Chapter 1 “No Need to Worry”

Chapter 1 "No Need to Dwell On It"

My name is Feng Jiuyue, and my courtesy name is Muqiu.

My father gave me this name simply because when my mother gave birth to me, it was autumn, and the maple leaves on the branches had just begun to turn red. My father was exceptionally handsome, and my mother was the most celebrated beauty in Jiang State at the time. They grew up together as childhood sweethearts, developing feelings for each other in their youth. She married my father as soon as she came of age, and their love for one another was beyond words.

But fate is whimsical.

When I came into the world crying, my mother used her last ounce of strength to tell my father to take good care of me, and then she passed away, her beauty gone from this world.

I can somewhat understand why my mother was so worried about me. After all, I was born with an unusual body, one that made it hard to tell whether I was male or female, and I looked just like her. It was only natural for her to fear that others might bully me.

Because of my mother’s dying wish, my father almost wanted to pluck the sun, moon, and stars from the sky to give to me.

As the prime minister of the court, he should have ensured his lineage continued. But he often thought of my mother and never remarried or took a concubine. Her departure took away all his tenderness, and though he buried his pain deep in his heart, he showed me immense fatherly love, spoiling me, his son, to such an extent that others couldn’t bear to watch.

Perhaps because I inherited my mother’s looks, I was often mistaken for a girl since childhood. Even now that I’ve grown up, there are still some ignorant people who think I’m a young lady, whistling at me flirtatiously and teasingly. Naturally, I don’t let them off. After ordering my guards to tie them up and beat them several times, no one dared to disrespect me to my face again.

Since they didn’t dare say it to my face, they called me a little lady or a little fop behind my back. It made me angry, but I couldn’t catch them in the act. So whenever I caught someone’s eyes drifting toward me, I’d make sure to give them a hard time until I was satisfied. As a result, the people in the capital all said I had a strange temper, that I was nothing but a pretty face with no substance, a good-looking fool. If it weren’t for my father, I’d have ended up as a top courtesan in a brothel.

Bah! I couldn’t care less what they said!

Back to my father. Since he was a prime minister with immense power, one would expect me to be shrewd and calculating, exceptionally talented, and highly educated.

But I wasn’t.

Since childhood, I’ve enjoyed playing with cats and dogs, playing pranks on my tutors, and roaming the streets all day, causing all sorts of trouble. My father usually didn’t say anything. Sometimes, when I went too far and the common people came complaining to the prime minister’s residence, he would just look at my face, so similar to my mother’s, with gentle eyes and sigh softly.

My father spoiled me rotten. I always thought that as long as he was around, I could live carefree forever. My father was my support, someone who would never fall. I truly believed that, but looking back now, I have to admit that such thinking was uniquely naive to me.

Later, I met Xie Yan, and from that moment on, my life turned upside down. He was like a sharp, decisive dividing line in my short existence.

Before meeting him, my life was carefree, like a cloud floating in the sky—free and unrestrained. My mind was empty, and all I did all day was eat, drink, and have fun, truly living up to the reputation of a fool. After he appeared, my life gained many pains and delusions brought by love, something I had never experienced before.

I liked Xie Yan like a moth drawn to a brilliant candle flame, seeking only a moment of warmth, even if it meant becoming the laughingstock of the world. I also hated him, hated his cruelty, his cold-heartedness, and how he discarded my sincere feelings as if they were worthless.

Later, when I was raised to a high rank, I thought again: if I could choose, I would rather Xie Yan had not saved me that day on the high tower. I would rather have fallen from that height and been shattered to pieces than become a plaything of love and drag my father into it.

I vaguely remember my first meeting with Xie Yan on a bright, warm spring day. Jiang State was prosperous, the emperor was wise, and the people lived in peace and contentment. To celebrate, various banquets were held to share joy with the people.

I didn’t really like attending these banquets, but my father hoped I could make more friends so I wouldn’t be so lonely in my daily life. His reasoning made some sense. Because my temper often flared up at the slightest provocation, I could almost say I had no friends, but quite a few enemies.

For example, the tall man standing in front of me now, smiling provocatively, was my lifelong rival, Yuan Ye. Although this guy looked presentable on the outside, his heart was even pettier than mine. He always opposed me in everything, and every time he saw me, his eyes looked as if he wanted to devour me.

Remembering my father’s advice, I decided not to bother with this person and was about to move aside when Yuan Ye suddenly raised his voice, “Little lady! Where are you going? Off to tattle to your daddy again?”

This bastard!

I hated it most when people said things like that about me. I was clearly a man, just a bit slender and pale, yet these people had to make up stories about me!

I couldn’t swallow this insult and retorted fiercely, “Yuan Ye, you son of a bitch!”

“Oh, are you really angry?” Yuan Ye swayed his folding fan gracefully as he approached me, smiling flirtatiously. “Don’t be mad, Brother Ye was just joking with you.”

Brother Ye?

That term made my stomach churn. I didn’t know what had gotten into Yuan Ye in recent years, but he’d suddenly become so disgusting, always treating me like a woman to tease.

I still remember when we were children; he used to look out for me, calling me his brother and saying I’d be his good brother for life, that he’d only ever be good to me. But in recent years, it was as if some demon had possessed him. One day, he suddenly started treating me with nothing but malice.

Naturally, I wasn’t going to let him have the last word. I rolled up my sleeves and threw a punch at his smug face.

For a moment, he looked stunned, as if he hadn’t expected me to start a fight with him at the Spring Banquet, especially since it was hosted by the emperor, with the common people watching from below the tower.

