Chapter 3 Loss of Virginity

Chapter 3: Defiled

Yin Rou was still too weak. Just uttering those few words left her utterly spent, her lips slightly parted, breath coming in ragged gasps.

"Please rest, miss," Yu He urged gently, carefully helping her lie back down. With firm reassurance, she added, "You'll recover, and everything will get better from here!"

Yin Rou stared blankly at the ceiling beams. Her once-beautiful, gentle eyes, now dulled by illness, swirled with doubt.

As Yu He tucked the blanket around her, Yin Rou reached out and lightly grasped her hand.

"Are you still unwell, miss?"

Yin Rou pressed her lips together before hesitantly asking, "How long has it been?"

"You were unconscious for three whole days—without any sign of waking," Yu He replied, her voice trembling with lingering fear. Her eyes brimmed with genuine worry.

Back when the master had allowed Yin Rou to choose a personal maid, she had picked Yu He—a lowest-ranking kitchen maid who did the dirtiest chores. Some of the older maids had been secretly stealing the master's medicinal bird's nest delicacies, and when Yu He discovered it, they framed her to avoid punishment.

Had Yin Rou not stepped in to prove her innocence and taken her under her wing, Yu He would have been beaten half to death and disposed of at the rural estate.

From that moment, Yu He had vowed to serve Yin Rou faithfully for life.

"The mistress forbade anyone from calling a physician for you. If not for the Third Young Master’s kindness in allowing a doctor to come, I—" Yu He bit back the ominous words, but the terror in her heart was real. "I was so afraid you wouldn’t pull through."

Her frail hand lightly steadied Yu He’s trembling one. Yin Rou managed a faint, comforting smile. "But I’m here now."

"Yes!" Yu He nodded vigorously.

Yet Yin Rou’s gaze drifted emptily into the distance. She hadn’t died this time—but her fate would be far crueler.

Her pupils shivered slightly, and her pale fingers curled tightly. She wanted to convince herself it had all been a nightmare, but the memories were too vivid—her own decaying body, the suffocating despair, the bone-deep chill of utter desolation.

The mistress had clearly wanted her dead this time. And once the master passed, it wouldn’t be surprising if she were sold off without a second thought.

Yin Rou dug her nails into her palms. Perhaps this illusion had been a divine warning and chance.

But she was a bondservant. She couldn’t even leave the Chen household, let alone control her own fate.

Seeing her pallor and furrowed brow, Yu He fretted, "Miss, you mustn’t overthink while you’re still recovering. It’ll only harm you further."

"I’ll fetch your medicine. Once you’ve taken it, rest well." She carefully settled Yin Rou back onto the bed and reassured her, "Now that the master has woken and the Third Young Master has returned, the mistress surely won’t dare trouble you anymore."

Yin Rou lay back pensively.

She didn’t know how much longer the master had left, only that once he died, so would she. As for the Third Young Master Yu He mentioned…

Though she had never met him, she had heard plenty from the household. Among the Chen descendants, he was the most outstanding—gentle in temperament, kind to subordinates, yet decisive in action. After Master Chen entrusted the family business to him, he not only managed it flawlessly but elevated it beyond its former glory.

Yin Rou thought he might be a kind man, but he couldn’t possibly attend to every trivial matter—especially not someone as insignificant as her. She couldn’t pin her hopes on his fleeting attention or pity.

So what could she do?

A thought flickered in her mind, one she dared not entertain—the man who had appeared at the end of her vision.

Yin Rou bit her lip. There was no relief in the idea, only fear and resistance. Unless absolutely forced, she wanted nothing to do with him.

Yu He soon returned with a bowl of medicine, carefully spooning it to Yin Rou’s lips.

The moment the bitter liquid touched her tongue, Yin Rou grimaced. She had always hated bitterness. Back home, her parents and elder brother had doted on her, always ready with candied fruits to sweeten her medicine.

Now, she had no one.

Swallowing the rising sourness, Yin Rou forced down the medicine sip by sip. She had to find a way to survive.

Only by living could there be hope. Only by living might she one day clear her father’s name.

*

Though Yin Rou had regained consciousness, her injuries were severe, and the delayed treatment left her recovery slow.

Master Chen had sent someone once to inquire after her, merely instructing her to rest well. Yu He had been bewildered—she had expected the master to defend Yin Rou against the mistress’s cruelty, yet he had said nothing.

The household servants, ever opportunistic, grew colder in their treatment. Even the meals they delivered grew plainer by the day.

That morning, all they brought was a bowl of millet porridge and two steamed buns.

