Chapter 82 Named [Bald Monster]

Chapter 82: Bestowed the Name "Baldy Monster"

With the bureau chief's strong backing, the toilet water—no, the Sobering Potion shampoo—was quickly developed and yielded results.

Lin Jianyuan got his hands on the finished product right away.

He immediately replaced all the shampoo in their home.

"No more will get in," his roommate said. "I’ve already designated our home as a protected zone. Heretics of this level won’t be able to enter again."

"Still, better to use it," Lin Jianyuan said, touching his hair with lingering unease. "I heard they added a lot of anti-hair loss and strengthening ingredients to this shampoo..."

Before the product could hit the market, it naturally needed packaging.

So the Management Bureau contacted a classic toilet water brand for a collaboration.

They also reached out to review influencers across major social media platforms for a coordinated campaign.

—This was Lin Jianyuan’s suggestion.

After all, coming from an advertising and marketing background, Lin Jianyuan understands consumer psychology inside out.

If you simply delivered free shampoo to office workers, those busy people would just irritably wave you away like shooing flies.

Handing out free eggs wouldn’t work either—they weren't at that age yet.

But subtle promotional campaigns were different.

As long as it was subtle enough, accurately targeted, plus a little bit of advertising creativity…

And creativity happened to be Lin Jianyuan’s specialty.

So, not long after.

Lin Jianyuan scrolled through the group chat messages.

Qin Shi: Holy crap, have you guys used that shampoo from last time? It’s amazing! The oil control is unbelievable. I can go five days without washing my hair and it still isn’t oily!!!

Su Zhiwei: !!! I used it too! It’s incredible! When I first saw it on Little Red Book, I thought it was an ad. I was like, damn, big data really is eavesdropping—just talked about balding with you all and now it’s pushing shampoo ads. Didn’t expect it to actually be this good!!

Pei Shuo: Huh? That was a soft ad? I saw it too. I watched this review. Kinda tempted. [Link]

Qin Shi: Handsome, you don’t need it, you have so much hair. [crying]

Su Zhiwei: Handsome, you don’t need it, you have so much hair. [crying]

Followed by a chain of identical messages.

Pei Shuo: [awkward] Ah, actually, I’ve been losing quite a bit of hair lately. Not sure if it’s because of staying up late...

Pei Shuo: But I also secretly bought this shampoo. [hehe] Haven’t felt the effects yet, but the toilet water scent is so nice! After washing my hair, it feels like even mosquitoes would stay away from me!

This was a small group chat without idiots like Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli.

Lin Jianyuan watched the flood of messages, a smirk curling his lips.

Quietly proud of his unseen impact.

He hadn’t deliberately promoted it to his former colleagues, yet they were all using it. Clearly demonstrating it had accurately reached the target audience.

Backend data also showed that most people in the office building had already purchased their product.

The few who hadn’t either hadn’t been infected by the Black Sesame anomaly.

Or simply didn’t care about balding.

Well… that’s fine too.

Whether you go bald or not isn’t important.

As long as one person in an area has used their product, the Sobering Potion can remain in the hair for a period, spreading locally and maintaining a certain concentration.

So those who didn’t use their shampoo could continue balding.

But the black sesame they carried would be eliminated.

Turning them into just regular bald people unrelated to heretics.

They got what they deserved.

Anyway, the Black Sesame incident was thus successfully resolved.

There was one small issue left.

Since this new type of heretic was first discovered and neutralized by Lin Jianyuan, he had the right to name it.

Thus, the black sesame was bestowed the name—

"Baldy Monster."

Nienie Le: "..."

Xiao Shitour: "..."

Angel Eyeball & Maw of the Abyss & Shy LEGO: "..."

Alright.

Truly a naming that fits Lin Jianyuan’s consistent style—thoroughly on-brand.

Heretic name: "Baldy Monster"

Heretic level: D "Extremely Low Risk"

ID number: "XXXXXXX"

Current status: "Neutralized"

Lin Jianyuan added the relevant materials for the X God Toilet Water collaboration shampoo to the containment report, then suddenly realized another problem.

Crap.

How did he end up being so competent again?!

This is a major workplace taboo!

If you’re capable, you’ll get stuck with more tasks!

No no no, this won’t do.

I need to tone it down from now on and not be so showy anymore.

Lin Jianyuan was deep in thought.

On set.

"Cut!"

