Chapter 78 Stealing Jiang Chen’s Hair

Chapter 78: Stealing Jiang Chen’s Hair

Jiang Chen was stunned.

"Lin Jianyuan, what are you showing off for!" He stood by the second-floor railing, taking the strategic high ground as he roared at Lin Jianyuan, "If you're sick, go take your medicine! Get hospitalized! I suggest you stop pretending to be a big shot here. Don’t think I don’t know your financial situation..."

Pei Shuo also stammered, "Bro, bro, this is too much, this is really too much!"

Jiang Chen curled his lips, thinking Pei Shuo was also going to persuade Lin Jianyuan to back off.

Never did he expect Pei Shuo to nearly burst into tears the next second: "I-I-I've never seen such a huge red envelope! Bro! You're going to scare me to death! Is all this money really for me? Why!"

The others were also stunned by the sudden windfall of 1688, and soon snapped back to reality, chasing after Lin Jianyuan to ask, "Yeah, why!" "Why did you suddenly send us money?"

Lin Jianyuan flashed a smug, rich smile: "Because you're kind!"

After all, there were fewer than 10 people present, so at most, it added up to 16880.

Not even as much as the extra cash he'd just earned from Shi Shaoning.

Roughly speaking, this round of red envelopes was paid for by Shi Shaoning.

Shi Shaoning is also kind!

Everyone: "..."

Jiang Chen: "..."

Not gonna say who didn’t get any praise.

Jiang Chen rolled his eyes so hard they nearly reached the back of his heels, his face full of impatience as he said, "Lin Jianyuan, what are you even here for! You've already resigned! Coming to the company now, disrupting everyone’s normal work—I could totally call the police on you, you know! If it weren't for the fact that you're..."

Lin Jianyuan: "That I'm mentally ill?"

His tone was light, but dripping with mockery.

Jiang Chen, however, immediately recalled the painful experience of being toyed with by this lunatic over an egg pancake.

"You... you..." Jiang Chen's face turned pale then flushed, so agitated he felt like he might pass out any second, "I warn you not to do anything reckless... This is a law-abiding society..."

Lin Jianyuan slightly raised his eyes, looking at him.

He clearly said nothing.

Lin Jianyuan clearly said nothing, did nothing.

Just quietly, raised his eyes to look at him.

Even though Jiang Chen was the one in the higher position, he actually felt... felt...

A chill down his spine!

Squeeze toy: "Dead eyeball, flap your wings faster! The boss is about to show off!"

Little Stone: "Maw of the Abyss, don't just stand there either! See if there's anything sticky and disgusting in your belly, smear it on that idiot's nape and the back of his head! Stuff it down his butt crack if you have to!"

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

Can't do it, can't keep up the act.

Angel eyeball + Maw of the Abyss = fully automatic frog-catching machine.

Squeeze toy + Little Stone = fully automatic boss's boasting machine.

Can't take it anymore.

Is this what they call "stay close to the virtuous and you become virtuous, stay close to madness and you go crazy"?

How come he never noticed these little toys were so mentally unhinged before?

...Anyway, the angel eyeball got the message.

Three pairs of large wings flapped so hard that the hem of Jiang Chen's clothes nearly flew up.

The Maw of the Abyss also got the message.

It dug around in its belly, but all it found were frogs.

So it stuffed a frog into Jiang Chen's butt crack.

Lin Jianyuan: "........................"

I can’t take this, I can’t even look now!

Lin Jianyuan decisively turned around, desperately recalling the saddest moments of his life, trying hard to control his twitching lips and wildly shaking shoulders.

Jiang Chen, noticing something was off about him, couldn't help but feel puzzled.

Yet his back was getting colder and colder, and there seemed to be something wet and sticky wriggling in his butt crack...

The horrifying sensation made Jiang Chen panic!

What's going on!

What's happening to him!

Can mental illness be transmitted through eye contact?!

Jiang Chen frantically patted his back, but found nothing.

He then frantically felt his buttocks...

Before he could touch them, everyone downstairs was giving him doubtful, uncertain looks.

Jiang Chen: "..."

Tearfully held back, decisively withdrew his hand.

So itchy!

So sticky!!!

Can't take it!

What the hell is this wetness in his pants out of nowhere!!!

Lin Jianyuan mustered all his self-control to adjust his mood and shot a look at the fully automatic combo of little toys.

He signaled for them to stop causing trouble. He was really about to lose it.

So the automatic frog-grabbing machine continued catching frogs.

