Chapter 147: Beloved 08

Chapter 147: Beloved 08

Yu Bai could distinctly feel the breath hovering close, along with the faint shadow, pressing down heavily and cornering him into an inescapable predicament.

The scorching breath hung above his hair.

...Or was it cold?

The air carried a lingering hint of alcohol, mixed with the rich scent of chocolate, causing Yu Bai to almost feel a dizzying sensation as if he were falling into a dream.

What was he thinking about during this moment of torrential rain outside the window?

And what had he been thinking when the universe was ablaze with fireworks?

"I..."

He spoke in a dazed voice.

All he could see was a captivating blue.

Despite the sultry summer night, he was forced into a winter that seemed endless and inescapable.

Don't lie.

Don't evade, don't clumsily change the subject...

Don't hide behind the shell he knew best and felt safest in.

The sudden flood of light forced Yu Bai's eyes shut, his long lashes trembling as they brushed against the suddenly reddened rims of his eyes.

"I, I was thinking..." He finally spoke in panic, "that it's very hard."

"To hide your true self is a very difficult thing."

The low and hoarse voice revealed an honest tone.

Anyone could sense it.

He lowered his gaze to look at those misty eyes and said softly, "Doing so is challenging, but I don't find it hard."

"No!" The human, completely enveloped by Him, suddenly raised his voice, "You're lying!"

"You've never been good at imagining things, you don't lie, you're completely different from humans, and you don't care about their feelings, yet you force yourself to learn everything about humans...forcing yourself to do so, does that make you happy?!"

A life without happiness must be hard.

The hurried tone tore through the warm yellow light, echoing in the kitchen for a long time.

After a while, the man who had taken in every subtle expression on his face spoke.

"No." His voice remained gentle, "But you will be."

"Yu Bai, you care about my feelings," cool and soft fingertips gently wiped away the moisture at the corners of his eyes, "just as I care about yours."

In the instant that the wetness was taken away, the human, utterly defeated, offered no more resistance.

"Yes, I care about your feelings..." He tilted his head up in a daze, quietly admitting something else, "because I think I've fallen for you."

"Just like how you feel about me."

Flecks of light danced in his hazel irises.

"At that moment, I saw countless red hearts pouring out of my chest, and I heard a very clear heartbeat."

"I've always been unsure what it means to have a heart flutter or to love, I thought I would never like anyone, those things were too distant and unfamiliar to me."

"But when it truly came...it just started pounding fiercely." The human, with reddened eyes, spoke incoherently, "At that moment, I was looking at you, I was just looking at you."

He was merely gazing at the deity who was indifferent to the destruction of the world, yet focused solely on him.

Before the uncontrollable throb of his heart, he, washed over by a myriad of complex emotions, told the other party without hesitation: there was no need to hide his true self anymore.

"I don't want you to feel hard-pressed, I don't want you to force yourself to become someone else, that's why I said that, I didn't mean to distance myself from you, I..."

The murmuring human suddenly couldn't continue, his voice hanging in the air, trembling until he was enveloped in an unfamiliar embrace.

Long and strong fingers gently wrapped around his slender back, and he was suddenly held by someone.

A barely audible whisper came from above his head, "Yu Bai, you're crying."

The suspended tears found a place to fall, soaking the man's shoulder.

Thus, even more tears welled up, completely eroding the barriers built by years of hardship.

The drunkard, having lost all reason, sobbed, "...I'm sorry."

Yu Bai couldn't remember the last time he had cried like this.

Perhaps it was when he was very young, insisting on talking to his father who was chopping vegetables, only to be terrified by the blood from accidentally cutting his finger, and then bursting into tears in his father's arms.

He hadn't cried like that since.

It was as if he had completely forgotten the taste of tears, living peacefully for over a decade.

Until he saw the golden fish, as bright as stars, swimming in the sky on a summer rooftop in another dimension.

Until he discovered in another dimension's summer courtyard that someone was paying a price to fulfill his wish.

On those two occasions, he only dared to lower his head or turn away, quietly chasing away the uninvited tears.

Up until now, he had been silently embraced by that deity who always fulfilled his wishes.

His tears suddenly found their voice.

He cried again, "I'm sorry."

"I thought I had truly accepted the real you. I really did believe that. But when I realized Jung Jiwoo had vanished, I suddenly became uncertain. I wasn't afraid of you, but I was afraid that others might die because of me."

"So... so I really didn't know."

