Chapter 86 No Grilling Starch Sausages During Work Hours

Chapter 86 No Roasting Starch Sausages During Work Hours

Delirium thrashed in the water for a long time, managing to squeeze out just one word.

"You."

What kind of answer was that? It was as good as saying nothing.

Utterly useless, save for piquing curiosity.

Lin Jianyuan furrowed his brow, wanting to move closer, grab Delirium by the shoulders, and shake him to see if more words would tumble out.

But suddenly, his arm was yanked back violently!

Lin Jianyuan was forcibly dragged out of the water, Shi Shaoning's furious roar exploding in his ear:

"Lin Jianyuan! Are you fucking trying to get yourself killed?! Are you out of your mind?!!!"

The roar was deafening, amplified by the empty, echoing containment pool chamber. Lin Jianyuan's eardrums nearly burst.

Only then did Lin Jianyuan realize how absurd and inexplicable his actions were—why had he suddenly jumped in?

This was Delirium's containment pool!

And even more absurdly, he had just plunged completely underwater.

The pool was much deeper than he had imagined!

At 1.85 meters tall, not only could he not touch the bottom, but his head was far below the surface.

The floral-scented antiseptic pool was at least 3 meters deep!

No wonder Delirium could thrash around freely in it.

Both Shi Shaoning and Lin Jianyuan were soaked. Shi Shaoning dragged him firmly, swimming toward the edge while angrily scolding, "I don't care what your reason is…"

Lin Jianyuan hurriedly apologized, "Sorry, sorry, I don't know what came over me. I just acted on impulse and jumped in. I’m sorry, I’ll write a self-criticism when we get back…"

Shi Shaoning: "You should dunk your love-addled brain in the floral-scented antiseptic water too! Just like Delirium, you and Evil Domain both have crazy minds!"

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Though he didn’t understand why his and his wife’s "love-addled brains" were suddenly brought up, he obediently stood there and took the scolding: "Yes, yes, you’re right. We’ll be more careful in the future. We’ll definitely avoid showing off our relationship everywhere…"

Shi Shaoning: "Overload of couple spam on Thursday, the director’s fingernails are giant southern cockroaches! Crunch! I’ll wipe you all out in one go!"

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Shi Shaoning: "Xue Lu sits on a whale’s head and gets blown sky-high by its blowhole. I didn’t because I’m a puppet. Pinocchio pushed too hard. Grandpa is roasting sweet potatoes in the whale’s belly, saying: So fragrant!"

Lin Jianyuan: "???"

Lin Jianyuan froze for a second, then quickly realized—

Oh no!

Shi Shaoning was delirious!!!

Lin Jianyuan grabbed Shi Shaoning and ran, rushing him to emergency treatment.

A SAN check confirmed it—sure enough, his sanity had dropped.

The contamination levels on both of them were off the charts. The moment they left the chamber, the environmental detectors in the hallway started blaring.

Only then did Lin Jianyuan realize that when they jumped into the pool earlier, the mobile terminal on his wrist hadn’t alarmed not because the levels were low—

But because the terminal had completely fried.

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Does this count as damaging public property?

At this point, Lin Jianyuan finally gained a clear understanding of Delirium’s "epic-level enhancement."

No wonder even Xie Yu couldn’t handle it…

Half an hour later.

All pollutants had been decontaminated from Shi Shaoning’s body.

But the effects of delirium remained.

Shi Shaoning couldn’t stay still in the hospital bed. He paced around the room, occasionally shaking his arms as if flicking nonexistent wide sleeves.

Sometimes he clasped his hands behind his back, looking up at the wall clock and howling at the sky.

Shi Shaoning: "The scripts are staring, all hundred thousand words! Almond—is that you, troll’s brain core? The lighting must target the pectoral muscles at a 45-degree angle. Ah! Don’t go! The gym grew legs and took a helicopter to work overtime!"

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Xie Yu: "."

The Director: "."