The director shouted.

Everyone rushed over to help Shi Shaoning untie the wires from his body.

This TV series is a costume drama blending suspense, fantasy, martial arts, and romance.

It has all the elements, and the script, costumes, and production design are all well-done.

And, of course, the most important part—the actors.

Shi Shaoning is the male lead in this drama.

His previous project was a fantasy romance costume drama with the rising star Xue Lu, which was well-received and generated high discussion after its release.

Netizens pointedly remarked: "Xue Lu acted very well, and Shi Shaoning was also present."

The heated discussions were split—half praising the female lead, half criticizing him.

Shi Shaoning took a lot of heat during that time.

The Management Bureau was also busy, which made him in a bad mood.

But this current project is different.

In this drama, his character is a dark, obsessive, and yandere male ghost.

Although Shi Shaoning himself isn’t naturally suited for this type of role, he has an anomaly with him!

As everyone knows, anomalies feed on negative emotions.

In fact, anomalies can also actively project emotions.

The mechanism is similar to nuclear fusion.

For example, if one person in a crowd falls into panic, others around them can also become infected. Thus, the emotion of "panic" ricochets around the crowd like a pinball, triggering chain reactions until it spirals out of control.

Anomalies can then feed freely.

But what if this "emission" is confined within a controllable range?

Once, Shi Shaoning had a sudden idea, bringing the emotions emitted by the anomaly into his acting.

The result was excellent!

Absolutely exhilarating!

Shi Shaoning had never been so immersed in a role before!

He felt as if he had truly become that dark male ghost, filled with an obsessive, unfulfilled desire for the female lead!

He acted so intensely that even after the director called "cut," he couldn’t snap out of character right away.

The damp, sinister stare of the male ghost fixated intensely on the female lead, which made her turn pale.

The shrewd director kept this behind-the-scenes clip and used it for early promotion, releasing it online to build hype.

After filming, Shi Shaoning sat in the dressing room, letting the makeup artist remove his makeup.

Although Shi Shaoning was emotionally intense during filming, off-camera he was still that cool guy.

No particular reason.

Emotions should be used where they matter most!

After removing his makeup, there was still a complex skincare routine to follow.

No helping it—celebrities rely on their looks to make a living.

Shi Shaoning actually finds it annoying to work on his face like this, but it’s still better than pulling overtime at the Management Bureau.

At least no one’s calling him to work overtime…

—No! Can’t think like that!

Shi Shaoning jumped in alarm and quickly checked his terminal.

Phew, good, good. The terminal didn’t ring.

He must never think like that again in the future!

Just jinxing himself!

Shi Shaoning took a deep breath and decided to browse Xiaohongshu to relax.

As soon as he opened the Xiaohongshu app, the algorithm immediately pushed a popular post:

"Shi Shaoning overacted."

Shi Shaoning: "?"

Hah. Fame comes with drama.

Shi Shaoning decisively swiped away.

Next one.

"Shi Shaoning’s approach to acting: stare, stare, roar, stare."

Shi Shaoning: …

The script literally says "stare at the female lead"—should I slap the script in your face so you can take a closer look?!

Swipe away.

Next one.

"Other sinister male ghosts: 'I will watch over you forever, forever, forever.' Shi Shaoning’s sinister male ghost: 'Off work, off work, off work… just one more stare and then off work… off work…'"

"His eyes show no greed for the female lead, only an eager desire to clock out!"

"Who else gets it? Shi Shaoning must be trapped in some corporate scheme! That strong vibe of being made to work overtime. I’m dying of laughter!"

Shi Shaoning: "???"

What? Wasn't this the scene where he delivered an incredibly immersive, exhilarating, and utterly satisfying performance?

Shi Shaoning lost control of his expression.

He froze on the spot.

The rehabilitated heretics following Shi Shaoning all looked up at once.

Huh?

Feeding time again?

(Chomp chomp)

Just as Shi Shaoning was feeling irritated, his phone vibrated with a new message.

Lin Jianyuan: "Free tonight? Wanna shoot some hoops?"

Lin Jianyuan: "We can get dinner too. Didn’t I still owe you a meal last time?"

Shi Shaoning, deadpan, stabbed at the screen with his finger:

"Yes."

"Play."

"Eat."

Nighttime. Basketball court.

"You’ve really hit the big time now."

