Chapter 14 The Broad Mind of a Mental Patient

Chapter 14: The Expansive Minds of the Mentally Unhinged

"So, not only did you dream of a rich auntie offering you a life of leisure, but you also gained a Teddy cousin..."

Pei Shuo laughed so hard he slapped the floor. "Is that your excuse for almost being late today?! But why is the Teddy a 'bro'?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Because the Teddy is 5 years old. One dog year equals seven human years, so in human years, it's already 35—older than me."

"Hahahaha! That makes perfect sense!"

"I'm dying, Lin Jianyuan, how are you this funny even in your dreams!"

The office instantly erupted into a sea of laughter.

Lin Jianyuan glanced at his gleefully laughing colleagues, then turned to look at the wall beside him.

In just one short weekend, the wall had become completely covered in Eye Vines.

Dense green leaves obscured the crack in the wall, the roots of the Eye Vines soaking in a mug of goji, chrysanthemum, and cassia seed tea, growing vigorously.

No one questioned the abundance of vines, and no one noticed the wall had cracked.

This doesn't make sense.

If they can't see the vines, how could the vines be covering the crack in the wall?

If they can see the vines, why isn't anyone surprised by such a large patch of suddenly appearing foliage?

The more Lin Jianyuan pondered, the more confused he became. Finally, he smacked his forehead.

Almost forgot—I'm crazy!

Why am I overthinking this? Did I take my meds today?

Turns out, I didn't.

Lin Jianyuan hurriedly took his medication. After the pills, he felt much more clear-headed and began planning his tasks for the day.

There wasn't much work to do today—and whenever Lin Jianyuan had this thought, without fail, trouble was bound to happen.

"What?! Burning incense?!" Lin Jianyuan’s incredulous voice drew the attention of everyone in the office.

Frowning deeply, Lin Jianyuan got up and went to a corner to make a phone call. It took him a long while to return.

He had torn off many leaves of the Eye Vines in the process.

"What’s wrong, bro? Who’s burning incense?" Pei Shuo looked puzzled. "It’s not another ridiculous client request, is it? But why are they asking you to burn incense?"

"They’re not asking me to burn incense; they want me to incorporate burning incense elements into the KV," Lin Jianyuan said, his lips twitching. "There’s been a viral meme lately about young people choosing to burn incense instead of hustling or working... and that whole 'Yonghe Temple has read and responded nonsensically' trend. The client loves it and wants us to play into that meme."

Pei Shuo: "But the client sells ergonomic chairs... How do ergonomic chairs relate to burning incense?!"

Lin Jianyuan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and suppressed his anger: "...First, go gather some references. As per the client’s request..."

Before he could finish instructing, Qin Shi suddenly let out a scream: "Where’s the Wind Spirit data on the OA?! The stuff I put in the 'Do Not Delete' folder is gone! I have to submit the long-term analysis today, ahhh!"

Wind Spirit was the client that had nearly angered the black cat last time.

As per standard procedure, they needed to compare LTV across different user channels over the past month, calculate the amortization period for traffic costs, and observe changes in the brand search index over the last 30 days.

Data analysis had always been Qin Shi’s responsibility.

The raw data could actually be retrieved from third-party platforms, but it was massive and messy. After organizing and analyzing it, Qin Shi would upload it to the company’s shared drive for easy access by all departments.

Coincidentally, her computer had broken down yesterday and was still being repaired. She had assumed no one would delete anything on the OA, but now those files were inexplicably missing.

Lin Jianyuan said calmly, "First, check the operation logs to see if you can recover the files. If not, quickly download the data again from the third-party platforms. I’ll help you with it at noon... Pei Shuo, what’s that look on your face? Spit it out."

Pei Shuo slowly put down the office landline receiver, looking bewildered: "The Wind Spirit liaison said their boss is flying to Europe this afternoon and wants us to move up the long-term analysis report to 1 p.m...."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Qin Shi: "..."

Su Zhiwei: "Ah!"

A vein bulged on Lin Jianyuan’s forehead: "What now?!"