The fighters and medical staff: "."

Shi Shaoning looked around and suddenly said, "What’s wrong with all of you? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, thinking, as expected of an A-Class Fighter, his mental resilience is high—he recovered so quickly.

Shi Shaoning frowned: "Spotlights don’t evaporate film, Oscar statuettes are all in bizarre outfits? Your floral-scented antiseptic water is wavy and mocks the mentally challenged. Delete! The troll’s large intestine and the Director hang from the lampposts together! Then retire. Mom, I swear I’ll retire after this FLAG!"

Everyone: "???"

The Director: "."

Lin Jianyuan patted the Director’s shoulder: "Don’t take it to heart, he’s delirious. He’s talking nonsense."

The Director said with a strained smile: "Understood, understood."

Shi Shaoning glanced at Lin Jianyuan and suddenly flew into a rage: "Dog food! Dog intestines! Dog-food-eating man’s intestines! No roasting starch sausages during work hours!!! Sell them all off! Sell them all off! Commoner Evil Domain and legitimate Delirium go forage for wild greens together!!"

Lin Jianyuan: "………………"

The Director patted Lin Jianyuan’s shoulder: "Don’t take it to heart, he’s delirious."

Lin Jianyuan’s mouth twitched: "Understood, understood."

"Shi Shaoning." Xie Yu suddenly said, sounding annoyed.

Lin Jianyuan and the Director quickly formed a united front:

"Don't mind him! / Baby, don't mind him! He's delirious right now! / He's not in his right mind! Don't blame him! / Don't you dare kill him!!!"

"Why am I the lesser 'Delirium' while he's the superior one? Why am I inferior and he's superior?!" Xie Yu fumed, "In what way am I worse than that idiot! Shi Shaoning! You're talking nonsense with your eyes wide open!"

Everyone: "???"

Is that really the point here?!

Lin Jianyuan didn't know whether to laugh or cry, quickly pulling his roommate over to soothe him: "He really is talking nonsense, he's delirious, let's just ignore him, baby don't be angry, let's just ignore him, okay."

—In any case, it was a close call.

Shi Shaoning's mental resistance was indeed remarkable. Although he had been hit with a massive dose of contaminants from the "epically boosted" 'Delirium' at close range, after the contaminants were washed away, his mental state was visibly recovering quickly.

After three hours of severe delirium, he started speaking incoherently.

Another three hours of incoherence later, he started frantically reciting lines and forcibly made Lin Jianyuan act out scenes with him.

Acting out scenes was one thing.

The key was that after a while of acting, he absolutely needed to be praised for his acting skills.

He demanded fresh compliments every time.

Otherwise, he'd have a meltdown—slapping himself, rolling around screaming.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

His first instinct was to pull out his AI.

But after a moment's thought, he turned it off.

Instead, he called the guy best at handling people:

"Hey, Pei Shuo, I've got a patient here..."

Golden Retriever! Time to return the favor!

After all, Shi Shaoning had jumped into the antiseptic pool to save him, so Lin Jianyuan voluntarily stayed to look after him.

He also enlisted Pei Shuo as external support, guiding him over the phone on how to give genuine compliments.

As it turned out, sincerity is always the ultimate weapon.

Shi Shaoning lapped up the praise.

So he stopped rolling on the floor and having meltdowns.

The Director, of course, wasn't idle either.

Lin Jianyuan assigned the Director to handle matters related to Shi Shaoning's acting career—because he hadn't returned to the film set for so long, numerous bad hashtags like "Shi Shaoning throwing his weight around yet again" had already trended on social media.

Lin Jianyuan instructed the Director to mobilize the Bureau's public relations team to handle the PR with swift and decisive measures.

He also posted a video of Shi Shaoning reciting lines in his hospital room, building his image as someone dedicated to his work even while ill.

The situation was pretty much handled.

By the time Shi Shaoning was fully back to normal, it was already past 10 p.m.

