Chapter 73 The Call of Mom

Chapter 73 The Call of Damn It

Of course, the fountain on Taoran Street was gulped down in one bite by his roommate.

Lin Jianyuan had been in a hurry to get home and sleep at the time and had long forgotten about it.

It wasn't until the Director mentioned it that he remembered seeing the local trending topics blowing up about last night's incident at the internet-famous night market.

After all, with so many people evacuated at once, other things might be easier to cover up, but a huge fountain at the center of the pedestrian street disappearing entirely was impossible to sweep under the rug.

The Director had been quite polite to wait this long before asking for an incident report.

The PR department must be going crazy by now.

Well, no point in making things harder for fellow wage slaves.

Lin Jianyuan picked up his phone, opened the AI, and started voice input:

"Under the Management Bureau's orders, I went to Taoran Street to capture the heretic [Regret], but the target was too powerful, so I ended up summoning my wife, who gobbled him up in one bite. However, since my wife's mouth was too big, she accidentally swallowed the fountain as well. And because the fountain didn't taste very good, she spat it out on the way back to the Bureau. By the time it was spat out, it was already broken, digested by digestive fluids, so it couldn't be put back together, and therefore wasn't returned to Taoran Street. Please turn the above into a formal situation report to be submitted to the Management Bureau, as they are currently questioning me about the whereabouts of the fountain."

A few seconds later, the AI finished its deep processing and quickly generated a report.

Lin Jianyuan copied and forwarded it with one tap.

The Director replied upon receiving it: "Received."

After reading the report, the Director: "??? Why swallow the entire fountain?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Would swallowing only half make you feel better?"

Director: "So where was it spat out?"

Lin Jianyuan: "What about the two minutes you promised?"

The Director could only say: "Alright. Whatever, it's broken anyway. If it can't be found, it can't be found."

Director: "Don't go littering in the future!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Received."

Work matters should be left to those on the clock.

Lin Jianyuan and his roommate continued their happy vacation.

Whether it was because they had set a reverse flag or because the Bronze Tier Two Lock was effective, for the next few days, the Management Bureau didn’t call them back for overtime even once.

So damn good!

After having enough fun, the Management Bureau’s online courses also ended. Next up were practical training and physical training.

They also needed to meet with a real estate agent. Lin Jianyuan had been squeezing in time to contact agents over the past few days, considering both renting and buying.

The agent could tell at once that he was someone who had struck it rich overnight and responded very enthusiastically.

Lin Jianyuan scheduled a property viewing time and returned to City A with his roommate.

They returned at night, but there was nothing urgent to do the next day.

They could rest for another day tomorrow, and the day after, attend the Management Bureau’s theoretical knowledge final exam. That would mark the complete end of the theoretical portion.

Lin Jianyuan felt he was gradually adapting to the Management Bureau’s rhythm.

"Wife, I’ll tidy up at home tomorrow," Lin Jianyuan said. "Then, when you’re rested, we can go check out properties together."

His roommate never seemed to refuse him.

With a gentle curve of his lips, he said softly, "Okay."

Returning from a luxurious mountain-top hotel to this old, run-down little apartment of just a few dozen square meters naturally created a visual letdown.

But emotionally, there was none.

Lin Jianyuan found that he still considered this place home, especially when he saw the cleaning robot buzzing around working—hahaha.

No. Actually, he knew the reason.

Because this was where he and his roommate had met and fallen in love.

90% of their relationship had happened here, so even though the place was old, small, and expensive, it was still filled with memories and warmth for Lin Jianyuan.

He even considered buying it.

But there was no need.

The reason he felt reluctant to leave was because it held memories of him and his roommate.

And now, the most important person was right by his side. They would continue to accompany and cherish each other.

They would keep creating more beautiful, happy memories together.

So why cling to the container for old memories?

"Come on! Let’s film a vlog!"

Lin Jianyuan suddenly felt wide awake and pulled up his soft, sleepy roommate.

"Hmm?" His roommate had already laid out the blankets and asked, "What's a vlog?"

Lin Jianyuan: "It’s recording a part of our lives to show our future selves."

Angel eyeball: "Quite romantic, these lovebirds."

Still the angel eyeball: "Huh? Why am I being held while filming your vlog?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Eyeball, eyeball, activate camera mode."

Angel eyeball: "I’m not... whatever."

How did that human saying go?

Money doesn't grow on trees, and shit's hard to swallow.

Wait, no. It doesn't even get paid.

Lin Jianyuan, this heartless capitalist, doesn’t even pay it a wage!

Tearfully, the angel eyeball activated camera mode, complete with anti-shake and stabilization, hovering steadily beside Lin Jianyuan and Xie Yu.

"This is where I first met my wife!"

Creak—

Lin Jianyuan pulled open the door, pretending to come home.

His tone brimmed with happiness.

"I first saw Xie Yu right here. That day, I had just had a huge fight with my idiot boss at the company…"

His roommate's appendage swayed back and forth.

Lin Jianyuan's voiceover: "Be serious! Stop wiggling! Back then, you didn’t wiggle when you saw me!"

The roommate on-screen held back laughter: "Oh, okay."

He tried hard to tuck away his little tail.

Lin Jianyuan grabbed the Angel Eyeball and aimed it at himself and his roommate.

Like a close-up shot, he pulled both of them into the frame:

"And then he saw me and said—"

Roommate: "You're back."