The automatic showboating device obediently wriggled and rolled back into his pocket.

Lin Jianyuan said, "Manager Jiang, I'm here to visit old colleagues. It has nothing to do with you. So why don’t you go chill somewhere else?"

Jiang Chen also snapped out of it, let out a cold laugh, and said, "Visiting colleagues? During work hours? Don’t they have to work? Lin Jianyuan, you’re unemployed—don’t get others in trouble..."

Lin Jianyuan: "Can’t chatting with me be considered work? Maybe I have collaboration opportunities? After all, I’m a rich man now."

"You?" Jiang Chen raised an eyebrow, recalling how Lin Jianyuan had just handed out 1688 red envelopes to everyone but one person, and he was still furious. He let out a bitter laugh and said, "Lin Jianyuan, I’m serious—there’s a limit to showing off. Don’t think just because you won the lottery or stumbled upon some windfall, got lucky for once, you can come back here and flaunt it..."

Lin Jianyuan cut him off: "I didn’t win the lottery. I’m a trust fund baby."

Jiang Chen: "?"

Lin Jianyuan: "My parents wanted to toughen me up, so they always told me our family was poor. Now that they see I’ve gone crazy from work, they dropped the act. Suddenly told me we’re actually rich."

Jiang Chen: "??"

Lin Jianyuan: "Now I get 200,000 yuan monthly allowance, and our house has multiple basement levels alone. The place is so big we didn’t know what to do with it, so we even installed a hot spring spa and wellness center... but I’m getting off track. Manager Jiang, you’re right. I am indeed unemployed now. I have no idea how to blow 200,000 yuan a month. What do you think I should do?"

Jiang Chen: "???"

Lin Jianyuan remembered the confidentiality agreement stating he couldn’t reveal his actual job.

So he could only reluctantly play the part of a low-key rich guy.

Since he couldn’t disclose the truth, he might as well wing it.

No wonder people say Lin Jianyuan was born to bullshit.

Lin Jianyuan spoke off the cuff, delivering a series of rich-person flexes that left Jiang Chen speechless.

And not just Jiang Chen.

Everyone in the office was totally baffled by him.

"Bro, bro..." Pei Shuo said cautiously, "For... for real?"

Lin Jianyuan smiled at him and was about to say "It’s true," but suddenly noticed everyone was looking at him with pitying looks.

Including Pei Shuo.

Pei Shuo was so worried and upset he was on the verge of crying!

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Crap.

He’d forgotten again.

In everyone’s eyes, he was still a mental patient!

Lin Jianyuan coughed and quickly said, "It’s true, it’s really true. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you my bank balance..."

Lin Jianyuan quickly pulled Pei Shuo over and forced him to admire his six-figure balance.

Pei Shuo: "?"

He looked shocked, confused, and questioning his entire existence.

"No way, you’re for real?" Su Zhiwei, seeing Pei Shuo’s reaction, grew curious too and hurried over to take a look. Instantly, his face filled with disbelief. "Damn, Lin Jianyuan, you didn’t take out a loan to show off, did you?"

Lin Jianyuan: "No, no, it’s not like that..."

Qin Shi: "It might not be a loan—maybe he’s dating a rich older woman! Didn’t he meet a wealthy auntie at that wedding banquet last time? And even recognized a guy named Teddy as his cousin!"

Lin Jianyuan: "??"

What? When did that happen? And there’s such a thing?!

Lin Jianyuan froze for a second, then remembered.

Keywords: wedding banquet, wealthy auntie, Teddy cousin...

Lin Jianyuan recalled that romantic, dreamy evening and burst out laughing.

"Alright, I’ll come clean." Lin Jianyuan coughed and said seriously, "I was lying to you earlier. The rich second-generation stuff was all made up."

Everyone: "..."

Pity was building fast!

Lin Jianyuan immediately cut them off: "—But I really did find my soulmate. That part, and only that part, is absolutely true."

Everyone: "?!!"

So you’re really with that auntie who scarfed down eight king crab legs in one minute and has insane dental chops?!

Jiang Chen: "..."

Is this lunatic going to keep rambling nonsense endlessly?!

Jiang Chen gritted his teeth but could do nothing about this nutjob.

After all, since Lin Jianyuan arrived, aside from handing out cash to everyone (except him), he hadn’t done anything out of line.

Even if he called the police, they’d have no reason to arrest him.

And what if, by some fluke, just what if, Lin Jianyuan actually became rich?

What if he really came here with a business proposal??

