood rushed to his crotch. Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but have lustful thoughts again.

"If you want to eat..." Lin Jianyuan felt his breath grow hot and heavy, "eat."

The reason he could feel the heat was because he was pressed up against his partner.

Their lips were almost touching, only parting briefly when they spoke.

And he could hardly bear even this brief separation.

He wanted to kiss his partner fiercely—deeply, passionately, lewdly, wantonly.

He wanted to do things even more intimate than kissing with his partner.

"If you want to eat, then eat..." Lin Jianyuan whispered with a sigh.

He gently kissed his partner's lips.

"Then, I'm going to eat."

His partner's tone was filled with laughter, the end of his words noticeably rising.

He was clearly in a very, very good mood.

Lin Jianyuan smiled adoringly.

He had already steeled himself for a weird scenario.

Then, he watched as his partner opened his mouth.

He stared as his partner's mouth grew bigger and bigger and bigger, so big that he could see every inch of the inside of his mouth, so big that he could see down into the throat, deep down inside, so big—

So big! It was unimaginable!!!

Then, his vision went dark before Lin Jianyuan's eyes.

His partner took a big bite, encompassing his head in his mouth.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Lin Jianyuan: "?!?!?!"

Huh?

Wait?!?!?!

What the—The bizarre scene he had mentally prepared for wasn't this one???!!!

It was too close.

He felt the softness of his partner's oral mucosa rubbing against his cheeks and forehead. The muscles moving.

It was too deep.

He heard the gulping sounds as his partner gulped down negative emotions with gusto.

Gulp.

Gulp.

Thump-thump.

Thumpa-thumpa-thump!

Lin Jianyuan's heart hammered wildly!

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

N-no way?

How could this make him feel excited?

His entire head was enveloped in his partner's mouth, and everything was completely dark—no, as his eyes adjusted, he realized there was actually a little bit of light.

A faint light shone through the stretched pink lining of his partner's throat, reaching Lin Jianyuan's retina.

What a bizarre sight!

This strange sensation of having his entire head encased in a mouth, surrounded by throat muscles!

Holy shit.

So this is what he meant by a big bite!

Is this what my roommate meant by "eating him up in big bites"?!

So it's literally true!

That’s one huge bite!!!

Thump thump thump thump!

Something even more terrifying happened.

Lin Jianyuan realized that while he was being devoured by his roommate, frozen stiff...

Not only was his heart racing,

he also felt tightness in his chest, flushed cheeks, a tingling scalp, and dizziness.

Wait.

No way?

Is it... is he actually...

Could he actually be turned on from being "eaten" like this by his roommate?!

"...?" The roommate suddenly stopped eating and let go.

Then gently patted Lin Jianyuan's wet face with his duodenum.

He asked, puzzled, "Why aren't you breathing?"

Lin Jianyuan: "What...?"

Lin Jianyuan was dizzy.

For a moment, he couldn't even understand what his roommate was saying. All he could do was ask blankly, "...Huh?"

"Don't humans need to breathe?"

The roommate tapped the tip of his nose with his duodenum.

Seemingly feeling that wasn't enough, he leaned closer and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Don't humans die if they stop breathing?" the roommate said. "Why are you holding your breath in my throat?"

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

??????

What?! Wait—I could breathe this whole time?!

Wait, so he wasn't suffocating because his roommate had gulped him down!

It was... it was because... he himself... he’d accidentally forgotten to breathe?!

Him? A formerly straight guy?

He was so into being eaten by his roommate that he forgot to breathe?!!!

Lin Jianyuan: "."

His energy just drained away.

"What's wrong? You're not happy even when I really eat you."

The roommate said with a laugh and pinched his nose with his duodenum, then pinched his cheek.

As if soothing a pouting puppy.

"Nothing, I just feel like I'm done for."

Lin Jianyuan covered his head in despair.

"My kinks are getting weirder and weirder. Aghhh."

Suddenly, his phone rang. Shi Shaoning called again.

"Meet at your place at 5 a.m. tomorrow. I'll take you to the Bureau's orientation training."

Shi Shaoning's tone sounded totally dead inside already.

Lin Jianyuan instinctively exclaimed, "Holy shit! Wait, 5 a.m.?! Are you serious?! Do even the Bureau's donkeys wake up that early?"

