Chapter 114: Dimension 21

Chapter 114: Dimension 21

Yan Jing looked utterly baffled, blurting out instinctively, "Huh? But why use an elevator as an analogy? Can't you find a normal example that I can understand? You're making it impossible for me to imagine."

His face was filled with confusion, his mind unable to grasp the concept, but Yu Bai silently thought to himself that this was precisely the effect he wanted – this sense of bewilderment and inability to comprehend.

Because the other party wasn't a normal human being.

Perhaps only the elevator metaphor that had inexplicably popped into his head during his chat with Xiao Ming, his agent that afternoon, could be most fitting.

At its core, he simply couldn't associate human-created words like "love" and "like" with the indifferent and distant deity.

It was as if they were completely separated in two different worlds, gazing at each other from afar, unable to intersect.

A vast river lay between them, impossible to cross.

Yu Bai's expression was subtle, not revealing the reason, as he bent down to help up the innocent chair that had suffered. "Don't think about it. I was just rambling. Pretend you didn't hear anything."

Yan Jing had been racking his brain trying to understand what it felt like to fall in love with an elevator, but upon hearing this, he snatched the chair away and raised his voice. "No way! I clearly heard you!"

At the same time, he suddenly realized the key point in that sentence and exclaimed in shock, "You said 'how could one possibly like an elevator' instead of 'attacking each other.' Holy shit, do you really have someone you like?!"

"…" Yu Bai glared at him. "No! I already said it was 'how could one possibly.'"

Yan Jing's intelligence was unusually online, his curiosity bursting. "But there is still a specific person in your mind, right?! When I asked, you immediately thought of them. Who is it, who is it? Is it that person who suddenly has secrets?"

Yu Bai pondered for a moment, no longer denying it. "Yes, but I'm just curious… maybe because I'm not quite adapting to this change."

"Not adapting?"

"Mm, it's like the silver-gray elevator in the apartment building that you're used to seeing. One day, it suddenly turns a dazzling gold. Of course, you'd feel unaccustomed and wonder why it turned gold. It has nothing to do with whether you like it or not."

Yan Jing uttered an uncertain "oh," seemingly understanding.

He roughly grasped the feeling that Xiao Bai was describing.

However…

Yan Jing's confusion was genuine. "Do you have to use an elevator as an analogy?"

Can't you give an example with a living, breathing entity??

"…" Yu Bai averted his gaze, somewhat embarrassed. "Just leave it alone. I do as I please."

Yan Jing scrutinized his expression intently, his gaze deep. "Wait, you wouldn't—"

Yu Bai felt a jolt in his heart under Yan Jing's scrutiny, inexplicably growing nervous.

"What is it?"

"—you wouldn't actually have fallen in love with an elevator, would you?!"

Yan Jing's pupils widened in shock as he cried out, "Turns out you're not asexual, but object-sexual!!"

Yu Bai: "…"

He shouldn't have expected any sensible response from this guy.

"You're the object-sexual." He grumbled. "Keep your voice down and put the chair back properly."

Upon hearing this familiar reaction, Yan Jing sighed in disappointment, obediently righting the chair that he had accidentally overturned.

"Well, looks like you don't actually like elevators…"

His voice was soft, drifting out through the window crack. The light above their heads cast crisscrossing shadows in the room, while a faint silhouette was vaguely reflected on the kitchen window frame behind them.

The house had average soundproofing, and outside was a silent night.

When the dull thud of the chair falling reached the next door, the man sitting at the table, somewhat lost in thought before his notebook, paused slightly in his movements.

He lifted his eyes to glance out the window, hesitating for a moment. Just as the tip of his pen was about to inscribe mysterious characters onto the ancient paper again, muffled, excited voices came from next door.

The content was indiscernible; all that could be heard was a male voice, seemingly agitated.

The stationary pen left a deep drop of ink.

Then, the pen was set aside.

The man with a cold demeanor rose to his feet, heading toward the kitchen closest to the source of the noise.

Through the transparent glass window of the neighboring kitchen, a portion of the living room wall could be glimpsed. The view was limited, preventing sight of the people inside, but two pale black shadows moved slowly on the white wall, maintaining a distance from each other.

It didn't seem like any conflict was occurring.

His slightly curled black hair traced a tranquil arc in the evening breeze as the man was about to turn away from the kitchen.

As the distance suddenly narrowed, Yan Jing's voice drifted through the window crack.

"But, come to think of it, what kind of person do you like?"

The volume was low, diluted by the air several times over.