Jiang Chen could already imagine himself driving Lin Jianyuan away, only for Lin Jianyuan to go straight to headquarters and accuse him of offending a client—then headquarters would find all sorts of ways to make him regret it and punish him...

So underhanded, Lin Jianyuan!

He’s even learned to set a trap!

Good thing he’s smart!

Not falling for it!

Jiang Chen was fuming but could do nothing about it.

He could only slink back to his office, defeated.

Bang!

He slammed the door shut.

But the glass door only blocked the view.

The soundproofing was terrible, unable to block out the laughter and cheerful chatter from downstairs.

Jiang Chen irritably opened Candy Crush.

First floor.

There were just too many frogs. While waiting for the fully automatic frog-catching machine to do its work, Lin Jianyuan caught up with his former colleagues.

As they talked, the conversation shifted to the topic of hair.

Yes.

For some reason, everyone suddenly started paying attention to Lin Jianyuan's hair.

"Turns out not working really cures everything," Su Zhiwei sighed emotionally. "Lin Jianyuan, you're in such great spirits now! Your hair has gotten so much thicker too! It's only been a few days since you stopped working, but you look like you've de-aged by 108 years!"

Qin Shi: "It's not that his hair is thick—it's that we're going bald."

Saying this, she tearfully mixed up some sesame paste.

Seeing the large box of sesame paste on her desk and the health kettle filled with a bunch of black beans, black sesame, black goji berries, and other random stuff, Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but say, "Sesame is fine, but you should eat less sesame paste. It has a lot of added sugar and starch, which can easily affect blood sugar."

Qin Shi promptly put down the sesame paste.

Started chugging down black X black XX black XXX health tea.

But suddenly, Lin Jianyuan's eye twitched.

On the top of Qin Shi's head, there was actually a small patch that was showing signs of balding.

It wasn't quite alopecia areata yet, but her hair loss was severe. You could actually see her scalp.

At first glance, it looked like her hair had been pulled out from being dragged around on the ground.

"So, Lin Jianyuan, aside from not working, do you have any other little tricks for preventing hair loss and promoting growth?"

Su Zhiwei picked up a handful of markers, pretending they were microphones, and held them out to Lin Jianyuan.

His gleaming forehead evidenced his rapidly receding hairline and very urgent needs.

Lin Jianyuan: "Early to bed, early to rise? Fall in love? Say good morning and goodnight to your beloved wife every day?"

Su Zhiwei: "..."

Everyone: "..."

Su Zhiwei angrily said, "Go to hell, you damn rich love-struck fool!!! I won't allow you to be richer, hairier, AND married!"

Lin Jianyuan: "~~"

At the same time, in the second-floor office.

Jiang Chen sat at his computer desk, staring at the stuck level of Candy Crush on his phone.

Also scratching his head frantically.

As he scratched, a large handful of hair fell out.

Jiang Chen: "???!!!"

Jiang Chen panicked.

Jiang Chen immediately ordered sesame paste.

Lin Jianyuan suddenly looked up.

Thick and swarming.

Something, thick and swarming.

Like black sesame seeds marching in formation into Jiang Chen's office.

Then like ants relocating.

—Carrying out countless strands of hair.

"Lin Jianyuan, what are you looking at?" The squeeze toy was closely watching Lin Jianyuan's every move and was the first to notice something odd. "Is something wrong?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Seems like I saw some black sesame seeds stealing hair."

All the little toys: "?"

All the colleagues who had been watching Lin Jianyuan: "???"

They knew Lin Jianyuan's mental illness wasn't cured at all!

"But they're stealing Jiang Chen's hair, so it's fine," Lin Jianyuan cheerfully said.

Hearing this, everyone also relaxed.

Black sesame seeds coming to steal hair? How ridiculous!

But they're stealing Jiang Chen's hair?

Oh, then it's fine. Haha.

"Report to the great king!"

The angel eyeball, carrying the Maw of the Abyss, fluttered back to Lin Jianyuan's side.

"Nearby frogs have mostly been caught, only the locked rooms on the second floor remain!"

The Maw of the Abyss let out a burp.

Lin Jianyuan looked up and realized the angel eyeball was referring to Jiang Chen's office.

That idiot Jiang Chen had shut the door behind him as soon as he went upstairs, so the angel eyeball couldn't get in.

Lin Jianyuan then said to everyone, "Alright, it's about time, everyone get back to work! Otherwise, you'll have to work overtime again!"

