Chapter 36 “You’ll Catch a Cold Without Clothes”

Chapter 36: "You'll Catch a Cold Without Clothes"

I once believed that between Xie Yan and me, he was the sole madman. Now, it seems I’m hardly any saner. If I had truly moved past the past, why would I still harbor such deep resentment for Xie Yan’s former actions?

Perhaps it was because I loved him too deeply. After letting go, recalling those bygone days only intensified the feeling of a thorn in my back, a lump in my throat. I even lost control, committing such absurd and shameless acts.

I still remember how Yuan Ye and his gang used to humiliate me, always calling me "little slut" or "whore." Back then, I wished I could tear their tongues out.

But what did I do in front of Xie Yan today?

I brazenly stripped off all my clothes and boldly wrapped my arms around his slender neck. How was this any different from the courtesans in male brothels offering themselves? Perhaps even those courtesans were more reserved and modest than I.

Heh, Feng Jiuyue, even after being reborn, you haven’t improved one bit. No wonder those people looked down on you before, calling you a useless pretty face.

My heart was heavy with unresolved emotions, and my chest ached fiercely. How did Xie Yan see me now? Was he secretly laughing at my wantonness, or mocking me for bringing this shame upon myself? I had no way of knowing.

Though I had spent a long time with Xie Yan and even shared the most intimate moments, I hardly understood him at all. In the past, he was like a wisp of ethereal mist in my heart—I could only see the celestial aura surrounding him and make out a vague silhouette, but I could never grasp the truth or glimpse his true feelings.

Why was he silent now? Was he secretly mocking me?

Fueled by discontent, I looked at him and realized he hadn’t been looking at me at all. Instead, he was tilting his head toward the peach blossom tree outside the window, appearing serene and devoid of desire, his demeanor more composed than Liu Xiahui, who remained unmoved even with a woman in his lap.

But upon closer inspection, I noticed his long, thick eyelashes fluttering faintly, like the wings of a butterfly. His pale, cool complexion remained expressionless, his thin lips slightly pursed, but the tips of his ears were tinged with a faint blush. The noticeable redness spread all the way to his neck, like cold jade dusted with pink, or a drop of pastel color falling into clear water, rippling outward in layers.

He didn’t dare look at me, nor did he dare touch me. The veins in his hands, hanging at his sides, stood out, as if he were struggling to suppress his emotions. So Xie Yan wasn’t unmoved—he was restraining himself, using rationality to forcefully suppress the desires I aroused in him.

So, did my body truly hold such great allure for Xie Yan? But then again, it made sense. In the past, he pretended to be a gentleman, pure and desireless, yet on our wedding night, he tormented me relentlessly, forcing me to say embarrassing words to coax him before he would let me rest.

Now, my body was pressed tightly against his, my breath lightly brushing his neck, my slender arms wrapped around him like vines, as if I wouldn’t let him go unless he spoke to me.

"Xiao Qiu." Xie Yan hesitated for a long time before finally speaking to me. As expected, he still hadn’t looked at me, still treating me as Xiao Qiu. His voice was hoarse, as if suppressing unspoken desires. His hands, hanging at his sides, clenched and unclenched before he finally mustered the courage to gently place a hand on my head, stroking the stray hairs on my forehead. His words were soft and slow, his expression unconsciously tinged with affection. "Be good."

Yes, this was Xie Yan’s usual tactic.

Whenever he upset me in the past, he would always pat my head and tell me to be good. But I was always good. Because of that hopeless affection, I was almost utterly obedient to him, doing everything to please him. Yet, in the end, all I received was a heart-wrenching betrayal. What did I do wrong?

"You'll catch a cold like this," he said, his breathing slightly heavy as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer as if to share his warmth with me.

Now, our positions were like this: I stood on tiptoe, my arms wrapped around Xie Yan’s neck, while his cool hands loosely circled my waist. At such an intimate distance, every change was unmistakable.

No wonder he hadn’t wanted to touch me earlier, even avoiding any physical contact. It turned out he had already experienced an indecent reaction. He hadn’t even glanced at me, yet he could still be so... so shameless!

Furious, I began to press forward step by step. Behind Xie Yan was a soft, carpeted chaise lounge. As I advanced relentlessly, he had no choice but to retreat until he was sitting on the chaise. His eyes remained fixed on my face, not daring to overstep.

I knelt on the chaise with one knee, boldly settling into his cool embrace. He still didn’t dare look directly at me.

Even in such a state, he still pretended to be virtuous!

I slowly raised myself, impudently tilting his chiseled jaw with one hand, forcing him to look into my eyes and at my body. A mocking smile played on my lips as I spoke slowly, "Your Highness, if you don’t look at me, how can you tell the difference between me and Xiao Qiu?"

I paused, then smiled sweetly at him, the hatred in my eyes almost impossible to conceal. "Don’t you like Xiao Qiu? If he knew you couldn’t even tell us apart, wouldn’t he be heartbroken even in death?"

"Oh, wait." I shook my head, remembering another possibility. "Perhaps Your Highness just wants to use Yun Qing as a substitute for Xiao Qiu, is that it?" As I spoke these words, I carefully observed Xie Yan’s expression.

