Chapter 6: All for a Single Egg

Chapter 6: All for a Single Egg

Although Fu Yuanhang didn’t particularly like this sister-in-law, he had been subtly influenced by his mother to be quite tolerant of her. As long as she didn’t plan to sell Chenchen, he wouldn’t bother with her.

"It’s Auntie. She comes by every day at this time to use our toilet," he explained matter-of-factly, without any complaint or accusation.

Su Taotao opened her mouth but said nothing. Sleeping in until noon was nothing compared to the other bizarre things the previous owner had done. This was just the tip of the iceberg.

Casually, she asked, "Doesn’t she have a toilet at her own place?"

Fu Yuanhang shook his head. "We’re the only ones in the village with a proper bathroom."

It was you who insisted on getting one installed when you got married, Fu Yuanhang thought, recalling how much money was spent on it.

Su Taotao realized she had asked a silly question. This was the 1970s, after all. Back then, most families used a chamber pot inside for peeing and an outhouse for pooping. It was partly due to the conditions and partly to save organic fertilizer, which was essential for their private plots.

A bad feeling started to creep up on her, and she asked, "Besides Auntie, no one else is coming to use our toilet, right?"

Before Fu Yuanhang could answer, a few more middle-aged women walked in, discussing the toilet usage.

Woman A: "Oh dear, my leftover pickles might have gone bad. My stomach has been rumbling all morning. Excuse me, but I need to go first."

Woman B: "No way, I was here first. I’m in a hurry too. If I weren’t, why would I come so early?"

Woman C: "Exactly, first come, first serve. If you can’t hold it, go to the outhouse. No cutting in line!"

Woman A pushed forward. "How can you be like this? If I could still use the outhouse, would I waste the fertilizer here? Oh dear, please, I really can’t hold it..."

Women B and C pushed her back. "No way!" they said in unison.

Su Taotao: "..." Did they even ask me if they could use the toilet?

"Ahem..." Su Taotao, with her arms crossed, walked up to them, blocking their path, and said with a smile, "Good morning, everyone."

The women, who had been arguing fiercely, froze when they saw Su Taotao. It was as if someone had suddenly grabbed their throats, and the noise stopped immediately.

Woman A pointed at her. "You... you... you... You’re Chenchen’s mom? What are you doing here?"

Su Taotao couldn’t help but laugh at the question. "Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Did you forget this is my house?"

Woman A pouted, thinking, You remember this is your house? You’re never here.

It really wasn’t the women’s fault. The previous owner had indeed been gone all the time, and they had forgotten what she looked like.

Woman B was more tactful. "Haven’t seen you in a while, Su. You’re looking prettier than ever."

She had only meant it as a casual remark, but upon closer inspection, it was as if a fairy had descended from the heavens.

The others looked closely at Su Taotao and agreed. With her peach blossom-like face and creamy skin, Su Taotao standing in the spring sunlight was already as beautiful as a celestial being. Compared to the sun-darkened faces of the laborers, the contrast was striking. To them, she truly looked like a goddess descended from the skies.

Woman C snapped out of it. "City girls are different. Not only is she beautiful, but even her toilet is better to use. Is anyone in there? Let us use the toilet first, then we can chat."

Su Taotao panicked. Oh no, she had forgotten to put on her disguise before leaving the room. She had never seen such a naturally beautiful face without makeup. What could she do? She had to put on a mean face to diminish her looks!

Su Taotao dropped her smile, put her hands on her hips, pointed at them, and scolded, "What do you think you’re doing? Coming to my house to release your toxins early in the morning? Do you think my house is a public toilet? I haven’t even used it yet. How dare you make my courtyard stink? I still need to eat breakfast, you know! Go away, my house doesn’t welcome you. Go back where you came from!"

The women were stunned by her outburst.

Aunt A was the quickest to react: "Hey, what's your problem? We came to your house early in the morning to deliver fertilizer, and instead of thanking us, you have the nerve to accuse us of spreading poison?"

Aunt B chimed in, "Exactly! We pity your small family—a widow and an orphan—and that's why we're kind enough to use your toilet. How dare you scold us?"

