Chapter 13 “I Think He Wants to Kill You”

Chapter 13: "I Think He Wants to Kill You"

Xie Yan never went easy on me. My face was pinched raw, and even my lips were chafed hard by his cool fingertips, as if he were scrubbing away something filthy.

I’d always been insecure about my appearance. I wasn’t a girl, yet every time I went out, I was mistaken for a young lady and often taunted for "looking prettier than a woman." People saying I was good-looking never made me happy; in fact, I didn’t even think I was. It only left me with a profound sense of helplessness.

In my opinion, true good looks belonged to someone like Xie Yan—handsome and dignified, with sharp, defined features—not like mine, which resembled a woman’s. So when Xie Yan said that, I didn’t know how to respond and even felt an urge to cry.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Xie Yan pressed me to speak, forcing his fingers into my mouth and roughly handling my tongue. I felt extremely uncomfortable, my eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall.

Seeing my distress, Xie Yan suddenly leaned in to examine the small mole under my right eye. His expression was focused, as if probing some hidden secret, a mix of clinical curiosity and condescension.

"X-Xie Yan..." I endured it for a long time but couldn’t take such torment any longer. His long fingers prodded and twisted in my mouth, his gaze cold and sharp, making me somewhat afraid. I could only resist by weakly swatting at his hand.

He stared at me intently for a while before finally, mercifully, pulling out his fingers. He then produced a handkerchief and leisurely wiped away the saliva.

I gasped for air like a drowning man, even starting to cough from the earlier lack of oxygen. I clutched Xie Yan’s clothes tightly, pleading for help.

But he still seemed angry, only giving me a dismissive glance, clearly unwilling to engage, waiting for me to calm down on my own. Yet my coughing didn’t stop and only grew worse.

After a moment, he finally looked impatient and pulled me against him, patting my back to help me regulate my breathing.

This condition of mine was congenital—a mild asthma. In spring, I couldn’t be near willow catkins or cotton, and I certainly couldn’t endure Xie Yan’s kind of torment.

By the time my breathing gradually steadied, my eyes were already filled with tears. Xie Yan had an arm around my waist and, with his other hand, poured a cup of tea, bringing it to my lips.

My throat was terribly dry and hoarse from coughing, but I didn’t dare drink too much. I only sipped gingerly from the cup he held, finally licking my parched lips. When I looked up, I saw Xie Yan’s deep gaze fixed on my mouth.

Recalling what Xie Yan said and did, I suddenly felt a wave of injustice.

Yuan Ye and I weren’t always at odds. When we were children, we played together every day. He came to my house daily, saying he wouldn’t marry and would take care of me, his younger brother, for life.

But then one day, he suddenly changed.

I didn’t know why, and I’d also felt sad about his betrayal.

"Why are you crying?" Xie Yan lifted my chin, saw my tear-streaked face, and asked, visibly annoyed.

I didn’t want to cry, but I just felt wronged. Xie Yan thought I was ordinary-looking, and I really was no match for his handsome appearance, but I’d tried so hard to be good to him, so damn hard.

I’d never put so much effort into anything in my life.

Thinking of this, my tears wouldn’t stop. Xie Yan could only use his sleeve to wipe them away, warning me, "Shut up, no crying."

I tried hard to hold back my tears, but under such extreme suppression, I even let out a hiccupping sob.

When I realized it, I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, staring wide-eyed at Xie Yan. So embarrassing—I hoped Xie Yan was deaf and hadn’t heard such a humiliating sound.

But heaven had other plans. He lazily propped his chin on his hand, a strange glint in his gray eyes, and even the corner of his lips curled slightly.

He’d clearly heard.

I wanted to get off the carriage. I didn’t want to see Xie Yan anymore. I’d never been so embarrassed in my life. I struggled to get out of his arms, but he effortlessly held me pinned with one arm while using the other to toy with my ear.

I didn’t want to speak anymore. The air was left with nothing but awkward silence. Xie Yan toyed with my ear intermittently, then suddenly asked, "Has he always treated you like this?"