Yu He stared at the bare sustenance in outrage. "How can they send this when you’re still ill?"

"I’ll go demand better!"

She turned to leave, but Yin Rou caught her wrist and shook her head. "In this household, everyone follows the powerful. They’ll only see my survival as a stroke of luck."

"Why won’t you speak to the master? Unless the mistress is suppressing the truth to torment you further?"

Yu He couldn’t understand. The master had always doted on Yin Rou—why was he ignoring her now?

The confusion in Yu He’s eyes only deepened Yin Rou’s shame. Securing the master’s favor was no simple matter.

Yu He, two years younger at just thirteen, didn’t grasp the turmoil in Yin Rou’s expression. Just as she was about to press further, a voice called from outside: "Why is no one in the courtyard?"

The voice was a man’s, yet unnaturally high-pitched. Yu He brightened. "It’s Steward Quan!"

Quan Zhong wasn’t originally a Chen servant. Rumor had it he had once tried to become a eunuch in the imperial palace out of poverty but failed the selection. Destitute, he was later bought by the late Master Chen and had since served by Master Chen’s side.

If Steward Quan had come, it must be on the master’s orders. Yu He hurried out eagerly.

Yin Rou sat rigidly at the table, her fingers whitening against the edge. Her lashes lowered, her face devoid of joy.

"What brings Steward Quan here?"

"The master sent me to check on the young lady’s health."

As Quan Zhong stepped over the threshold, Yin Rou’s already-pale face lost even more color. Her fingers went numb from gripping the table, her slender frame tensing defensively.

Quan Zhong clucked his tongue at her gaunt face. "Still unwell, I see."

Yin Rou nearly nodded instinctively, but his faint sigh gave her pause. Her teeth sank into her lip, her eyes flickering with conflict.

Yu He spoke of the master’s favor—but what kind of favor, exactly, was all too clear.

Yin Rou bit down harder, recalling the night of her punishment and what had followed. Fear seeped from her bones, her expression twisting with anguish.

It was laughable. Even in her wretched state, she still clung to the hope of preserving herself. At first, the master had found her resistance novel and hadn’t forced her. But that night, her defiance had enraged him. He had taken an aphrodisiac, intent on taking her by force.

Yin Rou squeezed her eyes shut, her shoulders hunching. Had the master not suddenly collapsed from his illness, she dared not imagine what would have happened.

Yu He had been overjoyed that the master still cared for Yin Rou—until she saw the terror in her mistress’s face. Belatedly, she realized Yin Rou didn’t want this. Yin Rou had once been the cherished daughter of an official’s household. Had her family not fallen, she would still be her family’s treasured pearl.

And though the master was noble, he was elderly—and already had a house full of wives and concubines.

"Very well. I’ll report back to the master."

Quan Zhong shook his head and glanced at Yin Rou, who was shrinking her shoulders in timidity. "Once you're here, you must resign yourself to your fate. If you want a comfortable life, you should take advantage while Master Chen is still interested. All the other concubines visit Master Chen's courtyard daily. In a little while, Master Chen might not even remember her."

"Steward, wait." Yin Rou spoke very softly, as though it took all her strength.

Quan Zhong turned to look at her.

She understood that expression—she no longer deserved such ridiculous notions of chastity and pride.

Yin Rou unclenched her lips, now numb from being bitten.

That dream was about after Master Chen's death—at least she couldn’t risk trouble before then.

As though gambling everything, she spoke word by word: "I'm much better now. I’ll go pay my respects to Master Chen later."

...

After Quan Zhong left, Yin Rou had Yu He help her dress and apply her makeup.

Yu He stood behind Yin Rou, combing her hair. The silky black tresses cascaded over her shoulders, framing her delicate, petite face. The pallor and weariness in her features made Yu He’s heart ache even more. She couldn’t help but say, "Miss, unless you rest and recover a bit more, perhaps wait a few days before going to see Master Chen."

"No." Yin Rou shook her head lightly. "Help me dress."

Yu He hated to see Yin Rou push herself, but she couldn’t think of any other way. Biting her lip, she went to fetch the clothes.

As the sleeping robe was removed, slender shoulders and unhealed lash marks became visible. Yin Rou’s skin was alabaster, making the dark red scars all the more glaring.

Yu He clenched her teeth in anger—Madame had truly tried to flog her to death.

"Miss, should we cover these scars?" Since she was trying to win Master Chen’s favor, displaying the wounds wouldn’t do.

Yin Rou thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Leave them be. No need to cover them."

