Chapter 16 Life Lies in Movement

Chapter 16: Life Is in Motion

The July weather remained scorching. Lin Jianyuan hit "skip" to bypass the crowded subway commute and arrived directly at the office.

If only he could skip work too—alas, he couldn’t.

The stress toy thief’s "skip" function wasn’t smart. If Lin Jianyuan didn’t actively control his body during the skipped segments, he’d remain sitting there like a zombie the entire time.

So, work still had to be done in person.

As soon as he started work, he was swamped with a chaotic mess of annoying tasks.

Although Pei Shuo tried hard to help out, as an intern who had only been with the company for a month, there was only so much he could do.

Most tasks still fell to Lin Jianyuan.

After finally managing to wrap things up, Lin Jianyuan decided to take a paid poop break to relax.

He had just sat down and hadn’t even started Candy Crush when he heard Jiang Chen yelling from outside the stall, "Lin Jianyuan!"

Lin Jianyuan ignored him and continued playing Candy Crush.

Jiang Chen’s voice echoed from outside, "Where’s Lin Jianyuan? Where did he go?"

Not long after, his phone rang. The small bathroom stall was filled with the sound of the ringtone.

The moment Lin Jianyuan saw "Jiang Chen" on the screen, he felt a surge of anger, wishing he could grab a fresh turd and shove it into Jiang Chen’s mouth.

Damn it, always rushing! What’s the hurry? Can’t even let someone take a shit in peace!

Muttering curses, Lin Jianyuan pulled his pants up and rushed over to Jiang Chen. "What is it?!"

"Oh, you’re here," Jiang Chen said. "There’s an empty desk downstairs. Have the intern tidy it up and check if the keyboard, computer, and other equipment are working properly. A new colleague will be joining soon, so we need to prepare in advance."

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Jiang Chen: "What?"

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t believe it. "That’s it?"

Jiang Chen said matter-of-factly, "Yeah."

"You dragged me out in the middle of taking a shit just to tell me this? Couldn’t you just—"

Lin Jianyuan felt a wave of anger boiling in his chest, but he bit his tongue in the end.

After all, this was Jiang Chen!

This guy’s a total moron!

It was only natural for an idiot to do stupid things!

How could he expect an idiot to act normally? If he did, he’d be an idiot too!

"I didn’t know you were in the bathroom," Jiang Chen grumbled. "And could you be a bit more civilized? Stop talking about crap all the time…"

Lin Jianyuan: "Then I’ll shove it down your throat."

Caught off guard, Jiang Chen exclaimed in shock, "What?"

Lin Jianyuan replied calmly, "If you won’t let me curse, then the only option is to shove crap into your mouth. A person can’t choke on crap, right?"

Is that even how that saying is used?!

Jiang Chen panicked and frantically covered his mouth.

When others threatened to shove crap into someone’s mouth, it might just be an empty threat.

But not Lin Jianyuan!

He was a real psychopath!

Jiang Chen was actually terrified!

"...Anyway."

Back in the office, Lin Jianyuan told his coworkers, "From now on, everyone is free to curse as they please."

The group cracked up.

"Hahaha, you actually won us the right to swear!" Qin Shi was howling with laughter, slamming the table. "And you, my hero, are a true friend!"

"Lin Jianyuan has become so much livelier since he developed a mental illness," Su Zhiwei said warmly. "And we’ve become more fired up too!"

Everyone was dying laughing, but Lin Jianyuan was still pissed. He stood up and walked out.

"Bro, are you going back to finish up?" Pei Shuo followed him with a smirk. "Count me in! This is the legendary paid poop break! I want to experience it too!"

"Are you nuts?" Lin Jianyuan snarled. "I’m going for a smoke!"

"Oh. Hahaha." Even after being scolded, Pei Shuo was still grinning, like a golden retriever happy even after a kick by its owner.

Pei Shuo really was a good sport.

Lin Jianyuan went downstairs—if this were a TV drama, he would have gone to the rooftop to smoke for the better view, but unfortunately, this was reality.

The rooftop was locked and inaccessible.

The smoking area was already occupied by several guys in suits. Lin Jianyuan recognized them as employees from other floors and gave a nod in greeting.

They shared tired smiles, all wearing the same exhausted expressions of "wage slaves."

"Ugh, this job feels like it’s sucking the soul out of me."

"Tell me about it. Every day feels like spinning like a top."

