Chapter 145: I Can’t Pretend in Front of Him

"So romantic it made me cry! Yi Siyu publicly professed his love during Jian Ye's livestream!"

"This must be the cutest couple in the entertainment industry this year!"

"If you love your wife, buy him a shop bearing both your names!"

"The rich can find true love too, and celebrities can have real relationships!"

"Ignoring all netizens and kissing passionately in public—so bold! Why not just do it right there?"

"You can always trust the Rainy Night CP—they'll feed you relationship goals."

"In Jian Ye's livestream, there's no room for sadness. He's sweet, and the couple together is even sweeter."

...

When Zhuang Yao came across these online posts, he had just swallowed the bitterest medicine.

Suffering from a severe cold, he hadn’t been to the studio for days, lying at home, thermometer in mouth.

The young man’s face was flushed with an unnatural fever-flushed hue. The dim room and the blue glow from his phone screen masked some of his sickly pallor.

He had never particularly envied anyone in his life—not even when Yi Siyu had turned him down before.

But since returning to the country, he found himself growing increasingly envious of Jian Ye and Yi Siyu.

These two—one was his childhood friend, and the other had now become a close friend, practically a "bestie."

At first, Jian Ye had called him "Brother Zhuang Yao," but now he started calling him by his first name, sometimes even scolding him in frustration.

And rightly so—he was hopeless when it came to romance.

Over a year since his return, and he still hadn’t gotten through to that person.

Jian Ye had once given him advice, telling him that if all else failed, he could "make a move." It was a bold and risky move.

But Zhuang Yao had decided to try—only to fail miserably.

Just remembering it now still made him cringe.

A few days before Yi Siyu’s birthday this year, he had run into Yi Siyu at a banquet.

The man worked the room among wealthy businessmen and influential figures, expanding connections while closing deals. Zhuang Yao had been introduced by a CEO who had purchased his paintings.

He had since formed a professional friendship with that CEO, who suggested the event could help him network and find opportunities.

He never expected Yi Siyu to be among the attendees...

From the moment he saw him, Zhuang Yao’s mind was no longer on business—his eyes stayed glued to the man.

Yi Siyu in his element was even more captivating.

When it came to handling business and social interactions, Yi Sizhe always had everything under control.

Watching the man drink all evening, Zhuang Yao recalled Jian Ye’s words.

Could this be his chance...?

Two people who had too much to drink might naturally end up getting intimate—it wasn’t entirely impossible.

Zhuang Yao stared in Yi Sizhe’s direction and downed several glasses of champagne.

The alcohol content wasn’t too high, well within his limits, and he had it under control.

He needed to drink just enough to pretend to be drunk, not to actually black out.

There was still a big plan ahead—he needed to stay mostly sober but a little drunk.

As the event neared its end, Zhuang Yao staggered unsteadily toward Yi Sizhe.

Just as Yi Sizhe turned around, they collided.

Seeing him about to fall, Yi Sizhe quickly reached out to catch him.

“A Yao?”

“Yi… Eldest Brother… You’re here too… Fancy meeting you here…”

Zhuang Yao admitted he was a terrible actor, so he could only try to recall how he behaved when he was genuinely drunk.

“You’ve had too much. I’ll have my assistant take you home.”

Zhuang Yao froze. “??”

That wasn’t the script—why the assistant?

Was he worried he’d puke on him?

Before Zhuang Yao could overthink it, Yi Sizhe surprisingly explained. “I was driven here by a business partner from the group. I didn’t bring my own car, and my assistant is at the company. I’ll have him bring a car over.”

So that was it—he didn’t have a car.

Well, you don’t have one, but I do.

Without another word, Zhuang Yao pulled his car keys from his pocket and pressed them into the man’s hand. “T-take mine… I’ll… I’ll call a designated driver… No need… to call your assistant…”

There was a big plan ahead—how could Zhuang Yao let the assistant become a cockblocker? He was afraid that if the assistant showed up, they’d handle everything afterward, leaving him no chance to have a deeper conversation with Eldest Brother.

Today, Eldest Brother wasn’t getting out of driving. Opportunities like this were rare, and if he missed it, who knew how long he’d have to wait again?

Before Yi Sizhe could refuse, Zhuang Yao had already arranged for a designated driver, who arrived quickly.

Out of concern, Yi Sizhe had no choice but to accompany the “drunk” man home.

Zhuang Yao’s current residence was closer to his studio. His parents had divorced years ago and long since stopped interfering in his life—this was a villa he’d bought himself after returning to the country.

The designated driver he’d called seemed like he’d never driven a luxury car in his life, driving like a maniac.

Originally, Zhuang Yao could have maintained that three-parts-drunk act, but having eaten little at the event, his stomach was all booze. The driver’s wild zigzagging made his earlier private fears realized.

That’s right—he puked.

Right on the guy he liked.

He could have turned the other way to “aim,” but just as the nausea surged up his throat, a sudden jerk sent him in the opposite direction.

His gut rebelled—there was no stopping it.

"Ugh—"

At that moment, Zhuang Yao genuinely wished he could drop dead on the spot. He wanted to pick a fight with the driver, but he couldn’t just leave Yi Sizhe, who had gotten splashed, unattended.

Embarrassment and guilt flooded him—this was the first time since returning to China that he had been so utterly mortified.

"I'm sorry, Eldest Brother, I—"

"It's fine. You looked unwell earlier—getting it out probably helped."

Even at a time like this, Eldest Brother was still concerned about him. Zhuang Yao’s heart squeezed with guilty warmth.