*

Yin Rou feared this path to Huai'an Hall above all. The road was flanked by dense Golden Bamboo, shutting out the sunlight, making it seem interminable and oppressive.

Passing through the moon gate, they entered a vast central courtyard. Several maids were sweeping, and one stood by the door, ready to serve tea.

When they saw Yin Rou, their expressions grew peculiar as they addressed her stiffly as "Miss."

From inside the room came the honeyed, flirtatious voice of a woman. Through the half-rolled bamboo curtain, Yin Rou saw Ninth Yiniang sitting close to Master Chen, dressed in a diaphanous red gauze dress, her figure willowy and seductive. She held a medicine bowl, molding half her body to Master Chen as she fed him sip by sip. Meanwhile, Master Chen’s large hand absently caressed her chest and waist.

"Master, Miss Yin Rou is here."

As the maid announced her, Chu Yan, snuggled in Master Chen’s embrace, slightly withdrew her smile. She glanced at Yin Rou through the bamboo curtain, her lovely eyes glinting with displeasure.

Master Chen withdrew his hand from Chu Yan and spoke in a low voice, "Invite her in."

Yin Rou saw the hostility in Ninth Yiniang’s beautiful eyes intensify. She had no desire to enter—it was a lion's den—but she had no choice.

Lowering her gaze, Yin Rou stepped over the threshold. The room smelled of medicine and a cloying, decadent musk, making breath difficult. Holding her breath, she curtsied. "Yin Rou greets Master and Ninth Yiniang."

A measuring gaze settled on her. "Are you fully recovered?"

"Thank you for your concern, Master. I’m much better."

Her response was dutiful, but the frailty in her voice was undeniable.

"Look up. Let me see."

At Master Chen’s command, Yin Rou raised her head slightly, revealing a face that had grown thinner. Her fragile form was swathed in a plain, thin robe, inspiring pity.

"Sister Yin Rou should rest properly while ill." Chu Yan’s words seemed solicitous, but her sharp gaze swept over Yin Rou before fixing on her face with malice. "Walking around in the wind will only worsen your condition and worry Master further."

Chu Yan’s words were dripping with sarcasm—coming here weak and sickly was nothing but a ploy to win Master Chen’s pity. No wonder Madame couldn’t stand her. What a brazen hussy.

It was no surprise Chu Yan nursed such animosity. Before Yin Rou arrived, she had been the most favored and the youngest and most beautiful. But once Yin Rou came, Master Chen granted her privileges no one else had, eclipsing Chu Yan entirely. Today, she had finally seized the chance to serve Master Chen, only to have Yin Rou intrude!

Yin Rou ignored Ninth Yiniang’s expression. For her now, the most important thing was self-preservation. She had devised many ploys to make Master Chen pity her on the way here, but those words lodged in her throat, impossible to utter. She could only clamp down on her lip.

Master Chen considered her briefly. "Come sit."

Chu Yan’s face darkened as she looked at Master Chen with grievance. "Master, you haven’t finished your medicine."

"You may leave first." Master Chen waved a hand, his tone impatient.

Chu Yan bit her lip resentfully. As she passed Yin Rou, she flashed her a poisonous look.

Seeing Yin Rou hesitate, Master Chen patted the spot beside him. Yin Rou drew a deep breath and advanced to sit down.

Her hands, resting on her knees, were taken into his. Yin Rou’s lashes fluttered as Master Chen patted her hand lightly, his inflection inscrutable. "Why come while still unwell?"

"I was worried about your health and wanted to see you," Yin Rou whispered.

"Then why not look at me?"

Yin Rou trembled as she lifted her gaze. Master Chen wasn’t ugly—his features still bore traces of his youthful charm. Even when speaking mildly, his presence was imposing.

Yin Rou, just past her maidenhood, seemed like a young, delicate daughter before Master Chen. The older gentleman's heart melted at her trembling eyes. He patted her hand again. "There, there. Did I frighten you?"

Yin Rou shook her head slightly, though her heart pounded wildly. She was relieved she had come—Master Chen surely knew what Madame had done to her. He was teaching her a lesson for her defiance.

When she felt his heavy hand sliding up her sleeve, her breath hitched. She told herself to endure, but the image of Master Chen and Ninth Yiniang moments ago lingered in her mind, impossible to shake. Her arm prickled as if pierced by needles, and the deep-seated revulsion became unbearable.

She jerked her hand away.

Master Chen frowned.

"You—you haven’t finished your medicine. Let me feed you." Yin Rou’s voice wavered, her hands shaking as she picked up the bowl.