"Busy, huh?"

"It’s not just the busyness—it’s also the constant pressure."

"Don’t even get me started. I’ve been working overtime every day lately and haven’t had time to spend with my kid. The other day, my child woke up early, and I hugged them before leaving. The look in their eyes was almost like they didn’t recognize me…"

The "wage slaves" complained about work and life while smoking. The smoking area was soon hazy with smoke, and the ashtray quickly piled high with cigarette butts.

Although Lin Jianyuan didn’t have a family, he could still empathize deeply.

Before he knew it, he had finished his second cigarette.

As he took out his cigarette pack and was about to light a third, his hand suddenly paused.

A red thread emerged from the cigarette box, silently creeping toward his finger.

Lin Jianyuan moved left, and the red thread followed to the left.

Lin Jianyuan moved right, and the red thread followed to the right.

Lin Jianyuan snapped the cigarette box shut, and the red thread was severed, instantly dissipating.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

He reopened the cigarette box to check, but aside from a few cigarettes, there was nothing inside.

Just as he was about to take out another cigarette, the red thread suddenly reappeared, quietly crawling toward his finger.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

An anti-addiction system, huh.

Lin Jianyuan glanced around and realized that, at some point, red threads had grown from the cigarettes held by the "wage slaves."

Blood-red threads wriggled and coiled around their fingers, digging deeper into their veins with every puff of smoke.

Yet, none of them noticed. Their exhausted, numb eyes stared blankly through the smoke as if vaguely searching for the future.

"Is it raining?" Lin Jianyuan suddenly said.

"Huh? Is it raining?" Everyone looked up from the smoke. Some stretched out their hands, puzzled, to catch raindrops.

The sky was overcast, and everyone seemed to realize it was about time. They bid each other farewell and returned to their respective cubicles.

The moment the cigarette box was put away, the wriggling blood threads snapped and vanished.

Lin Jianyuan gave a brief glance then looked away.

After finishing his cigarette, Lin Jianyuan returned to the office, which was still bustling with activity.

Everyone seemed glued to their chairs, too busy to even take a sip of water.

Lin Jianyuan also got back to work. After a while, he suddenly felt something was off.

He stood up suspiciously and looked back.

Holy crap—those blood threads had grown back again!

Fortunately, this time there weren't many—just one thread—and it wasn’t as tough as before, where he’d need scissors to cut it.

This time, as soon as Lin Jianyuan lifted his butt, he heard a "snap."

The thread broke.

Suddenly, an idea struck Lin Jianyuan. He turned and scanned the room.

Sure enough, everyone in the office had blood threads on them.

To his left, Pei Shuo was intently editing a PPT. Under his butt were two threads—one on each buttock.

To his right, Qin Shi was grumbling while working on data. Under her butt was a bunch of threads, one connecting her right hand to the mouse, and another linking the back of her neck to the computer screen.

To the right and ahead, Su Zhiwei was furiously communicating with a client. In addition to threads on his butt, right hand, and neck, there was also one on his throat.

—Wait, maybe not his throat.

His thyroid.

At this point, Lin Jianyuan understood everything.

—These blood threads weren’t ordinary threads at all!

They were signals from their bodies crying for help!

The moment this thought struck him, Lin Jianyuan decisively stood up and clapped his hands loudly: "Comrades!"

"?" Pei Shuo looked up.

"What?!" Qin Shi snapped, raising her head.

"@!#!@%#…!%!" Su Zhiwei was still struggling to communicate with an idiot client.

Lin Jianyuan raised his arm and announced: "The work will never be done, but our bodies are our own! Everybody, let’s put down our tasks, step away from the screens, and relax our minds. Let’s all do some ex-er-cise!"

Pei Shuo: "?"

Qin Shi: "?"

Even Su Zhiwei, who was on the phone: "???"

The entire office froze for a second.

The next moment, everyone snapped to their senses!

"Right! He’s absolutely right! The work belongs to the company, but our bodies are our own! Screw that early meeting! Even if the sky falls, I’m taking a ten-minute break!"

"Damn, damn, damn, I didn’t even realize—my bladder’s about to burst! I’m going to pee first!"

Upstairs, Jiang Chen poked his head out in confusion, stunned to see that everyone in the office had lost it!

Qin Shi was doing squats, Pei Shuo was doing burpees, Su Zhiwei was practicing Ba Duan Jin, and others were engaging in all sorts of physical exercises.