Su Zhiwei: "There’s a cockroach! It ran over to Qin Shi’s side!"

Qin Shi: "Ahhhh—"

Squish! Lin Jianyuan crushed the squeeze toy in his hand!

Time froze, and the cockroach scurrying across the floor instantly halted.

Lin Jianyuan rushed over and stomped the cockroach flat!

Releasing the squeeze toy, time returned to normal.

Just as Lin Jianyuan was about to retreat in victory, Qin Shi screamed and grabbed him: "Don’t lift your foot! Its antennae are still moving! Press harder and grind it a few more times!"

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

After several rounds of grinding, the cockroach finally lost all signs of life, declared clinically dead.

Lin Jianyuan finally made it back to his workstation, only to hear a faint, mournful whimpering.

Lin Jianyuan flew into a rage on the spot, glaring furiously at the wall, only to realize the crying wasn’t coming from the wall—it was from the squeeze toy in his hand.

"You... how could you..." the stress toy thief sobbed pitifully, "So this is how you deal with me—by stomping on me like a cockroach! You treat me like a cockroach!!!"

Lin Jianyuan: ###!

Instantly flying into a thirty-foot rage! He pulled out the squeeze toy, slammed it on the floor, and stomped on it repeatedly! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!

Squeeze toy: "Ahhh don’t stomp, don’t stomp! That’s the same foot you just used to crush the cockroach! Ahhh my shell is ruined, help!!!"

The squeeze toy was indeed a stress-relief toy. After tormenting it, Lin Jianyuan felt much better.

He plopped back into his chair and continued burying himself in his endless, dreary work.

The entire office sank into a tense atmosphere, everyone typing furiously on their keyboards, interspersed with exclamations like "dumbass," "so toxic," and "fuck, this damn job is unbearable."

Pei Shuo had never seen such a scene before, so he tucked his Golden Retriever tail between his legs, afraid his clumsiness would only add fuel to the fire.

Lin Jianyuan frowned deeply, highly focused.

While negotiating with the ergonomic chair client about possibly extending the deadline, he simultaneously browsed through materials related to "burning incense" and "Yonghe Temple."

While also teaching Pei Shuo how to set up the meeting room for the afternoon.

"Who's free?!" Jiang Chen's voice rang out from the second floor, dripping with condescension. "Go downstairs and fetch a package for me!"

"NO ONE IS!!!" everyone roared in unison.

Jiang Chen was startled. He turned back to his office while grumbling, "It only takes a few minutes to get a package…"

Lin Jianyuan suddenly looked up. "Director Jiang!"

Jiang Chen jumped again, his voice trembling slightly as he tried to sound calm. "What is it?"

"Do you have the long-cycle analysis for the Wind Elf? It should have been sent to you for review on OA." As soon as Lin Jianyuan said this, Qin Shi also had a sudden realization.

Right! If Jiang Chen had opened and looked at it, there might be a saved copy on his computer!

"Oh, yes, I have it," Jiang Chen said. "I downloaded it yesterday."

We're saved!

Qin Shi's face lit up, and she quickly grabbed a USB drive and rushed into Jiang Chen's office.

A few minutes later, Qin Shi stormed back, fuming and cursing, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Lin Jianyuan: "What happened? Couldn't find it?"

Qin Shi: "Not only couldn't I find it!!! Fuck, can you believe it! Jiang Chen showed off by changing his system language to English, then his blind eyes mistook 'delete' for 'download'! Fuck!!! He's the one who deleted my file! What a fucking idiot!!!"

Lin Jianyuan: "…"

Everyone: "…"

Mystery solved. Everyone let out relieved curses of "Fuck."

Lin Jianyuan took a deep breath and instructed, "Pei Shuo, can you use SPSS? Good, go help him with the graphs first. I'll work on the analysis with you later…"

Chaos broke out. The entire day, Lin Jianyuan's ass seemed glued to his computer chair. Every time he tried to stand up, something interrupted him, forcing him to sit back down and dive into another round of endless work.

