Chapter 34: “It’s only about wanting to give or not wanting to give.”…

Chapter 34: The Nature of Giving

The freshly plucked Weeping Crabapple glistened with dew. Huo Ling gently touched the flower by her temple.

"I’d just given one back to Your Majesty, and now you’ve pinned another for me. At this rate, I fear I’ll never be able to repay you."

"What I give, I never ask to be returned."

"Is Your Majesty always this generous?"

Emperor Jingyuan walked to the railing, maintaining a measured distance from Huo Ling. At that, he tilted his head slightly. "Is that how you see me?"

"Making me a Commandery Lady, granting me two estates in the capital—isn’t that generous enough?"

Emperor Jingyuan didn’t dwell on these matters, nor did he take credit. "These honors are yours by right."

"In this world, nothing is truly ‘deserved’ or ‘undeserved.’" Huo Ling gazed at the shimmering lake under the moonlight and stretched her hand beyond the railing, as if trying to scoop up the moon from the water. "There is only willingness to give and unwillingness to give."

Emperor Jingyuan’s heart stirred. "That’s a remarkably wise way to put it."

If willing, even the unworthy may be given; if unwilling, even the most deserving may be met with countless excuses for refusal or delay.

Huo Ling affirmed, "No wonder Your Majesty is so cherished by your court."

Emperor Jingyuan asked, "And why is that?"

Huo Ling replied, "I judge by my own heart. If a lord treats me as someone of value, I will repay him in kind. Were I one of Your Majesty’s subjects, I would surely be grateful for your recognition and devote myself wholeheartedly to your service."

Emperor Jingyuan smiled. "When I selected ‘Xiang’an’ as your title, it truly could not have been more fitting."

"Your Majesty chose it?" Huo Ling was surprised. "I assumed it was the Ministry of Rites."

"By custom, the Ministry of Rites should have decided. But after reviewing the memorial, these words came to me, so I did not delegate the task further."

Not far away, Li Man swung a lantern in signal.

Emperor Jingyuan took the hint and said to Huo Ling, "The lakeside wind is biting. Shall we move to the pavilion?"

The octagonal pavilion was not far from Moonlit Ripple Lake, its stone table laid with fine tea and sweets.

Li Man poured tea for both of them before withdrawing discreetly.

Emperor Jingyuan asked, "Have you had the chance to explore Luocheng these past two days?"

"I left at dawn and didn’t return till late night."

Emperor Jingyuan calculated the duration. "You must’ve had quite the adventure. Having experienced it up close, does Luocheng still charm you as much?"

Huo Ling did not answer directly. Instead, she said, "You ask because you do not know what Luocheng means to me."

"I truly do not."

Emperor Jingyuan did not deny it. His knowledge of Huo Ling stemmed mostly from Prince Duan’s memorial and the play *Qing Yanxi*.

"But I remember you saying that if I had questions, I could ask you directly."

"Would the Commandery Lady care to enlighten me?"

Huo Ling rested her chin in her hand, her voice tinged with amusement: "Your Majesty insisted on hearing this, so you can't interrupt me halfway out of impatience."

Emperor Jingyuan couldn’t help but smile at the request: "I’ve always had plenty of patience."

Huo Ling only half-believed him. Earlier, when officials toasted him, his impatience was practically visible.

"Your Majesty knows my story well enough. After the Huo family's decline, my father was fixated on restoring its honor, hoping to lead the family back to the capital within his lifetime."

"That’s the air I grew up in. Before I even knew what the capital stood for, I was already dreaming of the day I’d set foot there."

"Ten years."

Huo Ling flashed ten fingers to Emperor Jingyuan: "From the moment I first harbored this hope until the day I finally stepped into the capital, a whole ten years went by."

"Your Majesty asked me whether Luocheng is truly good—my answer will never change. Because only a city this great could match a decade of my dreams."

Emperor Jingyuan instantly understood Huo Ling's sentiment.

In her heart, the "capital" was not merely a city—it was the living image of everything she’d hoped for.

"Entering the capital" did not mean literally stepping into the city, but coming back in triumph, reclaiming the confidence to stand as equals among the capital's nobility.

Emperor Jingyuan suddenly realized: "No wonder you said I was generous."

Huo Ling nodded: "What Your Majesty handed over so easily happened to be what I desired most."

With this understanding, revisiting the matters mentioned in the memorial and the play *Qing Yanxi*, Emperor Jingyuan saw things differently now: "You and He Tai don’t just clash because he nearly caused your father’s death, do you?"

Huo Ling’s eyes brightened, her watery gaze locking onto his: "Your Majesty noticed?"

Emperor Jingyuan wasn’t one to flaunt himself. With his power and status, he had no need to seek validation or admiration through ostentation.

Yet, under the weight of such a gaze, he ended up saying more than he meant to.

"When the Thirteenth Prince put in a good word for you, he mentioned how you persuaded Li Yichun to surrender."

He did not avoid mentioning Prince Duan in front of Huo Ling.

"At the time, I assumed your hatred for the mastermind outweighed your hatred for the weapon used to kill."

"Now, I realize what truly angered you was how He Tai almost blew it all, throwing up roadblocks to your return to the capital."