But to a being with keen senses, it was heard crystal clear.

The jet-black tips of his hair froze in the evening breeze.

He stopped in his tracks.

The room was brightly lit.

"I don’t like anyone." Yu Bai said.

He answered swiftly, and Yan Jing was far from satisfied. "No, can you answer me properly for once!"

Yu Bai was perplexed. "No, why are you asking this?"

"Just as you said, out of curiosity!" Yan Jing said, "We’ve known each other for so many years, and you’ve always been a heart of stone, unimpressed by anyone."

"You didn’t even bother with puppy love in high school, but when you got to university, Old Zheng confessed his feelings after four years of being close to you, and you didn’t waver at all. You even suspected that he was trying to borrow money from you…"

As he spoke, Yan Jing chuckled and gossiped, "I’m also curious about when and for whom you’ll suddenly turn into a brilliant gold."

"There won’t be such a day," Yu Bai said. "I won’t fall in love with anyone."

"…Why not?"

Yan Jing frowned, unable to help but think of the possibility that had just been denied a few minutes ago. "If you don’t like anyone, could it be that you’re really an object—"

Yu Bai was almost amused by his anger.

He did indeed laugh, interrupting his good friend’s nonsense with a light and casual tone.

"No, it’s because I’m incapable of love."

Yan Jing was taken aback, looking him up and down. It took him a moment to respond, "That’s impossible. No teacher has ever said that about you since we were kids. They all praised you for your good character and kindness towards others."

"…" Yu Bai sighed. "I meant that I don’t have the ability to love someone, not that I have antisocial personality disorder. How would teachers ever find out?"

Yan Jing tried to make sense of it, still not quite believing it. "But you’ve never been in a relationship. How do you know you don’t have that ability?"

"I just know."

Yu Bai fell silent for a moment. Seeing that Yan Jing wanted to ask more, he took the initiative to say, "You must have imagined what kind of person you’d date in the future, or even get married and have children with, right?"

Yan Jing replied without hesitation, "Of course! Who hasn’t thought about it?"

Yu Bai said, "I haven’t."

"I’ve imagined what my life would be like if I went to another university and pursued a different career," he said. "But I’ve hardly imagined, let alone yearned for, a future where I love and am loved by someone until old age."

Yan Jing was stunned, his tone softening. "Why not?"

"Because…" He asked seriously, and Yu Bai thought seriously about it. "Because I’m afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Mm, true love requires mutual exclusivity, intense passion, and desperate devotion. But I’m afraid of such emotions. I can’t bear the weight, nor do I want to. But if love isn’t like that, then it’s not true love."

"In the carefully planned life I’ve envisioned for myself since a young age, the ideal family doesn’t need to be overly harmonious, as long as they don’t part ways too early. Actually, many couples are like this, right? They marry and have children as if completing a task, without much love between them. There are many other things to consider, but their marital relationship can still be maintained, even if it’s a bumpy road. I actually think this is good, the life I want."

Yan Jing listened, entranced.

It was the first time he had heard Yu Bai reveal such inner thoughts.

In this ephemeral space-time that would vanish upon expiration.

"But, but…"

Countless doubts and words of advice circled on the tip of Yan Jing’s tongue. After stuttering for a while, he finally asked blankly, "Why?"

Why wouldn’t he want that precious, radiant true love?

Yu Bai thought for a long time before answering, "Because I don’t want to become the one and only irreplaceable person who is more important than everything else in anyone’s heart."

Yan Jing said without hesitation, "But you are irreplaceable to me, the most important friend!"

Yu Bai, however, said, "It’s different."

"How is it different?"

"We are just friends. Besides friendship, you have parents who you have a great relationship with, and in the future, you will have someone to spend the rest of your life with. These relationships are more important than friendship."

Yan Jing immediately shook his head. "No, they’re equally important."

"Then let’s say they are equally important." Yu Bai laughed. "Suppose one day, your parents force us to break off our friendship, or they won’t live. What would you choose?"

"…" Yan Jing was caught off guard by the question, feeling a momentary pang of guilt. "Why did you suddenly ask such a fatal question!"

"You don’t have to answer. I know the answer," he said with a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "It’s precisely because you would choose your parents that I became friends with you."

If Yan Jing’s original family was very unhappy and his relationship with his parents was terrible, so that when he was a child and couldn’t reach for love, he could only seek warmth and salvation from friendship, then actually, Yu Bai wouldn’t have become such a good friend to him.

He would have actively avoided him, staying far away.

