Chapter 95 Hoping Mr. Zhao Jinzong Will Forgive Me

Chapter 95: I Hope Mr. Zhao Jinzong Will Forgive Me

Zhao Jinzong tore open the envelope, his hands shaking. The content was simple, the tone distant and respectful. It read like a letter to a respected superior, a friend who felt guilty... nothing like a letter between two people who had ever been in love.

To Mr. Zhao Jinzong:

By the time you see this letter, I will likely already be gone.

I have a secret that I never dared to tell you.

I am actually an omega, an A-grade tulip omega. Ten years ago, I hadn’t differentiated yet.

The Four Bureaus do not accept omegas, but the child I found was sick, and I couldn’t trust the Drug Supervision Bureau to take care of him. I never meant to deceive you, and for this, I am deeply sorry.

I only hope that Mr. Zhao won’t hold too much against a dead man. He’s already gotten what he deserved. If you are truly angry, I’ve left you some money as compensation to make amends.

It’s not much—just everything I’ve saved up. I hope you’ll understand.

Wishing you all the best, good health, peace, and a happy family.

—Chen Su, March 7th

Inside the envelope, besides the short letter, was a bank card with the PIN written on it: six zeros.

Zhao Jinzong left the bedroom with a cold expression. Xiao Li saw him come out and followed, hoping Zhao Jinzong would take it out on him, but instead Zhao Jinzong strode rapidly into the study and started rifling through drawers and cabinets.

Just as Xiao Li reached the door, Zhao Jinzong said coldly, “Get out.”

“...” Xiao Li froze in place, struggling to suppress his fear: “Please, General Director Zhao, don’t destroy my brother’s things. My brother is the most important person in the world to me. If you need to take out your anger, take it out on me, but please don’t damage his belongings.”

Zhao Jinzong frowned. “I won’t.”

Xiao Li only left after receiving that promise.

Zhao Jinzong searched Chen Su’s study. He saw a drawer packed with candy, and two well-preserved invitation cards. Other than that, there was nothing else.

This was the only farewell letter Chen Su had left for him.

Distant, with no emotion whatsoever.

…

When a person is on the verge of death, their life flashes before their eyes like a carousel, replaying memories over and over.

When Chen Su was dying, all he thought about was Zhao Jinzong.

During their university days, Chen Su first saw Zhao Jinzong in a lecture hall. Zhao Jinzong had returned to give a speech at the school. On the podium, the distinguished Enigma championed omega rights. This was the first time Chen Su realized that someone could respect omegas so much.

As the crowd dispersed, Chen Su, suffering from low blood sugar, stumbled. It was Zhao Jinzong who reached out to steady him and handed him a piece of candy.

Chen Su never ate that candy. He kept it in his dorm room.

The next day, when Chen Su went to the cafeteria, he encountered Zhao Jinzong again. There was someone with Zhao Jinzong, and he walked behind Zhao Jinzong, keeping a distance of three or four meters.

He overheard someone asking Zhao Jinzong what kind of omega he liked.

Zhao Jinzong said, “I don’t like omegas.”

Chen Su froze. He looked up at Zhao Jinzong’s retreating back.

Chen Su’s eyes held an entire Siberian winter.

Chen Su didn’t follow Zhao Jinzong. He stood there for a while, and didn’t even go to the cafeteria.

Zhao Jinzong championed omega rights, but that didn’t mean that was his sexual orientation.

Chen Su respected and understood that.

Later, Chen Su heard a secret: When Zhao Jinzong was young, shortly after his mother died, his father brought home an illegitimate child and a pregnant omega.

No wonder… no wonder Zhao Jinzong hated omegas.

When the Federal General Administration invited Chen Su to an arranged marriage, Chen Su was happy, but he absolutely couldn’t agree. He was an omega, not an S3-level alpha. He was the omega that Zhao Jinzong hated the most.

How could Zhao Jinzong hate omegas? Why did Chen Su have to be an omega…

Chen Su refused and instead entered a marriage alliance with Sheng Beiqing. As Zhao Jinzong pursued him, Chen Su kept pulling away. He was truly terrified that his disguise would be discovered.

What Zhao Jinzong hated most were lies and omegas, and Chen Su was guilty of both.

Chen Su simply didn’t dare let Zhao Jinzong mark him. He feared being deeply loathed by Zhao Jinzong…

But Zhao Jinzong was too good. How could he be so good?

So good that Chen Su couldn’t control himself at all.

At the Huai City River, Zhao Jinzong didn’t even know what Chen Su had lost, yet he dove into the river to retrieve it for him. That was where Chen Su’s father had died. Chen Su couldn’t bear the thought of another person important to him having an accident there. In that moment, it was as if he found an excuse, and he let himself be selfish and greedy for once. He agreed to be with Zhao Jinzong.

Chen Su knew that his actions would make Zhao Jinzong hate omegas even more in the future.

Chen Su was sick, crazy. He wanted to be greedy just this once. As long as he hid it well, Zhao Jinzong wouldn’t find out… right?

In the end, Zhao Jinzong never found out. Their relationship didn’t last long. Chen Su successfully kept it hidden.

But Chen Su still confessed to Zhao Jinzong.

Chen Su didn’t want to lie. He didn’t want to at all.

In truth, Chen Su had written many, many farewell letters. He even wrote them like a diary. In the end, the only one left was the one in Zhao Jinzong’s hands.

In the other letters, besides revealing that he was an omega, Chen Su also wrote about his background. Later, he felt that it seemed like he was trying to force Zhao Jinzong’s forgiveness, which was too melodramatic, like playing the victim. Even he found it disgusting.

There were also full pages of apologies, begging for forgiveness.

—Forgive me, please. I won’t appear again.

Too pitiful. Chen Su didn’t like that.

Then there were two sentences that he always put at the very end, but they never appeared in the final letter.

—If there is a next life, I want to be an alpha.

—I want to be Zhao Jinzong’s alpha.

Disgusting. Chen Su felt disgusted with himself.

A person full of lies, an omega who deceived Zhao Jinzong—how dare he even hope for a next life?

Chen Su didn’t deserve to ask for any of that.

So Chen Su crossed out those words and tore the letters to shreds.

On the yacht, Chen Su went so far as to scrape the tattoo clean off the back of his hand.

Better not to let Zhao Jinzong see such disgusting words.

Chen Su didn't know the power or range of the bomb explosion. He was terrified—terrified that if any piece of his corpse remained, the delusional tattoo on the back of his hand might be seen.

He was afraid that Xiao Li would be sad to see his mutilated corpse.

Without the tattoo, no one would know who the severed arm belonged to.

That would be better, best of all...

If there is a next life, Chen Su will never lie to Zhao Jinzong again, and he will never come near him.

Lying is exhausting, cheating is exhausting, and even lashing out to break up is exhausting... Zhao Jinzong had coaxed him for so long; he was the most exhausted of all.

Zhao Jinzong, in the future, go find an alpha and live happily ever after.