Pei Shuo reluctantly said, "Bro, are you leaving already?"

Qin Shi remarked, "Man, busy or not, we still have to work overtime. That idiot Jiang Chen just announced another meeting after work today. I'm so done with him—we just had one at noon, and now there's an emergency meeting tonight. Meeting this, meeting that, meeting his damn head off. How many pointless fucking meetings can there be!"

Lin Jianyuan took the opportunity and said, "I'll go talk some sense into him."

Everyone lit up with curiosity and asked, "How?"

Lin Jianyuan rolled up his sleeves. "Of course, by using reason to persuade him."

The crowd instantly looked on with anticipation.

Great, just great—a mental patient using reason to persuade someone! Wonderful!

Lin Jianyuan quietly activated the terminal alarm, confirmed that there wasn't a single frog left in the first-floor office, and went upstairs.

He knocked on Jiang Chen's office door, and an irritated voice came from inside: "Who is it?"

Lin Jianyuan politely said, "It's me, Manager Jiang. I have some heartfelt words I’d like to share with you."

Jiang Chen immediately deflated like a balloon losing air and said flatly, "Oh, it's you."

Lin Jianyuan: "I’ll leave right after I’m done."

Jiang Chen promptly opened the door.

Beep.

As soon as the door opened, the terminal alarm went off again.

"C-class heretic derivative detected: [Frog Rain]!"

Lin Jianyuan entered the room with the automated little gadgets, and the frog-catching machine obediently started working.

Jiang Chen looked suspicious and scrutinized him. "What did you want to say?"

Lin Jianyuan stared at his throat. "Manager Jiang, if you keep spouting nonsense all day, your throat will turn into an incubator, croaking and spraying frogs everywhere. Luckily, my Eyeball and Big Mouth are here to automatically catch them, or the whole office building would be driven crazy by your noise."

Badass.

His skill at not making any sense was getting better and better.

And he even rhymed, huh.

Jiang Chen: "？？？？"

Oh no! Lin Jianyuan is losing it again!!!

Why!

Why does Lin Jianyuan hand out red envelopes to others but act crazy with me!!!

Jiang Chen was on the verge of tears. The more he thought about Lin Jianyuan's bizarre words, the more creeped out he felt.

He hurriedly said, "Alright, alright! Are you done? If you're done, just leave!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Promise me you won’t take up everyone’s rest time with meetings anymore."

Jiang Chen: "I promise!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Put it in writing!"

Jiang Chen: "..."

If Jiang Chen wasn’t scared to death by him, he’d be pissed to death. Right now, he just wanted to get this lunatic out of here, so he reluctantly agreed, "Fine, fine, I’ll write it!"

Lin Jianyuan flashed a heroic smile.

After obtaining Jiang Chen’s written pledge, Lin Jianyuan said, "Jiang Chen, remember something."

Jiang Chen snapped, "What?! What else?!"

Lin Jianyuan: "Don’t worry about what—just remember it."

Jiang Chen was nearly going crazy. "What is it! What do you want me to remember?!"

Help! It couldn’t be that he wanted him to remember the vow he made today, could it?!

Wait, is Lin Jianyuan insane? He’s already quit, so why does he care whether I hold meetings or not?

What’s the point of a written pledge? If I break it, is he going to come back and beat me up?

Wait.

Lin Jianyuan really does have a problem!

He’s a mental patient!!!

This lunatic might actually come back and beat me up!!!

Jiang Chen was in despair.

Having successfully broken Jiang Chen’s spirit, Lin Jianyuan felt refreshed and prepared to leave.

The frogs were all caught, so it was time to wrap up.

That took care of the frog source; all that was left was to clean up the remaining floors.

Speaking of which, why is this heretic called Frog Rain?

Just because it evaporates when exposed to the sun?

That really is quite "rain-like"...

Lin Jianyuan hummed cheerfully as he left Jiang Chen’s office.

Jiang Chen: "..."

He watched Lin Jianyuan’s retreating figure and finally breathed a sigh of relief.

But as he recalled the humiliation he’d just suffered,

Jiang Chen began frantically tugging at his hair in frustration.

Lin Jianyuan paused in his steps.

Snap—crunch. Snap—crunch. Snap—crunch.

Rows of black specks, like army ants, marched strands of hair past him.

Past his leather boots. Past the door crack.

They flowed downward past the steps, disappearing from view.

Lin Jianyuan frowned and glanced suspiciously at his mobile device.

Nothing.

No alerts this time—nothing at all.