Yan Jing was stunned, unable to untangle the logic and began to doubt his ears. "Wait, did you say something wrong or did I hear wrong? Why does it seem like you’re very satisfied that I didn’t choose you…"

"There’s no mistake. I am very satisfied," Yu Bai said earnestly. "In those crucial decisions, I want to be the one left behind. Only then will I feel at ease."

His tone was light and slow, exuding a serene certainty.

The listener realized that these were completely sincere words.

Yan Jing opened his mouth, wanting to say something in rebuttal or correction, but he suddenly remembered a distant past event and held back his words, no longer foolishly asking why.

He also recalled some things he had never noticed before.

"…No wonder over the years, you haven’t particularly resisted the kindness of Brother Tian and Uncle Li towards you," Yan Jing realized belatedly. "Is it because they also have other things that are extremely important to them in their hearts?"

The captain of the criminal investigation team was a workaholic, with lofty ideals that he pursued unwaveringly, and a strong sense of responsibility towards many people and matters.

In the heart of the retired mob boss, righteousness loomed larger than life, bound by a lifetime of loyalty to his band of brothers, their fates intertwined with his own.

The psychologist, needless to say, was devoted to her career, cherished her blissful family, and doted on her adorable daughter who loved having her pigtails braided while she playfully clung to her mother.

"Yes," Yu Bai admitted candidly, still with a hint of jest, "I'm not used to you being so sharp."

"…Neither am I," Yan Jing sighed deeply, her melancholy palpable. "Ignorance is bliss; knowing this has left me in such sorrow."

Yu Bai chuckled. "Don't worry, your real-world self won't remember this. You'll be left with just a faint sense of sadness, but once it passes, you'll be your happy, silly self again."

No one would recall tonight's conversation except for him.

Otherwise, he never would have spoken these words aloud.

The night outside the glass window lingered, its darkness dense and unyielding.

"Back to our original question," Yu Bai continued. "I've never been in love, but I know that if you truly love someone, you choose them resolutely, making them your irreplaceable one and only."

Yet he yearned to be forsaken.

He no longer wished to be the survivor, the one loved.

Being significant to someone was enough.

He didn't want to be the most important anymore.

"I reject such love and can't reciprocate it equally, which would be unfair to that person," he concluded. "So, I won't fall in love with anyone."

Observing his friend's complex, shifting expressions, Yu Bai couldn't help but think that the ephemeral nature of this cross-dimensional encounter had its advantages.

After hearing all this, the residual impressions and emotions in this Yan Jing would likely resonate with her real-world counterpart, quelling any curiosity or further inquiries about this matter.

This way, he could keep his secret intact without burdening his friend with an unsolvable riddle.

It was a win-win situation.

The summer night was tranquil as Yan Jing pondered for a long time, arriving at the same conclusion. "You wouldn't repeat what we talked about today to the real-world me, right?"

Yu Bai affirmed with a nod, his honesty unflinching.

"But could you remind me of something?"

"What is it?"

"When I get married and have kids, remind me not to accept your red envelope." Yan Jing said, sighing. "I feel like you might not get this money back, alas."

"…" Yu Bai smiled serenely. "Sure, I wasn't planning on giving one anyway."

"No, no, no, the formalities must be observed, or I fear my future in-laws might take offense. Just make sure I firmly decline it!"

"How am I supposed to remind you to refuse it? Shouldn't you be trying to brainwash yourself into leaving an impression that you shouldn't accept my red envelope in the future?"

"Cough, well, I don't trust my own mind, forget it, forget it. Let's eat, I'm starving—damn! The fried chicken is ice-cold. Don't you have a microwave?"

"We do, how long should I heat it for?"

The conversation returned to mundane, everyday matters.

Yu Bai walked towards the kitchen with the box full of cold fried chicken, his footsteps fading away and then growing closer.

Click.

Pale fingers flicked the light switch, flooding the space with bright light.

Outside the window, the night stretched on, silent and vast.

Yu Bai placed the fried chicken in the microwave, listening to its soft hum as the summer breeze cooled his ears.

Standing alone, he lost himself in thought for a moment before casually glancing over at the neighboring apartment.

What was Xie Wufang doing now?

Was he engrossed in studying commercials?

The adjacent kitchen was dark, revealing only a corner of the brightly lit living room. A slender silhouette, almost ethereal, was cast onto the wall, dreamlike and fleeting.

Moonlight flowed through the clear glass windows.

Inside, the night seemed untouched, as if no one had ever been there.