Shi Shaoning said through gritted teeth, "Not the Bureau—it's my damn film crew. That idiot director suddenly rescheduled again. I have to rush back to the set early tomorrow morning and film all day..."

Only then did Lin Jianyuan remember that Shi Shaoning was still a rising star.

Wow, being a celebrity by day and saving the world by night.

What a hectic life.

But then again, being a celebrity is a lucrative job.

For Shi Shaoning, the Bureau salary probably isn't particularly high.

Seems like he's really passionate about both jobs.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be so unwilling to drop either one.

Lin Jianyuan remembered Shi Shaoning saying, "Acting is my dream."

What about the Bureau?

Is that also his dream?

Lin Jianyuan suddenly remembered his roommate's question about kickbacks, so he casually skimmed the contract.

He noticed the contract didn't clearly specify performance metrics for containing heretics.

Since Shi Shaoning hadn't hung up yet, Lin Jianyuan asked him about it.

Shi Shaoning's reply was: "None."

Lin Jianyuan: "Then what about the kickback you gave my wife?"

Shi Shaoning suddenly snapped: "That was my own money! All to catch that Class S heretic!"

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Just as Lin Jianyuan was about to praise his noble intentions, Shi Shaoning fiercely added:

"I already reported it to the higher-ups! It's so damn annoying! Fuck, I finally got promoted to A-rank, and then your wife turns around and dumps two A-level heretics on me! Do you have any idea how many words I had to write in that report to explain this? Do you even know?!"

Lin Jianyuan: "."

"Got it."

The contract stated that promotions at the Bureau depend on capturing heretics.

Shi Shaoning had just been promoted when his roommate pushed two heretics on him.

No wonder he had to write an explanation.

No wonder he had to cover the cost himself.

After all, his wife didn’t provide an invoice, so Shi Shaoning couldn’t even go through the reimbursement process. "Hahahaha."

That night,

Lin Jianyuan lined up the *little toys* neatly on the table.

—Just kidding. These aren’t actually *little toys*!

These are heretics!

Talking, sentient heretics!

How can I keep these in the bedroom?

If they’re in the bedroom, how am I supposed to have fun with my wife?

"...Speaking of which." Lin Jianyuan closed the door and suddenly seemed to remember something. He turned back and asked his roommate, "Were they here all those times you used to sneak into my room in the dark and suck me?"

The roommate was lying on the bed scrolling through Xiaohongshu.

Appendix swayed like a cat’s tail, her stomach gurgling—she had been fed very well by Lin Jianyuan.

The roommate said, "They were."

Lin Jianyuan walked over and grabbed her throat. "Doesn't it embarrass you at all? Huh? Not shy at all?"

"Why should I be shy about eating?" the roommate asked.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Well, he really couldn’t answer that.

Even though he found his roommate’s feeding process a bit too risqué.

But to her, she really was just eating.

Is this what they call a clash of values between couples?

Lin Jianyuan shook his head.

That said, his roommate’s throat was really nice to feel.

Soft and cool, it would warm up to his body temperature after a while. Until it grew warm.

It was just… a little erotic.

And the fact that it was her throat made it even more charged…

Lin Jianyuan’s thumb slowly stroked his roommate’s throat, the pad of his finger registering a strangely cool sensation.

The feeling was astonishingly good; he never tired of it.

As he kept stroking, Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but lean in for a kiss.

The roommate was ticklish and tried to pull away.

Lin Jianyuan held her down and commanded, "Hold still."

"But it’s so ticklish," the roommate murmured with a laugh.

Lin Jianyuan said sternly, "You'll have to bear it. I’m going to kiss you."

The roommate went quiet for a moment, then suddenly breathed out softly. "Okay~"

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Thud!

Thud-thud!

Shit. His heart.

His heart was racing again.

When his heart raced, he went weak.

Lin Jianyuan could no longer be stern with his roommate.

Since he couldn’t command her sternly, he could only press his soft lips to hers.

Chu~

One kiss led to another.

Chu~

More kisses.

Chu~

Chu~

…

The two of them held each other close, wrapped up in each other.

In the bedroom, they kissed, oblivious to everything.

As they kissed, Lin Jianyuan began wondering about a very serious question.

Were they going to stay platonic like this?

Just keep kissing?

Not take it further?

...Alright. Before today, he definitely would have wanted to.