He had overestimated his capacity for liquor. If only he had stuck to one drink.

Just one drink, and he definitely wouldn’t have reached the point of throwing up.

...

In the huge house,

the bathroom light was on.

Zhuang Yao sat on the sofa, hunched like a scared rabbit into the cushions, burying his head.

An unplanned disaster had shattered his fake drunk act.

Far from being convincingly drunk, he was now even more sober.

At this point, trying to cling to the other man or lean into him would be entirely inappropriate.

Zhuang Yao knew Yi Sizhe had a germ thing, so he quickly offered up his own bathroom, afraid the man might refuse.

Fortunately, Yi Sizhe didn’t decline.

He had vomited all over Yi Sizhe—the other man must be totally grossed out with him now.

He had planned to work his little scheme carefully, but it had collapsed right from the start.

He hadn’t even managed to hold Eldest Brother’s hand before destroying whatever last bit of romantic tension remained.

Zhuang Yao was so frustrated he wanted to bang his head against the wall.

When Yi Sizhe came out of the bathroom after cleaning up, he saw someone repeatedly bumping their head against the sofa.

The corner of his lips twitched briefly for a moment before disappearing again.

Knowing Zhuang Yao must be feeling awkward, Yi Sizhe spoke up first, "A Yao, the clothes you gave me fit you like they were made for you—just the right size."

Zhuang Yao snapped his head up, looking slightly nervous.

"I—I accidentally bought them too big and couldn't be bothered to return them, so I kept them. Since they fit you, Eldest Brother, you can have them." His heart hammered.

There was a whole section of clothes in his wardrobe tailored to Yi Sizhe’s exact measurements.

Zhuang Yao couldn’t bring himself to admit these weird little secrets.

Some of the clothes were even designed by him. When placing the orders, he always pictured...

how Eldest Brother would look wearing them.

By the time he came to his senses, half of the wardrobe at home had already become Yi Sizhe’s section.

"Alright, I'll take it."

Yi Sizhe didn’t refuse. He saw Zhuang Yao finally smiled.

Just moments ago, he had been like a wilted flower, but now he bounced back.

Yi Sizhe found it quite amusing, though he didn’t tease him about it.

Soon, Yi Sizhe’s assistant arrived to pick him up, bringing along some congee from Yixianju.

"Eat something warm—it’ll help your stomach. I’m guessing you didn’t eat anything tonight," Yi Sizhe said with certainty.

In the car, Zhuang Yao had only thrown up alcohol.

"Thank you, Eldest Brother..."

Zhuang Yao’s feelings were a mess. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything to ask Yi Sizhe to stay.

After such an awkward incident, all he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts.

Any ideas of making a move were completely gone.

He really couldn’t do what Jian Ye had suggested—he just couldn’t play games. In front of the person he liked, he wore his heart on his sleeve.

"Xiao Yu’s birthday is in a few days. He probably already invited you, right?"

"Yes, he mentioned it to me. He just wants to invite a few friends for an outdoor barbecue."

"Yeah. See you then, A Yao."

Suddenly, a big hand covered the top of his head, lingering for just a second before withdrawing.

Only when he was alone at home did Zhuang Yao finally snap back to reality...

Just now… Eldest Brother had ruffled his hair.

Like he was trying to cheer him up.

After that awkward incident, even on Yi Siyu’s birthday, Zhuang Yao still felt uneasy. Jian Ye had quietly asked if there had been any progress between them.

He truly was too embarrassed to say.

Jian Ye had told him that faking drunk worked like a charm—that was how he had managed to… with Yi Siyu.

Zhuang Yao just felt his heart ache, as if arrows were relentlessly striking his knees.

Different professions are worlds apart—no wonder Jian Ye could be an actor. He really wasn’t cut out for it. In front of Eldest Brother, he couldn’t pretend at all.

…

Memories flooded back.

Lying in bed, Zhuang Yao replayed all that cringe in his mind again, hugging the blanket tighter around himself.

He let out a harsh sneeze and slapped his phone face-down on the bed.

Everyone else was happy, while he remained alone.

Over the past six months or so, he and Yi Sizhe had made some progress.

It was just a matter of starting from scratch again. After abandoning the *Sunflower Manual*, he began adopting a gradual approach.

Now, their interaction was simple, just like ordinary friends.

Yi Sizhe was quite busy with work, and Zhuang Yao was afraid that daily messages would take up too much of his time, so he only reached out every other day.

Each time, Yi Sizhe responded thoughtfully, which made Zhuang Yao happy. As long as Yi Sizhe didn't avoid him, he was willing to keep being the proactive one.

But these past few days, he had been sick and running low on energy, so he hadn’t messaged Yi Sizhe for three days.

The medicine made him drowsy, and he was afraid he might miss a reply if he fell asleep, so he simply held off contacting him.

He thought it would be better to wait until he recovered.

Half-asleep, his phone seemed to vibrate, but Zhuang Yao drifted back to sleep, his mind foggy and body exhausted.

He didn’t hear the sound of his phone.

The medicine was doing nothing—his throat was dry and sore, and even the air he exhaled from his nose felt scorching hot.

He felt awful, craving ice water and icy drinks.

For a moment, he even felt like his ancestors were waving at him.

His health had never been robust. He’d gotten sick abroad too, but back then, he had roommates to help.

After returning home, he had to take care of himself, and he wasn’t always careful—sometimes dressing too lightly, sometimes forgetting meals while painting, eating irregularly, and his sleep schedule was erratic. His immunity had weakened.

And with Yunjing’s bitterly freezing winters, it was hard not to fall ill.