"I didn't know if I liked the real you or the version of you that was uniquely special to me, the one who wouldn't harm me... If it's the latter, then it isn't love."

"I had already accepted you with open arms and said some presumptuous things, yet in the end, I wavered and doubted."

The slender, pale fingers clung tightly to the man's back, seeking an unshakable anchor as his sobbing voice was nearly drowned by tears.

In his growing confusion, Yu Bai lifted his face and asked Him, "Why do you like a human?"

"Compared to you, this is such a weak race. Humans love to lie, indulge in fantasies, and are often entangled by emotions. They use all sorts of means, yet they're always hesitant, going back on their words. We can never be as powerful, honest, and unchanging as you..."

"Humans are so useless, yet they have many desires, but often cannot obtain them. Sometimes it's due to powerlessness, sometimes cowardice, or perhaps both."

Under the night sky illuminated by lightning, the young man standing at the entrance of the ground floor unit, struggling to return, finally stopped in his tracks amidst his companion's fervent persuasion.

"We always fail to see the people we want to see most, and we can't get what we desire most, so... so we become deceitful and despicable, deceiving ourselves and others every moment. You'll never understand that feeling..."

In the house filled with only one person's presence, the usually calm and fearless youth wept uncontrollably, with memories surfacing and fading in his mind, leaving only repeated apologies.

"Xie Wufang, I'm sorry..." He held out a transparent heart in panic. "Actually, there's nothing about me worth liking. I'm just a very useless human."

If not for considering his feelings, Xie Wufang wouldn't have to exert himself to hide His nature. He could have been freer, more spontaneous.

"I'm afraid of becoming the most important person in someone's heart. I'm really afraid. I don't know how to respond to this kind of affection. It seems I lack the ability to love someone. This would be unfair. I—"

His tear-laced ramblings were interrupted by a clearer voice.

"I know." The man gazing at him whispered, "I know you're afraid of being the only one."

The man with red-rimmed eyes froze. "How could you...?"

This was the first time he had mentioned this matter to anyone in reality.

Xie Wufang continued, "I also understand that feeling."

"Not getting what you want most... I know what that feels like."

"So, I've become just like humans."

Tears slid down his silent cheeks as Yu Bai gradually widened his eyes in astonishment.

The familiar deep voice still echoed in his ears, belatedly answering his initial question.

"I came to find you tonight because the drunk you is more honest than usual."

Just like in the alternate snowy summer night, the clear-eyed drunk happily embraced the deity who made the snow fall, and unusually took the initiative to make a somewhat overstepping request.

—"I'd be a little unhappy when you hate them. Conversely, if they hate you, I'd also be unhappy."

—"So don't hate them. If you must, keep it in your heart, don't let me find out, okay?"

The man, unable to resist his radiant eyes, softly agreed.

Amidst the stormy weather, His gaze remained deep and tranquil. "...And no matter what happens tonight, no matter what your answer is, it won't completely destroy our relationship, because you'll forget everything."

Just like in the alternate dressing room, the woman who knew that her memories would vanish after the dimension dissipated looked thoughtfully at the piece of wood she had been secretly in love with for years.

—"We won't have any memories from here in the real world, at most leaving some vague impressions. Will you lose your inspiration because of this...?"

—"It's better this way. It doesn't really ruin a relationship, yet it preserves a chance for something to sprout."

The fragmented sentences scattered in the room where everyone was busy with their own tasks, coincidentally falling into the man's ears.

He had very keen senses and insight.

He was always adept at imitation and learning.

The fingertips that should have been cold gently wiped away the salty tears on his cheek once again.

Yu Bai strangely felt a burning sensation.

"Now, I've also become deceitful and despicable..."

His voice carried a soft hoarseness. "So, why can't I fall in love with a human?"

The unexpected words struck like a sudden flash of lightning, leaving Yu Bai bewildered and nearly speechless.

He said, "I promise you, no one will die because of you. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

"I haven't forced myself, nor do I feel that hiding my true nature is a difficult thing."

"—As long as it brings you to me."

That would be the fairest transaction.

The questions hanging in the air were plucked away, dissipating.

Yu Bai was caught off guard, his mind blank, instinctively wanting to resist the abyss that was drawing closer to him. "But, but I don't know..."

"You don't know if you like the real me or part of me," the man calmly continued. "There's only this last question left, right?"

Through the mist of tears, the disoriented human gazed into those eyes of utmost beauty, bewitched, nodding slowly.

Seeing his response, a faint smile rippled across the lake's surface.

"Then, would you like to see my true self?"