Or rather, up until his roommate "took a huge bite" of him, he would have wanted to.

But after being "taken a huge bite" of, he's kind of scared now.

He's really scared.

He's so afraid his roommate might pull some wild stunt that pushes his physical limits again!!!

...

Meanwhile, outside the bedroom.

Squeeze Toy: "Sigh."

Little Stone: "Sigh."

Angel Eyeball: "What are you sighing for?"

Squeeze Toy: "So bored."

Angel Eyeball: "If you're bored, go out for a walk."

Squeeze Toy looked speechless: "Go out for a walk? You wish! We're working under the table at the Lin household—there's no clocking out! Take one step outside, and Evil Domain will bite you to bits in the next second, believe it or not!"

Angel Eyeball: "..."

As the only heretic present who had actually been bitten to bits by Evil Domain, Angel Eyeball's PTSD flared up.

Squeeze Toy looked satisfied at the trembling Angel Eyeball, then turned to continue lecturing another new underling: "And you, yeah you, Maw of the Abyss! You better behave too, no funny business! I'm warning you, don’t think just because they’re all out at work during the day and you’re home alone pretending to be trash, you can take the chance to run! Lin Jianyuan is with the Bureau now! If you dare run, ten Bureaus will come after you, you know that!"

Maw of the Abyss: "..."

The two new heretics were both made extremely uneasy by Squeeze Toy's words.

Little Stone comforted: "Don’t take it to heart. Chief Squeeze is just petty, holding a grudge because you flapped him away with a wing back then~"

Squeeze Toy angrily said: "What did you say? What did you call me?"

"Chief Squeeze, of course. Oh, I almost forgot, the official appointment hasn’t come through yet. Oh dear, my memory. Since Lin Jianyuan didn’t make you Grand Chamberlain, we’re all still equals here, and we should get along nicely. Isn’t that right, Little Squeezie?"

Squeeze Toy: "...####"

Squeeze Toy was instantly enraged, charging toward Little Stone with a squelching noise.

Little Stone didn’t dodge, just let the brute snail charge.

Squelch!

Squeeze Toy rammed headfirst into Little Stone!

Then tripped over Little Stone and fell flat on its face!

With a squelch, it tumbled off the table!

Squeeze Toy: "..."

Little Stone: "Oh dear, I forgot again. I’m a stumbling block! Look at this mess!"

Squeeze Toy: "…………"

Angel Eyeball: "Sigh."

Maw of the Abyss: "Bro, why are you sighing too?"

Angel Eyeball: "They’re so boring. By the way, bro, how’s the trash-eating been these past couple days? Can you get full?"

Maw of the Abyss: "No way, Lin Jianyuan only has one home and one company, how much could that be? This is nowhere near enough."

Angel Eyeball: "Sigh, tell me about it. I haven’t fed in days either. That bastard Evil Domain (whispering), only cares about eating himself, doesn’t leave a single bite for us."

Maw of the Abyss: "Stop talking. We’ve been remodeled into these bodies, how can we expect them to treat us well?"

The two old-timer toys were lamenting their unfortunate fate.

Little Stone, who had been happily trading insults with Squeeze Toy by the table, suddenly stopped, turned its stone body, and let out a puzzled "Huh?"

Angel Eyeball: "What are you 'huh'-ing for?"

Squeeze Toy under the table jumped up and down: "Come on! Keep fighting with me! Who’s afraid of who! Just you wait, once I climb back onto the table, you’ll..."

"I just remembered, it seems like it’s been a long time since I last fed..."

Little Stone’s tone was somewhat confused.

Angel Eyeball & Maw of the Abyss: "And?"

Little Stone paused for a moment, rolled around in a circle, then turned back and shouted at Squeeze Toy: "Hey! Snail! Before I came, Lin Jianyuan ever feed you? Or let you out to forage?"

"No! I’m too important! Lin Jianyuan can’t bear to be apart from me for a second! How could he... Huh?"

At this, Squeeze Toy also began to feel that something was off.

Angel Eyeball, keenly aware of the anomaly, said gravely: "What do you mean? What are you trying to say?"

Little Stone, bewildered: "Ah, well... we haven’t fed in so long..."

Little Stone lowered its "head," looking at its own round, pitch-black body, no different from an ordinary stone on the roadside.

"Why haven’t we withered away yet?"