"Fuck! I'm about to burst!" Qin Shi was also swamped and too busy to care about her image. She grabbed a pack of tissues and dashed to the restroom.

Lin Jianyuan hadn't drunk water or used the restroom all day either. Just as he thought about getting up to move around, he suddenly noticed a few strands of red thread drifting past his eyes.

"?" Lin Jianyuan was stunned.

The other end of the red thread was attached to Qin Shi. As she hurried to the restroom, the seemingly alive, slender red thread vanished in an instant.

Lin Jianyuan couldn't help but rub his eyes.

Another hallucination?

Exhausted, he leaned back. *Crack*—the back of his computer chair reclined.

He heard his bones and lumbar spine creak.

"Bro, want some coffee?" Pei Shuo yawned, handing over his phone. "My treat. I'm so tired, haah—"

Lin Jianyuan was also exhausted. He straightened up and reached for Pei Shuo's phone when he heard another sound from his spine.

*Crack.*

At the same time, he felt something hook onto his back.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Puzzled, Lin Jianyuan turned his head, but the pulling force on his back only grew stronger, almost yanking him harshly back against the chair!

"Bro, what's wrong?" Pei Shuo noticed his strange expression and couldn't help asking.

Lin Jianyuan: "My ass is numb."

"Ugh, me too." Pei Shuo stood up, squinted, and stretched comfortably.

Two thin, long red threads trailed from his butt.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Suspicious, Lin Jianyuan narrowed his eyes. He wasn't mistaken—Pei Shuo had two inexplicable red threads attached to his butt.

Thin, long red threads, each stuck to one of Pei Shuo's butt cheeks.

Lin Jianyuan felt it was inappropriate to stare at a male intern's butt, so he quickly shifted his gaze to the other end—the black seat of the computer chair.

The mesh computer chair seat appeared completely normal.

However, the moment Pei Shuo stood up, his movement clearly stiffened.

It was obvious the two red threads were also tugging at him.

"Finally noticed, huh~"

The stress toy thief suddenly grinned evilly. "Hehe, let me tell you, this thing is called a Blood Thread. It's a Class C anomaly~ It's not as pure and harmless as the Eye Vine. I’d like to see how you deal with this…"

*Snip!*

Lin Jianyuan grabbed a pair of scissors and swiftly snipped behind his back.

"Wait, hold on?" The stress toy suddenly panicked, hopping down onto his knee and frantically bouncing. "Don't cut it! This is your lifeline too! If you cut it, your life force won't return!"

"This thing is sucking my life force?"

Hearing this, Lin Jianyuan snipped even faster. *Snip, snip!*

With his swift cuts, his back finally separated from the computer chair.

Lin Jianyuan had more room to move. He turned to look and indeed, countless short, blood-red threads extended from his back.

The other ends of the blood threads had been cut, and the remaining parts swayed like sea anemones, as if they would reattach to the chair upon contact.

Lin Jianyuan took one glance and continued cutting the red threads under his butt.

"You—you!" The stress toy thief frantically poked him with its tentacles. "Why are you in such a hurry?! You didn’t even ask me! Cutting the blood threads is bad for your well-being!"

"This is nothing." Lin Jianyuan snorted coldly. "I’m still working this damn job. You think I’m afraid of this?"

Stress toy: "…"

True.

What could be more life-draining than work!

Lin Jianyuan dropped the scissors and stood up, only to notice Pei Shuo looking at him with unease.

"Bro, what were you talking about just now? What's sucking your life force?"

Pei Shuo's eyes were filled with concern that clearly said, "Oh my god, are you having another episode? You should go rest right away!"

Lin Jianyuan glanced back at the office chair, then at the screen displaying the Yonghe Temple incense-burning scene, and suddenly had a flash of inspiration!

"Damn!" Lin Jianyuan yanked the office chair over and dropped back into it, a grin spreading across his face. "Serves me right for making a living like this! My brain is seriously amazing!"

Pei Shuo: "???"

Hold up, did the topic just shift that fast?

Is this what they call—the expansive minds of the mentally unhinged???