Originally, his handsome face had held a faint smile. After my slight provocation, his ears and neck had turned completely red, his clear gray eyes hiding a bashful innocence. It made sense—he and I had once shared a spring night, lamenting how short the sweet hours were. My current behavior was inevitably hard for him to resist.

But as soon as I finished speaking, the color drained from his face, turning him into a pale, exquisite puppet in an instant. Even the hand around my back curled slightly, trembling.

We were both in a corner where no sunlight reached, and no candles were lit in the room. His light gray eyes took on a deathly pallor, and the corners of his straight lips drooped slightly, as if he were on the verge of tears.

But this was far from enough. He wasn’t suffering enough, and I was far from satisfied.

I took his cold, pale hand and gently placed it on my chest, lazily leaning into his embrace, just like countless nights we had spent together.

"Your Highness, can you feel my heartbeat? I am alive. I have a heartbeat. I can cry, laugh, and make noise."

"Your Xiao Qiu is dead. He has no heartbeat. He can’t laugh, cry, or make noise. Now, he’s nothing but a pile of bones."

"How long will you keep deceiving yourself?"

Words can sometimes be sharp weapons, piercing the heart until it is riddled with holes, just like when I heard about Xie Yan’s actions toward my father. Every word, every sentence, tore my heart apart.

As soon as I finished speaking, Xie Yan visibly grew angry. His breathing became heavy and rapid, and the way he looked at me was like a wolf or a tiger, filled with raging killing intent, as if he might pounce on me and tear me to pieces at any moment.

His face was cold as frost, his gray eyes hiding deep and heavy pain, like a cornered beast letting out its final cry. Only then did I understand that his recent gentleness and warmth were nothing but a carefully constructed facade. His current actions were like a perfect shell shattering, revealing the brutal, violent nature within.

He shoved me down violently to the ground.

I hadn’t expected him to be so sudden and brutal. Caught off guard, I fell to the floor. In the position I landed, I had no time to cover myself, and everything was exposed. When I realized it, I could only desperately curl up into a ball.

I knew Xie Yan’s dream had shattered the moment he pushed me away. I felt a sense of vindication and even boldly looked up to meet his gaze, eager to see the vivid expression on his face.

Xie Yan stood before me, straight and tall, his posture as unyielding as a pine tree on a high mountain. From the moment I fell, he had been staring at me intently, his eyes completely devoid of their earlier gentleness and purity.

He looked down at me condescendingly, his icy gaze like a serpent’s inspection or an eagle’s scrutiny, devoid of any warmth, as if in his eyes, I were nothing but a lifeless lump of flesh.

He hadn’t been like this earlier. He had made awkward and strange demands of me, had shyly retreated from my advances, and had even tried every abrupt method to get close to me.

But now, he seemed to have suddenly awakened from a broken dream, his expression almost cruelly detached.

Almost as soon as I fell, he had been silently studying me, taking in every inch of my body.

It was almost laughable. When he thought I was Feng Jiuyue, I had taken off my clothes, and he hadn’t seen anything, yet just the thought had made his ears turn red and stirred inappropriate reactions.

But now, standing before me, he examined every part of my body without any emotion, his breathing not even slightly irregular, calmly watching as if it were some stranger’s joke.

He was right in front of me, yet he felt as distant as the horizon. A faded memory separated us. Now, it was as if we were from two different worlds.

I knew Xie Yan had awakened. The man who had silently wept under the moonlight would never appear again. In those shared painful memories, only I remained. I didn’t feel sad at all. No, I only felt regret—regret that I couldn’t continue to toy with him. What a pity.

My thoughts were like a tangled ball of yarn, no matter how I tried to unravel it, it remained a messy knot.

And Xie Yan stood before me, watching me lost in thought. In the dim light, his shadow engulfed me completely.

He took a step forward, slowly approaching me. I was naked, so I could only curl up and retreat. I thought he was going to do something to me, but he didn’t. Instead, he turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Heh, now that he knew I wasn’t Feng Jiuyue, he left me here naked and exposed. I thought maliciously and gloomily, reaching for the clothes I had taken off.

Just then, the door creaked open. My heart almost stopped, and I turned around in panic to see Xie Yan standing in the doorway holding a black cloak.

He closed the door expressionlessly, without a word, and wrapped me tightly in the cloak. Then, holding me loosely through the cloak, he carried me to the bed. The sight of the bed made my heart seize with dread.

What was Xie Yan going to do? Didn’t he know I wasn’t Feng Jiuyue? Then why was he carrying me to the bed? What was he going to do to me?

As these thoughts raced through my mind, my body began to tremble uncontrollably.

Xie Yan silently placed me on the bed and laid the clothes I had taken off beside me.

His face was expressionless, his tone indifferent, carrying a strange yet familiar politeness and distance. He said to me, "I’m sorry. I mistook you for someone else."

After all this, we had returned to square one.

Author's Note:

By the way, I forgot to mention that the latter part of the previous chapter has been revised. Everyone, remember to check the previous chapter first.