But I did it anyway. The two of us were high up on the tower, colorful flags fluttering in the spring breeze, both of us with unpleasant expressions on our faces.

I raised my hand again and slapped him hard, my nails leaving bloody marks on his face. He took it without fighting back. It was strange—though he always spoke lightly of me, he never dared to actually lay a hand on me, as if he really thought I was some weak little lady!

Thinking of this made me even angrier. I was about to throw another punch when Yuan Ye grabbed my hand and scolded in a low voice, “This is the Spring Banquet! What are you causing a scene for?!”

“Causing a scene?” I sneered at him angrily. “You started it! If we’re going to make a scene, let’s make it a big one!”

“You son of a bitch!” I leaned in and whispered this into his ear, and the two of us began brawling on the high tower.

The attendants around us were thrown into chaos. They knew our identities—one the son of the current prime minister, the other the son of the General of the Northern Garrison. Offending either would be hard to handle. So the scene turned into complete pandemonium. Some said they should fetch the prime minister, others said to find the general, but no one actually stepped in to break up the fight.

As for me, when I fight, I tend to go a little crazy. Even with my hands restrained by Yuan Ye, I could still fiercely headbutt him. His eyes widened like cowbells; he was clearly truly angered by me. He didn’t hold back his strength and ended up pushing me off the tower!

When I realized the danger, I flailed my arms in the air, hoping to grab onto something, but found nothing. Only then did I start to panic. Where was my father? Why hadn’t he come to save me? Was I going to die today because of Yuan Ye, that son of a bitch?

No.

Heavens, you can’t do this to me.

Perhaps it wasn’t my time to die. The heavens heard my plea, and I unexpectedly fell into a cold, fragrant embrace. When I looked up, I met a pair of gray eyes.

The person before me was exceptionally striking—slightly upturned phoenix eyes, a straight and sharp nose, thin and well-shaped lips. His features were handsome yet carried an air of aloofness and cold elegance.

I had never seen such a good-looking man, but the aura around him was too cold. Even though it was a bright spring day, he felt like the icy snow of winter.

He held me, his strong arm encircling my waist. For some reason, my cheeks began to burn. Strangely, I wasn’t a woman, so there was no reason to be shy, yet I didn’t dare look directly at his distant, elegant features.

To this day, I still remember that Xie Yan was wearing frost-white robes that day, his face as cold and proud as a noble white crane, as unapproachable as a flower on a high peak. In that moment, I became nothing more than a vulgar mortal, captivated by his grace.

In the stories, when a hero saves someone, the next part is often about pledging oneself in marriage. Since Xie Yan saved me, should I marry him? Even though I’m not a woman, I’ve heard those scoundrels say I’m even prettier than a woman. I wonder if Xie Yan would be willing?

“Young master! Are you all right?” My attendant, Xiao Man, rushed over, interrupting my wild thoughts. Xie Yan’s arm around my waist immediately let go, as if I were some poisonous creature not to be touched.

I looked up, putting on what I thought was a dignified smile, but was met only with the back of his head. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

My father arrived quickly. Known for his elegance, he was now breathing heavily from running, his whole body trembling as he checked me over from head to toe. Only then did he relax slightly and sigh, “You nearly scared me to death.”

“Oh, Father, it’s fine, isn’t it?” I spun around to show him I was unharmed. I was always good at using coquettish and mischievous tricks in front of my father, so I quickly calmed him down.

The Spring Banquet officially began. The emperor, having heard from somewhere that I had fallen from the tower and been saved by the crown prince, scolded me for causing trouble. Dressed in majestic dragon robes, though nearing forty, he showed no signs of age on his face. However, I couldn’t see any resemblance between him and Xie Yan in terms of appearance.

The emperor’s features were more sharp and imposing, with the natural authority of a sovereign—thick eyebrows, a high nose, and eyes that always seemed fierce. Xie Yan, on the other hand, had deep-set features, thin lips, skin like frost and snow, and gray eyes that set him apart from the common masses. In my eyes, he was incredibly handsome, and even his unsmiling expression was as sacred and solemn as a deity’s statue.

I stole glances at Xie Yan. He sat upright, his gray eyes unmoving, as if he hadn’t been the one to save me but merely an indifferent bystander.

“Xiao Qiu, hurry up and thank His Highness the Crown Prince for saving your life!” My father, seeing me dazed, patted the back of my hand and shoved a cup of wine into my grasp.

“Oh, right.” I stood up and slowly walked toward Xie Yan.

The distance between us wasn’t far—just a few steps—but those short steps made my breath grow hot and my heartbeat wild. I couldn’t hear the sounds around me, only staring blankly at that person. His gray eyes were like a still sea, making one want to drown in them.

Finally, I reached him. I let out a sigh of relief, even my words coming out stuttered, “Th-thank you, Your Highness, for saving my life.”

I downed the wine in one gulp, then let my gaze fall on Xie Yan’s hands. I didn’t dare stare at his icy face, but I suddenly noticed that Xie Yan’s hands were also quite beautiful—like elegant bamboo joints, slender and well-defined.

Xie Yan didn’t pick up his wine glass. He seemed too lazy to engage with me and simply said, “It was nothing. No need to dwell on it.”

No need to dwell on it! No need to dwell on it!

Wasn’t that exactly what a hero would say to a girl he wasn’t interested in who insisted on pledging herself to him?

My face burned hot, and before I could even form a proper response, I stumbled back to my seat in a daze. It was the first time in my smooth-sailing life that I had ever felt defeated.