She feared Master Chen’s anger, but she truly couldn’t hold on. Thinking quickly, she let her sleeve slip slightly as she stirred the medicine, revealing her scarred arm.

The wounds stood out starkly against her fair skin—some dark red, others freshly scabbed, the new flesh an unnatural pink.

Watching Master Chen’s expression, she said softly, "Otherwise, Madame will blame me again."

Master Chen’s brow furrowed, displeased, but his gaze grew more tender. "So heavily injured?"

He took the bowl from her and pulled her closer, comforting her. "Madame did punish you too harshly. I’ll speak to her. Rest well, and I’ll have Quan Zhong bring you scar-removing ointment later. Such delicate skin shouldn’t bear scars—it’d be a pity."

Yin Rou stiffened against Master Chen’s shoulder but nodded lightly, her brow relaxing imperceptibly. She hadn't let Yu He cover the scars for two reasons: to evoke Master Chen’s pity and make Madame hesitate, and to buy herself more time.

*

Though Wu Shi was Master Chen’s wife, she didn’t reside in Huai'an Hall but in Ruxin Residence, near the family shrine.

Nanny Lu accompanied Wu Shi as she chanted scriptures in the shrine. A maid entered and announced, "Madame, Ninth Yiniang has come to pay her respects."

Kneeling on the prayer mat, Wu Shi asked without opening her eyes, "Didn’t she rush to Master’s side first thing this morning? Why is she here now?"

The maid replied, "Miss Yin Rou went over, so Ninth Yiniang left and came here instead."

Nanny Lu frowned slightly. Earlier, the servants had reported that Yin Rou was still ill and bedridden—how could she suddenly go groveling before the master?

Wu Shi gave a faint snort and said nothing more. Nanny Lu sneered at the maid, "What dirty tricks does she dare play before the mistress? Send her away."

Once the maid left, Nanny Lu's face turned stony. "That Song Yinrou must have gone to the master to complain."

"Do you think the master doesn’t know what we’ve done?" Wu Shi mocked.

"A lord who took pleasure in toying with women in his prime—how could he not know how to manipulate people? He’s just using this chance to make Song Yinrou realize she can only rely on him and submit willingly."

But for such a little girl to capture his attention so thoroughly—she's become a real problem. Should've died back when she had the chance. Now, it’s not so easy to deal with her openly. If she really climbs into the master’s bed and, by some fortune, gets with child...

Wu Shi’s expression darkened as she ordered Nanny Lu, "Go examine her."

*

The moment Yin Rou stepped out of Huai'an Hall, she felt drained to the bone. The master hadn’t touched her—only had her attend to his rest—yet even that had left her feeling as if she’d faced a great battle.

Bracing herself against the Golden Bamboo by the path, Yin Rou took a long moment to gather the strength to continue forward.

When she spotted Nanny Lu approaching from the other end of the path, her eyes turned wary.

Nanny Lu looked her up and down disdainfully. "You're coming with me, girl."

Yin Rou clenched her fingers lightly. "Might I ask why Nanny summons me?"

Nanny Lu was blunt. "The mistress commands—you dare refuse?"

Wu Shi's surface gentleness belied her true cruelty, a lesson Yin Rou had already learned. Yet she had no choice but to comply.

Disobeying the mistress would only earn her more punishment. Fortunately, she had just seen the master—Wu Shi wouldn't dare move against her now.

Yin Rou forced herself to stay calm as she followed Nanny Lu.

She wasn’t taken to see Wu Shi but instead led to a side room in the west. When Nanny Lu closed the door, shutting out most of the light, Yin Rou immediately panicked. "Why have you brought me here?"

"The master is still unwell, yet here you are throwing yourself at him. Did you succeed?"

The crude words burned Yinrou's cheeks with shame, her eyes glistening as she forced out, "...No."

Nanny Lu smirked and pointed to a bed in the corner. "On the bed."

Yin Rou didn’t move. "What are you going to do?"

"We'll see if you're still pure. If the master has taken you, you’ll take your medicine like a good girl—don’t even think of hiding it."

Overwhelming shame and humiliation surged through Yin Rou. She trembled so hard she nearly fell. "Just give me the medicine directly."

Her chaste resistance only irritated Nanny Lu, who deliberately sought to humiliate her. "If you won’t do it yourself, I’ll call someone to hold you down."

Biting her lip, Yin Rou moved to the bed under Nanny Lu’s urging and lay down.

"Bend your legs. Lift your skirt."

Lying on the cold, hard bed, Yin Rou’s back ached from the unyielding surface. She took a deep breath and slowly pulled her skirt up, baring her pale legs to the cold, making her shiver.