Chapter 8 “Just Want a Little Bit of Love”

Chapter 8: "Just a Little Affection, That's All I Ask"

Xie Yan must have come to my house directly after the morning court session. His figure was tall and slender, and even in the uniform court attire of officials, he appeared as refined as jade, with an extraordinary aura. Simply standing there, solitary and upright, he showed no trace of idleness; his back was straight and dignified, like a pine tree on a high mountain.

When Little White saw him, it excitedly tried to rub against his trousers, its fluffy tail wagging wildly. But Xie Yan stiffened slightly, hesitated for a moment, then, as if utterly repulsed, dodged Little White’s enthusiastic advances, not even letting its fur brush his robes.

"Whimper."

This was the first major setback in Little White’s canine life. Such an adorable and well-behaved little dog—others would fall in love with it at first sight. Only Xie Yan remained completely immune to its charms. It was so heartbroken that its ears and tail drooped, its expression utterly dejected.

"What brings you here?" I asked hesitantly, my voice a little dry as I comforted Little White. I still resented him for telling me to "get out" that day, so seeing him now, I assumed he had come to reprimand me.

Or perhaps something was wrong with the milk tea? But I had meticulously checked the recipe three times, and Xiao Man had confirmed that even the milk supply sent over was flawless.

At first, Xie Yan said nothing. His narrow, phoenix-shaped eyes were unfathomable, but the words he finally uttered made my blood boil: "I came to see if you’d died of your illness yet."

As soon as he finished, his cold gaze fell upon my rather thin cloud-silk robe, and he frowned slightly. "Is your room not enough for you to lie in?"

Listen to him—is that how a human being speaks?

I completely ignored his latter words, coughing a few times in anger, my eyes brimming with tears. I glared at him furiously, my tone laced with indignation: "How could I dare die before His Highness the Crown Prince has even passed away!"

Cursing royalty was a grave offense, but I was both ill and enraged, completely oblivious to such concerns.

When Xie Yan heard this, his face showed no anger. In fact, he seemed quite pleased with my reaction, even the corners of his lips curving slightly. "Such spirit—excellent."

I had no desire to acknowledge him, simply stroking Little White’s soft fur and treating him as if he weren't there.

This man had inexplicably told me to leave, and now he spoke so harshly. I decided not to speak to him anymore, content to play with Little White at my feet.

Seeing that I was ignoring him, Xie Yan didn’t seem embarrassed at all. He paced around me, first examining the potted plants in the manor, then observing the obedient Little White in my arms.

I didn't know what he was doing here, coming for no reason to criticize me without even apologizing for what happened before. It was utterly vexing.

Though it was summer, the midday heat had mostly dissipated, and the cool evening air was gradually setting in. I was sitting in a chilly corner of the courtyard, having defiantly ignored the imperial physician’s advice to cover myself with a blanket.

With just a cool breeze, I sneezed violently several times. I felt a bit embarrassed, but when I looked up, Xie Yan was gone.

I felt a little down, but I feigned indifference. Little White, sensing my frustration, quickly extended its tongue to lick my fingertips.

After being disturbed by Xie Yan like this, I couldn’t even focus on my storybook anymore. My mind was filled with his malicious words, and my chest felt heavy and unsettled.

I was naturally happy that he came to see me, but his words made me angry. Yet now that he had left, I felt profoundly dejected.

Love truly makes one’s emotions fluctuate a thousand times a day.

Just as I was staring blankly at the setting sun, the sound of hurried footsteps approached. I thought Xie Yan had long left, but he returned with my father, the imperial physician, and some servants trailing behind him.

As soon as I saw my father, I knew I was in for a scolding.

"Your illness has just gotten better, and yet you’re already disobedient, running out to the courtyard to catch the wind! If not for His Highness the Crown Prince mentioning it, I wouldn’t have known you were being so reckless! You all, carry the young master inside!" My father was fuming, his beard bristling, as he motioned for several servants.

"Father, there’s no need. I can walk on my own." Holding Little White, I tried to get down from the soft couch. I felt utterly mortified—being carried along with the couch, what a sight that would be.

But my father wouldn’t hear of it. The servants swiftly lifted the soft couch with me on it and carried it straight into my room.

When I glanced at Xie Yan, he happened to be looking at me too. His usually cold gray eyes now held a hint of amusement. This tattletale—he must have deliberately come to watch me make a fool of myself.

I was settled into bed, and my father wrapped me tightly in a brocade quilt before turning to the imperial physician and saying, "Since Imperial Physician Tian happened to come with His Highness, could you please take a look at my son’s condition? Previously, I always consulted Imperial Physician Lin, but he’s on duty today and couldn’t come."

Naturally, Imperial Physician Tian had no reason to refuse. He carefully took my pulse and diagnosed, "This young master’s health has always been frail. He cannot endure the cold in winter nor the heat in summer—he is more delicate than most people, and thus requires extra care."

My father was accustomed to hearing this and nodded repeatedly. Curious, I glanced at Xie Yan’s expression and saw that he was also listening very attentively.

I secretly suspected that Imperial Physician Tian was a spy sent by Xie Yan to investigate the true state of my illness. After taking my pulse, he even said, "The young master’s condition is no longer serious. If he has duties to attend to, he can resume work tomorrow. There’s no need to take leave."

See, see! I knew it! He really is Xie Yan’s accomplice, sent to exploit my poor, overworked self!

Although Imperial Physician Tian was in cahoots with Xie Yan, he still possessed some medical ethics. He said he would prescribe some nourishing medicine for me, so my father led him away to get the medication, leaving only Xie Yan and me in the room.

I hesitated, my lips trembling, unsure what to say, but Xie Yan spoke first. He asked casually, as if it were unimportant, "What were you and Xie Xing talking about that day?"

His question reminded me of how Xie Xing had asked me if I liked Xie Yan, and I immediately felt my ears grow hot, my cheeks flushing pink.

Seeing my reaction, Xie Yan’s originally calm expression suddenly darkened. The look in his eyes carried suppressed anger, but I didn’t understand where this anger was coming from. I even felt somewhat afraid and quickly took a step back.

From the day he told me to "get out" to his now unpredictable temperament, I suddenly felt flustered and lost. Even if liking someone meant gambling with my self-respect, I didn’t want to face such a perverse and strange temper.

Seeing my fearful reaction, the anger in Xie Yan’s eyes suddenly dissipated, replaced by calm indifference. He said nothing more and turned to leave. But I caught a fleeting emotion in his eyes and urgently grabbed his wide sleeve, my voice as soft as a mosquito’s: "Xie Xing asked me if I liked you."

"I said yes."

The moment I said it, I felt a sense of relief wash over me.

When you’re gripped by unknown fear, all you can do is overcome it. I did it. No matter how Xie Yan would react, I could face it calmly because I had honestly confronted my feelings. I was brave enough.

I thought Xie Yan would be even angrier than before, but when I looked up, I only saw his softened expression and slightly raised eyebrows. His voice carried a warmth I hadn’t heard before: "Since your illness is no longer serious, report for duty tomorrow."

I nodded obediently, and then I heard him say, "Xie Xing is scheming and unpredictable, with ill intentions. Stay away from him."

After saying this, he pulled his sleeve from my grasp without hesitation and left.

I stared blankly at his retreating figure, my thoughts in turmoil. This wasn’t the first time I had confessed my feelings to Xie Yan, but his reaction this time was different from last time—not as resistant, and even carrying a hint of seduction, like inviting me into his trap.

Could I conceitedly think that Xie Yan also likes me, even just a little?

Just a little would be enough.