Huo Ling thought for a moment before nodding in agreement: "Your Majesty is correct."

"My father is no slouch in battle. Does Your Majesty agree with this assessment?"

Emperor Jingyuan coughed lightly, suppressing a smile: "Capturing Li Xiangdi alive does indeed earn him the title of a brave general."

Huo Ling knew what amused him and admitted sheepishly: "I didn’t mean to boast about my father. I only wished to emphasize that while he possesses military talent, what I felt most from him over the past decade was the grind of chasing a dream that never came and the agony of wasted years."

"He served as a captain in Yong’an County for over a decade. The greatest battle he fought was against a couple hundred mountain bandits."

"Both he and the Huo family had waited far too long for this opportunity."

"If this world were a gamble, some have enough chips to lose repeatedly, while others have only one chance. We finally reached the moment when we could go all in—only to nearly have it snatched away, as if hope flared only to vanish again."

"Can Your Majesty understand such a feeling?"

Originally, Emperor Jingyuan had no strong opinion about He Tai. In his view, Prince Duan had already meted out sufficient punishment back in Yanxi.

But after hearing Huo Ling’s analysis, he couldn’t help but adopt her perspective: "That makes sense."

Huo Ling smiled at him and didn’t press the He Tai matter further. Some things would seem too hasty if brought up now.

Moreover, Emperor Jingyuan was different from Prince Duan.

With Prince Duan, she had to lay out terms, broker deals, and talk gains—only through Prince Duan could she kill He Tai.

But with Emperor Jingyuan, all she needed was to win him over. Once won over, he could directly grant her the authority to kill He Tai.

So Huo Ling simply said, "In this process, if I let up even a little, or had worse luck, Your Majesty would never have noticed someone like me in this world."

Emperor Jingyuan didn’t refute this: "Since Our ascension to the throne, those of humble origins, unaffiliated with powerful families, who have reached Us entirely on their own merit—you could count them on one hand. And among those few, not a single one was a woman."

Huo Ling replied, "If that's true, I might grow proud."

The Emperor said, "That *was* praise."

Later, Huo Ling shifted the topic, discussing the palace dance with Emperor Jingyuan and introducing the dance music from Yanxi.

Huo Ling asked, "What was the name of the most splendid palace dance You’ve ever seen?"

Emperor Jingyuan racked his brain before naming a dance title.

Huo Ling remarked, "I can tell, Your Majesty isn’t interested in song and dance. It took you so long just to recall a name."

Emperor Jingyuan said, "We usually prefer painting, calligraphy, and chess to pass the time. The palace performances are mostly enjoyed by Ningxin."

Li Man, who had been standing quietly outside the pavilion, murmured a reminder: "Your Majesty, Commandery Lady, the palace banquet over there has ended."

Emperor Jingyuan paused, his fingers lightly tracing the rim of his cup, then suddenly said, "Speaking of painting, We recently completed a new piece—depicting the procession of captives entering the capital."

Huo Ling’s eyes curved into a smile: "Your Majesty’s work must be masterful. Do I get the honor of seeing it?"

Emperor Jingyuan replied, "You’re still new to the capital—have you visited the Great Xiangguo Temple yet?"

"I was about to pick a day to go."

"Which day have you chosen?"

"I’ll go the day *you* pick."

Emperor Jingyuan couldn’t help but laugh: "The Imperial Astronomer says three days from now will be a sunny day."

As the banquet had already ended, Cui Hongyi led the way, guiding Huo Ling and Wu Mo directly to where the carriages were parked.

***

The alleyway, earlier packed with carriages, now held only scattered ones.

To Huo Ling’s surprise, Princess Ningxin’s carriage was still there.

Cui Hongyi chuckled, "Commandery Lady, this lowly one takes my leave now."

"Safe travels, Attendant Cui."

After watching Cui Hongyi depart, Huo Ling nodded to Wu Feng at the reins and was about to board the carriage when she heard Xu Shidu’s cheerful voice from behind: "A Ling, you’re still around?"

"Back at the banquet, I wanted to chat with you, but you vanished into thin air. Where did you go?"

"The banquet was too stuffy, so I went to Moonlit Ripple Lake for some fresh air, then found a pavilion to sit in for a while." Huo Ling turned back with a smile, being completely truthful.

Xu Shidu didn’t seem particularly concerned about her exact whereabouts, merely asking out of courtesy: "I see. As long as you didn't have any trouble."

Princess Elder Ningxin interjected at the right moment: "Alright, Commandery Lady Xiang'an has had a long day. Let her go back and rest now. If there’s anything you want to chat about, save it for next time."

Only then did Xu Shidu remember that Huo Ling had been far busier than her today.

She gave an embarrassed smile, and after climbing into her carriage, she lifted the curtain while their carriages rode side by side to ask Huo Ling: "A Ling, are you free three days from now?"

"That day is my late grandfather's memorial day. I’ll be accompanying my mother to Daxiangguo Temple for the rites. Once they’re over, I can show you around the area."

"I’m afraid not," Huo Ling replied gently. "I already have plans that day."

Before Xu Shidu could show disappointment, Huo Ling added: "How about the day after tomorrow? I’ll treat you to a meal at *Fanlou*."