I belatedly realized "he" referred to Yuan Ye. Thinking of the past made me a little down, but I didn’t want to lie to Xie Yan. "He was very good to me when we were young, saying I was his brother. When others bullied me, he would protect me and even said he wouldn’t marry, wanting to be with me forever."

"And then?" Xie Yan’s voice grew colder, and he suddenly yanked my earlobe harder, pulling until it hurt.

I cautiously leaned closer to him, trying to ease the pain, and continued, "Then one day, he suddenly started insulting me, finding ways to bully me. He began playing with those who bullied me and joined them in tormenting me."

My spirits sank as I spoke, but Xie Yan asked, "What happened the day before that sudden day?"

It was actually a small matter, but I’d never told anyone, keeping it buried for years. Now that someone asked, I felt I had to get it out. "The day before, he snuck some wine and got drunk, then came to my house looking for me. I planned to help him to a room to rest, but he... he..."

"But what?" Xie Yan suddenly turned my face toward him, his deep eyes coldly staring at me, laying bare my unease.

"I don’t know what came over him. He suddenly kissed me on the cheek. I thought he was drunk and mistook me for someone else, so I didn’t make a big deal of it. But then he seemed to sober up immediately and pushed me away harshly."

"And the next day, he started bullying me."

When I finished speaking, a terrifying silence fell.

Xie Yan didn’t say another word. Even the air felt stifling and suffocating. I felt inexplicably scared, but before I could react, Xie Yan bit my cheek, leaving deep tooth marks. He was like a dog seeing raw meat, mauling my face until it was a mess.

"Xie Yan! Xie Yan!" I quickly tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t let go. I was afraid he would bite off a piece of my cheek, so frantic I nearly cried again, begging, "It hurts, stop biting, stop!"

Xie Yan was like a vicious dog, wantonly venting his inexplicable anger on my face. Even with both hands healthy, I was no match for his strength, and now with one injured, I was like a fish on a cutting board, utterly at his mercy. I could only endure the pain, sucking in sharp breaths.

Xie Yan bit both sides of my face until they were swollen before finally releasing me. My cheeks felt numb with pain, even a slight touch causing a piercing ache. Xie Yan must have been born in the year of the dog. Without looking in a bronze mirror, I knew I wouldn’t be able to show my face for days.

After doing such a terrible thing, Xie Yan showed no remorse. He finally let me go, his gaze deep as he looked at me, then suddenly said, "What else did Yuan Ye do?"

It sounded somewhat like he was baiting me.

I didn’t dare say more, shaking my head desperately. "Nothing. After that, he seemed to want me dead whenever he saw me. What else could he do?"

"I suspect he wants to kill you in bed."

Xie Yan’s words were spoken lightly, as if discussing the weather, but his eyes fell on the tear mole at the corner of my eye. When I met his gray gaze, I glimpsed an indescribable emotion in them—a suppressed, turbulent desire and an unknown anger.

I thought Xie Yan must really dislike Yuan Ye, so I obediently kept quiet, not pondering the meaning behind Xie Yan’s words.

After biting me, Xie Yan stood aside and read a book. The carriage soon arrived at the palace gates. A servant’s voice sounded from outside, "Your Highness, we’ve arrived at the palace gates."

"Mm." Xie Yan acknowledged and stepped down. I hastily used my sleeve to cover my entire face and followed.

The palace gates were wide open, with officials arriving for court one after another. Xie Yan glanced back at me, then turned to the servant and said, "Take Feng Jiuyue back to his residence."

I finally relaxed, grateful Xie Yan didn’t make me walk back from here. I was still injured; walking back would have exhausted me.

"Your... Your Highness, this commoner takes his leave." In front of others, I still showed Xie Yan some respect.

"Mm." Xie Yan acknowledged without looking back and walked ahead. I was about to board the carriage when something unexpected happened.

"Feng Jiuyue!" Yuan Ye’s voice was neither loud nor soft, just enough to reach my ears.

My body stiffened slightly. I looked around and saw a hooded man a few meters away, his vicious fox eyes fixed intently on me.

I felt inexplicably guilty, silently praying Xie Yan hadn’t heard Yuan Ye’s voice, only to find Xie Yan had already turned around. His expression was unreadable, but I could see rising murderous intent in his eyes.