Aunt C added, "And you call yourself an educated youth? My grandmother hasn't said a word even though we come every day, but you have to be so rude. You're nothing but a shrew!"

Su Taotao wasn't angry. She really wasn’t good at arguing like a shrew, and the atmosphere had peaked. She stretched out her hand, pinching her thumb and forefinger together in a money-counting gesture.

"Oh, so you're being generous, are you? What our family lacks isn't just fertilizer, but also money. Look how skinny Chenchen is from hunger. Why don't you be even kinder and give us some money? Or how about this: I'll charge ten cents for each toilet use. If you go for a monthly plan, I'll give you a 30% discount—two dollars a month, how about that?"

Aunt A's stomach was indeed a bit uncomfortable, and after hearing Su Taotao's words, her blood pressure spiked. "You... you...!" Her face turned beet red as she struggled to hold it in, and before she could finish her sentence, she clutched her bottom and bolted, unable to wait any longer.

Aunt B jumped up, her voice turning into a scream. "Two dollars? Have you gone mad for money? Why don't you just rob us instead?"

Her entire family worked hard and saved every penny, but they couldn’t save two dollars after a month of labor. To be charged that much just for using a toilet? It was like asking for her life!

Aunt B glared at Su Taotao's "ugly" face and thought she must have been blind earlier to think she looked like a fairy. That greedy sneer was even uglier than the wrinkled visage of the tofu-skin seller at the village entrance.

Aunt C pointed at Su Taotao. "You must've gotten water in your brain when you fell into the river yesterday! Go see Huang Liu for some medicine! If you dare charge us, I'll report you to the commune for engaging in capitalist practices!"

Su Taotao nodded. "Fair enough, charging money might be inappropriate. How about one egg per use then? Twenty eggs for a monthly plan."

Eggs were hard currency these days.

Aunt C pulled Aunt B away. "Ptooey, Huang Liu only charges five eggs for a visit. What makes you think you can charge that much? Let's go, back to our own toilets. We can't let this waterlogged person benefit from our fertilizer!"

Su Taotao laughed as they left, calling after them, "Hey, Aunties, are you sure you don't want to use the toilet? It's cleaner than an outhouse, and one egg is a fair price! Spread the word for me, bring more people to use our toilet! I promise, just one egg per use, no exceptions!"

The two aunts stumbled, nearly tripping over the threshold, and turned to glare at Su Taotao.

Who in their right mind would go to her house to use the toilet when they had their own outhouse?

Sure enough, within ten minutes, the entire production team was gossiping about how Su Taotao had water in her brain from falling into the river and was now asking for an egg for each toilet use.

From that day on, no one dared to use Su Taotao's toilet again, knowing she wasn't someone to mess with.

Aunt Zhou had been finished in the toilet for a while but didn't dare come out, afraid Su Taotao would charge her an egg.

Su Taotao finally couldn't hold it in anymore and knocked on the door. "Aunt Zhou, did you fall into the toilet? If you don't come out, I'm kicking the door down."

Aunt Zhou had no choice but to open the door, not daring to look up at Su Taotao. She mumbled something about having things to do at home and practically sprinted out of the yard, just as quickly as she had arrived.

Neither Su Taotao, nor Zhou Linglan, nor Fu Yuanhang could hide their relief. None of them liked having people use their toilet.

Ever since the squat toilet was built, people had been coming to their house non-stop to use it, claiming they were giving fertilizer to the family. But the family always carried the fertilizer back to their own vegetable plots and never used it themselves. Zhou Linglan was too shy and soft-spoken to confront the villagers, so she put on a smile and welcomed them, even though she didn’t like it. Fu Yuanhang had mentioned his displeasure a few times, but no one took him seriously since he was still considered a child. They also didn’t want to make things difficult for his mother, so they endured it.

Today, Fu Yuanhang had truly seen it all. As the saying goes, only a villain can deal with villains.

Dealing with these people required unconventional methods.

Watching Su Taotao, who was now happily insisting on washing Chenchen's face and brushing his teeth, Fu Yuanhang thought to himself, maybe Big Sister really did get waterlogged in the head. But hey, maybe it was a good kind of water.