Lin Jianyuan: "He said, 'You're back!'"

Roommate: "Would you like to shower first, eat first, or… me?"

Lin Jianyuan started cracking up: "He said, 'Would you like to shower, eat, or me!' Hahahaha…"

Roommate: "Hahaha…"

In the vlog, the two of them dissolved into laughter.

Outside the frame, the old, cramped apartment also transformed into a boat.

Drifting leisurely in an ocean of joy and happiness.

...

The next day.

Lin Jianyuan was still on break today, but his roommate already had to go back to work.

After all, they belonged to two different departments, and their onboarding training schedules were different. So his roommate would return one day earlier than him.

No big deal, teleporting made it easy anyway.

His roommate could even come back for lunch.

Maybe I’ll cook for him at noon today?

Lin Jianyuan wondered excitedly. What should I make for my wife?

As he was taking his time packing his things, his phone suddenly rang.

It was the landlord.

"Lin Jianyuan, have you made up your mind yet?!" The landlord’s tone was rude, immediately confrontational. "Are you renewing the lease or moving out?!"

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Oh, right. Forgot to tell the landlord.

Their sudden wealth had been too low-key—they hadn’t even had the chance to inform the landlord about their new annual income of three hundred—no, four hundred now—.

Lin Jianyuan straight-up told him they wouldn’t be renewing and would move out in the next couple of days.

The landlord seemed surprised but quickly resumed his hostile tone: "Alright. I’ll come by later to check the condition of the apartment. Hurry up and clean! Don’t leave any trash behind! If the place is a mess, I’m not returning the security deposit!"

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Lin Jianyuan glanced at the date, speechless.

It was Monday. 10:00 AM.

Though it was unclear how long "later" actually meant, one thing was certain: the landlord had no intention of giving him any time to clean.

Lin Jianyuan put himself in the shoes of his past self.

If he hadn’t changed jobs.

If he hadn’t suddenly struck it rich.

If he weren’t living a stable, happy life now.

He would’ve been absolutely furious.

Lin Jianyuan: "."

I'm pissed.

Thinking of his self from ten days ago, his fists clenched instantly!!!

Lin Jianyuan almost felt like taking a dump right in the living room, exchanging the security deposit for a sack of nickels, hurling it in the landlord’s face, and telling him: Eat shit! Eat it while it’s hot!

But then he thought—this apartment was full of memories of him and his roommate. The landlord was an asshole, but the apartment itself was innocent.

Besides, the place was pretty clean anyway. His wife was so tidy, keeping the home neat and beautiful every day.

Not to mention they had the sweeping and mopping robot.

At most, he’d just hit a button to have the house mopped again.

Lin Jianyuan continued packing.

Not long after, the landlord arrived.

The landlord used his key to let himself in without knocking.

The key turned, roughly jamming into the lock.

Hearing the sound of the lock clicking from the bedroom, Lin Jianyuan frowned.

Damn. Didn’t even knock, just used the spare key to barge in. What an asshole.

Lin Jianyuan knew it was the landlord but couldn’t be bothered to greet him. He kept packing in the bedroom.

Sure enough, the landlord's grating voice rang out in the living room.

"Well, well, Lin Jianyuan," the landlord said sarcastically, "There's a Roomba here too. Win that in a company raffle?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Why do you care?"

Caught off guard by the retort, the landlord immediately looked as if he had been choked.

The landlord walked in, first glancing into the kitchen, then peeking into the roommate's room across the way.

Then he came over to Lin Jianyuan's room.

"Why do you have so much crap?" the landlord said with a disgusted look. "You're dragging your ass packing. How long are you going to make me wait here? You don’t expect me to sit around all day here with you, do you?!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Not my problem."

Landlord: "..."

Lin Jianyuan continued packing at his own pace.

The landlord gave him the side-eye.

Something's up.

There’s something different about this guy.

Why didn’t he seem this bold before?

The landlord recalled what this guy used to be like.

Wait, no. He remembered this guy as a spineless cubicle drone, dirt poor and working overtime every day.

It was because he was always working overtime—no time or energy to look for another place—that the landlord had him over a barrel, raising the rent again and again.

The landlord had thought he could keep milking him dry.

Who knew he’d suddenly grow a backbone and just dip out like that?

Maybe he won the lottery or something.

The landlord curled his lip and sneered, "Kid, you found a new place yet? Where you moving to? Don’t tell me you’re upgrading to some McMansion."

Lin Jianyuan didn’t even look up: "Why do you care?"

Landlord: "I’m just being nice. We’ve known each other for years, after all..."

Lin Jianyuan: "Why do you care?"

Landlord: "..."

The landlord figured it out!

No matter what he said, Lin Jianyuan only had two responses: "Why do you care?" and "Not my problem"!

Lin Jianyuan was totally messing with him!!!

The landlord instantly blew his top, shoving off from the doorframe he’d been leaning against and cursing, "Lin Jianyuan! What's your damn damage! Spouting the same crap over and over! What the fuck is your attitude! I’m trying to talk to you properly, and you’re giving me attitude! Can you fucking speak like a human, damn it! You broke-ass renter! You dipshit! Waste of space! Show some fucking respect!"

Lin Jianyuan paused what he was doing.

As if summoned by the word "mom."

So he turned his head.

And calmly uttered a third phrase, beyond "Why do you care?" and "Not my problem."

"Fuck your mom."

Landlord: "..."

The landlord was completely enraged now.