Lin Jianyuan finally breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Bro, I really owe you one."

Shi Shaoning said coldly, "Get out."

Lin Jianyuan: "If it weren't for saving me..."

Shi Shaoning threw a pillow at him and roared, "Don't you dare spread this! Get out!!!"

Lin Jianyuan, trying not to laugh, pulled his roommate along to make a quick exit.

The farce over, they finally returned home.

"Baby, I still think it's weird. Why do you think 'Delirium' came after me?" Lin Jianyuan said while changing his shoes.

"Don't know," his roommate replied, sounding irritated. "No idea. So annoying."

Lin Jianyuan could tell right away that his roommate was both jealous and worried about him, so he pounced onto the couch and tickled his roommate's most ticklish spot—the right colon.

At first, the roommate tried hard not to laugh, but after being cuddled and kissed with "baby, baby," the two of them fooled around on the couch for a while until the roommate finally burst into giggling uncontrollably.

Mhm.

All cheered up~

Lin Jianyuan patted his roommate's soft belly, got up from on top of him, and headed into the kitchen.

Actually, during the day, Lin Jianyuan had also made time to report the 'Delirium' incident to the Director.

The Director sat at his desk, hands clasped together under his chin.

After listening, he looked pensive.

The Director: "So you also think..."

Lin Jianyuan nodded: "The reason ['Delirium']'s movements are so erratic is because he's been looking for me all along."

Everything clicked into place.

When Lin Jianyuan helped Shi Shaoning write the containment records last time, he'd heard him mention 'Delirium''s movement routes.

At the time, Lin Jianyuan was a bit curious, so he casually checked the Bureau's records.

As an A-Class Fighter, there were hardly any confidential details off-limits to him.

As soon as Lin Jianyuan saw the records, they felt familiar.

Holy crap, wasn't this his commuting schedule?!

But he didn't have that big an ego. At the time, he didn't think 'Delirium''s movement routes had anything to do with him.

This antiseptic pool incident made it clear.

Unbelievable.

It really was about him.

"He really has some nerve!"

"The director and I talked for ages but couldn't come to any conclusions—there's just too little evidence. He said he’d report it to the higher-ups and check if there are any similar cases in the Administration’s records. I plan to visit Jingwei tomorrow as well—Baby, are you thirsty? Do you want some ice-cold Coke? Or watermelon juice?"

Lin Jianyuan pulled open the fridge door in the kitchen.

"I want coconut juice—"

A voice trailed from the sofa in the living room.

His now-pacified roommate had once again started acting spoiled at the drop of a hat.

As if he couldn’t speak without being coquettish.

What a little faker!

The corners of Lin Jianyuan’s mouth curved upward as he opened the fridge and reached for the coconut juice on the door.

Just as his hand went out, Lin Jianyuan froze.

Huh?

What’s this in the fridge?

An eggplant?

Why does it look so oily?

Squinting suspiciously, Lin Jianyuan tried to take the eggplant out.

The moment his hand touched it—

Sliiip.

It slid right out of his grasp.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Just as he was baffled, he caught sight of a bunch of bananas out of the corner of his eye, sitting by the sink.

Each banana was stiff and unripe—definitely not edible.

The weird part was, every single banana was also glistening with oil.

Oily and slippery.

And around the base of each was a suspicious-looking rubber rim…

Lin Jianyuan: "???"

Two seconds later.

Lin Jianyuan, now pale with panic, grabbed the eggplant and bananas and rushed over to his roommate, yelling incoherently.

"Oh no, oh no! Baby, quick, look! Has our home been invaded by some crazy heretic again?!"

Terrified, he showed the two bizarre objects to his roommate.

"Why are there condoms on the eggplant and bananas, ahhhh!!"

Roommate: "Ah, that was me. I put those on."

Lin Jianyuan let out a sigh of relief: "Oh, it was you? Then it’s fine—"

Still Lin Jianyuan: "Huh?!!!"