Shi Shaoning arrived at the court, glanced around, and said, "You went and rented out the whole court."

This was the same basketball court where Shi Shaoning first met Lin Jianyuan.

Shi Shaoning still remembered that period when "Delirium" kept appearing. He was constantly juggling between the film set and mission locations, severely sleep-deprived and extremely irritable.

It eventually wiped him out. He couldn’t focus on acting and got reamed out by the director.

The director told him to get back in shape, so he took sick leave from the Agency to rest properly.

After all, acting was his main job. The Agency was just a side gig.

That’s what Shi Shaoning had always believed.

But then, one night while he was out for a walk alone, the Agency suddenly slapped him with an emergency mission.

They said the Mark of Delirium had appeared nearby and told him to check it out immediately.

Shi Shaoning blew a fuse on the spot.

The memory of his last confrontation with Delirium was still vivid.

The S-class psychic contamination was nothing to sneeze at. Even after drenching himself in 10 liters of toilet water afterward, he still came down with symptoms of delirium.

It caused him to make a total spectacle of himself during a variety show recording.

For the first time in his life, he made it onto the trending list. The topic was:

#Shi Shaoning Turns Dating Show into Delirium Show

A total disgrace!

Although it later proved to be a silver lining, leading to more variety show and endorsement opportunities,

Shi Shaoning had always nursed a grudge about it.

He thought: Who would have thought that now…

"You’re a celebrity. We just didn’t want you to be recognized," Lin Jianyuan said with a laugh. "Need to change your shoes?"

Shi Shaoning looked Lin Jianyuan up and down in his sportswear.

A far cry from his usual office drone look, today he was wearing a T-shirt, beach shorts, and white sneakers. It was the first time Shi Shaoning had seen him dressed so athletic.

He looked much more young and lively, almost like a college student.

Shi Shaoning then glanced at Evil Domain beside him.

Hmm. As usual, not wearing its skin.

A full pink digestive tract floated in midair above the basketball court.

Shi Shaoning couldn’t help but look over Evil Domain from top (mouth) to bottom (colon).

Still hard to imagine: How could Lin Jianyuan call this mass of organs "wifey"?

Do they even kiss?!

Shi Shaoning broke out in goosebumps down his spine.

He quickly shut down that line of thinking.

"Not changing," Shi Shaoning said. "These shoes are fine. I’ve been repping this brand lately, and they sent me a ton. Want a pair? I’ll hook you up with two—"

Shi Shaoning glanced at Lin Jianyuan, then at Evil Domain, and corrected himself, "...I’ll give you a pair."

"Two pairs are fine, don’t be cheap,"

Evil Domain curled its mouth, then turned to "look" at Lin Jianyuan and said softly, "I don’t wear shoes, but he can switch between pairs~"

Lin Jianyuan let out a laugh, waving his hand and saying, "Just messing with you, just messing with you, don’t take it seriously."

He then turned and muttered something to Evil Domain.

Evil Domain cracked up after hearing it.

Its liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and intestines—all that offal—quivered with laughter.

Shi Shaoning: "..."

Sickening couple.

Oh no.

Sickening pile of guts!

Shi Shaoning patted the basketball and said, "How do we play? Three-on-three?"

Evil Domain turned his "head" and asked Lin Jianyuan, "What's three-on-three?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Three-on-three is small-team basketball. But we don’t need to worry too much about the rules, right? Baby, just make sure you don’t stretch yourself out too far."

Evil Domain: "What do you mean, don’t stretch myself out too far?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Like last time when you played with me—suddenly stretching yourself to two meters tall and dunking."

Evil Domain: "Oh, that’s not allowed?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Of course not, that’s totally cheating, hahaha. It’s fine when you’re playing with me, but Captain Shi is here this time. And hey, isn’t Pei Shuo coming later—oh, right."

Lin Jianyuan turned to Shi Shaoning and said, "My friend’s joining us later. How about we do 2v2 then? He’s an intern I mentored at the company. A really good kid."

Shi Shaoning, already warmed up, replied casually, "Fine by me."

Right after he said that—

Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!

The mobile terminals of all three rang simultaneously.

Lin Jianyuan: "Crap."

Evil Domain: "Shit."

Shi Shaoning: "Damn!!!"

Which damn idiot now?!

Who’s stupid enough to mess with two A-Class Fighters and a Class S heretic?!

Asking for trouble!!!