And the craziest of them all, Lin Jianyuan, stood with his hands on his hips in front of a wall, staring intently at the blank surface, concentrating as if in deep meditation.

Others might be one thing, but Jiang Chen was most afraid of Lin Jianyuan losing it. He couldn’t help but shout: "Lin Jianyuan! What are you doing?!"

"Kegels!" Lin Jianyuan growled. "What, are Kegels not allowed at work? You gonna pay for my hemorrhoids if I get them?!"

Jiang Chen: "..."

Why are you yelling at me for doing Kegels?!

And since when are Kegels something to boast about? How can you shout about it so shamelessly??

Jiang Chen watched the chaotic scene—the office had turned into a frenzied gym—and felt uneasy.

Just as he was about to speak up and stop them, he heard everyone exclaiming, "Wow, moving around really helps," and "Just five minutes was enough," before they all returned to their desks.

Jiang Chen: "?"

That’s it? The frenzy’s over?

As the office settled back into calm, Jiang Chen, seriously suspecting he’d been pranked: "??"

Should I do some Kegel exercises too?

After a bit of exercise, everyone's vigor and morale were noticeably better than before, and the office atmosphere was no longer as tense and oppressive as it had been.

Pei Shuo, breathing slightly heavily, returned to Lin Jianyuan's side, his face glowing and his eyes bright.

The soul-crushing aura of the office vanished instantly, and he once again resembled an energetic college student.

Work really is the most draining thing ever.

After five minutes of exercise, the creeping blood veins on everyone's bodies had disappeared.

Even the stress toy thief couldn't help but exclaim, "Miracle doctor!"

Lin Jianyuan declared with satisfaction, "Life lies in movement."

Too bad this miracle doctor's effects were a bit short-lived.

An hour later, the blood veins squirmed out from the office chairs, keyboards, mice, and computer screens, twisting their way back toward everyone's bodies.

Lin Jianyuan decisively called for everyone to exercise again.

Another hour passed...

"Enough already!" Lin Jianyuan slammed the table, furious!

Work! Really! Is the most fucking draining thing!

Every hour, these blood veins would pop out to suck the life out of him!

If it wasn't the keyboard, it was the mouse!

If it wasn't the office chair, it was the computer screen!

Enough already! So annoying!

Just fucking destroy everything!!

Everyone was startled by Lin Jianyuan's sudden outburst. Even Jiang Chen couldn't help but lean out from the second floor, frowning as he watched Lin Jianyuan lose it again.

Lin Jianyuan pointed at the computer screen and yelled, "Suck, suck, suck! Suck my dick! What kind of shitty computer is this? If you keep sucking, I'll fucking punch you to pieces!"

He then turned and started cursing at his phone, "And you, you useless piece of junk! You heat up just from replying to a WeChat message! Downloading a file lags like hell! You just want to piss me off so you can inherit my thyroid nodules, don't you? You bastard!!"

Everyone: "..."

Jiang Chen: "..."

Though the sentiment was understandable, the language was way too crude.

Jiang Chen frantically signaled to the people below, hoping someone would step in and restrain Lin Jianyuan.

But everyone was just watching Lin Jianyuan's meltdown with awe.

Swearing might not solve anything, but it sure was satisfying!!

—LMAO, this is way more entertaining than work reports.

Lin Jianyuan cursed out every piece of office equipment—the screen, keyboard, mouse, computer tower—but his anger still hadn't subsided.

Pei Shuo had never seen anything like this and was completely stunned.

Qin Shi, worried he might actually smash the keyboard, was about to step in and calm him down, but then Lin Jianyuan suddenly snatched his phone!

Qin Shi cried out in alarm, "No, no! The phone is your own! Phones are expensive! Phones are expensive!"

But it was too late!

Lin Jianyuan did something that left everyone speechless!

He grabbed a handful of air and shoved it fiercely into the phone's charging port, snarling, "Poke, poke, poke! Let's see you poke! Poke yourself, you piece of shit!"

Everyone: "??"

Jiang Chen: "..." I need oxygen.

Everyone was baffled by his inexplicable action, but what was even more surprising was that Lin Jianyuan himself seemed puzzled.

"Huh?" Lin Jianyuan picked up his phone and examined it repeatedly, suspicious. "Why is it charging now?"

Everyone: "?"

What!

Having a meltdown can charge your phone?!!